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Zo! walks in, and pulls a microphone out of his chest. Making signature finger guns at the audience, he grins. "Hey, hey, hey! Who's here for...
Joke's on you, Zo! cameos in a book of Return of the Runelords! :P??? Sorry, I am missing what you mean. "It means my stardom is timeless. Sheesh. Don't you realize that Eoxians are eternal, baby?"
"How much does it turn the mind? Why, it makes us fabulous! I could never have completed so many profitable seasons of the Necromancer had I not died first!" The most famous celebrity of the Pact Worlds tut-tuts at the old-fashioned views being expressed in this forum. "No wonder Golarian disappeared during the Gap, if this is any example of the opinions being expressed there..."
"Math..." Zo! waves away the pesky calculations. "And now for a PSA from the Eoxian Immigration Bureau...." Zo! turns to the cameras with his trademark dazzling smile. "Friends, ask yourselves... Is this too large a price for your chance at Second Life?" ★ --- ★ --- ★ --- ★ "The Eoxian Immigration Bureau is not responsible for any dissatisfaction, job insecurity or mental adjustment issues once you achieve your Second Life, and recommends that all breathers who aspire to Second Life status prove their dedication by working on Eox for the full 94 year trial period. Your time working to acheive your Second Life will not be refunded for any reason. All aspirants are reminded that they may experience some lack of virility, sleep, taste and smell upon transitioning to their Second Life, combined with an uncontrollable and insatiable hunger for the life force of all sentient beings. Thank you and congratulations on taking this first step towards immortality."
"And now... it's time for my second favorite past time, thread necromancy!" The Pact World's most famous media presence points his trademark finger guns and bumps the thread. "Normally, I don't support anything slow, but... there are times in any dramatic narrative where it is important to slow down the pace a little to amp the tension of the plot, amirite? That's why Zo! throws his support to the idea of initiating slow track in Starfinder Society!"
"I can't understand a word that out-of-sync dwarf says, but I commend his style! Another talent, discovered on one of my shows!"
"That's so Drift! Though it makes me glad that I hail from the future, where undead get autograph requests rather than stakes through the heart... I guess all my pre-Gap fans just need to look alive for now!"
Then an incredibly dashing entertainer and Pact Worlds Media celebrity comes on to the screen. "Will our daring if pint-sized hero manage to save the good, hard-working Eoxian hostages from the goons of the evil corpse fleet, or will the goons finally get to eat his brains? Better yet, will he finally fall in love with his ghoulfriend? You know what Zo! is rooting for! Tune back tomorrow for our next episode of Shorty vs the Hostile Corpsefleet Corporate Takeover!" Culture DC 10: This must be from one of Zo's many media crossover shows, as Eox has become the source of some of the biggest hits in the Pact Worlds, famous for crazy action sequences and completely deadly and unsafe performances pitting actors against real monsters.
Eoxian scientists on looking at cloning materials. "Oh, look! They gave us a way to make snacks!"
"Benny from the Mummy!" Zo! grins. "Now there was a character! Such comedic timing, ruthlessness and guile! It's a pity that he perished before the Gap. I would have loved to have him as a minion for my entertainment network." Zo! peers at Ashbourne and the Wolf. "I don't suppose either of you would be interested in an eternal internship with Zo! Entertainment?"
The main reason why people would visit Eox would probably be its lax laws and the ability to engage in certain vice without reprecussion (at least regarding the law). "Heh, I sponsored a band that was going through Dead Suns for an Eoxian concert! They were a great band, with a really badass name, We ate Golarian. They didn't think much of Eox's vices, though. They kept whining about the lack of restaurants, bars, toilets and the like. Though one of them had a little fling with my assistant, Wazasha, and it only took a major healing at clinic to restore him afterwards, so there is that...."
The Pact World's most famous media mogul steps into the thread wearing a velvet tuxedo and hoisting his trademark fingerguns. "You know what planet needs more appreciation? Think about it! Immortal populations! Majestic herds of wild ellicoths! Elegant glass snakes! A literally breathtaking view of the stars that is completely unhindered by atmosphere! Excitement and adventure along with fame and wealth galore in the Halls of the Living, and all you have to do is survive!" "What's not to love?"
"Liches always want musical numbers!' TLDR: Wait, liches are always evil? "I'm not evil... I'm just filmed that way!"
To confirm, if your characters do not show all their sessions in Paizo, we need to panic and get this updated? "Don't panic! Save that for my games!" "Find your towel (and your local Venture Captain, who can actually do something about this) and get these games updated!" ("I'm still not sure why you need your towel, but I'm told that it's helpful for leaky sentients like yourselves.")
"Illness makes for boring video. All that sneezing and coughing. Where's the ACTION? Where's the blood sport?" Zo! points to video of exploding orcs running through a deadly obstacle course in the Halls of the Living. "See? That's good video!" Zo! gives everyone a toothy grin. "Being undead, I am immune to little things like disease, still... I understand that many of my favorite Starfinder Wednesday reality stars are not. Still, I feel this Starfinder Wednesday GAP deep in my bones. DEEP. IN. MY. BONES." The Pact World's most famous reality star pauses a moment. "I'd like to propose an asynchronous Starfinder Wednesday, taking place here in the Paizo Infosphere, where we can discuss upcoming books and lore and whatever the devs want, and we can ask impertinent questions!"
"Ooh, that ending was BRUTAL!"
"You are taking all that tea with you, right? No, really, I insist."
Zo! sends a battalion of undead minions to load Poshkettle tea and your fruit basket onto Radaszam's shuttle. "Do look me up again! I always love reconnecting with my stars!" Zo! says genially.
A wash of even more sparkling confetti and the sound of upbeat brass instruments heralds the arrival of Zo! onto the stage. The undead mogul effortlessly swings a microphone in one hand, while casually pointing and smiling at members of the live studio audience. As the music calms, Zo! turns to provide both teams with a shot from his finger guns before addressing the audience. “Trials and tribulations! Drama and intrigue! Dangerous obstacles and murderous animals rendered into appetizers! Really folks, we have it all, don't we!?” Zo! revels in the crowd's adulation for a few seconds before a blinking red-screen causes the assembled masses to stop, save for a few lagging zombies who continue. “Now, if it were up to me, I'd call each of these teams a winner! But this is prime-time vidcasting, so there simply has to be a winner! If there wasn't, well, all of you might kill me—for a second time, that is! “So, for this episode of Pact World Warriors, the winning team is...” Zo! grins, drawing out the moment as long as possible, "...the Starfinder Seven, yay! Now everyone, dance!" Balloons fall from the ceiling. Brandishing a femur, Zo! leads the dance, popping as many balloons as he can! ♫ You put your right femur in, you put your right femur out, you do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about... ♫
They filled the GAP? Tell me more! I think I have some things that may be buried there...
"The rat popped the cat!" Zo! watches eagerly. "That's one rival down!"
"Oh this is such a nail biter! I wonder what the Rivals have planned!" Zo! is on the edge of his seat, clapping in anticipation.
"Oooh, a possessed augmentation! How fitting you got one here on my show! This does sound like an Eoxian special!"
Possessed Augmentation (Personal Boon): Either before or after joining the Starfinder Society, you received a prosthetic limb to replace one lost in a prior accident. You acquired the limb under dubious circumstances, and it’s never worked right since you got it. The Society performed a magical scan of the augmentation, which revealed a spirit stuck within the limb that was somehow bound to the augmentation prior to its installation. A capricious presence survives within the limb, its exact background and nature something you can determine.
Benefit: You gain a free prosthetic limb to replace a limb you’d previously lost during the course of an adventure. Otherwise, you can start a new character with this free prosthetic limb already attached. You must slot this boon after acquiring this possessed limb. While this boon is slotted, you suffer from the penalty listed below, depending on which limb was replaced. This penalty lasts until you either complete the tasks listed below, remove the affected limb, or pay to have a new replacement limb installed. If you replace the limb, then you can cross this boon off the sheet. Once per scenario, you can attempt to fulfill one of the associated tasks in any order, though the final task must be performed last. Once you have completed all of the associated tasks, you have reached an accord with the spirit within the limb, no longer suffer its penalty, and gain the listed benefit. Penalty (Arm or Hand): The arm or hand twitches sporadically under the most strenuous circumstances. You take a –1 penalty to all Initiative checks and a –1 penalty to attack rolls with weapons that use that limb. Penalty (Leg or Foot): Your leg constantly seizes, reducing your base land speed by 5 feet (to a minimum of 5 feet), and you take a –1 penalty to all Reflex saves. ▫ Task: If you’re using the arm or hand prosthetic, you must deal a critical hit with a weapon wielded with your possessed augmentation against a significant foe. If you’re using the leg or foot prosthetic, you must exceed the DC of a Reflex save by 3 or more from an effect created by a significant hazard or enemy. Doing so shows the spirit that you’re willing to persevere, despite the annoyance caused by its manifestations. ▫ Task: You can humble the spirit within the prosthetic by showing you that its actions won’t stop you from persevering. You must spend the entire adventure not fighting the limb. This doubles the penalties listed above for the duration of the scenario. ▫ Final Task: You must defeat a foe whose CR is at least 2 higher than your character level. You do not need to deal the final blow, but your actions must have contributed to the foe’s defeat in a significant way. Completion Benefit: Your prosthetic limb now works in tandem with you and all previous penalties are removed. If you’re using the arm or hand prosthetic, you reduce the penalty to attack rolls when performing a full attack with weapons in that hand by 1. If you’re using the leg or foot prosthetic, you gain a +1 bonus to all Reflex saves. Regardless of what possessed prosthetic you possess; the resident spirit also offers you a modicum of protection against incoming effects. Once per adventure, you can spend a Resolve Point to call on the spirit within your limb to either double bonus associated with your limb for one round or allow you to re-roll a single Will save resulting from a hostile mind-affecting effect.
Or you can post your questions here:
The most popular showman in the Pact Worlds steps forward. "I have enjoyed this conversation as well. So much that I think we need a new show: Extreme Debates, pitting intelligent scholars in conversation, with death matches and musical interludes!"
"Can anyone bot the enterprising ysoki soon? I'm impatient for some glorious con-artistry!"
"Spinning Falcon speaks!" Zo! claps. "Another unforgettable moment from Zo! productions."
"Okay teams, you have three rounds for your scheming and preparations before we open those doors! What do you do?"
"Ooh... Devious!" Zo! turns to the cameras. "Keep filming!"
Zo! arrives in the break room to investigate. He nods eagerly as he listens, exclaiming to the newly installed cameras in your breakroom, “Drama! Intrigue! I'm almost grateful to Datch for letting us know that we should have cameras filming in the green rooms! We couldn't have scripted this, it's perfect!” He claps his bony hands and says, "I think it's time for Capture the Flag, don't you?"
Okay, I am done posting my narrative summation! Now you can safely respond to all that has happened before I move you on to Capture the Flag! Wooot! Smek, you can now post without worry of me ninjaing you!
Zo! grins at Smek's suggestion of 'Whack a Mole!' "Ooh, Whack a Mole sounds like fun! Maybe we can release that as a special 'Behind the Scenes' episode!"
Zo! traipses in, stepping gingerly over the smashed and charred bones that litter everywhere. "You were magnificent!' Then he grins. "Now we're gearing up to CAPTURE THE FLAG, so hurry to your breakrooms and grab your flags!"
Zo! listens to this conversation for a couple minutes and then snaps his fingers at a minion. After conferring for a moment, he drums his fingers in delighted consternation. "How odd. There is no record of a 'Datch' or an ysoki other than Smek anywhere in our complex. This 'Datch' brought in close to 300 credits of imported fresh fruit into Eox without declaring it at Customs. We need to have more cameras in the Green Rooms!" He gesticulates wildly. "How could we miss such drama? Such mystery?! And without filming it?! It's criminal!"
Shortly after Zez'ka waves to Datch, Zo! comes by, and then stares open-mouthed at the basket of produce. "What is all this? You Starfinders certainly know how to stock a Green Room! That sly Radaszam must be even richer than he lets on. I really didn't know he would be this lavish in his spending!" Then Zo! shrugs. "So, are you ready for the next challenge? You have only a few minutes left on your break!"
"Ooh, you've got to be kidding me! Have we no OTHER sponsors?" Zo! shakes his head.
"Ooh is cheating allowed? Will the teams be able to mess with one another?" Zo! is so excited, he is jumping around.
Zo! gestures to the stack of Poshkettle Tea packets in the break room. “You want samples of Poshkettle Tea? Oh, please! Take it all away!” Then the entertainer straightens his bow tie.
As you pass by Zo!, he's shaking his head and mutters to himself as you go by. "Poshkettle Tea... Seriously? That's a sponsor of our show now? I should have never made that pink-haired pixie a star..."
"Dwarf hopping! I love it! Look at 'em go on those stubby legs. Does anyone have popcorn? Oh wait. I'm undead! But I think this occasion deserves popcorn anyways!"
"Wow, watching non-Atheletes try to climb is awesome. Can we replay that about twenty more times?"
"Will Smek get swallowed by the goo? Will the rest of the team make it up the cliff face? Will Verity pull the dashing Rafelo out of the muck, or will they both get pulled under by the quicksand? What other dastardly surprises await the Starfinders?" Zo! grins to the cameras and offers up his trademark fingerguns. "Can I do cliffhangers, or what?"
"Smek has reached the Wall! of! Champions!" Zo! pronounces each word as its own exclamation mark. "Can he ascend? Oh, Moxie can! Look at those little legs go!"
"And now for my favorite sport! BUG DROPPING!" Zo! throws a giant lever next to him, and a trap door opens over the mires of misery, unceremoniously dumping a surprised shirren starfinder from his place in the studio audience on to the sands below. "Well, rats. I didn't hit anyone. Oh well, there's always next time, amirite?"
9) I just want to know if there is a moment where the entire team gets swallowed by a giant bug, and then has to cut themselves out, and then come out victorious -- yet still covered in bug goo! Can you imagine anything more EPIC? What kind of gory treats lay ahead of us? Is this going to be more action-packed than Live Exploration Extreme!!!?
"What... they're expecting traps?" Zo! raises his hand to his forehead in mock anguish. "I hope we're not becoming predictable!"
"Man, my polling audience is ROUGH!"
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