The Angry Jack Cult


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Callous Jack wrote:

I meant I was aiming for the face!

*pushes button for kobold minion to set up new dummy*

*'accidentally' shoots kobold with 2nd LAW rocket*

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Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:

I meant I was aiming for the face!

*pushes button for kobold minion to set up new dummy*

*'accidentally' shoots kobold with 2nd LAW rocket*

Aw hell.

*pushes button again*


Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:

I meant I was aiming for the face!

*pushes button for kobold minion to set up new dummy*

*'accidentally' shoots kobold with 2nd LAW rocket*

Looks like we know what Hungry Jack is going to make us for dinner- Kobold stew. Yummy!

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Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Looks like we know what Hungry Jack is going to make us for dinner- Kobold stew. Yummy!

Bleh, they're too gamey for me.


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Looks like we know what Hungry Jack is going to make us for dinner- Kobold stew. Yummy!
Bleh, they're too gamey for me.

Didn't know that kobolds could game. *scratches head*

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Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Looks like we know what Hungry Jack is going to make us for dinner- Kobold stew. Yummy!
Bleh, they're too gamey for me.
Didn't know that kobolds could game. *scratches head*

*shoots JackHammer "by accident" with his shotgun*


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Looks like we know what Hungry Jack is going to make us for dinner- Kobold stew. Yummy!
Bleh, they're too gamey for me.
Didn't know that kobolds could game. *scratches head*
*shoots JackHammer "by accident" with his shotgun*

Oww! You pulled a Cheney on me!

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Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Looks like we know what Hungry Jack is going to make us for dinner- Kobold stew. Yummy!
Bleh, they're too gamey for me.
Didn't know that kobolds could game. *scratches head*
*shoots JackHammer "by accident" with his shotgun*
Oww! You pulled a Cheney on me!

Er... it was JRHM...


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Looks like we know what Hungry Jack is going to make us for dinner- Kobold stew. Yummy!
Bleh, they're too gamey for me.
Didn't know that kobolds could game. *scratches head*
*shoots JackHammer "by accident" with his shotgun*
Oww! You pulled a Cheney on me!
Er... it was JRHM...

Ohhh...thanks.

bleeds all over JRHM's nachos

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Jack Hammer wrote:

Ohhh...thanks.

bleeds all over JRHM's nachos

Ewww...

Now then, where's my blunderbuss?

*waits for kobold to finish setting up pony target*


Jack Hammer wrote:


bleeds all over JRHM's nachos

Hey! *smacks Hammer in the back of the head* *Shoots Hammer in the posterior with his crossbow*


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:


bleeds all over JRHM's nachos

Hey! *smacks Hammer in the back of the head* *Shoots Hammer in the posterior with his crossbow*

Oww! Now how am I supposed to sit on my butt all day watching the pay channels?

Besides we Jacks bleed Dark & Stormys. It's kinda like 'Is that Blood in my nachos or nachos in my blood?' Both are good.

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Jack Hammer wrote:

Oww! Now how am I supposed to sit on my butt all day watching the pay channels?

Don't worry, I'll shoot the crossbow bolt out!

*BLAM!*


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Oww! Now how am I supposed to sit on my butt all day watching the pay channels?

Don't worry, I'll shoot the crossbow bolt out!

*BLAM!*

Dang! Stop that!

The shot is echoed by JH letting loose with a loud fart

Do I look like a pony lawyer full of candy?

limps over to bar, leaving a trail of Dark & Stormy. And leaving them in the cloud.

Liberty's Edge

Pour me a dark and Stormy, Reggie. I want to forget about...here.

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Hey, c'mon, what's a few stray arrows and shotgun blasts between friends?


Cultist of Jack wrote:
Come one and all and join the Cult of Jack. Welcome your new overlord and usher in the rise of the new Jack age.

I've always liked Callous Jack, but might this be too much of a good thing?


Shadow13.com wrote:
Cultist of Jack wrote:
Come one and all and join the Cult of Jack. Welcome your new overlord and usher in the rise of the new Jack age.
I've always liked Callous Jack, but might this be too much of a good thing?

Sweetie, you have no idea. ;)


Callous Jack wrote:

Hey, c'mon, what's a few stray arrows and shotgun blasts between friends?

Shotgun? Did someone mention shotguns?

shotguns 3 Dark & Stormys

Now that's a shotgun! *hic*

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lynora-Jill wrote:
Shadow13.com wrote:
Cultist of Jack wrote:
Come one and all and join the Cult of Jack. Welcome your new overlord and usher in the rise of the new Jack age.
I've always liked Callous Jack, but might this be too much of a good thing?
Sweetie, you have no idea. ;)

What lynora-Jill is trying to say is, "Of course not, silly!"

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Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:

Hey, c'mon, what's a few stray arrows and shotgun blasts between friends?

Shotgun? Did someone mention shotguns?

shotguns 3 Dark & Stormys

Now that's a shotgun! *hic*

Perhaps having target practice near the bar is not such a good idea...


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:

Hey, c'mon, what's a few stray arrows and shotgun blasts between friends?

Shotgun? Did someone mention shotguns?

shotguns 3 Dark & Stormys

Now that's a shotgun! *hic*

Perhaps having target practice near the bar is not such a good idea...

Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:

Hey, c'mon, what's a few stray arrows and shotgun blasts between friends?

Shotgun? Did someone mention shotguns?

shotguns 3 Dark & Stormys

Now that's a shotgun! *hic*

Perhaps having target practice near the bar is not such a good idea...

"Agreed. We must think of the Dark & Stormys..." ;)

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jack Hammer wrote:
Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?

You're not even aiming in the right direction!


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?
You're not even aiming in the right direction!

*hic*

Did I get some on your leg? Sorry.

*hic*


lynora-Jill wrote:
Shadow13.com wrote:
Cultist of Jack wrote:
Come one and all and join the Cult of Jack. Welcome your new overlord and usher in the rise of the new Jack age.
I've always liked Callous Jack, but might this be too much of a good thing?
Sweetie, you have no idea. ;)

And it always goes better if you add a Lynora to it :)

*Hey, save me some kobold!*

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?
You're not even aiming in the right direction!

*hic*

Did I get some on your leg? Sorry.

*hic*

*Blam*


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?
You're not even aiming in the right direction!

*hic*

Did I get some on your leg? Sorry.

*hic*

*Blam*

Owww........ *hic*

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?
You're not even aiming in the right direction!

*hic*

Did I get some on your leg? Sorry.

*hic*

*Blam*
Owww........ *hic*

Sorry, I was aiming for Fratjack.


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?
You're not even aiming in the right direction!

*hic*

Did I get some on your leg? Sorry.

*hic*

*Blam*
Owww........ *hic*
Sorry, I was aiming for Fratjack.

Sure thing, Mr. Cheney.

How 'bout a Dark & Stormy? With a cherry on top? Don't worry about the sparkling fuse...err...sparkler.

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?
You're not even aiming in the right direction!

*hic*

Did I get some on your leg? Sorry.

*hic*

*Blam*
Owww........ *hic*
Sorry, I was aiming for Fratjack.

Sure thing, Mr. Cheney.

How 'bout a Dark & Stormy? With a cherry on top? Don't worry about the sparkling fuse...err...sparkler.

Say, why does that sparkler look like a stick of dynamite?


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?
You're not even aiming in the right direction!

*hic*

Did I get some on your leg? Sorry.

*hic*

*Blam*
Owww........ *hic*
Sorry, I was aiming for Fratjack.

Sure thing, Mr. Cheney.

How 'bout a Dark & Stormy? With a cherry on top? Don't worry about the sparkling fuse...err...sparkler.

Say, why does that sparkler look like a stick of dynamite?

It's just for decoration. Gives the drink a little extra kick.

inches away slowly, heading behind the recently reinforced bar


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Sure thing, Mr. Cheney.

How 'bout a Dark & Stormy? With a cherry on top? Don't worry about the sparkling fuse...err...sparkler.

Say, why does that sparkler look like a stick of dynamite?

Oooo, an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! I thought they stopped making those?


Wolfie, KC's #2 Buddy wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Sure thing, Mr. Cheney.

How 'bout a Dark & Stormy? With a cherry on top? Don't worry about the sparkling fuse...err...sparkler.

Say, why does that sparkler look like a stick of dynamite?
Oooo, an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! I thought they stopped making those?

I found it under the bar. That guy Marvin from the work crew must have left it behind accidentally.


Jack Hammer wrote:
Wolfie, KC's #2 Buddy wrote:
Oooo, an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! I thought they stopped making those?
I found it under the bar. That guy Marvin from the work crew must have left it behind accidentally.

Oooooooooooo, pretty... {creeps closer to IQ36SM}


Pulls out 'toy gun' left under bar.

"Hey, he musta left this behind too."

Aims toy gun at CJ's autographed Joe Montana football on the bookshelf, and squeezes the trigger. A crackling beam of lightning disintegrates the football.

"Oops!"

hides gun under a towel


A strange little man walks into the Clubhouse.

'Excuse me. Has anyone found my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator? It's my last one.'


Marvin the Martian wrote:

A strange little man walks into the Clubhouse.

'Excuse me. Has anyone found my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator? It's my last one.'

Yeah, I saw it over at the Poodle's Clubhouse.


Jack Hammer wrote:

Pulls out 'toy gun' left under bar.

"Hey, he musta left this behind too."

Aims toy gun at CJ's autographed Joe Montana football on the bookshelf, and squeezes the trigger. A crackling beam of lightning disintegrates the football.

"Oops!"

hides gun under a towel

That was way too cool. When you're done I'd like to play with it. I'm going to try it on the poodles.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Marvin the Martian wrote:

A strange little man walks into the Clubhouse.

'Excuse me. Has anyone found my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator? It's my last one.'

Yeah, I saw it over at the Poodle's Clubhouse.

Goes to leave but spots the lit Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator is CJ's drink

"Oh my."

He walks over and snuffs out the lit wick and removes the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator from the drink.

"Thank you, sir. This would have been bad if it went off. Now I can get back to my work. We have a demolition job on a planet called Earth."

He walks out.


"I thought it was a cherry bomb! How would I know?"

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jack Hammer wrote:
Aims toy gun at CJ's autographed Joe Montana football on the bookshelf, and squeezes the trigger. A crackling beam of lightning disintegrates the football.

David Fryer is going to be pissed, he loaned that to the clubhouse. Luckily nothing happened to my collection of heads in a jar (see Futurama) of the 1970 to 1976 Cincinnati Reds.


Callous Jack wrote:
Sorry, I was aiming for Fratjack.

Sorry boss, next time I'll try to jump in front of your aim so that you don't miss.

You should also go bazooka, that way you can never miss.

Look, no eyes:
SWOOOOOOOOOSHBLAM!

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Ah, thank you FJ!

*blam*


Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Aims toy gun at CJ's autographed Joe Montana football on the bookshelf, and squeezes the trigger. A crackling beam of lightning disintegrates the football.
David Fryer is going to be pissed, he loaned that to the clubhouse. Luckily nothing happened to my collection of heads in a jar (see Futurama) of the 1970 to 1976 Cincinnati Reds.

Uuuh... I used some of those jars to put my pickled eggs and kobolds... I hope they don't catch the head flavor

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Frat Jack wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
Aims toy gun at CJ's autographed Joe Montana football on the bookshelf, and squeezes the trigger. A crackling beam of lightning disintegrates the football.
David Fryer is going to be pissed, he loaned that to the clubhouse. Luckily nothing happened to my collection of heads in a jar (see Futurama) of the 1970 to 1976 Cincinnati Reds.
Uuuh... I used some of those jars to put my pickled eggs and kobolds... I hope they don't catch the head flavor

Pete Rose ate all the eggs in his jar.


I thought those were jars of homemade mesquale, and you just didn't have any worms.

Tasted good, though I didn't get drunk enough. I left the heads in the empty jars.


*Pokes the thread*

Is this still on?

*tok tok tok*


Frat Jack wrote:

*Pokes the thread*

Is this still on?

*tok tok tok*

Yep. You're still wearing that beanie.


Man, what is with my Jack bretheren! Represent !

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