Why, thank you Paizo! How did you ever know that, yes, it was really the secret desire of my heart to type three paragraphs and hit "submit," only to be logged out instead of seeing my post registered?
To reiterate that which has not been said:
I mentioned this to my dad, and unfortunately, it turns out that the government adoption agencies are just full of idiots. He said that when he and my mother were trying to adopt me, a girl working at the place told them that they were too old to adopt in Indiana (they were around 40). Crestfallen, they left, but my dad complained to a great many people about how ludicrous and unfair tha rule seemed. Luckily for him, he happened to bring it up in the presence of someone with some knowledge in this area, who told him that what she said was, in fact, bogus. They had every right to complete an adoption in Indiana. Furious, my parents stormed back into the office and demanded to proceed with the process.
So, unfortunately, you just have to proceed with the realization that you may be dealing with a total imbecile. I'd get that lawyer, and if you so choose, persue that media attention. We live in an age where anyone can access it, and such stories grab the public eye, if only briefly. Again, even posturing to take such a move will probably scare the idiots into compliance. No one wants that type of trouble.
Best of luck to you again, and kudos for choosing this option!
Being denied adoption because of roleplaying is ridiculous, but I'm going to play the devil's advocate here a little. Social workers are often suspicious jerks because they have to deal with jerks all day long, and they see some truly horrendous stuff on a regular basis. Same thing with cops. That makes them cynical to begin with, and since the life of a child is in their hands, plus their own future career if they slip up, they tend to be suspicious and sometimes even superstitious. Any ignorance about RPGs on their part is no different from the ignorance of most people about this subject, whether they're rocket scientists or plumbers. Since adoption is such a momentous decision, if there is any doubt about the adopters prudence dictates it is better to err on the side of caution.
Given that 'roleplaying' to the layman often has sexual connotations, and our culture's pervasive (and sometimes hysterical) fear of child abusers, the mistake may be unintentional. Make sure to explain in a rational, clear manner what D&D is about and what it is not about. Perhaps there were other factors at play in this case but the social worker couldn't pin them down and decided to focus on roleplaying as the culprit; make sure that all your 't's are crossed and that no other reasons for being denied exist.
Make sure to explain in a rational, clear manner what D&D is about and what it is not about. Perhaps there were other factors at play in this case but the social worker couldn't pin them down and decided to focus on roleplaying as the culprit; make sure that all your 't's are crossed and that no other reasons for being denied exist.
This was our approach. We explained calmly, clearly, with examples...each home visit, seven or eight of them in a row. Perhaps it was useful; we did get the home study signed after nine months of this. But it was awfully frustrating. None of the explanations seemed to stick. The social worker asked the same questions every time, and seemed equally baffled first to last.
We had this problem over a lot of things. I think the social worker may have been in a constant state of intense fatigue and overwork. When we got the draft of our home study it had a remarkable number of factual errors (clear-cut stuff like how many siblings I have, my job title, etc.) and we had to insist that it be revised.
I advise patience, but stubborn in-your-face patience, not the quiet kind. If you are quiet, they'll ignore you. We called once a week for six weeks prior to the final signing of our home study.
It's good that you have a private agency working with you, because if DSHS distrusts you, even a signed home study does not mean you will ever have a child placed with you. (We've been trying 14 months so far, though we've come close a few times.)
Mary
Have you considered hitting them with a discrimination suite? If they're staring a civil suit with more zero's than a bowl of Cheerios, they just might give over. After all, there's no proof that gaming is bad for anyone, and it is certainly less dangerous than sky-diving, skiing (water or snow), hunting, race car driving or any of a large number of other hobbies and entertainment pursuits people partake in. Just make sure you get the full name and job title of everybody you talk to on the issue at the agency. If you can, record their statements, otherwise make a written summary of each conversation (live or by phone) you have including date, time, etc. And here's the kicker...make extensive correspondence in writing. Use that whole "registered mail, return receipt requested" thing. Force them to help you document their position by making them put it in writing and have their actions documented by a neutral third party (US Post Office). Eventually someone who recognized the danger they are in will start taking steps to mitigate the issue. Just be patient, persistent and cover you keister with a cast iron chastity belt.
I'm not gonna say anything dealing with legal manners on this, cuz I'm just a teenager who could care less about (and knows nothing about) adoption laws.
However, this is the most horrible thing I've ever heard in relation to prejudice against gaming. Saying that you are not suitable parents because you play a fantasy role-playing game and making you either quit or send your child away while gaming is way over the top.
That's just sad. I hope that you are able to adopt a child and not have to give up gaming/send him away while you game.