Send all the spells you want! You can't hurt me! *starts wiping out more pigeons with his gun**Takes another step to make sure the Master isn't caught in a trap*[Which brings him a step to close to the irresistibly slippery pool of oil around the ledge of the already sprung pit trap]
BLAM!
Ha ha! Down he goes!*Flies up, over pit*
What that noise we hearing outside?KILL THE VERMIN!!! KILL!!!! KILL!!!! KILL THEM ALL!!!
*All divebomb Jacks, sending spells at them all the way*
Nobody's immortal (Though the Lords of the Boards come close)!!! Touch of Death!!! Disintegrate!
Well done, Reggie...haw! haw!
BLAM! BLAM!
[reloads as scattered feathers fill the air]
Where are all the Jacks, what-what!? If they don't rally to the clubhouse soon, we might have to call on the Borg...*shouting over the gunfire* I think they're all passed out drunk! No Borg! We can handle these creeps!
We're the creeps?! You're the ones who shot at us!!! Now you pay! Nobody messes with the Pigeons!! The Paizomatrixes tried, and look where it got them!
Anti-Anti-Magic Field!
[sets up the Gatling gun, hold the ammo strip while Col. PJ takes the crank]
Leave our club, you invading verminous thieves!
[starts cranking the Gatling gun, sending a spray of death out in a fiery arc]
BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLA M!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!
Leave our club, you invading verminous thieves!
[starts cranking the Gatling gun, sending a spray of death out in a fiery arc]
Dismantle Machinery!!!
*Divebombs Panama Jack*
*Leaps into Saferoom*
*Sees masque on table*
*Gets out thieving tools, Pink Panther music playing*
*Remembers that goal was to destroy it*
*Takes out returning dagger and throws it at eyes of masque*
HAW! KC leaped into the false safe-room/anti-magic brig! Surrender and leave, minions, or your master will rot!
HAW! KC leaped into the false safe-room/anti-magic brig! Surrender and leave, minions, or your master will rot!
Minions?! HOW DARE YOU! WE SERVE NONE BUT OURSELVES!!!
And how much do you know about Lemmings?
HAW! KC leaped into the false safe-room/anti-magic brig! Surrender and leave, minions, or your master will rot!Minions?! HOW DARE YOU! WE SERVE NONE BUT OURSELVES!!!
And how much do you know about Lemmings?
Master in Saferoom?
We save him!! CHARRRGE!!!
Leave our club, you invading verminous thieves!
[starts cranking the Gatling gun, sending a spray of death out in a fiery arc]Dismantle Machinery!!!
*Divebombs Panama Jack*
*protects machinery and PJ from attacks* *blasts more pigeons*
Sir! I have my hand on the disintegration field lever to end the lizard, should the vermin not obey your orders!
*Draws Cleaver*
Let's see which magic is more powerful: The Cleaver's, or the Room's?
*Poof*
The Cleaver.
Etherealness!
HAW! KC leaped into the false safe-room/anti-magic brig! Surrender and leave, minions, or your master will rot!Minions?! HOW DARE YOU! WE SERVE NONE BUT OURSELVES!!!
And how much do you know about Lemmings?Master in Saferoom?
We save him!! CHARRRGE!!!
[The vermin bounce harmlessly off the impenetrable titanium door to the brig]
Sir! I have my hand on the disintegration field lever to end the lizard, should the vermin not obey your orders!
The trouble with your strategy is, we hate KC. Go ahead, pull it.
And Lemmings aren't bright enough to understand what you're even doing. They'll keep attacking until they're all dead.
Look here, KC, maybe we can reach some understanding about the mask...and we can call this whole thing off...
[The vermin bounce harmlessly off the impenetrable titanium door to the brig]HAW! KC leaped into the false safe-room/anti-magic brig! Surrender and leave, minions, or your master will rot!Minions?! HOW DARE YOU! WE SERVE NONE BUT OURSELVES!!!
And how much do you know about Lemmings?Master in Saferoom?
We save him!! CHARRRGE!!!
We not charging Brigg. We charging you. That save Master.
Sir, I have the flamethrower ready...take cover behind JRHM and I will take care of these lemmings...
[BLASTS LEMMINGS TO ASHES]
Look here, KC, maybe we can reach some understanding about the mask...
*Appears next to him*
Finally, some reason.The masque is known as the masque of Ovu Monubi. Suffice to say, its very existence endangers undead throughout the Board. It will turn undead even as powerful as liches into mere mindless zombies. Then, if they put on the masque...well, I won't go there.
Give me the masque, so that I can save the underworld.
Sir, I have the flamethrower ready...take cover behind JRHM and I will take care of these lemmings...
[BLASTS LEMMINGS TO ASHES]
You kill Lemming 1, 2, and...ummm...4?
Oh well. You die!
Sir, I have the flamethrower ready...take cover behind JRHM and I will take care of these lemmings...
[BLASTS LEMMINGS TO ASHES]
You kill Lemming 1, 2, and...ummm...4?
Oh well. You die!
Sigh. Lemmings, I'm okay. Pigeons, could you stop for a sec?
(I have to leave in literally 1 minute, so can we wrap this up)
See here, KC, I appeal to you in the Christmas spirit: We're giving the mask to the Borg for Christmas. What do you say, ol' Bean?
See here, KC, I appeal to you in the Christmas spirit ** spoiler omitted **. We're giving the mask to the Borg for Christmas. After the mask has worked its way upon the Borg, then you can step in and take it. What do you say, ol' Bean?
Agreed. *Teleports*
Alright, I guess you guys can live for another day. We're bored, anyways. Too easy.
Quite.
[Steadies himself against the bar, downs some rum.]
Quite.
[Steadies himself against the bar, downs some rum.]
Ya did good PJ. We're going to have to get a better security system in here. People tend to come and go as they please.
Hey, what did I miss here? What's with all the bullet holes? We just painted that!
Yeah, it was Kobold Cleaver and his pigeon flock trying to steal that mask. Don't worry, we got the money to fix it.
Ya did good PJ. We're going to have to get a better security system in here. People tend to come and go as they please.
You came in at just he right time, Righty. And if Reggie hadn't saved the steamers full of all the gear from our campaigning days, why, we'd all have dire pigeons dining on the eyes from our skull-sockets right now...what-what!
Stole KC's wallet, eh?Hey, what did I miss here? What's with all the bullet holes? We just painted that!Yeah, it was Kobold Cleaver and his pigeon flock trying to steal that mask. Don't worry, we got the money to fix it.
Nope. I still have a lot of money and jewels left over from the raid I did on the thieves' guildhouse a few weeks ago. However, the next time I talk to KC, he's going to give us some money for the damage he's done or he and his pigeon flock will face the wrath of the Jacks.
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Nope. I still have a lot of money and jewels left over from the raid I did on the thieves' guildhouse a few weeks ago. However, the next time I talk to KC, he's going to give us some money for the damage he's done or he and his pigeon flock will face the wrath of the Jacks.Stole KC's wallet, eh?Hey, what did I miss here? What's with all the bullet holes? We just painted that!Yeah, it was Kobold Cleaver and his pigeon flock trying to steal that mask. Don't worry, we got the money to fix it.
Prepare the sm*rfs to be unleashed in that case...
BTW, where's that worthless watchdog Llamafrog that's supposed to protect us from this stuff!
Prepare the sm*rfs to be unleashed in that case...Nope. I still have a lot of money and jewels left over from the raid I did on the thieves' guildhouse a few weeks ago. However, the next time I talk to KC, he's going to give us some money for the damage he's done or he and his pigeon flock will face the wrath of the Jacks.Stole KC's wallet, eh?Hey, what did I miss here? What's with all the bullet holes? We just painted that!Yeah, it was Kobold Cleaver and his pigeon flock trying to steal that mask. Don't worry, we got the money to fix it.
Good idea, dread lord!
BTW, where's that worthless watchdog Llamafrog that's supposed to protect us from this stuff!Let's cut his beer rations.
Will do.
I didn't know someone was giving out beer rations!
Welcome, fair one. We've usually only seen golems and men here in the clubhouse...I am Panama Jack, retired Colonel in her Majesty's armed forces, soldier of fortune, tanning products magnate, and bartender.
Here, let me make you a Dark and Stormy. Begins mixing.
Edit: Callous Jack here is our fearless leader.
I'm a seagull that steals food and beer and poops in inappropriate places.
*swoops down and steals a keg, pooping in it's place*
Hey, what did I miss here? What's with all the bullet holes? We just painted that!Yeah, it was Kobold Cleaver and his pigeon flock trying to steal that mask. Don't worry, we got the money to fix it.
Huh. I'm actually kind of surprised the Pigeons didn't show up. What are they up to?
And don't even bother trying to take my money. I'm willing to make a donation. I'm not in the mood to have the AJCists messing around with certain things that are going down at the moment.*Hands rather large check to Jacks before teleporting away*
*Steals check*
A pleasure to meet y'all. I'm Jackette, mid-western adventurer extraordinaire.
Gingerly steps over a gnawed wooden leg to accept the drink.
I see I have caught you gentlemen in the middle of redecorating.
*Steals check*
*Poops on check*
Hey, I didn't know you Jacks finally got a girl to join! It is a pleasure to meet you, my dear. Now, I mu- DIE, BIRD, DIE! *Throws knife at seagull.* Ahem, until next time, my fair lady, FAREWELL!
*Throws a smokebomb. When the smoke clears, he is gone.*
Hey, I didn't know you Jacks finally got a girl to join! It is a pleasure to meet you, my dear. Now, I mu- DIE, BIRD, DIE! *Throws knife at seagull.[/ooc]* Ahem, until next time, my dear lady, FAREWELL!
*[i]Throws a smokebomb. When the smoke clears, he is gone.*
Sigh...you really do find the weirdos here...like those Jacks...
*Poops on Jackette*
Where's my bar order, what-what? I left it here on the bar...
Searches and picks up piece of paper from the bar.
Ah-ha! Opens fold of paper. Why, this is not my bar order! This is the check from KC! Seems the thief has absconded with a pooped-on copy of my weekly bar order! Guffaws raucuously as he puts the check in the safe.
Starts cleaning out bird poo.
This isn't nearly as bad as that instance with Bigfoot in northern Wisconi'.
*Flies away*
*Flies back quickly*
Listen, I like you people. It wasn't your fault you shot at me, you thought I was a common thief. But guess what? A bunch of 'common thieves' plan to steal from you guys! Just in case you wanted to know. I'm gonna watch them, I might learn some more.