Rodan had to try something else. He
Put a sign saying "FREE SWARM-SEED"
which drove the swarms into a frenzy.
They ran towards the sign, oblivious to
the diesel-powered theremin hanging overhead by
a chain of plastic monkeys. The trap
was sprung and the swarms killed, but
the monkeys gained sentience. Now
that the WWE had overthrown the government
of Bolivia, Taco Tuesday was replaced by
Taco Tequila Tuesday. Those averse to Tequila
were not allowed to complain under penalty
of being forced to swallow The Worm.
Naturally, the Anti-Tequila Revolution began that
very day, right after lunch. This was
quickly followed by the Lunch Hour Revolution.
This meant that the Post-Supper Uprising
could regurgitate forward without issue. However, the
Midnight Snack Rebellion was an utter failure
due to the deployment of WWE SWAT
and it was past their bedtime. Now
everyone knows that SWAT members favorite snack
is man, but they also enjoy eating
frosted blueberry pop tarts soaked in the
tears of dragons, which are carefully cultivated
by the last remaining hippie in the
Zimbardo Prison Experiment's long-forgotten dark dungeons.
Also hidden in the ZPE's dungeon is
crystallized despair, which is sold as a
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deep-fried fairground snack at Trump rallies.
However, if added to pancakes it creates
the secret batter formula for McDonalds' Hotcakes.
Interestingly, the syrup used is made of
Essence of Curdled Tortoises, a substance which
even Chinese apothecaries consider dangerous and inhumane.
Its main ingredient can be found in
diesel engine runoff from Fred Koch's tomb.
The runoff ignited the shatter Union remnants
in a well-intentioned inferno. Now that
all I could see was blood, entrails,
as well as my friend Robert's disembodied
ass, floating haphazardly around and releasing noxious
Sharts, a wet version of the normally
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land-bound San Jose Sharks hockey team.
"I'm hiding in your closet" land lubber
McGee said to no one in particular.
a lasting diatribe all about his lesions
from the inferno. This would later become
the basis for all that is icky
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