Some of you may remember a certain infamous thread spawned from a diseased wit whose sole intention was to drum up shameless publicity for his so called “written work.”
I am of course referring to a “Death-Cage-Match something-or-other” supposedly concerned with an adjudication of the less weak of two “adventures” called Prit of Redhand (and why is his hand red, anyhoo?) and Hateful Lego-set.
We, the enlightened, of course did not take this putrid bait. Seeing through this transparent ploy of self-promotion, most of us chose to ignore this vulgar thread and continue our spirited discussion of our favorite magazine elsewhere.
I dredge up this unsavory business for one reason: To assure all you good readers that this thread you now read is far more elevated in its purpose. There will be no “trash talking” here, and no attempts at procuring favorable advertisements from friends, families, countrymen or fans. Instead think on this thread as a solemn place from which we may objectively view two adventures in the upcoming issue #141 of our reverent Dungeon magazine.
As some of you may have guessed I am referring to “Swords of Dragonslake” an extraordinary twist-filled noir thriller of murder, vengeance and drama (which by the way doubles as a sharp indictment of the political corruption and decay of the arts now undermining our great society), and of course the latest banal parade of bland NPCs, moldy plot cliches, and grammar malfunctions that limey drone Rikard Prett banged out on his keyboard. I can’t remember the adventure’s name. Somebody who pays attention to the drivel Prett spills on our beloved magazine’s pages can no doubt fill us in.
Remember folks, there’ll be no unkind words, mud slinging, bipartisan slants or unconstructive criticism of any kind tolerated here…especially not from imperial oppressors. Remember we didn’t throw off our colonial yoke to see the pages of our favorite magazine (printed 100% in the U.S. of A., need I remind you all) once again besieged by redcoats. Two if by sea, my fellow minute men. Two lanterns, hold em high and let’s show this stiff English Prett our adventure writers are made of sterner stuff.
And keep it clean folks. Let’s not see this thread devolve into base name-calling, and rude remarks about syntax. Let’s judge these adventures on their merits alone and do so fairly…of course we’ll have to keep in mind that the noteworthy sections of Prett’s “adventure” no doubt prove so due to taxing feats of editorial genius on behalf of James Jacobs, Jeremy Walker, and James Sutter. God Bless those American wizards of word who turn Prett’s dribbling mire of “narrative” into something we can enjoy. Well done gentlemen.
Now…without further ado, and note all, with no low blows toward my esteemed colleague Rikard, let the discussion commence. I can only hope he resists his own base urges to attack…though given his country’s history of empire building and total disregard for other nation’s sovereignty, I don’t hold on to too many illusions. Just remember who cast the first stone everyone.
Now let the hoot-a-nannie begin!!! WOOO-HAAAA! LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!
C’MON PRETT!!! SHOW ME WHAT YOU’RE MADE OF!
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...and Hateful Lego-set.
Mere words cannot express my pride at having coined that... *sniff*.
This should be an arb-solutely farcinating contest to watch! I must say, young Master Logue, you were showing good maturing form in this past month's "The Bullywug Gambit". Although, you have to start using a little more restraint and stop trying to slip in the Ninja Turtle references... The bullywug weilding a quarterstaff named Donatello is a wee bit transparent. And leaping into battle croaking "Wuggy Power" and "Croak-a-bunga!"? Well, there are parts that won't be finding their way into MY campaign. But high marks, nonetheless... James even mentioned that your final draft was also completely without stains from Ovaltine and that you colored in the lines on your maps! Excellent show!!
Now as to the work of this Mr. Potts(?), I belive you said his name was? Remember, be nice and show courtesy to him... he is a literary guest on our bright shores and we need to show him hospitality. The fact that he was able to find a way to translate his drafts into legible vernacular instead of that proasaic assemblage of "Wot's all this, then?" and "Whoops, your auntie!" and "Bob's yer Kuntz" that I've heard is so typically lobs off at us is commendable. That he was able to find what I belive passes for paper and not using tanned hides with scribbles of plant pigments from a twig stylus speaks volumes to his ingenuity.
All said, should be an interesting match to watch! As with any blood sport, the ultimate winners are the viewers.
One vote for me!
Thanks Gav!
So it begins...
uhm, that was a long post, I read it twice and am still not sure what the discussion is about.
uhm, that was a long post, I read it twice and am still not sure what the discussion is about.
This might help you, Valegrim.
TK
I don't know where to go on this one my father is american, my wife is british. And I live in Canada. So since I am neutral on the nationality thing. I will view both carefully and make my decision soon....
You must be newly married if that is a hard choice... always go with the wife...
Sean Mahoney
uhm, that was a long post, I read it twice and am still not sure what the discussion is about.
Another vote for "Swords of Dragonslake."
Well done Vale!
By my count its 2 to 0 so far.
I don't know where to go on this one my father is american, my wife is british. And I live in Canada. So since I am neutral on the nationality thing. I will view both carefully and make my decision soon....You must be newly married if that is a hard choice... always go with the wife...
Sean Mahoney
Good advice!
Wait! British!!! Forget I said that!
How can you betray your father like that!!!
Go Team America!
Nick
Well, I'm an American. And Hawai'i is pretty awesome (Thank you Mr. Logue for appeasing Camazotz over there). So you can count on me to support my troops. And, er, authors.
TK
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I was won over by Pett's stance on Iraq, renewable resources, and world affairs. I really don't know much about Mr. Loggie's stance on these important issues, so until someone hacks up a good list of campaign promises I will have to stay firmly in Good Mr. Pett's corner. Or cash, cash will work too.
Pet me, I'm with Pett!
FH(loyal support of Petting)
...until someone hacks up a good list of campaign promises ...
* Fair loot for all
* Tax breaks... er bonus XP for the PCs (be they rich or poor)* No kobold left behind.
* And most importantly... no rust monsters!
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...until someone hacks up a good list of campaign promises ...* Fair loot for all
* Tax breaks... er bonus XP for the PCs (be they rich or poor)
* No kobold left behind.* And most importantly... no rust monsters!
The sad, sad truth is, they are outlawing domestic rust monsters, but that's only because of a consortium that is wanting to gate in Rust Dragons from Acheron.
I was won over by Pett's stance on Iraq, renewable resources, and world affairs. I really don't know much about Mr. Loggie's stance on these important issues, so until someone hacks up a good list of campaign promises I will have to stay firmly in Good Mr. Pett's corner. Or cash, cash will work too.
Pet me, I'm with Pett!FH(loyal support of Petting)
Another one for me...er...damnit! One for Pett, well I guess a blowout would be too too cruel.
Well, I'm an American. And Hawai'i is pretty awesome (Thank you Mr. Logue for appeasing Camazotz over there). So you can count on me to support my troops. And, er, authors.
TK
Camazotz is a tough customer, but I do what I can.
And...
Another one for me!!!
That brings the score to 28 - 1 by my tally.
Wow, Pett, you must really not care at all about your fans to remain absent. That or you're just quaking in your British booties!
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And I just want to address the ludicrous notion that a vote for Pett is a vote against the U.S.A.
A lot of great things come from the U. K.:
The Sex Pistols, Monty Python, Iron Maiden, The Beatles, The Supernanny, Elizabeth Hurley, the computer, the Young Ones, Ab Fab, and of course the legendary Richard Pett.
So going to an Iron Maiden concert is unamerican? Sheesh!!
Okay. Cliff Richards is British. I don't know who he is, but they made fun of him on the Young Ones and in my Cyberpunk U. K. Rough Guide. You can't win them all.
But a lot of great things come from the U. K. Like Arthur Treacher's Fish n' Chips.
So, here's a Real American voting for Richard Pett.
God save the queen. Thankyou.
p.s. that Footballers' Wives show shows promise.
Heath...
...you traitor...
...it hurts...
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A lot of great things come from the U. K.:
The Sex Pistols, Monty Python, Iron Maiden, The Beatles, The Supernanny, Elizabeth Hurley, the computer, the Young Ones, Ab Fab, and of course the legendary Richard Pett.
You forgot H. Rider Haggard, H.G. Wells, and Edmund BlackAdder.
Victoria Va- um, I mean, Regina!
Where is Pett?
Prett's a fellow Brit?
Then he gets my vote, all the way.
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Speaking as a Brit, I will obviously stand alongside my fellow countryman against the savage hordes as they rebel against the only truly civilising force in the world. It's like Rorke's Drift all over again - the thin red line repulsing the revolting barbarians. The florid, bloated rhetoric of the original post cannot disguise a philosophically moribund premise based upon ignorance and envy.
As for the whereabouts of Mr Pett, doubtless he has decided to rise above the petty jealousies of his less talented rivals and is maintaining a dignified silence. Though, I admit, that would be out of character.
I believe Mr. Pett is too busy writing more Styes material to sate his insatiable fans. Styes boxed set anyone? Oh, and I forgot to register to vote this year, so I have to sit this one out :\
An issue has arose that I must immediately address!
I would like to clarify here and now that when I use the terms "Britian" "England" "Jolly Jolly O Good Show Chap Land" or any derivation thereof, I am merely referring to the small patch of dreary earth inhabited by one Rikard Prett, and not to the glorious nation of England. England is a place of astounding wonder with a time-honoured (note my Queen's English spelling here) cultural heritage (which is something nobody can say about this whiny little country we live in here). Britain's contributions to the modern world order are too many to count (though Cliff Richards...AND Keith Richards are among them). As an actor and teacher of theatre with a particular fondness for the Bard (captiol B, THE Bard, Shakespeare himself), I don't think it is at all fair to equate my earlier posts with England-bashing. Think of it as disgust enough to fill a whole nation, but directed at one sneering simpleton of a man named Rikard Prett, whose excellent...er, I mean awful!...adventures drive me crazy with jealousy...er, rage!
To the rest of you Englishmen, I beseech you, in the interest of objectivity, fair play, and the serious contemplation of these upcoming adventures - set your admirable patriotism aside. After all "Swords of Dragonslake" takes more than a few humble bows to Shakespeare and his contemporaries, and is inspired by the excellent tradition of the Elizabethan playwrights (your glory days folks).
Besides, casting your vote for Prett now just means you have to eat your words, and crawl back hat in hand when the adventures actually come out, and the obvious superiority of "Swords" makes you regret your hasty flag-waving.
God for Harry, England and Saint George!!!
Where is Prett?
Prett wishes me to inform you that he is "between ISP addresses" or some other miss-nancy excuse for not yet joining our little party here. I received an email communique from him last evening...
...but it's not like we are orchestrating this whole charade...I mean discussion!...for the sole purpose of drumming up a riotous fanfare of publicity for our upcoming adventures. NO SIR! Banish such thoughts from your minds. We hates each other and would never converese in cordial fashion over emails, or ponder teaming up for future projects...NEVAR!
Anyhoo, Prett is detained...he'll be along shortly, and then the real fireworks can begin!!!
"Swords of Dragonslake."
Shouldn't the gramatically correct form be "Swords of Dragonslaking"? And how, exactly, does one slake a dragon?
This is just too confusing for me, so my vote goes to the Pett.
Damn your grammar jamboree sir (or madam as the case may be)!
All will be explained in due time...when you read my masterpiece, realize your error in casting your vote for Prett, and beg me to allow you to join the fold of fans for "Dragonslaking"...er..."DRAGONSLAKE!" Damnit!
*ping*
I knew you'd come around Heath!
One ping to verify Dragonslake support...one ping only!
That brings the headcount to 65 Logue and 2 Prett.
*pong*
Being a loyal subject of Her Majesty's Grand & Frozen Dominions in North America I will, of course, without the slightest hesitation vote for the American.
...as long as those boourish uncultured fiends (whose tv shows we dearly love) to the South of us swear to spell all their wourds with 'u's in them. No colourful death without dishonour!
Being a loyal subject of Her Majesty's Grand & Frozen Dominions in North America I will, of course, without the slightest hesitation vote for the American.
...as long as those boourish uncultured fiends (whose tv shows we dearly love) to the South of us swear to spell all their wourds with 'u's in them. No colourful death without dishonour!
Oukay, but thaut wiull loouk awfully funny.
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Being a loyal subject of Her Majesty's Grand & Frozen Dominions in North America I will, of course, without the slightest hesitation vote for the American.
...as long as those boourish uncultured fiends (whose tv shows we dearly love) to the South of us swear to spell all their wourds with 'u's in them. No colourful death without dishonour!
Can you say, "home?"
*pong*
Yes! Another vote for Dragonslake!!!
Thanks GGG!!! I knew you'd take my side.
*dung*
Yes!!! Another vote for...hey, wait a minute...
Personally, I think that Prett is Logue's poodle.
I also appreciate that in the grand tradition of US politics, we're taking a vote before most people have had a chance to educate themselves (perhaps by, I don't know, reading the issue in question?)
That's my two shill... er, I mean cents.
El Skootro
Personally, I think that Prett is Logue's poodle.
I also appreciate that in the grand tradition of US politics, we're taking a vote before most people have had a chance to educate themselves (perhaps by, I don't know, reading the issue in question?)
That's my two shill... er, I mean cents.
El Skootro
And really what are facts to an electorate? Just so much topical informantion that doesn't do anyone any good because it is so dry and bland that no one reads it. Nick I think has shown that he has a great amount of stage presence -when Rich doesn't have access to the internet.
;)
GGG
Personally, I think that Prett is Logue's poodle.
I also appreciate that in the grand tradition of US politics, we're taking a vote before most people have had a chance to educate themselves (perhaps by, I don't know, reading the issue in question?)
That's my two shill... er, I mean cents.
El Skootro
To be honest it matters not at all what everyone votes as I have instituted a new automated ballot counting system that is 100% just, infalible, and owned in totality by my political party. Let the election fraud begin!!!
Oh wait, it began a long time ago...my bad.
;-)