The concerned father scowl's even more ferociously and spurs his horses forward. The sarcastic girls target you with their vicious mockery as it pull's out of sight.
...
Hours later of dusty walking--another wagon makes it way slowly up the road. It's not as big as the first one and is full of sacks of grain. Other than the heavy sacks, it is empty except for the driver. He slows and looks at you warily? "Long road," he says.
Tallis takes off his hat and holds it to his chest. "Please, we are just humble monks, heading towards Fort Gyr. Can we please ride in your cart for a while?"
Diplomacy check: (1d20+1=6) [shakeshead]
"Yes please," I say, not realizing that there is a bit of food stuck to my teeth.
The wagon driver looks frightened and shouts, "Stay back. I'm armed. With ... magic."
He's not.
He whips the sagging back of his horse and drives away.
A few hours of eating dust later, a third wagon thunks up the road on four wheels of different sizes and shapes. This one is pulled by a rather ancient pair of donkeys with some kind of gastrointestinal disorder. It's driven by a half-orc wearing only a blood-stained pair of shorts and some colorful scarves. The wagon itself carries a load of chicken coops. It is covered with net to prevent the four or five chickens that have escaped from their coops from making an escape from the wagon itself.
The half-orc leers at you cheerfully and says, "Okay, then. Who wants to ride up front with me? ... It gets awfully lonely in the front."
"That's alright, I get a bit sick if I sit too far up front."
I hop in the back.
"Sure, I'll ride in front with you." With that, Tallis hops up. "Mind if I play some music?" Not waiting for an answer, Tallis pulls out his flute and plays a tune. Somewhere, an angel weeps from the beauty of this haunting melody.
"I shall sit in the back."
He climbs up and sits opposite Jackie.
Diplomacy Check. (1d20-2=5)
And with that, the half-orc, whom you later learn is named Faruq, pokes the ass in the ass with a sharp stick, spurring it onward. The wagon thunks and clucks and farts its way up a long, bumpy road.
"You lucky. Next cart a-comin' up this road was hauling bat guano. You know, for material components for fireball spells. Fort Gyr's the place where they roll the bat guano into those little balls. These chicken's are for eating but their feathers are for hideous laughter and fear spells. Only real source of income for Fort Gyr. Crazy place to build a fort. Not much up there. Nope. Not much. Just rolling batshit into little balls and reselling it to magic supply shops. Heck of an industry if you ask me. If I was a wizard, I'd roll my own batshit, you know? Not hard to do. If you're smart enough to remember all those words, you'd be smart enough to roll up a little ball of shit or pluck a feather from a chicken, right? Big brains, lazy bones. That's what my mom always said. Big brains, lazy bones. You don't talk much do ya? Just sit there playing that creepy music. Maybe you're a mute? Or a moron? One of those savant types that can play music real good but can't put his pants on by himself? Is that right? Ah, well, never mind. I can talk enough for the both us. This your first time at Fort Gyr? Oh, right. You can't talk. I forgot. Crazy place to build a fort. Not much up there..."
Beneath his hat's concealing shade, Tallis grits his teeth, and just tries to play over the yapping.
I play the best I ever had... and he can't stop talking long enough to listen.
He stops playing for a few seconds when there is a slight break in the wall of sound. "No, I am not mute, and I am not an idiot. I'm just a wandering monk, originally from the School of The Conniving Bullfrog."
The flute music picks up again, louder than ever, before he can begin to here the response.
Bandle has been slogging along in silence with a hurt look at the initial grumpy attitudes of his fellow travellers.
"There's always room for me in the back" he grins slyly and leaps up amongst the coops.
Faruq turns out to be only mildly annoying, a bit of a prankster even. He's happy to leave most of you alone as long as he has one willing to listen to his endless prattle. By taking turns, you can avoid upsetting him.
You encounter little traffic on the road to Fort Gyr. After a day and a half of relatively uneventful travel, you reach 'Brownride,' a long ridge that would be a mountain in some countries but in Kortos does not qualify.
The road climbs slowly up the 'Brownride' smallest of the Kortos Mounts. The giant Arazlant Mox and the other Kortos Mounts loom to the northeast reminding you that Kortos holds fiercer tribes and bigger things than its human settlers have ever hoped to tame. From the top of the ridge, you get a good look at the valley that contains Fort Gyr.
A river runs north to south down the center of the valley. You are entering from the east side of the river. Between the river and you, is a small outpost, Fort Gyr. There are a few permanent residences and some large communal buildings that Faruq tells you are workshops and warehouses, but the rest of the territory enclosed by the pallisade contains tents, one against the other.
There are a few farms between Fort Gyr and the river. The fields have been plowed but you see no crops growing.
Crops should have been planted three weeks ago. The lack of any crops seems odd.
On the other side of the 'Godsmaw' river are a long series of jagged hills. Smoke rises from behind them.
"Wwho is in charge in this place," I muse outloud, though my eyes drift over to the smoke rising from behind the hills, wondering what that portends.
"Wwho is in charge in this place," I muse outloud, though my eyes drift over to the smoke rising from behind the hills, wondering what that portends.
"Cam Donelly," answers Faruq. "Never seen that many tents there."
He pokes his donkeys, which you've found seems to cause them to fart more often than it causes them to speed up. The wagon starts down the hill towards Fort Gyr.
Lord spends his time in the wagon studying the surrounding area and trying to talk as little as possible with those around him. He is wary that former enemies in a fighting arena should be getting so close to each other and is just waiting for someone to stab him in the back, especially Jackie after what Lord did to him.
"I'm starting to think that there's a battle afoot or something," I say, "refugees and smoke I would wager"
"The smoke is on the far side of that river. Hasn't been much there since the early fort was lost twenty years ago. You may be right though. Something is afoot and ahand."
The wagon proceeds slowly, down the slope and along a dirt road past several dozen small farms. Not one person can be found. Wild dogs run loose and bark at the wagon but retreat quickly if you even glare at them menacingly. Crows peck away at sacks of seeds that should have been planted weeks ago.
When you approach the fort, you are given an unfriendly greeting: a half-dozen poorly armoured archers, many of them children, draw bows and start shouting at you in a confused cacophony of orders, questions, and greetings. An elderly man silences them with a wave of his hand but does not order them to lower their bows.
"Are there just the five of you? What's your business?"
"We've been sent to check on a prisoner transfer that was supposed to be completed a few days ago," I call out, standing up in the wagon, "Who's in charge here?"
"We've been sent to check on a prisoner transfer that was supposed to be completed a few days ago," I call out, standing up in the wagon, "Who's in charge here?"
"Cam Donelly, but he ... Prisoner transfer? You mean some prisoners from the Ashlands Prison? They never arrived. ... Faruq? Show me your ugly face so I know it's you!"
Faruq smiles winsomely at the old man and the gates are pulled open. "That ain't right. They knows I'm handsome. Whatsmore, they're usually friendlier than that."
"Were we told where the prisoners were going to and from," I whisper to the others.
Lord shrugs at Jackie's question and watches the guards warily. Children could be a bit jumpy and he didn't want one of them getting nervous and turning him into a pincushion. He makes sure to try and get as much cover as he can between himself and the archers just in case (whether that be chickens, Faruq or another party member).
Bandle just hunkers down where he's been lazily dozing for thae last half day. He takes in Jakie's statement and put some thought to try and remember what the captain said.
Prisoner transfer...get some prisoners, leave some prisoners, crops unplanted, smoke on the horizon...
it all swirls around his brain , not really coelescing into anything substantial
Faruq smiles up at the old man and says tactfully, "Let us in, old man."
The old man seems to accept Faruq as who he is but turns attention to the rest of you. "Who are you and why do you come? How can I know Faruq, they aren't forcing you to carry them?"
"Um, Captain Runewell sent us for these guys so that we could take them to that other place because of the thing. You know?"
One of the teenagers on the walkway over the gate lets an arrow fly at Little Jakie. It flies straight and true and pierces LJ's pant leg but not his leg.
"Hold! I gave no order," the old man calls out in a voice that tells you he once was a soldier.
"I slipped. And, he's kind of creepy. My arm was tired."
"Okay, lower your bows ... slowly," the old man calls out to the armed children surrounding him.
"Faruq, we're opening the gates. Ride in slowly. None of you ...," he says waving to the monks, "...none of you do anything."
He looks at LJ and adds, "Maybe it's best if you don't even speak."
With a frustrated and heartfelt sigh, I nod sadly and follow the others in through the gates.
Lord quietly follows the others in through the gate, sneering at the stupidity and lack of discipline amongst the defenders. "How easy it would be to kill them and create some real order and authority in this backwater outpost."
He wisely keeps these thoughts to himself however and walks with his hands held straight beside him, palms facing forward to show that he is 'unarmed' and cooperating.
Bandle hunkers down in the back attempting to hide. He slides down between two chicken cages and tries to look like he's asleep
But instead he misjudges the back of the cart, and as it pulls thru the gate he tumbles off with a large cloud of dust and sits squinting with one eye, spitting out a mouthful of dirt.
The gates open. Faruq spurs the donkeys. The wagon enters the crowded fort. There's a clearing of twenty feet before the tents begin, but after that buffer, it is wall to wall tents. You see many women and children, and a few older men.
Faruq's donkey farts one last time and collapses. He busies himself prodding the donkey and waves a hasty goodbye to you.
The older man rapidly descends from the wall by a ladder and hurries towards you. "Who are you? Why are you here? Did you see any gnolls on your way in? Were you attacked? Did you bring supplies? Food? Does Absalom know of our plight? Did our messages get through?"
Forgetting I'm not supposed to talk, I say, "We were told nothing of Gnolls or messengers. We were sent to inquire as to a prisoner transfer that had not been completed. What is your situation here? I am Jakie of the school of the Noisy Cricket."
Tallis glances around nervously. "Uh, what he said. I'm Tallis Kotellos of the Conniving Bullfrog School."
"I'm with these fellows..er, yeah" pipes Bandle giving Lord Flash the once over as if to make out whether he's male or female and seeming to decide he's male, Bandle continues. " I was seeking the study of Mancentrendal Transvivercation when I fell in with this lot."
He dusts himself off and tries to seem intellectual by grasping his chin beteween his thumb and forefingers. He then summons his most querulous expression 1d20+2=12
and goes on "The Captain gave orders of great specifosity, with regards to us finding out the nature of the lack of personageal contact with the indivifuals herein scheduled to be transfered"
He pauses in his verbal eruption to see if anyone is paying any attention before muttering under his breath "Great unwashed doe-eyed simpleton!"
"I'm with these fellows..er, yeah" pipes Bandle giving Lord Flash the once over as if to make out whether he's male or female and seeming to decide he's male, Bandle continues. " I was seeking the study of Mancentrendal Transvivercation when I fell in with this lot."
He dusts himself off and tries to seem intellectual by grasping his chin beteween his thumb and forefingers. He then summons his most querulous expression 1d20+2=12
and goes on "The Captain gave orders of great specifosity, with regards to us finding out the nature of the lack of personageal contact with the indivifuals herein scheduled to be transfered"He pauses in his verbal eruption to see if anyone is paying any attention before muttering under his breath "Great unwashed doe-eyed simpleton!"
The old man rolls his eyes while several of the younger ones nod their heads at the importance of these visitors.
"Maybe we'd better get them in to see Captain Donelly?" asks one of the younger ones.
The old man looks skeptical but agrees. "At the very least, they can tell Cam what they're doing here. It will cheer the Captain up that someone made it through. And those chickens will feed us for a day or two."
"So are those gnolls making that smoke over there," I ask as we are escorted in.
"I'm a gnoll you know! And all my relatives are. What's more I find it exeedingly impolite to talk about me as if I'm not here. Tho it has been my experience that rude large folk try to ignore me once in a while...well maybe it is actually most of the time..but it's still rude. And that is a most uncouth pronouciation. And we generally don't burn other peoples stuff (if it can be helped) tho we ocassionally burn down our own settlements, but that's only in the cause of furthering knowledge of course." The gnome prattles at Jakie
Then making a great bow with his mouth he says "Gn-oo-mmme. like this Gn-ooo-mme" instructionally.
The old man leads you through the tents towards a larger building in the center of the fort. Along the way he makes a concerted effort not to slap Bandle on the back of his head. He really tries.
He ignores LJ's question. "Cam will decide what to tell you."
Once you reach the central building, a few women, armed with spears, step aside to let you in. You are led down a corridor and into a room which was once an office but in which the desk has been pushed aside and replaced with a bed. The desk is just out of reach of the bed.
In the bed, lies a man of about 35. Even lying down and obviously wounded he has an aura of command about him. The attentive young woman by his side prevents him from attempting to sit up as you walk in.
"Tell me that one of you is in good enough with the gods to channel some divine healing my way," the man orders. "If not, tell me that Absalom's got our message and is sending reinforcements."
Tallis stands in the back cryptically. "No, the only reason they have to think anything is wrong is because the prisoner transfer hasn't happened yet. They decided to just send four monks to find out what's taking so long."
Tallis stands in the back cryptically. "No, the only reason they have to think anything is wrong is because the prisoner transfer hasn't happened yet. They decided to just send four monks to find out what's taking so long."
"Four monkeys?" asks the old man. "I only saw chickens!"
"Monkeys?" repeats Captain Cam Donelly astonished. "I ask for an army and they send me four monkeys? I should fire that scribe and get one with tidier handwriting."
He turns to the lovely young woman beside him, "You're fired."
She begins to gather up her stuff as if this isn't the first time she's been fired today.
Tallis sighs and lowers his hat over his face. "You seem to be misunderstanding me. They sent four monks to investigate. As in four people who are surprisingly good at punching things. As in they did not get your note."
Tallis sighs and lowers his hat over his face. "You seem to be misunderstanding me. They sent four monks to investigate. As in four people who are surprisingly good at punching things. As in they did not get your note."
"Oh. Well, I guess that beats four monkeys. It'll have to do. Now, let's strategerize."
Lord Flash has remained silent throughout this whole exchange, merely staying to the back and watching the proceedings.
He does notice Bandle's perusal of him and after his sneer does little to deter the excitable Gnome he gives up and simply absorbs. "It is wise to know the strengths and weaknesses of those around you so as to better understand their nature," his old Master once said and it is a piece of advice that he has taken very seriously and has kept him alive on more than one occasion.
"What exactly is your situation at the moment?"
"I gather that you have a beast-man problem?"
I very carefully avoid mentioning gnolls so as not to excite the excitable gnome.
"Man-beast? Gnolls, dammit! Enough of this 'correct speech'! Call a gnoll, a gnoll," growls Cam Donnelly trying to sit up. "You girl, where are you going? Get back here. We'll need someone to take notes."
"You fired me, uncle," says the girl sulkily.
"That was before I heard about the man-beasts joining the gnoll forces. Things are worse than I thought. We'll need everyone together on this. No use changing horses in mid-stream ... Mid-stream. Yes. That's where we should begin. ..."
Cam Donnelly, who seems oddly both completely crazy and entirely competent, outlines the situation for you. Gnolls were first spotted in large numbers in the hills on the other side of Godsmaw river. A few have swum across and harrassed farmers but the river is too dangerous. The river is quite high now but soon it will begin to dry up and when that happens, the gnolls are likely to cross the river and attack the fort.
Gnolls have allowed people to enter the fort, but no one who has left the fort in the past two weeks has been heard from again.
"But what's the use of telling you about it? Four monks or four monkeys it won't make much of a difference. Reports have it that there are a hundred gnolls up there in the hills!"
"Giria gopljus drehenresh ordo, snorgophlorgits"
Bandle says in gnomish.
Then he goes on animatedly "But the man beasts do seem to pose a rather large problem, a hundred you say? These fellows right here single handeledly...or wait" he turns and quickly counts the hands of his new companions holding a finger awkwardly up for each hand he counts. "One..two..three..four...five...six...seven...seven handedly killed 200 zombies..I heard the whole thing!" then he narrows his eyes at the human Cam. "what is it that we can do to help?" then muttering lowly "you chisel-nosed horse-doggie"
"Who leads these gnolls?"
"Who leads these gnolls?"
"Good question!" says Cam. Turning to his niece he says, "Write that down. New page. Heading: List of questions the monks are going to answer for us when they sneak across the river and infiltrate the gnoll encampment. Question 1. Who leads these gnolls? ... Other questions?"
"I have one. Why should we sneak into the gnoll camp, other than not having to eat the gnome when the food runs out?"
"I have one. Why should we sneak into the gnoll camp, other than not having to eat the gnome when the food runs out?"
Lord Flash snorts in laughter at this, quickly bringing it under control. It's the first time you've seen him show any kind of real emotion since the journey began.
"I agree with Tallis. This was clearly not in our job description when we were railroaded into accepting this job. Why should we help you do this?"