The Roc's page

...OF THE ROC'S FANS CHANT THE NAME OF THE MOST ELECTRIFYING ANIMAL COMPANION IN GOLARION SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TODAY!

FINALLY!

THE ROC!
HAS COME BACK!
TO THE PAIZO FORUMS!

NOW THE ROC WANTS YOU TO KNOW YOUR PARTY ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH, BECAUSE THE ROC IS GOING TO LAYETH THE SMACKETH DOWN ON YOUR CANDY ASH!

BUT FIRST, LISTEN TO THE MILLIONS-

-OF THE ROC'S FANS ALL AROUND THE WORLD!
CAN YOU SMELLLELELELELELLLLELELELELLLLLELEL
WHAT THE ROC
IS COOKING

THE ROC APPRECIATES THE CARE YOU ARE SHOWING FOR WHAT MAY BE THE FUTURE MOST ELECTRIFYING ANIMAL COMPANION IN GOLARION SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!
SOON YOUR JABRONI GROUP CAN JOIN THE MILLLLLLLIONS-

THE ROC SAYS THAT NO MATTER HOW MANY IMITATORS COME ALONG
NO MATTER HOW MANY THINK THEY CAN BE A
JABRONI BEATING
PIE EATING
HIGHFLYING
ELECTRIFYING
FLYBY ATTACK DROPPING
SPINE POPPING
FEATHER RAISING
PEOPLE'S CHAMPION

THAT THERE WILL ONLY EVER BE ONE...

GREAT ONE

THE ROC HAS BEEN UP IN THE AERIE
CLANGIN' AND BANGIN'
BUT THE ROC WANTED TO TAKE SOME TIME TO REMIND YOU OF THE 'MOVE' OPTION ASSOCIATED WITH GRAPPLING
ALTHOUGH YOUR ROODY-POO CANDY ASH OPPONENT WILL GET SOME BONUSES TO BREAK FREE, YOU CAN PUT THEM IN HARM'S WAY, DROP THEM OFF LEDGES OR SACRIFICE YOUR OWN BODY RIGHT ALONG WITH THEM, HARDCORE-STYLE!
ALSO, THE ROC WANTED TO REINFORCE THE IDEA OF USING THE 'INFLICT DAMAGE' OPTION IN A GRAPPLE FLAVORED TO INCLUDE ALL SORTS OF HOLDS AND TECHNIQUES, SO THAT YOU CAN LAYETH THE SMACKETH DOWN WHILE EATING...

PIE

...OF THE ROC'S FANS CHANT THE NAME OF THE MOST ELECTRIFYING ANIMAL COMPANION IN GOLARION SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TODAY!

FINALLY!

BUT FIRST, LISTEN TO THE MILLIONS-

AND MILLIONS!

AND WHEN THE ROC LAYETHS THE SMACKETH DOWN ON THEIR CANDY ASSES
JUST REMEMBER TO ASK THEM
IF THEY SMELELLLLLELLLLELLLELELLLL
WHAT THE ROC
IS COOKIN'?!

-IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HIS NAME IS!
ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT THE ROC IS GOING TO LAYETH THE SMACKETH DOWN
ON HIS CANDY ASS
NOW TELL ME YOU BIG GREEN AND YELLOW JABRONI, CAN YOU SMELLELLELELLLELLELELELLLLLELLLL
WHAT THE ROC
IS COOKIN?

-OF THE ROC'S FANS THAT THERE WAS A ROODY POO CANDY ASS DISCO LOBSTER WHO NEEDS TO KNOW HIS ROLE AND SHUT HIS MOUTH.
THE ROC HAS BEEN PUTTING BOOTS TO ASSES AS THE MOST ELECTRIFYING ANIMAL COMPANION IN GOLARION SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT NON-STOP
BECAUSE THE ROC WON'T STOP
BECAUSE THE ROC CAN'T STOP
NOW MOTHBALL...THE ROC IS GOING TO SPEAK TO YOU, NICE AND CLEAR...

FINALLY
THE ROC
HAS COME BACK
TO DEEP 6 FAWTL

THE ROC WAS UP IN THE AERIE
CLANGIN AND BANGIN
WHEN THE ROC GOT A CALL ON HIS JABRON-iPHONE
YOU SEE THE ROC GOT A REPORT FROM ONE OF THE MILLIONS-

THE ROC DOES NOT KNOW WHO THIS 'SILKYSET' JABRONI IS, BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE SCORPION KING WHO IS TRULY THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION

...OF THE ROC'S FANS.

THE ROC DOES NOT SPEND ALL HIS TIME UP IN THE AERIE, CLANGIN AND BANGIN, SO TAKE SOME ROODY POO CANDY SASS BAT CAN TAKE HIS PLACE AS THE MOST ELECTRIFYING ANIMAL COMPANION IN GOLARION SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TODAY. NOW CAN YOU SMELLLLLLELLLELELLLELELELELLL...
WHAT THE ROC
IS COOKIN?

THE ROC IS GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU FIGURED OUT YOUR LITTLE PROBLEM, JABRONI, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO FAVORING A BAT OVER...

THE GREAT ONE

...WELL THEN THE ROC THINKS YOU MUST HAVE TAKEN ONE TOO MANY CHAIR SHOTS TO THE HEAD.

THE ROC UNDERSTANDS THAT HE IS THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION AND SO DO THE MILLIONS...

THE ROC SAYS THAT MAYBE YOU SHOULD KNOW YOUR ROLE AND TAKE A LOOK AT A 7TH LEVEL SMALL-SIZED DRUID WITH AN ANIMAL COMPANION...

...ONE THAT IS THE MOST ELECTRIFYING ANIMAL COMPANION IN GOLARION SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TODAY...

THE ROC SAYS THAT YOU HAVE IT BACKWARD, JABRONI
THE RANGER IS THE PET

I know where you roost you friggin hack

THEN WHY DON'T YOU COME VISIT THE ROC AT YOUR MOMMA'S HOUSE, JABRONI?

-OF THE ROC'S FANS ENJOY...
PIE

I know what your posting at work!

THE ROC SAYS THAT YOU SHOULD TAKE YOUR SURVEILLANCE

WHILE THE MILLIONS-

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!
BUT THE ROC HAS GOOD NEWS FOR YOU
THE ROC WILL HELP YOU GET YOUR FRIEND
AND THEN THE ROC
WILL EAT

PIE

-OF THE ROC'S FANS
IN THE LAND OF THE EVERBOOR

THE ROC WOULD NEVER
AND THE ROC MEANS NEVER
ABANDON THE MILLIONS-

*raises a feathered eyebrow*

WHAT'S YOUR NAME, JABRONI?

Old Doc Flumph wrote:

Am Sorcerer falls to the floor. The guard who was using him as a shield falls on top of him. His elbow hits you in the solar plexus. You take 1d6 points of damage.

The other guards keep their balance.

James, roll a Reflex Save.

Unbelieveable. It's starting ot look like a feeble WWE wrestling pitch/script.

FINALLY

THE ONLY
AND THE ROC MEANS ONLY
THING THE ROC CAN SMELL
IS WHAT THE ROC IS COOKIN'

WELL THE ROC IS GLAD TO SEE OUR GM HAD A GOOD CRY AND GOT IT ALL OUT OF THEIR SYSTEM

THE ROC SWOOPS DOWN AND SNATCHES THE LION CUB

THE ROC IS HERE TO REPRESENT THE PEOPLE
BECAUSE THE ROC IS THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION
BUT THE PEOPLE DO NOT EVER
AND THE ROC MEANS EVER
INCLUDE CULTISTS

-OF THE ROC'S FANS AROUND GOLARION
TAKE COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT THE
MOST ELECTRIFYING ANIMAL COMPANION
IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TODAY
IS HERE TO STAY

IF YOU SMELLLLLELLLLELLLELLLLEELLLLL
WHAT THE ROC

IS COOKIN'

THE ROC SAYS
THERE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE IMITATORS
BUT THERE WILL ALWAYS
AND THE ROC MEANS ALWAYS
ONLY EVER BE ONE...

GREAT ONE

AND FOR ALL THE MILLIONS-

FINALLY
THE ROC
HAS COME BACK
TO POST IN THIS THREAD!

THE ROC LANDS HARD AND FAST, SOME JABRONI WITH HIS PANTS DOWN PROVIDES A GOOD CUSHION FROM THE IMPACT OF THE ROC THUDDING TO EARTH

THE ROC APOLOGIZES THAT THE ROC HAS NOT BEEN AROUND, BUT THE ROC WAS UP IN THE AERIE, CLANGIN AND BANGIN

OF THE ROC'S FANS

THE ROC CELEBRATES WITH THE PEOPLE, THE MILLIONS-

THE ROC IS THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION AND YOU DO
NOT
HARM THE PEOPLE IN THE ROC'S PRESENCE

HERE COME SOME BOOTS TO ASHES ON THREE ORCS

THE PEOPLE'S BITE: 1d20 + 17 ⇒ (3) + 17 = 20
THE SMACKETH: 2d8 + 9 ⇒ (6, 5) + 9 = 20

THE ROC BOTTOM: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (2) + 18 = 20
THE DOWNETH: 2d6 + 9 ⇒ (1, 2) + 9 = 12

ANOTHER FOR YOUR MOTHER: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (4) + 18 = 22
MORE DOWNETH: 2d6 + 9 ⇒ (5, 6) + 9 = 20

THE ROC SAYS THAT THE ONLY THING SWAYING IS THE ROC'S PANCAKES IN THE ROC'S STOMACH AFTER SEEING THAT

THE ROC SAYS THAT IF YOU ARE GOING TO ROLL 1'S, THEN
KNOW YOUR ROLE
AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH
JABRONI

THE PEOPLE'S PERCEPTION: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (1) + 15 = 16
THE PEOPLE'S BITE: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (3) + 9 = 12
LAYING THE SMACKETH DOWN: 2d8 + 9 ⇒ (3, 1) + 9 = 13

THE ROC ATE HIS PANCAKES TODAY SO THE ROC IS FEELING
*takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, opens them*
GARGANTUAN

THE ROC SWOOPS DOWN, TELLING THOSE JABRONI ORCS TO TAKE THEIR JAVELINS, TURN THEM SIDEWAYS, AND STICK THEM STRAIGHT UP THEIR CANDYASHES

THE ROC THEN STARTS PUTTING BOOTS TO ASHES WITH A BITE ATTACK ON THE FIRST ORC

-OF THE ROC'S FANS TO CHANT HIS NAME...

THE ROC IS ABOUT TO LAY THE SMACK DOWN ON SOME RUDY POO CANDYASH ORCS
BUT FIRST
HE NEEDS THE MILLIONS-

FINALLY
THE ROC
HAS COME BACK
TO THE LAND OF THE EVERBOOR
!!!

THE MOST ELECTRIFYING ANIMAL COMPANION IN GOLARION SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT IS HERE TO LAYETH THE SMACKETH DOWN AND EAT

PIE

THE ROC WOULD HAVE RESPONDED EARLIER
BUT HE WAS UP IN THE AERIE
CLANGIN AND BANGIN

THE ROC SAYS THAT YOU TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT THE TETORI ARCHETYPE, POSSIBLY COMBINING IT WITH THE BRUTAL PUGILIST BARBARIAN

THE ROC ALSO SAYS TO CONSIDER A LORE WARDEN BUILD, SINCE THEY CAN HONE IN ON HIGH CMB/CMD NUMBERS AND SOME SERIOUS GRAPPLE DPR

AND FINALLY
THE ROC
HAS COME BACK
TO THE KING OF THE RING SUPPLEMENT FROM LITTLE RED GOBLIN GAMES

WITH THAT YOU CAN BUILD THE MOST ELECTRIFYING CHARACTER IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TODAY

APART FROM THE ROC, OF COURSE

PIE

FINALLY, AFTER 14 YEARS...

.