I've been trying to cancel Kobold Cleaver since before I spawned him.
June we all know you just rode the coattails of a more successful work. You're just as dated as he is.
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Stabbyface poksie Koboldsies?
I have no idea what you're talking about. Frankly Captain Yesterday needs to be canceled too. I don't know what they were thinking when they greenlit this mess. But that's not what this thread is abou— ARG NO GET THAT GOBLIN OUT OF HERE QUICK, BEFORE IT MULTIPLIES
Just awful. This is what I'm talking about, people. Kobold Cleaver is suffering from post bloat. The only solution is a cancellation or maybe a new edition.
Ha! Got one. That alias didn't even bother to change its avatar back after he went on his huge "Erik Mona Day" binge. Good riddance! And that goes for the rest of you, too! No more alias bantering! You're just trying to rekindle old relics of when Kobold Cleaver was in his proper place as a beloved and near-worshiped pillar of the community. Pathetic.
Ugh. You're fine, baba. Keep doing...whatever it is you're doing. It's these other freaks I'm sick of. Hey, drones, newsflash: KOBOLD CLEAVER GOT OLD A LONG TIME AGO. Stop trying to delay the inevitable.
Ugh no please all of you go away. You are muddying the message of this thread.
Trying way too hard Sphere. This is just sad now.
Dear Paizo Staff, Moderators, Forum Users and Whatever Cosmo Is Good day. Hello, Paizo. I am writing with the drastic request that you, Paizo, please cancel Kobold Not-Clever immediately. I know this might come across as difficult, if not impossible, but lately I have noticed a sad trend towards him: 1. Not being as funny
I am concerned as a former enthusiastic fan of Kobold Cleaver and his valuable contributions. I understand that Kobold Cleaver is a major source of traffic for the website, especially for the moderators who used to love reading and locking his threads. But I do not want to see Kobold Cleaver grow stagnant and dated, like my other favorite thing, green tea*. It is sad, yes. Losing something as popular as "KC" (as his biggest fans call him) is not easy to do. People have already tried very much to do just that! It is practically impossible! He is basically a cockroach, or perhaps a cockroach lich with a cockroach phylactery! But he has not created a new pointless alias in at least two months. All he does is argue about rules and politic rules, and sometimes wait no no that is literally all he does make him stop. Face the music. This bad kobold has become boring. He is even resorting to tired ploys like starting new PbPs to try to recreate glory of old ones. The last time he got a thread of his locked, it wasn't because it was a terrible thread, it was because it was about a controversial politics person. ANYONE could do that! He has jumped the shark! Paizo, you are just looking sad and desperate by maintaining this outdated program. Shut down Kobold Cleaver. Let this end with dignity, or I will have no choice but to pull out all my stock in your little company. Choose art, not money. Signed, A Concerned Fan *Which is, as we all know, terrible these days. My cup of tea used to be very good but after a year or so it has begun to grow mold. Tea is bad. Don't drink tea.
PSYCH! Next person who posts on this thread loses twenty-seven Goblin Balls.
runs through thread with a torch watches Attack Goblin #23 trip on a wire, setting off two logs capable of destroying big Ewok-killing automobiles
"Yes yes, food is good. Very nice."
"No. Duck drink is good."
"Ooh. You has ducks as drink? I has that!"
The kobold ignores the spoon. He picks up a dozen 'eggs' and shoves them into his mouth happily.
#11 doesn't understand a word the metal man is saying. "You serve food?" he asks cautiously. "Yes! I want grub eggs!"
#11 doesn't understand a word the metal man is saying. "You serve food?" he asks cautiously.
The kobold nods, though he seems a bit disappointed.
Yipyipyipyipyip!
The kobold coughs up what seems to be a small chicken bone. "Thanks," he says. "No remember where that come from." He looks up, seeming to acknowledge what Karrin said. "Eh? It only kill you if you have too much. Anyways, that was only second gulp, still got one left."He starts to take another gulp.
The kobold takes another gulp and starts choking.
It shrugs. "No alchohol, but we go sorta crazy, and then we die." The kobold blinks. "So it pretty close, yes?" He takes another gulp. "This second gulp. Can usually go to four, but best be careful."
The kobold raises his hand. "Fermented poison dart frog!" he says."That sounds kind of nasty," Karrin says, "it's not really poison is it?" The kobold rolls its eyes. "Yes, is, that why you ferment it!" He takes a drink and promptly chokes. "Real strong taste, though."
Thursday. Why'd it have to be....Thursday.Four more days it'll be.... Monday. I'll see you then CDP. *Continues putting down mousetraps*
Stop! No eat cheese! You want mice to overwhelm place? *Mutters to self*Stupid mice, me get them yet, yes, they no live to see 'nother sunrise...
YIP!
What about feces-proof?No worry, me am explosion proof!Ewwww....You do realize what a poodle "landmine" is, don't you? Huh? Oh! EWWW! *Runs away*
Yip!I'm a strong believer that the French should be bitten and not heard. That my line! Yip!
Ewwww....You do realize what a poodle "landmine" is, don't you? No worry, me am explosion proof!
drops a few landmines to cover his retreatYou do realize that that leaving a trail is not the way to cover one's retreat, right? *Picks up landmines, digs pit trap under them, replaces them* *Continues running*
Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Me no yap.
Yes! Now to plot revenge by inviting buncha french peoples here!You know we can hear you, right? That what they think! Now, my super-secret plan! I is start big new frenchy cult, and organize them to attack poodle thread! Then I eat eclairs!
Yes! Now to plot revenge by inviting buncha french peoples here!
Only if you promise to leave the rest of us poodles alone!*Stabs poodle* I telling weasel to eat you! Stupid weasel! *Weasel bites #11*Ow! Okay, fine, I not hurt poodles!
*Stabs poodle* AAAA! *Releases tiny blue weasel from pack*Eat it! Eat it!
*Stabs poodle*
The kobold raises his hand. "Fermented poison dart frog!" he says.
Ribbit!
That last nest was full of chocolate easter eggs. Those my special alchemist bags! I trying to keep them birds from getting too common! You still got them?
Bah. Me cheer for Seahawks. ..did they win?
I has green weasel! *Pulls out radioactively-effected weasel from pocket*
He nods, puts the weasel away, and picks up the cake. He brings it slowly to his mouth, and swallows it in one gulp. He nods. "Good cake! I have more now!"
The kobold pulls out a small weasel like thing from his pack. Holding it by the tail, he slowly lowers the creature closer to the cake slice. "I have to make sure," he explains. "No worry, it very sanitary.
"Um, because I'm a good person . . ." Karrin says, trying to think like a kobold, "and because we got lots." The kobold looks confused again. Then he shrugs. "Okay, I try it..." he says. He reaches into his backpack. "Where is cake?"
"Did I?" Karrin asks blinking, "well for starters I didn't bake it so I can't say for sure, but why would anyone put that stuff in it to begin with? That would make it really hard to eat. If cake had poison or razor blades in it I don't think I'd enjoy it very much." "But why you give it to me if it not a trick of some sort?" the kobold asks, following her.
The kobold stares. "What in it? Poison?""There's sugar for sure," Karrin notes, "sometimes chocolate, sometimes vanilla, but what ever is in it, Cake is darn tasty." The kobold cokcs his head. "Did you poison it? Or put razor blades in it?"
Yaa! Die, Shakespeare, die!
The kobold stares. "What in it? Poison?"
"Thank you for your help Mr Serra," Karrin says, "please don't be a stranger. Family has to stick together and all that. I'd better get back to the others . . . we're having cake cuz it's my birthday." Cake? What that?" asks a nearby kobold.
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