SterlingEdge's page

Please help me expand my list of quotes to use in games. I have gathered a few thus far that I keep on hand while I GM and play to add more depth to NPC/PC conversations.

"Insulting"
You are either an imbecile, or a genius at impersonating an imbecile.
Ignorance is a long way from stupid, but left unchecked, can get there real fast.
My common sense is tingling! (Spider sense)
Some babies were dropped on there heads, you were clearly thrown at a wall.
If you were any more inbred you would be a sandwich
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better argument than that.
Shhh, dont ruin this with words..... Those sound like words.
I spent the last few years on facebook building up an immunity to stupidity.
I am so happy for you, sorry, not for you, I am so happy I am not you.
I am so smart, I make smart people feel like they are retarded.
If you want to get peoples attention you need to get more aggressive or more attractive. Pick one.
I dont dislike you, I nothing you.
your answer was so wrong it almost became right again.

"Threatening"
If violence is not solving all of your problems, you simply are not using enough of it.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies 6 feet under.
If you sass me one more time, Im going to hafta go Super Slap-a-Fool on your ass.
Sit your 5 dollar ass down before I make change.
I see "about to be dead" people...
Russel... Likes to hurt people...For Peace.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but hollow points expand on impact.
In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you
I dont trust anybody I am not close enough to kill
I think its time we settled our differences... Violently.
If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.
--Niccolo Machiavelli
Finish the sentence in the next 2 seconds or start running.
Let me show you what I learned last week in my crotch punching class.
Hows the weather? Sunny with a chance of ass kicking.
I like my people like how I like my coffee... I dont like coffee.
You wanna move or ya wanna find out what fine Italian footwear taste like?

"Diplomatic"
The only honest people in the world are children and drunk people.
Bravery is by far the kindest word for stupidity.
I dont forgive. I understand and move on.
I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request.
it is better to be judged by 12, then to be carried by six
Fire, Water, and government, know nothing of mercy. -Albanian proverb
Religious people are looking for reward, spiritual people are looking for understanding.
For those who believe, no proof is necessary, for those who dont believe, no proof is possible.
What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.
--Albert Pine

"Flirty"
*present a lady a rose, then say "You see?, Oh, I just wanted to show this rose what real beauty
looks like."
I visited the Virgin Islands once, now they’re just "The Islands"
1+1=1, they have a word for that.--Path to Zen

"Awkward"
My super power is turning alcohol into regret.
I cant help it, I am even a bad influence on myself.
Jack dont fashion good. Jack dont fashion good at all.
Anything they can break, I can break broker.

*blink*

Guys...do you...have a sense of humor?

So far in this party, we have a weretiger, and werefalcon, a jester, and now a flying skull. Still no healer, and no sense of humor.

We send the kinder rogue ahead to scout the cavern, he climbs up and into the cavern, he then yells back down to us "Hey guys, there is a big white dragon sleeping up here!" Ice cracks and coins jumble. "No wait, there are two of them sleeping up here!" Two white dragons awaken to see the kinder peeping over the ledge.

Kunoichi, its the term for a female ninja.

When my players critically fail on an attack roll, I have them make a reflex save, if they fail the DC 15 reflex save, they drop there weapon 1d8 feet away (1 or 2 squares) in a random direction (1d8 equating to the direction on a compass).

If they critically fail on a skill check, I give them a save closest to the appropriate skill. If they fail a Kn: Nature roll, then fail the DC 15 Will save, then they truly believe that sunlight will turn a troll to stone.

If they critically fail a swim check, then fail a DC 15 fort save, they drop 10 feet further under water.

I used to award extra XP, back in 2.0. I then started handing everyone a real sword or mace or axe when they walked in the door to play. The players descriptions of attacks got a lot more detailed, and some of the players got scars...

1. Magic is impressive, but now that Minsc leads, SWORDS FOR EVERYONE!

2. Go for the eyes boo go for the eyes yaaargh!

Does Boo count as a ranged weapon?....

So there I was mindin me own bidness when a demon done come along and grabbed me. This was not a pleasant experience. So in the future, how do I keep grappelers in the hurt locker?

So how can I raise my defense against grapple, damage the grappeler with spikes or fire or ice or somethin.

The way I am reading Spiked armor is that I have to return grapple at a -4 to use armor spikes... Though as I see it, if I am covered in spikes and you touch me, yer boned either way.

Wasn't there a scarf that aided in grappled defense checks?

Additional info: Dwarven lvl 1 Warrior/8 Cleric in spiked dwarven plate with a tower shield and circle of protection from evil active.

Apple iStore!

Oh wait.

They just sell apples in various colors and 10 times the price of normal apples. Upon purchasing an apple from this store, you must sign a contract saying you will only eat apples from now on, and they must come from this store. Eating any other item from that point on will cause intestinal distress.

http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/intelligentItems.html

Intelligent item powers. They CAN have skills/ranks, but they cost. See the 4th table down on the link.

So I have a bard in my game who wears cestus to keep from suffering attacks of opportunity while making unarmed spell touch attacks.
(Do spell touch attacks provoke unarmed AoO?)

He also uses them to make attacks of opportunity on bad guys provoking AoO from moving in threatened squares.

Can someone cast spells while wearing cestus?

By RAW it looks like all 3 of these things are totally legit.
Why doesnt every player do this to avoid AoO and get their free AoO on others while being unarmed for the most part?

http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#cestus

Cestus: The cestus is a glove of leather or thick cloth that covers the wielder from mid-finger to mid-forearm. The close combat weapon is reinforced with metal plates over the fingers and often lined with wicked spikes along the backs of the hands and wrists. While wearing a cestus, you are considered armed and your unarmed attacks deal normal damage. If you are proficient with a cestus, your unarmed strikes may deal bludgeoning or piercing damage. Monks are proficient with the cestus. When using a cestus, your fingers are mostly exposed, allowing you to wield or carry items in that hand, but the constriction of the weapon at your knuckles gives you a –2 penalty on all precision-based tasks involving that hand (such as opening locks).

Potion of Bulls Strenth =300 Gold
http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/potions.html#potions

Wand of Magic Missile with 5 charges=75 gold
http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wands.html#wands

Ways to make the adventure better: Sight, Sound, Smell, Touch, maybe Taste.

Example 1:
There are pomegranates on a tree nearby.

Example 2:
You SEE an odd fruit hanging from the tree, it SMELLS sweet, the texture FEELS like that of a wooden orange. As you peel the rind away you HEAR the skin break away to reveal hundreds of bulbous soft seeds. You break away a section of seeds; a citrusy aroma fills the air as the spray of crushed seeds wet your fingers. You pop a small globe into your mouth and it explodes, washing your palate (TASTE) with a quick burst of tartness and sweetness.

1 is the average GM, 2 may be overboard, but it draws the players into the game. Try to spice it up.

1) A village (Let's say XYZ) was attacked by some goblins.
2) Its house and land were totally eradicated.
3) Its village head asked party to get rid of these evil goblins. He also says that some mysterious hole was found at the XXX mountain.
4) Party goes there and finds mysterious hole. They enter and find some dungeon.
5) This dungeon consists of only 3(THREE) rooms, plus 1(ONE) boss area.
6) Party finally defeats goblin's boss and return to the XYZ village.
7) FIN

1) The players are hired to escort a caravan of goods that are going to XYZ town. They are hired by a church to deliver the goods and to help push back any beasts that may be inhabiting the area around the town, no real trouble is expected.

2) Upon arrival the party finds the town empty. Only a few dead bodies lay on the ground. The bodies are marked with sword slashes.

3) The party has to find the village residents, and eliminate the bad things.

4) There are 2 sets of tracks leaving the village. 1 set of humans (DC 12 survival) that lead to a cave near some water. Another set of non humanoid tracks (DC 15 Survival to recognize them as goblinoid).

5) The humans are safe in the alcove. The Goblins are a few miles away, they have taken many of the towns foodstuffs, and the towns children to use as slaves and food.

5a) The goblins hide in a bamboo patch near a cave, there are 4 goblins outside, 2 at the cave entrance, 2 on patrol. If the good guys are smart they can fight them 2 at a time. If the good guys rush in, they have to fight all 4 at once.

5b) Inside the cave there are 3 areas. The first one is the beds of the goblins. There are 10 beds made of leaves and garbage, and a fire pit.

5C) The next room has a 4 goblins in it, 2 archers behind crates, and 2 with pole arms(Spears). The room has a blockade of crates and sticks that the good guys have to dismantle before they can enter melee with the 4 goblins. The goblins can shoot and poke through the blockade. It takes 4 successful strength checks to pull down the blockade. The good guys can shoot through the blockade, but the goblins have cover, providing a 50% miss chance. There are 3 scared human children behind the blockade as well, so the good guys cant burn it down without hurting the kids.

5D) Last cave room:2 goblins and 1 bugbear. 3 caged children. The Bugbear has the keys. The bugbear is new to the caves, he killed the goblin leader and took over, and made the goblins attack the village.

6) Escort the kids to the cave where the parents are hiding. Escort the villagers back to the town. Help the villagers set up defenses in case of future problems.

The world is safe again.

Nice!

Aapch1, I gifted you the Pathfinder Core Rulebook PDF, check your email. Just grab the PDF @ http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/v5748btpy88yj and use the code in the email.

Go ahead and buy the beginner box and and a module or 2. The problem with the Module (I am assuming the Pathfinder Society Scenarios) is that they sometimes reference the beastiary. But most of the antagonists have there own statblocks in the module. Kick back and read the core rulebook PDF, find a Pathfinder Character Generator online to guide you through your first character creation.(I cant link one at the moment). Have fun.

SE