matt_the_dm's page

307 posts (334 including aliases). No reviews. No lists. No wishlists. 3 aliases.


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Fela Kuti and Ginger Baker

This is what happens after James Brown rolls through Africa.

Primus- Green Naugahyde has occupied my ears a lot for the past week. I can't stop listening to it.

Queen II is the bomb.

I think his real name is spectacular. It also fascinates me that he's from Zanzibar. I always thought Zanzibar was a mid-90's GI Joe villain. I didn't know it was a real place.

On another note...I used to have a manager back in my fast-food days and she looked just like Freddie until you got about 2 feet from her and saw it was a woman.

John Zorn's Moonchild

This album is a difficult listen. I had to take a break the first time through in order to fully appreciate all of it.

Around the three minute mark of this song, it really begins to set my teeth on edge by the combination of sounds and gibberish and odd beats. Mike Patton is genius and Zorn's ability to conduct his performers is incredible.

They Might Be Giants- Istanbul Not Constantinople
Fishbone- Freddie's Dead
John Coltrane- My Favorite Things
Colonel Les Claypool's Fearless Flying Frog Brigade- Animals (entire Pink Floyd album)
The Flaming Lips and Stardeath and White Dwarfs with Henry Rollins and Peaches- Dark Side of the Moon (entire Pink Floyd album)

matt_the_dm wrote:
Hey Alex are you still around here?


1) No.

2) Sadly, I will have to stop. That's too bad, because I like Paizo products. A lot.

3) That depends on which ruleset the products support. I have enough 3.0/3.5 material to keep me busy for a long time, but any continued Paizo support of the system will have my backing.


Hey Alex are you still around here?

This shipment arrived at my post office on Friday.

And I must say, U2 has to be the creepiest module I've seen in a long time!

Thanks Cos,


I received an email on Friday, January 25 for Order #875885 that

"is expected to ship from the Paizo warehouse by Tuesday, January 29 via USPS Package Service, estimated 3 to 10 business days in transit."

I have received nothing yet and on my account page it says that my sidecart contains Pathfinder #6, Gamemastery U1 and U2, and that they are awaiting the next Pathfinder Player's Guide. Given that my post office has bungled my Pathfinder once already, I'm worried about this order. Has it shipped to me yet? Is it waiting like my sidecart says? Did the Post Office return it again?

Any insight from Pazio would be appreciated.


On the first link to the thread this one and the Gor-Gore STAP character journal both show up as posted by matt_the_dm but then once you go to the actual thread, it shows them posted by Grazzel.

Vic Wertz wrote:
matt_the_dm wrote:
Grazzel One-Ear wrote:
test one
How come these show up as me and not my alias on the first message board pages?
I'm not clear on what you're seeing. Can you explain?

Grazzel One-Ear wrote:
test one

How come these show up as me and not my alias on the first message board pages?

Could someone please respond to the email I sent on January 7 regarding my subscription accounts?

Thank you


Somethings still not right. I got Pathfinder #3 in the mail last week, but I still haven't gotten #2 or any Gamemastery modules. Help? I sent an email to customer service a few days ago but I haven't heard anything yet.


Thanks Cosmo!

Cosmo wrote:


It appears that your order for Pf#2 that had the expired card did not re-process as it should have when you fixed it. I have just manually re-processed the order and we'll get it shipped out (with your D2) as soon as possible. I apologize for the delay.


Hi all.

I had an expired CC for my Pathfinder subscription. I fixed that. I had two different shipping addresses for Pathfinder and Gamemastery. I fixed that. My subscription page shows that my Gamemastery module J1 is waiting on Pathfinder #3. It also shows the last shipped Pathfinder was #1. I never got #2. My sidecart when I sign in shows that D2 is waiting to ship also. It doesn't mention what it's waiting for.


I think I need Pathfinder #2 and module D2 for this month and then Pathfinder #3 and module J1 for next month right? I have D0, D1, and W1; and Pathfinder #1.


James Jacobs wrote:
I'm not gonna worry too much about a rogue comma.

I don't know...a rogue comma sounds pretty dangerous. Much more dangerous than say, a rouge rogue, or a commoner comma.

But then neither can match the deadliness of a kama-wielding monk comma.


I got 142 in the mail last Friday, but I never got a copy of 141. I think it got lost in my address shuffle last month. Can I please have a replacement copy?


Let me just mention mc chris. He drops quite a few D&D references in his white-nerd rap.


Vic Wertz wrote:
Changing your address in the subscription section of our website accomplishes everything you want to do. I've removed your address from the above post for privacy reasons.

Cool. Thanks, Vic! Now that stalker can't find me so easily...

My friends Tom and Ruth, who I gave s gift sub to Dragon to, have also moved. I don't know if either of them have created an account on here to change their address yet.

Their new address is:

[Tom and Ruth Weidemeyer
803 North Mulberry Street
Mount Vernon, Ohio

(address hidden by Vic)

Thanks again.

Paizo rules!


I just want to post this on here to make sure I keep getting my mags. I will be moving again even though I just moved. I now have a post office box, and I changed the shipping address in the subscription section, plus I sent an email to customer service, but I'm a squeaky wheel so here I go again...

My new address is:

[Matt Iams
PO Box 344
Mount Vernon, Ohio

(address hidden by Vic)

I still haven't gotten a copy of Dungeon 141 yet. I see it's been out for almost two weeks now. I'm hoping that mine just got lost and will find me, but I might be in need of a replacement issue...This week's shipment of Dragon ought to find me okay, since I haven't moved again yet. It's too early to tell though.


Gogol Bordello- Gypsy Punks

Ukranian Gypsy music meets punk rock meets dub reggae. Holy crap what a good mix!

The Decemberists- The Crane Wife

Kudos to whoever posted about the Decemberists. I picked this up solely on name recognition. Amazing band.

Bo Diddley- Best of

He's so underrated.

Daigle wrote:
matt_the_dm wrote:
Heathansson wrote:
Hey, everybody. Gavgoyle's new nickname is Chim Chim!

Chim Chim's Badass Theory of Religiosity.

If you try, you will catch on.

I love you matt!

Languages on fire that are launched, start here. The warning of the word goes out to all the above all the below and all who have been cast aside. For everyone who is re-energized, criticized or disguised. From the roof of the powerhouses to the ground floor of your soul. To all who can fathom a subsidiary atmosphere and to all who can listen to the sound of cyber-fear. Chim Chim's Badass Revenge...equals the imaginative mind that enables us to resist the strategies of containment brought on to us by political thunder whores from on high
It's the coming of the digital freak swing vs. ape kills master. If you try you will catch on...
Inhospitable cellular chain gangs and the slaves speak of consumerism. And in the monsters of plastic that await behind the hidden corners of the new hype.
Chim Chim's Badass Revenge...
The surrender of our dignities and the disintegrate of the Whammo Frisbee within us all are the side effects of the emerging techno psychology. The push-button landscape of the coming millennia and it intellectual discriminations can't be avoided, they can only be down-graded, repudiated and
athroplacentrically renovated. The history distorting legislative heartbeat of the coming century aligns itself with weakness and over indulgence.
Chim Chim's Badass Revenge suggests that you structure your acceptance of the frequencies according to hope and man and a kick ass outlook.
If you try you will catch on.
The reinvention accelerates from this point for it is with these words and the spirit of Chim Chim's Badass theory of religiosity that we bring you the only antidote that humanity will ever know...

What a geat album. I wondered if anyone would catch that reference.

Heathansson wrote:
Hey, everybody. Gavgoyle's new nickname is Chim Chim!

Chim Chim's Badass Theory of Religiosity.

If you try, you will catch on.

Fake Healer wrote:

Lesson #1- People Suck.
You should jump into a game with new people as a player and see where that leads. Take a break from DMing and just enjohy playing. Screw them. They wanna act like children then you don't need them. The one who e-mailed you at least had a little bit of respect but the other 2 were just plain jerks. They should never be allowed to game with you again. Sorry for your loss. I feel your pain.

Well, they were the old half of my group. The new half is still playing and possibly oen of them will be DMing too. It was time for some new blood, I just wasn't expecting it to come from a successful backstabbing roll. Oh wait, that's old school 2E talking...

My players have p***ed me off. 3 of them just quit on me. They all knew that each other were quitting, they had a little pow-wow about quitting, but none of them had the balls to actually tell me anything or to even let me know about the disatisfaction. One of them sent me an email a few days before the game listing his reasons and complaints and saying he was going to quit. The other two just didn't show. I found out through the grapevine that they were pulling a no-show and then had to ask if they were quitting too.

We're all adults here for Pelor's sake, grow some friggin stones and learn how to communicate rather than whine and pout amongst ourselves and let petty crap ruin the game.

Thanks for nothing. I've spent the last 7 years of my life hosting you f**ks at my house, feeding you, cleaning up after you, AND running the game and this is the thanks I get?

Moonday, Planting 17 CY 595

While Donal occupies himself tending to Todrik, the rest of the group; Thamior, Schade, Uiyus, Renard-Crott, and X; head over to Lazare's House for dinner. Lazare welcomes them and introduce his daughter Dannath, who serves them dinner and makes googly eyes at Constable X. Lazare introduces Renard-Crott to Chaum Gansworth, and the two of them play a friendly match of dragonchess. During the match, Gansworth asks Renard to have his friends meet in one of Lazare's private rooms. After the match, the PC's spend a few hours drinking and socializing until they are told by Dannath that the private room is ready for them. In the back, they are met by Chaum Gansworth and Luzanne Perrin who tell the PC's that they are intrigued by the setbacks they've given Smenk and offer an alliance against him. They tell the group that they suspect Smenk and the mayor are involved in a conspiracy to frame the other mine managers. They suspect one of the working girls at the Midnight Salute as being a spy working for either Smenk or the mayor, and offer the PC's a deal in discounted weapons and gear if they can find proof. The group agrees to see what they can turn up.

While leaving Lazare's, Thamior is hailed by 4 of the elves working for Moonmeadow. The elves tell Thamior that none of the human mine managers can be trusted, and to be wary of any deals that he makes with them.

Renard-Crott goes out at night for a quick reconnoiter of the mayor's house, casing it for a possible break-in to find evidence of the plot he just heard about.

Back at the Able-Carter, the others begin to discuss plans while wating for Renard to return. Todrik again tries to escape while the PC's are in the other room plotting. This time, he escapes from the manacles, and runs out into the hallway. The arguing PC's hear Todrik's escape and rush out into the hall where they quickly take him out. Schade neatly drops him with a stunning attack, and Uiyus then kills him with a messy coup-de-grace.

After killing Todrik, Donal goes over to the Feral Dog to do a little perfoming and listening for tales about the Mayor.

Epix, Schade, and Uiyus have an after-killing nightcap at the taproom of the Able-Carter, while X and Thamior dispose of Todrik's body by dumping it in the garbage heap behind the Feral Dog. After the dumping, the two of them hide across the alley and wait to see if any body-snatchers show up.

Godsday, Planting 18 CY595

After spending the night arguing about which lead to follow up on, the group wakes with a plan to assault the observatory and take care of Filge.

Just after eating lunch, Donal, X, Thamior, Schade, Epix, Uiyus, and Renard head over to the old observatory. Renard uses his grappling hook to ascend the second-floor windows while the others break in through the front door. A mighty blow from Epix and Schade sends the front door off its hinges and alerts the skeletons on the other side. A short battle ensues and the group winds out over the 4 skeletal guards. Renard lets himself into Filge's bedroom and hears Filge's off-key crooning wafting down from above. Unfortunately, Filge's pet owl sees Renard coming in and flies up to Filge, screeching in alarm. While Renard is deciding how to deal with the screeching owl, the others downstairs find themselves in a short hall with several doors. Each door holds a room with a pair of skeletal warriors that are easily defeated, but not before one of the poisons Uyius with the goo smeared on his sword. Behind doo number 5, the group is greeted by the gruesome sight of Filge's dining party. Nine zombies sit unmoving around the table. As Schade advances and attacks one of the zombies, she hears a growling sound and sees two pairs of red eyes under the table, just before two vaguely dog/rat beats jump out to attack. The two carcass eaters prove to be a minor annoyance to the party, who are ready for anything.

While the party downstairs fights the carcass eaters and destroy the zombies, Filge is upstairs casting his defensive spells and moving into position to fight the intruders. Caught in the middle in Filge's bedroom, Renard takes the opportunity for a little snooping aroud. He finds Filge's taste in clothes and decor to be morbid, Filge's taste in statuary to be indulgent, but his taste in loot is exquisite. Renard finds a fine magic-looking pair of spectacles on a mummified goblin, and some potion-looking vials and a spellbook hidden (!) under a pile of notes on Filge's desk.

While the group in the dining room finishes the zombies, Epix wanders into the pantry and finds a dire maggot. He kills the maggot, but it explodes all over him in a burst of smelly bile and filth. Then they head up to find Renard and continue up to Filge's lab.

What they find is horrifying. Filge is waiting for them, attended by a pair of skeletons. Hiding behind him, holding on to his robes, is what appears to be a pale-corpselike girl. When he sees the party begin to come up the stairs, he casts forth a thick cloud and commands his children to attack. From their liquid filled cocoons, four ravenous troglodyte zombies burst forth to attack anyone not affected by Filge's cloud of bewilderment. A long battle with Filge and his undead minions ends with not only Filge dead, but also Thamior. He was killed by the jaws of a ravenous troglodyte zombie.

DM Stuff

Epic battle with Filge. The tide of battle swung both ways several times during the fight. Most of the melee hitters were affected by the cloud of bewilderment spell for the first half of the fight. The creepy little girl was a slaymate. I've posted above a link to the changes I made to this encounter. They were a hit! :P

Oh, the irony of dying on Godsday...does this mean another roll on the bad luck chart?

And now I'm only 4 sessions behind!

I learned that someone broke into my ex-wife's car and stole her stereo. Someone also threw eggs at her new boyfriend's car while it was parked at (my) house.

Good thing I was running some Age of Worms and have 7 good alibies.

Good thing that my ex is such a shining example of parenthood that she told my kids it was probably me who did the vandalism. What a kobold-sucking, lich-loving harpy.


Gwydion wrote:
blah blah blah...slacking at work...

Get back to work you slacker! Aren't there some injured folk needing your help?

Charlie Daniels Band- Best of
Donovan- Caravan
Motorhead- Ace of Spades
Gwar- Live from Mount Fuji
some bootleg from Amon Tobin
live Primus bootlegs from Columbus and Cleveland
Tool- 10,000 Days
The Stooges first album remasterd on CD
T-Rex- Electric Warrior
Sonic Youth- Rather Ripped
Thelonious Monk- Straight, No Chaser
Misfits meet the Nutley Brass- Fiend Club Lounge
Brian Setzer- Tribute to Sun Records Rockabilly

I've been spending too much time at Best Buy lately...

Has anyone ever used the half-monster templates from 313? The one in particular I wonder about is the half-minotaur. The template is given only a +1 LA, which seems pretty low to me. Applying the template to a medium creature changes its size to large, granting size bonuses to stats which stack with the bonuses given by the template, resulting in a +12 to strength. Granted, there is an intelligence penalty, but the penalties don't come close to the bonuses IMHO. One of my players is wanting to run a half-minotaur/ half-human barbarian. At first I ok'ed this, but after making up his character I am having second thoughts. I'll let it slide for a while and see how his character plays in relation to the rest of the party, but I think that the LA for the template is broken.

I'm in the "stock up on a week's worth of rations" camp. However, when there is a PC with Survival, they often will go on hunting/gathering forays for extra goodies. I've also had players cook and eat their kills...usually animal kills, but some of the monstrous races I've had in the group have eaten fallen foes.

I once ran a game set in a desert wasteland where food and water was scarce. The party started out with a few pack donkeys, but ended up killing and eating them when their rations ran out and then the nearly starved to death until they ran into a band of marauding kobolds. Like the barbarian in the group said...kobold tastes just like chicken...

Saern wrote:
Should I be glad that I have no idea what you're talking about?

Yes you should be. I had to scour both my eyes and my brain after seeing what I saw.

Evilturnip wrote:

What's the D&D equivalent of redirecting to goatse?

Tub Troll?

Holy crap that's funny. Maybe the tub troll in question has a brown pudding nearby?

Peeping Tom

Mike Patton is a genius


Lord of the Drum, Purveyor of Percussion, Slayer of Player Characters

My dice made me put in that last bit.

You can also call me Master of the Archaic Music since the CD player thread gets hit all the time about being behind the times...

Let me offer some unsolicited advice on marriage:

Communicate with your significant other.
Compromise with your significant other.
Find something in common to do together.
Continue having "dates" all throughout your relationship.

My marriage is finished after 11 years, killed by not following the advice above. We never made time for most of them, and neither of us could seem to do enough to help fix things. Bleh.

Best of luck and many happy years to you!


Happy belated birthday!

27 is the age that all the rock stars die don't you know.


Check your college's student center. There might be a list of activities or flyers from someone looking for gamers. When I was in college, there were a few groups who met in one of the conference rooms for a game. I found a group by making flyers and hanging them on the bulletin board--the real kind, made from cork-board...not the online kind that are full of riff-raff. These days though, you might be better off using your school's online recources. The internet was but an infant when I was in school. Try posting on the gamers seeking gamers scetion here on Paizo, or over at Wotc or Enworld. I'd think there are plenty of places like that to find collegiate gamers.


I hate that I am repsonsible for doing my job and the jobs of the electrical engineer and the wiring personnel. Learn to read a frikkin schematic for Pelor's sake. It's your job to wire something from a drawing, learn how to read the motherf***er. And if you're going to design something on paper, try looking at the actual physical components once in a while so you have a frikkin clue as to what goes where.

And I hate that my sailor mouth gets censored so I have to type stupid things like 'frikkin' and motherf***er.

***EDIT: I guess in this case it would be my sailor fingers not my sailor mouth...***


This is why I like Pazio. Good quality products and good quality relations with us little people.


Gary Teter wrote:
You're right, the packing slip didn't show the discount. However, the discount was indeed applied. I'll fix that display issue for future packing slips.

Cool. Thanks.


My order shows a $10 shipping discount, but when I got my stuff last week, the invoice didn't reflect the $10 discount. Hows come?


**marriage-ending rant**

I hate that my once-peaceful life has turned upside down.

I hate that my (soon-to-be-ex) wife has turned into a psychotic maniac.

I hate that she won't do anything to help out with our dissolution.

I hate getting a dissolution.

I hate that it's quickly turning sour and heading for divorce-land.

I hate that she won't let me see the kids as much as I'd like.

I hate that she brings her new boyfriend around the kids for "sleepovers". What an insensitive **bad word for female anatomy**. It's only been two friggin months. If you need to get laid so bad, go get laid, but don't be doing it around the kids. That's just pathetic.

I hate that she seems to forget that the kids have feelings and are very hurt by this whole thing and that everything she does is geared just to p*** me off without any regard to how the kids see and feel things.

I hate that I'm becoming a bitter woman-hater.


**rant over**

Saern wrote:
I don't have Unearthed Arcana, and really must say I don't have much interest, either.

The taint rules in UA are also in Dragon magazine. It's one of the 3.0 issues, I forget which one...I'm thinking early 300's.


Gwydion wrote:

*laughs* It's almost enough to try to convince you guys to let me run it on the weeks between your game. I must find /someone/ to run it for. . . I simply must!'s your napkin. *hands*

You won't have to do much convincing for most of us...especially me...although maybe not on the opposing Saturdays.

It'd be nice to get to play in one of the AP's for once.


I'm looking forward to this AP. I really liked the preview in 138. The name-dropping toward the end got me really drooling...Orcus AND Iggwilv...mmmm yummy...

I need a napkin now.


I'll add my praise of Tact-Tiles here. I've been using them for about a year and a half now and I love them. I also have a huge cardstock grid that has been laminated and a big piece of dry erase board. Those last two don't see much use since I got the Tact-Tiles, although I did have a map of Cauldron on the dry erase board for a long time.


Classic Rock mix these days...

Eagles, Stones, Van Morrison, Allman Brothers, Grateful Dead, Tom Petty, Doobie Brothers, etc, etc, etc....

I have to learn to play 80+ songs in the next few weeks. Hooray!


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