Reading each of Mr. Boomer's entries is like watching an impending train wreck.
Or perhaps rather like watching an army of Great Old Ones hover down to earth on impossibly-angled barbwired half-pipes doing 720s while riding skateboards made of infant body parts ...
... I'm horrified by the results but I can't look away! :D
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This is another villain that suffers from being introduced too early in his career (or at least, too early for this contest).
Right now Abzirael is learning what he does not know. Running errands for other villains allows him to do that plus gain minions of his own for later.
Once he has learned the lay of the land, then he can plan his plot. He should have a nice store of evil, powerful minions by that point. And an antipathy for the PCs, who probably have defeated and killed several of his "masters". Now that he is the master, the PCs are in for a terrible surprise.
Suddenly, isolated villains and villainous groups start acting inconjunction with each other. As the PCs start assembling clues, they start to see the outlines of a plan for enslaving all the world. When they finally beard Abzirael in his lair, they assume he is still just a minion.
Until he hits them with the complete fury of his might, concealed before, but now fully released.
THERE is your villain, sir.
Bwa-hahahahahahaha!
Oh, and when Eric says "you magnificent bastard" - that goes twice for me. Your writing is great and I wish I could do the same.
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This entry makes me cry.
If it was a half-fiend or half-dragon Ifrit dervish (the concept, not the PrC) or pyromancer (Sorcerer with lotsa fire spells), I'd be all over it. But psionics? Ew. A Djinn fire-specialist? Odd.
Alternately, if it was Djinn, having it be 'thunderstruck' and mad with the power of the storms (though half Blue / Bronze Dragon ancestry, or Druid levels) and just go on an insane tear through the land raising storms and causing havoc, again, neat. But mixing the air genie with the demon-blood and the fire psionics just makes my eye twitch. I like tight themes, and this one kinda wanders around.
Nice writing, 'though. He'd made one hell of a miniature!
Boomer,
You remind me of my writing partner, with his huge ego and equally deep well of talent. Sometimes I think it's the ego that allows such audacious writing from you both.
Keep it up, CB. This is goldy gold, gold-gold-golds! This is the kind of D&D I want to play!
Oh yeah, and I went back to your Crown of the Breaching Legion, which I didn't like at first: awesome. Sorry I ever doubted you. Cool item, great country, awesome villian.
Start writing modules...I'll pay you in dirty souls.
You know...
Guys with the Big Ego and strong online presences don't always go over well with me.
There could be irony in that statement.
And someone could say, "Who the heck cares?" But personality does play a factor here.
In any case, you're doing great Clinton. You're starting to convince me that you could do something really 'blow the top off' epic. You've got a sense of scope..
Take the advice you're getting from others. Continue to tighten up the areas where you're weakest.
You got my vote.
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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Boomer, I'm on the fence on this one. I love the basic concept, and the blend of mechanics (I certainly wouldn't have come up with that combo), but while the poem was evocative, I didn't get it entirely. I didn't get a sense of the actual history of this guy, and why a djinn would take fire powers - I certainly don't see it helping against their traditional enemies the efreet. I'm also more on the side of this being a great bad guy but I don't have anything to do with him from your entry, since we don't know his goals.
All that aside, this is a GREAT bad guy to use. Also, from reading other's comments, I get the feeling that most of the top 16 had a hard time detailing the plots and schemes of their villains, so you're still in the running for one of my votes.
I also didn't quite get the reference to Carnamach, sicne it wasn't really a desert/elemental forces setting. If you had made the djinn's master in the poem be the severed head god, THAT would have been cool.
A 30-foot alabaster djinn that is attempting to rebuild the world that he knew before being imprisoned for dozen of millenia? Awesome. I like that his seemingly random acts are part of plan to assemble forces for taking back the world. I also like the implication that he might attempt to recruit a party of PCs only to later turn against them.
One question, though, where does he live?
One question, though, where does he live?
Anywhere he wants.
Me likes, Boomer. Me likes.
I see this guy filling a role not unlike Xerxes in 300. Put him at teh head of a huge army; that's the ticket.
Chad
I see this guy filling a role not unlike Xerxes in 300. Put him at teh head of a huge army; that's the ticket.
Chad
This is Madness!
No! This... Is... SPARTA!!!
He has the feel of such a great villian. At the lower levels, the PCs are foiling a plan or two of his or seeing the carnage that he is causing. Later on, they realize that they must defeat him after he destroys an area that is their home.. And thus you have a campaign in the making. Of course, on the other hand, have him use the PCs as catspaws. Tricking them into doing his bidding. ~WEG~ Either way, there are lots of options.
Abzirael Ul-Shadai, the Cackling Whirling
In the World before the World that is,
Yha-El-Hial, Gleaming King of Wind & Sun,
contested mightily against
Surtu-Bal-Rashad, Horrid King of Flame & Sorrow.On the eve of Great Battle, Yha-El-Hial sent his most cunning vizier,
his silver-tongued mage Aishrak-Fazil Qurim, called ‘the Unlit Sky’,
to make counsel with the strange, coiling enemy of his enemy,
the whispered blasphemy called Lilit-Ram-Tha.In darkness, Fazil drank the secrets of the Efreet.
In darkness, Fazil breathed the weakness of his foes.
In darkness, Fazil paid the Serpent blood, water and life.
In darkness, Fazil escaped, and flew Victory to his King.And in darkness, Abzirael Ul-Shadai was brought forth,
born to end All the Worlds.These things, I also saw.
- Account of Ish-Horam the Select,
Fragment from the Testament of Seven Metal Mountains
This opener reached good writing and stretched for great. Unfortunately, it is millimeters and not miles to excellence. Poetry is darn tough to write. (I can't do it myself. Your first and third stanzas were good. The second and remaining ones, not so good. I felt like the poem struggled between forms, going for ballad then epic and then for repetition.
This is the third psionic character in this round. There is points up for making him an enormous djinni for sure. I like the description of the NPC. In the flavor text at the end you were really getting rolling, but then ran out of space! Overall fair and I will come back to reconsider further. Great ideas, neat stuff, not sure about execution. (He doesn't seem so...villainous.)
If it was a half-fiend or half-dragon Ifrit dervish (the concept, not the PrC) or pyromancer (Sorcerer with lotsa fire spells), I'd be all over it. But psionics? Ew. A Djinn fire-specialist? Odd.
Alternately, if it was Djinn, having it be 'thunderstruck' and mad with the power of the storms (though half Blue / Bronze Dragon ancestry, or Druid levels) and just go on an insane tear through the land raising storms and causing havoc, again, neat. But mixing the air genie with the demon-blood and the fire psionics just makes my eye twitch. I like tight themes, and this one kinda wanders around.
I'm rather on the same page as Set here. Also, to beat a dead horse, I would have liked considerably more on the Cackling Whirlwinds motivation.
That said, there's alot of cool here and I'm pretty sure it's got one of my votes.
Excellent writing, poetic descriptions, an all around fun villain with potential? I like it. For this one, I really would have wanted more hooks and motivations for the villain, but I think it easily shines in the top half of the field. What's next?
For some reason, I to saw Carnamach with a sandy grounds as well. Not to say its desert, but with white stone walls of almost ruined cities and sandy grounds that vines rose from, until its almost hard to tell that the lands around the towns were once not a forest of types. I like the idea of a creature that was found in their tombs, it adds to a country I really loved, but I am not sure it really fits.
However, I do love the villain. More to come once I have read the other entries.
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On to number 4. Long intro quote... too long? I like the spoiler tags on the stat block. Makes me want to read the rest first, and then come back for the numbers. Good choice... I hate numbers.
The wishes are a nice touch, but will the room for it be worth it. I still don't know what Ul-Shadai does for a living...
I miss the villain part of this one and the hooks you could have provided. Pretty much what Wulfgang posted. For me that could well mean you miss my vote.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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Prohibited as I am from responding to comments or participating in discussion, I would like, if I may, "to acknowledge feedback and to encourage people to vote for [my] submission."
As such: this entry has generated a lot of discussion, which pleases me immensely. The feedback thus far has been wonderful, and I would love to continue to hear from as many Paizo readers as possible.
I will seek to comment on design once I return from "A Very Boomer Christmas", starring The Boomer Family.
Also: please vote for me.
At first I was pretty sure you had my vote, Boomer. The imagery of Abzirael is very nice, I can see him walking the world and bringing general mayhem!
But now I'm in doubt for two reasons. First of all, the psionics, I'm not against it, but it's still a niche and one I don't feel adds that much special here that couldn't have been achieved in a more conventional manner.
Second, I don't feel he has a high persistancy factor. The most likely way players encounter him is on a service for somebody else, which gives a high chance of a one time cameo for out ancient menace. He is not the string pulling kind of villain for a whole campaign (sure, he'll scheme and twist the errands he is sent on, but no bigger picture seems present). That said, given he is also CR 16 means there is very little room to build up to encountering him (since he has no real minions).
Sorry Boomer, but right my vote for you hangs in the balance...
The big problem for me was that I didn't really get what was it that he wants to do. It is just one problem, but it is a big one.
This was the first entry I came to and was one of the two that I thought were the most memorable.
The flavour is excellent as other have noted. Personally, I wasn't too struck with the poem, but I'm not much of a poetry fan at the best of times, so there you go.
Your tactics section - including the explanation of his lack of use of some features was good. Abzirael is capable of tackling a variety of threats, which is good. (The only thing I noted was I couldn't see where gaseous form was coming from; you mentioned it in the tactics, but I couldn't find it in the stats block, though I might have just missed it.)
Using Carnamech was a nice touch too.
I could actually see this fitting into more than one of my campaigns without much work (which is a good thing); Abzirael might be a much more fun replacement villain for the Desert of Desolation series that I intend to covert to 3.5 eventually.
This definately gets my vote.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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But now I'm in doubt for two reasons. First of all, the psionics, I'm not against it, but it's still a niche and one I don't feel adds that much special here that couldn't have been achieved in a more conventional manner.
Second, I don't feel he has a high persistancy factor. The most likely way players encounter him is on a service for somebody else, which gives a high chance of a one time cameo for out ancient menace. He is not the string pulling kind of villain for a whole campaign (sure, he'll scheme and twist the errands he is sent on, but no bigger picture seems present). That said, given he is also CR 16 means there is very little room to build up to encountering him (since he has no real minions).
Sorry Boomer, but right my vote for you hangs in the balance...
. . . boy, oh boy, I sure would like to be able to respond to comments.
I mean, I'd give just about ANYTHING to respond to these comments, specifically. Especially if a vote hangs in the balance.
But I'm not gonna DQ myself by doing that. So, considering that I'm just acknowledging feedback and asking for more - anyone want to provide feedback?
Maybe someone ELSE would like to answer Wayland's questions?
PLEASE?
Lol. Oh man, I've seen so many finalists in your shoes... choking on their answers for fear of DQ. That must sting like a mutha.
. . . boy, oh boy, I sure would like to be able to respond to comments.
I mean, I'd give just about ANYTHING to respond to these comments, specifically. Especially if a vote hangs in the balance.
But I'm not gonna DQ myself by doing that. So, considering that I'm just acknowledging feedback and asking for more - anyone want to provide feedback?
Maybe someone ELSE would like to answer Wayland's questions?
PLEASE?
Alright Clinton. Perhaps this how we become acquainted. :)
<cracks knuckles>But now I'm in doubt for two reasons. First of all, the psionics, I'm not against it, but it's still a niche and one I don't feel adds that much special here that couldn't have been achieved in a more conventional manner.
No doubt, Wayland, he could have done it in a more conventional manner without the use of psionics. Does that make it wrong or bad though? Remember, these guys were given limits with what they could work with, just like an editor would give a writer. Can we really honestly hold the psionics against the submission in good conscience, just because of our taste. What happens when a writer gets an assignment that calls for psionics, reply to his editor, "Oh, I don't care for that stuff?" Basically if the contest rules give him that latitude, we need to take him at face value and not with our particular bias. Not that your taste isn't what's best for you as a buyer, I'm just referring to the judging perspective.
This is what I wrote for Joseph Y. who wrote "Voeren van Premie, Herald of Than Aivel" who has also gotten my vote:
But yes, this entry almost certainly does require psionics to be part of the campaign background.
Wolfgang had a similar concern I think. With the utmost respect to you and Wolf, I say that shouldn't matter.
Psionics are OGL? Then the conversation is over as far as I am concerned. There were no stipulations that someone couldn't make a psionic villain for a psionic campaign.
That's part and parcel with judging something on it's own merits. He wasn't restricted, so you can't hold it against him. Granted it might be damn harder to make anybody like a psionic villain over a villain that fits the evaluators standard way of thinking, but I think this guy pulled it off.
Right now, I'm of a kind of "stay within the rules" mind set. I didn't care for how some requirements were held to be of such paramount importance that other requirements were practically overlooked or skimmed at best. HOWEVER, that sword cuts both ways, and in this instance, it cuts in this contestants favor. If Psionics are OGL, it would be wrong to hold it against him just because it's psionics. Otherwise you've set him up to fail but not outlawing psionics to begin with.
Granted Mr. Contestant, I'm not sure I would try the psionics trick again next round, but you're getting my vote this time.
Second, I don't feel he has a high persistency factor. The most likely way players encounter him is on a service for somebody else, which gives a high chance of a one time cameo for out ancient menace. He is not the string pulling kind of villain for a whole campaign (sure, he'll scheme and twist the errands he is sent on, but no bigger picture seems present). That said, given he is also CR 16 means there is very little room to build up to encountering him (since he has no real minions).
I can sort of see where you're coming from, but let give you another perspective. Clinton has given us just the NPC, he hasn't given us a module or an AP featuring this NPC.. that is outside the bounds of the entry requirement. Abzirael Ul-Shadai is described as a manipulator and a string puller, but in this write-up he is newly released. Freshly loosed on the earth, and the GM is left to develop how he is making in-roads in corrupting this Brave New World. Some entries we've seen are just roaming loci for destruction, not really long term planners. I would argue that Abzirael Ul-Shadai is one such a mastermind, only Boomer has not necessarily fleshed out his plans for us. Only got 500 words Wayland... :D
Again, others have done so in their entries (described their 'webs').. but Boomer's guy is quite capable of string-pulling. Some of the entries have not been capable of that, and in fact are described as not interested in anything but their own peculiarities.
Maybe this helps? Hope so...
Maybe someone ELSE would like to answer Wayland's questions?PLEASE?
I'll take a stab at it!
But now I'm in doubt for two reasons. First of all, the psionics, I'm not against it, but it's still a niche and one I don't feel adds that much special here that couldn't have been achieved in a more conventional manner.
I don't like psionics, probably because the only players who ever seem to want them are munchkins. Still, I think this villain could be used in any campaign, be it one that includes psionics or no.
Because the Ul-Shadai's specific psionic abilities are not particularly complex (he is resistant to fire, he can set his hand on fire, he shoots fire and he can nimbus himself in fire) and all of the rules for that are included right there in stat-block, this really isn't "psionics". I looked up the prestige class, and it's all just: here are some superpowers. No need for a DM to otherwise include psychics at all.
Clinton found a flavory PrC (with some cool unique abilities) that had weird entry requirements: waste a feat, take some cross-class a few ranks in an obscure Knowledge, and now you can shoot fire. That I had never thought of using this class makes it good design.
And this guy is supposed to be eleventy-million years old; if he has a different understanding of reality than the PCs and totally weird powers, good. Make him the only psion in the whole universe! That's what I'll probably do.
Second, I don't feel he has a high persistancy factor. The most likely way players encounter him is on a service for somebody else, which gives a high chance of a one time cameo for out ancient menace.
I think that in the hands of a clever DM, he could be used and re-used: sinking ships, knocking over banks (maybe literally!), killing good-guy NPCs, always showing up at the worst possible time and then suddenly leaving.
The Ul-Shadai is crazy, right. If he's on a job for a new 'Master', he might ignore the PCs as they ineffectually try to stop him or even chat with them while he burns crops or steals casks full of gold and jewels from a treasury.
He could seem almost schizophrenic - stealing a priceless statue one day and returning it the next; burning down vessels of the Royal Navy for a while and then hunting pirate ships; the PCs would never know what he was really up to until all the little villains that he has collected start working for HIM.
The bigger picture: So, what is the Ul-Shadai after, in the end? Is it re-establishing his world-kingdom, or resurrecting his Mother, or finding the artifact of the Storm Scholar, or ... something else?
I'm happy that Clinton didn't say, because leaves it open for me to decide.
Boomer, didn't mean to make you fret about my comments, just presented my point of view. A lot of that is also a matter of playing style and expectations. For the most part the imagery you present is very vivid and speaks to me, but then personally I don't see much potential beyond a BBEG or once or twice encounter. Not really a villain.
Luckily (and rightfully probably!) others, like Laserray, do see that potential.
As it stands, I've only found two entries I really like better than yours, Voeren van Premie and Onuyaka, and I've read almosty all (expect for one or two). So a very good chance you'll end up with my vote (and no need to risk DQ for it).
I do hope you'll indulge a little discussion after voting (probably after later rounds to, as you'll still have deadlines to meet!)
Guess that it is always easier to criticize than to create (which kinda makes you wonder why people like Britney Spears are able to be successfull... Ok, I'm trailing off now...)
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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Boomer, didn't mean to make you fret about my comments, just presented my point of view.
All is well, my brother! Points of view of all kinds are MORE than welcome - but I do very much want to answer your very good questions.
A lot of that is also a matter of playing style and expectations. For the most part the imagery you present is very vivid and speaks to me, but then personally I don't see much potential beyond a BBEG or once or twice encounter. Not really a villain.
Luckily (and rightfully probably!) others, like Laserray, do see that potential.
I could kiss both Watcher and Laserray right on the lips.
As it stands, I've only found two entries I really like better than yours, Voeren van Premie and Onuyaka, and I've read almosty all (expect for one or two).
There's no shame in being beaten by the best.
So a very good chance you'll end up with my vote (and no need to risk DQ for it).
HOORAY!
I do hope you'll indulge a little discussion after voting (probably after later rounds to, as you'll still have deadlines to meet!)
Consider it done, my man. Consider it done.
Guess that it is always easier to criticize than to create (which kinda makes you wonder why people like Britney Spears are able to be successfull... Ok, I'm trailing off now...)
My guess has been that Lynne Spears, the mother of Britney & Jamie Lynn, made some very dark bargain (presumably seven souls every seven years, which I think is the standard) with something . . . unholy.
According to recent developments, my guess is that she hasn't paid up recently . . .
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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I could actually see this fitting into more than one of my campaigns without much work (which is a good thing); Abzirael might be a much more fun replacement villain for the Desert of Desolation series that I intend to covert to 3.5 eventually.
That's a hell of a good idea. I have been running a 3.5 Al-Qadim campaign and the current plotline (from the Caravans module) involves an efreeti as the final mastermind. I would like to run Desert of Desolation later, but have been ruminating over what to use in plaxce of Khalitharius, since I'd rather not repeat the 'evil efreeti overlord' bit, and this guy makes a very interesting prospect.
In fact, he even makes MORE sense as an opponent for the noble djinni trying to stop him. Not because he's an efreeti and he just racially hates him, but because he was essentially the Satan of the djinn race, imprisoned forever or so they thought, until suddenly he's loose and OMG what are we going to do now?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
As Hannibal of the A-Team used to say: "I love it when a plan comes together!"
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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The initial legend text is too long. The names are horribly distracting. -el, meaning "of God", is an ending that almost always denotes an angelic name, whether actual or fallen. Abzirael is neither.
CR should be 14. Neither elite stats nor size increase Large to Huge require a CR increase. From his origin and name I was expecting a much bigger number.
The stat block is unnecessarily wordy. It includes a lot of spells and abilities activated in combat in the base stats. In particular the spell description of unholy aura should not be recited in Special Qualities and, by the way, shouldn't be capitalised.
Despite his unspecified unclean appetites, this creature has few plots or motives of his own. He's at best a henchman, more likely a monster encounter.
This is unsound in concept and presentation. Not getting my vote.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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i hate eastern influence in dnd, but u always manage to make me like it.
p.s. i hated steampunk until i met you.
Hi, Dusty! Why, I never knew that you didn't like Eastern stuff . . . so I'm pleased to know that I've overcome your natural biases.
A pleasure as always!
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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... I would like to run Desert of Desolation later, but have been ruminating over what to use in plaxce of Khalitharius, since I'd rather not repeat the 'evil efreeti overlord' bit, and this guy makes a very interesting prospect.
I had actually never heard of 'Desert of Desolation' except in regards to the recent D&D minis expansion (remember, I got into gaming at about the time that Planescape came out, so I'm a punk kid), so I'm all kinds of excited that Paizo readers find my flavor usable.
Once voting closes and I'm allowed to do more than acknowledge & request feedback (MORE, PLEASE!), I'd love, love, LOVE to talk about adapting Ul-Shadai to various campaigns.
Rock and roll Christmas, everyone!
Notes: Larger than life genie/efreeti. Loved the poem A LOT, reminded me of Lord Dunsany. This guy seemed incredibly powerful, he used invisibility a lot but I kept thinking, he's so big it shouldn't matter you'll still hit him by accident. Over the top fits with Al-Qadim type setting. I even liked the name. Just not sure what he does and a little confused, sounds like he has multiple personalities evil-as-all-hell but sometimes courteous and likes to cuddle.
The initial legend text is too long. The names are horribly distracting. -el, meaning "of God", is an ending that almost always denotes an angelic name, whether actual or fallen. Abzirael is neither.
Is this really relevant except to a tiny handful of scholars who know these things? This is the other side of the coin on the arguments about Hetty having too normal a name. A name is a name, as long as it pronounces well and isn't blatantly offensive or a steal.
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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The initial legend text is too long. The names are horribly distracting. -el, meaning "of God", is an ending that almost always denotes an angelic name, whether actual or fallen. Abzirael is neither.Is this really relevant except to a tiny handful of scholars who know these things? This is the other side of the coin on the arguments about Hetty having too normal a name. A name is a name, as long as it pronounces well and isn't blatantly offensive or a steal.
I do appreciate being regarded as a scholar, but I have to demur. The -el syllable is really not that obscure a reference and follows on from Ul-Shadai, Yha-El-Hial, Surtu, Lilit and Ramtha in a big stew of semi-digested cultures and images. From my perspective, which again I really don't think is that rare, this is almost as bad as Saran in the last round.
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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I could have lived with the names. Boomer's work has amazing energy and he can write prose like nobody's business, but for me his stat block was a mess, the concept demanded that he crank the CR right up against the stops and beyond, not play safe at mid-levels, and I'm not convinced it's a villain. He's not showing me a feel for mechanics or depth of concept that I think should advance.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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I could have lived with the names. Boomer's work has amazing energy and he can write prose like nobody's business, but for me his stat block was a mess, the concept demanded that he crank the CR right up against the stops and beyond, not play safe at mid-levels, and I'm not convinced it's a villain. He's not showing me a feel for mechanics or depth of concept that I think should advance.
Respectfully, I would very, very much like to respond to your comments.
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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Respectfully, I would very, very much like to respond to your comments.
I hope you will!
The reason I've restated my earlier post was by no means to argue further against the entry, but just to respond to a possible implication that I voted against the form of the name, which was a minor consideration. I only posted that first to follow my earlier method of commenting on the opening lines of an entry, which I've found revealing.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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... I would like to run Desert of Desolation later, but have been ruminating over what to use in plaxce of Khalitharius, since I'd rather not repeat the 'evil efreeti overlord' bit, and this guy makes a very interesting prospect.I had actually never heard of 'Desert of Desolation' except in regards to the recent D&D minis expansion (remember, I got into gaming at about the time that Planescape came out, so I'm a punk kid), so I'm all kinds of excited that Paizo readers find my flavor usable.
Once voting closes and I'm allowed to do more than acknowledge & request feedback (MORE, PLEASE!), I'd love, love, LOVE to talk about adapting Ul-Shadai to various campaigns.
Rock and roll Christmas, everyone!
The 'Desert of Desolation' series of adventures (I'd call them 'modules' in my native grognard-speak) were written by Tracy Hickman (also coauthor of Dragonlance)... at least the first one but I think all three. It was originally 3 linked adventures (Pharaoh, Oasis of the White Palm, Lost Tomb of Martek) and later compiled as a super-adventure in the latter days of 1st Edition. Old-time gamers often rank them among the classics of adventuredom, if a step behind the uber-classics like the giants/drow series, Tomb of Horrors, etc. Good combination of wilderness, dungeon, and interaction with NPCs, plus all manner of devilish tricks and traps, set against an epic storyline.
It's good stuff for sure and worth checking out if you like the desert flavor.
... I would like to run Desert of Desolation later, but have been ruminating over what to use in plaxce of Khalitharius, since I'd rather not repeat the 'evil efreeti overlord' bit, and this guy makes a very interesting prospect.I had actually never heard of 'Desert of Desolation' except in regards to the recent D&D minis expansion (remember, I got into gaming at about the time that Planescape came out, so I'm a punk kid), so I'm all kinds of excited that Paizo readers find my flavor usable.
What Jason said.
When I was newly into RPGs, my Dad borrowed some modules from a friend at work for me to look over. Pharoah, the original module of the Desert of Desolation was one of them and it struck a chord in me and stuck in my head ever after (the other one was Inferno by Judge's Guild).
Player spoiler ahead:
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While Psionics aren't my cuppa tea, I still ended up considering the three psionic entries for my vote because they were evocative and I'm certainly not going to cast points off for using a section of the SRD I don't visit much.
It'd be a few minutes work to shave off the psionics stuff and make him a Sorcerer or Wizard (evocation specialist) with a bunch of fire spells. Same basic feel, and I'd have to do the same with any of these villains, removing or changing clases, levels, races, feat selection, etc. to better suit my own tastes or campaign needs.
Awesome, I love it!
I certainly would have liked to see more on Abzirael, but the opening poem *is* quite nice.
I love psionics, so that was fine with me.
My biggest criticism is simply that he has too much: personally, I would probably lose the rogue levels and the half-fiend template. I like me some good "crunch," but this seems a bit overdone.
[aside]
I love me some fiends, but I'm really starting to hate the half-fiend template. It's like saying that a creature can't be a total bastard without having an evil outsider for a parent. I hate the tendency to throw this template on villains. For me, it's richer for a djinn (or nymph or whatever) to be evil all on their own despite a lack of evil heritage. It too often seems like a scapegoat to me.
However, that's a personal issue I'm getting therapy for, and I won't hold it against you. ;D
In truth, it doesn't seem overly abused here, and I think you handle it well.
[/aside]
Great job! I think Abzirael's my favorite, and you most definitely have my vote.
I like it an evil normally good djinni using psionics with a twist. Thought it should have been a noble djinni but remembered we don't want TPKs so it gets one of my votes.
First of all, the psionics, I'm not against it, but it's still a niche and one I don't feel adds that much special here that couldn't have been achieved in a more conventional manner.
I think the use of psionics here is fairly artful. Others have commented, and I concur, that the "psionics" used by this villain are all pretty simple effects with intuitive uses that won't bog down a non-psionics game with needless new rules (no Ego Whip nonsense here). Also, I think that the effects and powers are cool and different (for those not familiar with the pyrokineticist suite of abilities), and keep with a tight theme without being as predictable as a list of arcane spell-like effects would be. Hand Afire and Nimbus are particularly cool.
Second, I don't feel he has a high persistancy factor. The most likely way players encounter him is on a service for somebody else, which gives a high chance of a one time cameo for out ancient menace. He is not the string pulling kind of villain for a whole campaign (sure, he'll scheme and twist the errands he is sent on, but no bigger picture seems present). That said, given he is also CR 16 means there is very little room to build up to encountering him (since he has no real minions).
Here I think the fault lies not with the entry (Boomer's entry, or anyone else's wonderful villain entry this round), but rather with the Round 3 assignment - which, as I understood it as an observer, was to design a villain and not an 'encounter'. I've seen similar comments and critiques in other threads, and maybe this is just something that would be the topic of "Round 3.5: spell out a few encounters with your villain for low level, mid level, and high level PCs." Because ultimately, true villainy comes from evil /in context/, not just straight-up capacity for mischief or destruction. Context requires a campaign, or at least an encounter description, which all of the entrants have been prohibited from providing.
That said, I personally can think of a zillion uses for Abzirael up and down the spectrum, and even for those who scratch their heads at his grandeur at first, it would only take a few sentences to rattle off a long and diverse bullet-point list of encounter ideas in any sourcebook or publishing in which Big A would appear.
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I mulled this one over and over in my mind before I voted. Ultimately I did give it my vote because it grabbed my attention and made me want to see what was deeper and behind that craftily placed spoiler button. As my experiences in gaming grow, I find that I may not always want to see a villian in play, but I do like to be able to look through the fourth wall and see them in a crystal moment of their lives. You took a HUGE chance by writing your poem (and really, everyone had some form of introduction, your's was just snappier). Take care in the next round to be true to your concept and chose wisely. I think you have what it takes to go all the way and I'd like to see you make good decisions with your words, you only get so many, use them well.
I had actually never heard of 'Desert of Desolation' except in regards to the recent D&D minis expansion (remember, I got into gaming at about the time that Planescape came out, so I'm a punk kid), so I'm all kinds of excited that Paizo readers find my flavor usable.
Boomer, you gotta check out that series of modules. They are, IMHO, the start of more modern adventure design.