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Says it all.


Soldier! You are not wearing proper fatigues. I demand that you ditch your civvies and drop and ... do me ... twenty!


Suzie Sunshine wrote:
Says it all.

We do not wish to be called weirdos. We prefer the term "Normalcy Challenged".

Dark Archive

Rear Admiral Bÿrdtúrgler wrote:

Let me be the judge of that ... <smacks lips>

What is your rank, solider?

"i'm an... A rank"


Did someone stripsearch this recruit before allowing him on the premesis?

Dark Archive

places the Jack Cannon in thread
"look what I found"


Colonel Kernel wrote:
Did someone stripsearch this recruit before allowing him on the premesis?

Colonel; this recruit appears to be quite translucent. I'm baffled. I tried to get my hands on him and it went right through.

But I can't help but note that ... huge cannon ... he's wielding.

Dark Archive

and thats the way its going to stay!


Can you show me how you wield that ... cannon? I am quite ... fascinated.

The Exchange

Corporal Punishment. wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:

*It tickles *

Stop it!!!

Sounds like you need another spanking ...er... stabbing!

ummmm

Dark Archive

Rear Admiral Bÿrdtúrgler wrote:
Can you show me how you wield that ... cannon? I am quite ... fascinated.

ghost touch gloves


I has green weasel! *Pulls out radioactively-effected weasel from pocket*


I've got a weasel in my pocket too. Check for yourself.


*a single figure falls from the sky, below a parachute canopy*
*his parachute collapses, but he deploys another*
*that one collapses too*
*he burns in with a puff of dust*
*gets up, dusts himself off, and double-times over*

AIRBORNEATWRLTWWTFBBQLOL!!!!! Captain Hardass McSeriousface reporting. *looks around* Holy hand grenades, these privates all look like zombies! Must be PT time in leg-land. Oh wait... they ARE zombies. Dammit, survive one zombie apocalypse and they put me in a whole friggin unit of em. Punished for success, business as usual.

Lieutenant, make me a pot of coffee. I'll be over here saving the free world one Powerpoint slide at a time.

David Fryer wrote:
Colonel Kernel wrote:
go over there and load your balls into them and start shooting!
ROTFLOL

Balls of the Eagle


ulgulanoth wrote:
Rear Admiral Bÿrdtúrgler wrote:
Can you show me how you wield that ... cannon? I am quite ... fascinated.
ghost touch gloves

That's the spy!

Get him!

Dark Archive

i'm not a spy... *inosent smile*


ulgulanoth wrote:
i'm not a spy... *inosent smile*

I think we'll put you in line for the stripsearch, too.

Dark Archive

you can see throw me... what is there to stripsearch?


I keep trying to do so but he's got nothing underneath that jacket. I'm very ... disappointed. I'm afraid he's 4-F.

Dark Archive

well if you look hard enough a mass of tentacles will grab you and drag you to the other side...


Honestly, they will let just about anyone in the Army now days.... I mean they let me in after all.

Dark Archive

ofcourse they will... right?


ulgulanoth wrote:
well if you look hard enough a mass of tentacles will grab you and drag you to the other side...

Are you a hentai squid or are you happy to see me?

Dark Archive

no, just corrupted by the far plane


I'm the one that does all the ... corrupting ... around here. Drop down and give me twenty, private snowball!

Dark Archive

drops down but carries on falling throw the floor


I've got my pen, now someone get me some papers to sign. We have a war to prep for.

Private don't forget to pick up my pants at the dry cleaners.

~Stands up and whacks Sharoth in the head~

The Exchange

Here is some paperwork. in triplicate even.


Sign my leave form, sir, I'm kicking up deuces. It's the WEEKEND!!


*Pokes head into thread, looking for Panama Jack. Carries on to threads unknown.*


Charlie the Survivor wrote:
Sign my leave form, sir, I'm kicking up deuces. It's the WEEKEND!!

I would love to help, but I've started my weekend early, and I don't sign papers on the weekend. I would tell you to clean the latrine, but I don't give orders on the weekend either.


LTJG Tubbs McBarnacle reporting for duty!


Lieutenant Taig wrote:

Capt. Tight Pants is my Senior Officer.

Ayup, and you better remember it Boy!


Navy Corpseman wrote:

LTJG Tubbs McBarnacle reporting for duty!

ROFL! Obama would be so proud!


Field Marshal von Grünmann wrote:
I'm also outside of your league, leftenant. Don't worry about me, however. Leave that to Capt Tight Pants!

Capt Tight pants at your service ....sir.


Captain, I admire the way that you demonstrate your ... cervix ... to the military. At ease!


Capt. Tight Pants wrote:
Field Marshal von Grünmann wrote:
I'm also outside of your league, leftenant. Don't worry about me, however. Leave that to Capt Tight Pants!
Capt Tight pants at your service ....sir.

Gentlemen, I'm off to conduct intensive night op maneuvers with Capt Tight Pants. I may not be back for some time. Carry on, and don't send out search parties. If I don't come back, assume I've gone on a pressing and demanding mission, which undoubtably, I will.


Field Marshal von Grünmann wrote:
Capt. Tight Pants wrote:
Field Marshal von Grünmann wrote:
I'm also outside of your league, leftenant. Don't worry about me, however. Leave that to Capt Tight Pants!
Capt Tight pants at your service ....sir.
Gentlemen, I'm off to conduct intensive night op maneuvers with Capt Tight Pants. I may not be back for some time. Carry on, and don't send out search parties. If I don't come back, assume I've gone on a pressing and demanding mission, which undoubtably, I will.

Sir, we Will need private and secure use of the .....artillery bunker....


Rear Admiral Bÿrdtúrgler wrote:
Captain, I admire the way that you demonstrate your ... cervix ... to the military. At ease!

At ease? At ease? There is no at ease in this army! You will remail stiff...and firm...in your stature!!


*Collects all copies of the security card for the artillery bunker*

Good thinking, Capt. Solid and sound-proof.


Capt. Tight Pants wrote:
At ease? At ease? There is no at ease in this army! You will remail stiff...and firm...in your stature!!

I am stiff. Rock hard. The rigor mortis, you see...

Snaps off several fingers and waggles them at Capt. Tight Pants


Stiff and Rigid, why yes I do love the 10 inch.....guns on the battle ships yeah that's what I meant


Charlie the Survivor wrote:

Lieutenant, make me a pot of coffee. I'll be over here saving the free world one Powerpoint slide at a time.

<Consults FM 69-77>

There doesn't seem to be anything about making coffee in here...


Lieutenant Taig wrote:
Charlie the Survivor wrote:

Lieutenant, make me a pot of coffee. I'll be over here saving the free world one Powerpoint slide at a time.

<Consults FM 69-77>

There doesn't seem to be anything about making coffee in here...

<skims FM 69-77> Oh there it is. It also states that you must give all higher ranking personnel back massages. It's in the fine print under the heading labeled "Happy endings"


Ah yes, it's been some time since my last Happy Ending. 30 minutes come and go quickly.

Soldier, reload the rifle and ... come ... with me. Hump the hills!


It has been a while since I've seen any military action.


You're definitely going to get a piece of the action, minuteman.


I have finally arrived. My gerbil escaped and I had to chase him all around the office. Poor little Mister Tiggles.


Free at last free at last, Lord God allmighty I'm free at last.


My rifle is cocked.

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