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Why, the stories I could tell - buuut we've finally begun working them out!
The next poster has been sent a mysterious note, and will now read it to us aloud.
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That Universal's own Phantom of the Opera, himself, would openly name-drop both Jaws and the Incredible Hulk, along with Count Dracula and all his Co-horts... now why would that be? Not "the voice of an angel", perhaps...but at least it isn't Gerard Butler! *reflexively reaches for Punjab Lasso*
Yes. I have complete confidence in these "background checks" if Alphonse managed to pass them. *a hauntingly beautiful disembodied voice reverberates around the room* Security troubles, Mademoiselle? Perhaps I can help, for an entirely reasonable rate of compensation, of course...I have quite the resume for such things...also, I hear there is an opening for senior voice instructors?
Dear Uncle GoatToucher, Life has become rather frustrating recently. Firstly, my workplace has recently come under new management. These fools refuse to take me seriously, and cannot be relied upon to respect my reserved space, or even pay my salary on time! I presented them with a new plan to revolutionize our HR situation - out with the old, tawdry, and overrated, in with the new, exciting, and gifted, that sort of thing - but once again, the fools NEVER listen! I am not even certain they bother to understand how much I do around here. Why, at first, they didn't even recognize me as one of the most senior, most dependable, and most productive employees! As if that all weren't bad enough, there's...this girl. The way I feel about her, I have never felt about anyone. I was frightened to approach her at first for fear she wouldn't like me (my talents and ambition have earned my many 'frenemies' over the years, but I have always had very few, if any, friends), but I was able to surreptitiously teach her, reveal the glorious abyssal depths of her own potential to her...and people have noticed. Her career is skyrocketing with my help. She still doesn't know who her teacher really is, though (it is hard to explain), and in the meantime, she is infatuated with this rich, manly, Aryan-featured, RICH fop who also happens to hold much of the company's purse-strings. I have my intellect and my art...but other than that, how can I compete? Your Obedient Friend, O.G.
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