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You're going to have to use a left-handed screwdriver to open the valve on the decompressor. And don't forget to top off the headlight fluid when you're finished.
Meow! Hell, I can say "meow." I can say "moo." For twenty bucks, I'll call the guy a chicken-f&*&er.
Some people think that the glass is 1/2 empty. Other people think that the glass is 1/2 full. Microsoft Excel thinks that the glass is January 1st.
Welcome to Drumworld. Flat on top, hollow in the middle. Catastrophic earthquake/sonic booms happen when the huge drummer boy strikes his instrument. Luckily he plays at cosmic tempo , so hundreds of years pass between drumbeats.Give me a minute, I need to figure out how this fits into my "donut earth" theory. Donuts! Is there anything they can't do?
Don't leave us hanging! My imagination will fill that void with illicit gorilla rodeos and koala juggling!
This has more than just red flags. It has red banners, the marching band is all wearing red, the floats in the parade are red... Chairman Mao is standing up on a balcony waving to everybody...
"Bought a tap and die set from Harbor Freight. Did not tap. Did die."
Stolen from a stranger on the internet: "It was a hot night in the City of Angels when a leggy blonde walked into my office. She had 13, maybe 14 legs. Way too many. "That's a lot of legs for a dame," I suggested to her eldritch form. She glanced my way, and rolled her eyes at me. I picked them up and rolled them back."
Some people think filling farm animals with helium is wrong. I don't judge, though. Whatever floats your goat.
What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
Who?Owls well that ends well. The guy playing first base.
Lots of owls on this thread all of a sudden... The owls are not what they seem.
Prepare... We all must prepare... For the great Feast of the Superb Owl is upon us once again...
I asked my wife to polish my medieval kit while I went to the pub. I don't understand why she got mad at me--she always said she wanted a night in, shining armor.
Never challenge Death to a pillow fight unless you're prepared to face the reaper cushions.
Police On My Dad, or whatever that Spanish phrase actually says. It's "Fleas On My Dog."
"Ever wonder why ice cubes taste so boring? It's because you're make 'em out of stupid water, you bimbo. Put some fruit juice in there, and freeze it into ice cubes, and put that in your milk!"
Hint - it involves witches/wizards, and it’s primary setting is a school. Ah, yes, I may be familiar with the story... Harris Portnoy and the Stoned Philosophers, I believe it was called?
The name of the famed lake in Massachusetts isn't "Chargagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg," it's "Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg." Everybody gets this one wrong, even though it's such an easy name to remember. I don't get it.
You must have some really weird colleagues... Your colleagues are six-year-olds?
Jesus, take the wheel. No, wait, not that one!
You mean it's not true?...man that is dumb.Yogurt with an h is the British spelling.The extra H is to honour the House of Hanover, and was used as a ruse to expose Jacobite spies during the rebellions of the 1700s, since their loyalty to the Stuart kings would not allow them to include it.
Fixed it
I don't see what's at all wrong with reading long political/philosophical essays.In the past, I've been told that it's bad for me. Also, I could be doing literally anything else. For example, watching I Love Lucy.
What flavor is the dinosaur cake? I'm assuming it's dinosaur-flavored.
Someone call Shadiversity.
Five ants rented an apartment with five other ants. Now they're tenants.
One time I actually ran a humorous game with a party of drizzt's. It was freakin' hilarious.
College Kid: So learn how to carve some g*~!~+n squirrels or something! As in carving things to resemble squirrels, or as in carving squirrels to resemble other things?
stroppy psychic Goth Is there any other kind?
10 years and counting...
The Fairchild Republic A-10 Thunderbolt II is a single-seat, twin turbofan engine, straight wing jet aircraft developed by Fairchild-Republic for the United States Air Force (USAF). Commonly referred to by the nicknames "Warthog" or "Hog", its official name comes from the Republic P-47 Thunderbolt, a World War II fighter that was effective at attacking ground targets.
Hey look, the forums are super modern and hard to use now! Just what I wanted for Christmas!
Failing to plan is planning to fail! And don't forget, when you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
Possessions are chains. Only the destitute are truly free.Thoreau certainly thought so. Thoreau was a 19th-century hipster.
I prefer finding local spots. Fast food is poison. King Mithridates VI of Pontus took a small dose of poison every day during his reign, and eventually made himself immune to poison, to the point where, when he was about to be removed from power, he was unable to commit suicide by poison, and was forced to order his bodyguard to stab him to death. So, I'm guessing what you're saying is that you should eat a little fast food every day in order to prevent your enemies from using it to kill you. Makes sense.
Arguing with the GM: Is it ever appropriate? Only when they're wrong.
Anyone know a good freeware program to learn a foreign language?I have heard good things about Duolingo.
In the 2013 movie World War Z, Peter Capaldi played the character "W.H.O. Doctor." And That's Terrible.
He must be from Lake Wobegon. I hear the children there are all above-average.
The archer on Daniel Horne's cover for Dragon Magazine 126 (October 1987), is modelled on his wife. His mother-in-law.
Blockbuster turned down it's chance to acquire NetFlix in order to partner with Enron. (Yes, THAT Enron.) Oh jeez...
From interviews I've seen, Ben Affleck is actually a pretty smart guy. Or, as the citizens of his home city would say, "wicked smaht."
Note: while Jimsonweed can turn you into a living zombie and nightshade can make you actually dead, none of the plants listed can turn you into an undead creature. Better keep half an eye on those potatoes, though. You never can trust the damn things. Further note: due to the close relation of the genera Solanum and Nicotiana, viable crossbreeding is hypothetically possible.
I've been waiting 7 long years. Where's my free turnip?
If I'd known you were going, I'd have let the Queen know. She's fun to have a beer with. Are you British? I hear they all know her.
Sure enough. To educate the uneducated requires years of schooling, but to make a living person dead, all you need is a really sharp screwdriver.
I remember them existing (Races of Destiny came out right at the peak of my gaming years), but I don't exactly remember them being a *thing*.What sounds better as a name for a race: Luminarians or Luminars? Their name sounds like Illuminati. Coincidence?
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