Rhavin |
I'm venting this online because I can't do it in real...
So.... after a long and sucky day I'm finally having a nice evening when it all goes to hell.
Long story short I ending up needing to give dating advice to a female friend. I happen to "like" said female friend though I keep that to myself and she doesn't seem to know. I happen to hate the guy she needed advice on. I happen to be a selfless enough person that I didn't bring my feelings into the advice I gave. I happen to be good enough friends with her that I gave her useful advice. The guy in question is so clingy that even though they aren't dating yet he interfears with my normal friendship with her.
Now I want to go beat something up...
Mothman |
Sucky situation Rhavin. Like the other guys here, I don’t know your exact situation, but I learnt a while back that in similar situations, it’s usually best to either stop thinking about the girl in “that” way, or else just tell her how you feel. I’d advocate the latter; it’s generally worked out pretty well for me in the past, and if you really like her, then now (ie, before she actually starts dating this guy) seems like as good a time as ever.
But yeah, I’ve been the friend who tries to be there for a girl I’m secretly attracted to whilst she deals with her guy troubles. What you realise after a while is that you’re actually not doing her any favours by trying to help her work things out with the jerky ones. Don’t think that your feelings for her might be clouding your judgement and go too far the other way to compensate. Just ask yourself, as honestly as you can, do you really think that this guy would be good for her, and go from there.
TheOcho |
I agree with the others above. It sounds like you need to be honest with her. Take her out and do something spontaneous. You have a better than fair chance at becoming more than friends.
Hmm, my advice sounds like I got it from a fortune cookie. Either way there is no reason to complain about something that you have full control over. Like Nike said, "Just do it".
kessukoofah |
Been there, done that, several time...
every time i tried to push it beyond friends, she stopped talking to me, even got outright laughed at a couple times. some thought it was a joke, some apparently thought I was the joke. whenever i didn't, he got jealous of our friendship and forced her to choose, wherein she invariably chooses him over me. life sucks. lost a lot of friends that way. maybe that's one of the contributing factors to my growing sense of cynacism and not wanting to get close to anyone.
...when i get home, i think i'm going to lean my mattress against the wall and punch the hell out of it.