The Master of the Pit's page

"It puts the lotion on its pelt, or it gets the decanter of endless water again."

"Minion!"

"Fetch me the new costume...."

"BEHOLD!!!
The.
Black.
...
...
MAMBA!"

Dude, chances in 1e of having a 17 or 18 in anything were pretty slim. What game were you playing?

Seriously, I know you're old school, but you sound like a 3x munchkin when you're discussing this. Even using 4d6 drop, a 17 or 18 is rare.

EVERYONE KNOWS D&D STATS ARE THREE! D! SIX!

What's all this talk of 4d6? Dropping dice? Rolling twelve sets?
Why not just add your birthday? Multiply by pi? S+~+, son, just give yourself six twenties if you're that way inclined!
If you want to play a sissified, limp-wristed pretence of a game, for bed-wetters and kindergartners!
If you want to admit to being a feeble excuse for a proper gamer, who can't handle the real thing!

PPfffssshh!
Get out of my sight! The lot of you!

You say you want to encounter kobolds?
You can't HANDLE the kobolds!

Yes; send your beloved companions, to me, at CritterCreche™.

I will see they are fed, and given plenty of exercise.

I prefer Paizo Fans United....PFU makes it sound like a school or something...Pathfinder University! Go PFU!

"I majored in Violence...with a Doctorate in PAIN!"

[praying] "The heavens declare the glory of the Bomb, and the firmament showeth His handiwork."

"I reveal my Inmost Self unto my God."

Congregation: [singing] Unto my God!

"Glory be to the Bomb, and to the Holy Fallout. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be. World without end. Amen."

"May the Blessings of the Bomb Almighty, and the Fellowship of the Holy Fallout, descend upon us all. This day and forever more."

Congregation: [singing] Amen!

Does that mean my ape cohort and henchmen can't be alchemists?

"Damn. Now how am I going to sacrifice these infidels?""

"Come on, now, Truffles; eat your vitamins, They'll make you big and strong."

Why?

WHY?!

You dare ask ME why?

Don't you know who I am?

Get on the floor and give me one hundred press-ups!

Get back to your commissions, you lazy toad!

<cracks whip>

...uuh...no...get up.
Not like this...must get...up.

...must ride...ride them down like dogs...ride now, before dawn...

...KILL THEM...all of them!....<cough>...huerrgh....

...cut out their eyes...their tongues...<cough>...their women...children...make them pay...aaahh...

...stick it...your sanctimonious hole...cowards!...aargh...oh...weak!...who is with me?...no?...damn you...damn you to Hell...

...we ride, my love...be brave...hold on...I will be with you again...

...Rose..bud...

...eeuuhuurruuurhhgh...

If you are spending so much of your attention to avoid exposing yourself to an attack then you have a much greater chance of prismonouncing the obscure and arcane syllables you're using.

Stand still! Damn you!

<poke>

"How do you like THAT! Eh? Eh?"
"Not so cocky now, are you?"
"You want a piece of me? Eh? Do you?"
"You're weak! Weak! The lot of you! With your mercy, and honour."

"GET UP! GET UP AND FIGHT ME! DAMN YOU!!"

"Get up, you useless streak of bacon! I want to see their GUTS! Hanging from your TUSKS!"

"No treats for you! You don't get your truffles, till I see their MEAT!"

"How do you expect to be given your truffles, IF YOU DON'T EAT YER MEEAT!"

To Malakai:
"Do you think me stupid? You want to fight me, you get up here!"

"Lord, harrass the stunted one...let none escape..."

glowing flail appears

To Alun;

“Still desecrating the memory of your clan and their faith, little dwarf?”

"This is NOT a place for the WEAK! THIS IS HEXTOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!"

<SONIC THUNDERCLAP>