The One Sentence Game!!


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Actually, time hadn't slowed down, it's just that nobody wanted to accept the horror, the sheer horror of the scene that the roaring steel left behind in its wake--the image was etched forever in the memory of the stunned onlookers: body parts and baby carriage barely distinguishable as if a horrible cybernetic experiment had gone terribly wrong--they glance and the last they saw of the iron death was a license plate reading WotC.

Scarab Sages

And seriously, has anyone ever known a cybernetic experiment to NOT go terribly wrong?


The the meat and carriage began to move.

Scarab Sages

It slowly picked up speed, but was soon moving like unto a runaway freight-train (or, if you're in Schmeberron, a "Lightening Rail").


Because, having just achieved life, this grotesque and twisted mockery of life really wanted a happy meal and an ice cream cone.

Scarab Sages

Meanwhile, over at the local McDonalds (store number 999), Demgorgon was arguing with himself over whether he wanted a #6 (the chicken sandwich, grilled or crispy), or a #9 (the ever classic and of questionable origin Chicken McNuggets).


And so when meat-baby rocketed into the golden armpits (#999) it was both stunned and surprised to look upon Demogorgon, but it didn't pause for long because it's tummy felt empty.

Liberty's Edge

"I WANTA happy meal; racoon mcnugglets and frinch frise, and I wanta have a large Romulan Ale;" demanded the starving enfent terible.

Scarab Sages

The "enfent terible" happens to be a child with the aberration and french subtypes.

Liberty's Edge

And...he insists....on warm milk.


Too bad the milkman never came.

Liberty's Edge

He was eaten by a bullette, which had mistaken his milk truck for a pony.

Scarab Sages

Afterward, the bulette was sh@%%ing milk and truck parts for a week straight!

Liberty's Edge

He was lactose intolerant.


The street sweepers union (Local 233) went on strike rather than clean up THAT mess.

Liberty's Edge

Everybody decided to try and milk the situation for all it was worth.


Weird Al wrote a song and there was a Live Aid concert for the distressed bulette.

Liberty's Edge

The song, "Gimme back my Bulette," was a polka version of a Lynyrd Skynard song.


Fab 5 Freddy and Cameo had a cameo in the video.

Liberty's Edge

They rode around in a Camaro with Fred Flinstone and five hot babes dressed as cavewomen.

Scarab Sages

Some guy dressed as Barney tried to crash the event, but they just laughed at his idiotic outfit.


Their ringleader, a high strung dalmation, decided to give the would be Children's show dinosaur a good drubbing and threw him to the ground, biting his velvety purple tail and beating him with a bag of snausages, but Barney kept his loving disposition and hugged the Dalmation, pledging his friendship in a queer, singsong voice.

Scarab Sages

The continued cheerfullness on the part of Barney so enraged the Dalmation that the canine summoned an aspect of Baphomet to slaughter the hated purple freak.


Sadly, even this proved futile as the smiling, purple beast raised both arms and charged Baphomet's aspect in an attempt to cuddle whilst " I love you. You love me." bellowed from it's drooling, toothy maw.

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But at the moment, the grim reaper realized he had not visited the denizens of the thread in many moons, and thus struck down the beast, killing it instantly.

Scarab Sages

Baphomet's aspect (whom some called Bob), thanked the Grim Reaper profusely, then teleported away with the corpse of Barney for use in various necromantic rituals.


Pleased with himself for a job well done, the Grim Reaper tossed his scythe up onto his shoulder and headed backstage in search of the craft-services table.

Scarab Sages

Meanwhile, on the other side of the multiverse, the actions of a well-meaning Lantern Archon inadvertently triggered a disaster of epic proportions.


Without warning, the skies darkened, the heavens rumbled, the lands shook, and all creatures meek and great gazed out in horror as an army of fiendish animated garden gnomes clawed its way up from the depths and began sowing fiendish rutabagas in horrificly fiendish (though smartly manicured) plots.

Scarab Sages

"Wow!" exclaimed Buffy the Chimera, "That is some really nice garden work!"

Liberty's Edge

"I agree," agreed her goat head; "me too," chimed in her platypus head.


The lemming head, however, was not so sure since, unbeknownst to the other heads, a secret, ancient rivalry existed between lemmings and garden gnomes, especially the animated rutabaga-inclined variety, which had once before led to an unholy alliance with Barney (R.I.P.) that nearly tore the very fabric of space and time itself!

Liberty's Edge

Barney's friends B.J. and Baby Bop were in on it too.


As was the kid from that seventies show who is named after that hat thing.

Liberty's Edge

What's a kutcher?


The voice whispering mad dreams into the mind of the insane echoes with undertones of a kutcher.

Liberty's Edge

A voice heard by a former Moonlighting private investigator.


Do bears bear?

Liberty's Edge

Or dogs dog?


The Private Dick pondered these questions as he stepped on a piece of gum while crossing the sun scorched road.


So why did the dick cross the road?


He had a meeting with a woman, he glanced at her business card and re-read her unusual name.

Liberty's Edge

"Ima Coffin?" he mused to himself, "wonder if she's consumptive."


At that moment, four young black men where crossing the road carrying a huge pink fish on their shoulders ( like a coffin ) -- the car traffic slowed for them as if this were a normal occurrence in this town.

Liberty's Edge

"Ere, ere; wot's this, then," he wondered aloud.


It was the dreaded albino thunnus albacares, the great pink tuna, the magical ingredient required to summon deceased pink reptilian children's show host's from the afterlife.

Liberty's Edge

In a forbidden grottoe, Barney twitched and stirred to unlife.


Chunks of rotting purple flesh sluffed away and entrails slithered from his bright green tummy.

Liberty's Edge

Fearful cynognathids, weasellike protomammals, scurried for cover as the purple lord rose from his sepulchre.


"It's easy," he said, "you just have to use your imagination!"--then he ripped Baby Bop's oversized head off and cast it down the steps before his sepulchre.

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