Shouting Off Mountain's page

Well, this is all I've got short of bottling it up or doing this on another forum (that is likely to have just as much problems).

I understand. I tend to write walls of text. There are already a number of rant threads, I guess I see this as a place to get things off your chest. Not everyone has someone to talk to, so anonymity is as good as anything else I guess.

In the end, I’m posting this here because I want to get it off my chest and I don’t really have anyone I’m comfortable enough with to talk about these things. So imagine I’m doing as my namesake.

Why do we all prefer INT? Because I do too... I'm willing to play low-int characters, but it's pretty much the exception...

Dammit this is taking way too long. Who knew oceans could be so huge?

This is why I am happy to be in the socialist dominion of Canada. Our spies are too incompetent to do anything useful. The devils coming out of the hellmouth might change that, but they dont seem to be in a rush...

CURSE YOU COSMO! You keep stealing my bananas... then you taunt me by favoriting my posts... SOB...

SOM collapses into the fetal position and starts gently rocking

My usual thought while eating steak at a restaurant did happen though... "I could have cooked it better". They used a fairly standard method, using the high heat to cook it to the desired temp. And they achieved a very nice medium rare, but I just prefer the reverse sear method (described in a previous post).

I always feel that way with salmon. I never take it when I eat out anymore because everyone seems to want to make it super dry. When you cook it just right, salmon melts in your f'n mouth. But they never get ut right. I manage it about 90% of the time, but you've got to keep you eye on it.

S O M: carrots, celery and broccoli you say? Rice you say? Grab your soy sauce, favorite oil and a protein if you so desire, and kick your laziness in the butt!

Stir Fry your gear! It doesn't take a pro wok or anything fancy and it's like 5 minutes. When I'm feeling particularly lazy for dinner I grab a bag of frozen veg (I know - not healthy) and throw it in some hot oil. Splash in some soy and basically just heat it up then throw over rice or spaghetti.

If I'm NOT feeling lazy, I take the time to add some raw stuff and some diced chicken. If I'm particularly fancy some night I'll concoct a marinade with junk in the fridge and some corn starch.

MUAHHHHH... I really should. But my butt is lazy... I've had a nasty head-ache for the last few days, and I'm at work completely unable to concentrate (no thanks to the messageboards) so I'm grsigfnoidgnnnnnnnnjk. I'm not in a good head-place right now.

Frozen veggies are actually pretty decent health-wise. Freezing removes none of thegood stuff (unlike heavy cooking or canning) and if you only defrost the vegetables (rather than boil them) they are fairly close to fresh. Though I have only observed this with generic frozen veggies (IE corn, peas, mixed vegetables). The branded stuff (arctic garden & the like) tends to be oversaturated the vegetable with water or use vegetables that freeze poorly.

Isn't that the entire reason restaurants were invented?

Me also on a budget. I can afford decent stuff, if I make it myself. And as for restaurants... if I can afford their prices, I can make it better myself. (The sole exception being junk food, which I try to keep away from my place, so as to not tempt my poor food related self-control. Which is why I have a fridge filled with raw carrots, celeri & brocoli for snacking)...

I actually have been putting on some weight (something between 10-15 pounds in the last 5 months) and while I'm not dieting, I am at least trying to moderate my intake & eat healthy stuff as well.

Uh... my laziness has been overcoming me. I've been living of pasta & rice for the last week cause I'm too lazy to make anything more elaborate... I want good food but me too lazy...

In the socialist dominion of Canada , we must all have cold resistance 10 & snowglide, otherwise survival is impossible. Temperature has been yo-yoing between -40 & 0, but the mounds of snow stay.

Apparently there is a hotel in my head.

Anyway the last couple of days have been without incident. I mut have traveled nearly... 500 miles? Why did I have to land in the middle of an ocean. And still no clothing.

Well, poutine is the bomb. I can still fly in Canada (not nude obviously, but still). Then there's family, my studies at the magical academy, and other things.

Another day of flying over ze ocean... hope to get somewhere soon. It's foggy today.

Lovely. More reason to stay in the socialist dominion of Canada. Despite the hellmouth being created in Alberta.

Well, another day of flying. Finally, there was nothing on the horizon. Have you been casting illusions in my brain Janus? HMMMM!

In any case, endure elements seems to be working. I havent tanned dangerously. Who knew that spell acted as sunscreen!

I blame cosmo for taking all the bananas AGAIN! What is it with you & bananas!

{looks around nervously} Whatever you do, don't try to burn it again... you'll likely summon an OSS evangelist swarm, or worse... a mythic neckbeard!

Do you mean the contract, or my own growing neckbeard? THere aint exactly much to burn.

Hmm. Might be seeing some land on the horizon, but I'm pretty high up, so it might still be a few days of travel...

Looks like another day of lonely flying ahead. Hope I get to sovyarin sometime soon, this is just annoyingly long.

@Legion janus: unfortunately, I cannot burn the microsoft service agreement, it is in some unreadable format nobody can use.

Yeah, but burning the contract also means you are now out of toilet paper.

When you fly above the ocean, the whole world is your bidet.

I did do a few barrel rolls. It was fun.

Ok, so I've managed to survive the night. Burning the contract provided some well-needed warmth. Didnt manage to fashion a toga out of it. Well, guess I'm starting another 70 miles of flight. Looks like the clouds might be clearing up... uhg, I'm expecting a nasty sunburn. I've got endure elements up at least. Dont know if it does anything about sunburn.

Which species of ooze do you believe is most likely to win the Mr. Universe competition, and why? How about the Ms. Universe competition, and why?

Shouting Off Mountain wrote:

Which is your favorite empyreal lord tied to sexuality: Arshea or Lymnieris, and why?

I actually haven't worked much on the Empyreal Lords beyond Sarenrae herself, and as such am not really familiar enough with them to pick sub-category favorites like this quite yet.

That's a too bad; the empyreal lords are quite interesting & diverse and it would be cool to see them used more. Leaf through chronicles of the righteous if you ever have the time.

NEXT

Which demon lord do you believe would be the cooler mom: Nocticula or Lamashtu, and why?

Shouting Off Mountain wrote:

Legion Janus wrote:

I finished talking with my bosses. They agreed to the interplanetary teleport. There may be mild side-effects; mortals tend not to be able to wave their arms the right way to properly pronounce the second-to-last syllable. But, shouldn't be anything harmful.

Well, unless you're that Ash guy. We gave him a similar spell and he mispronounced it so badly he teleported the planet he was on into a gas giant. The Temporal Recursion Department was not happy with us needing a Chronos Reset Device to undo that.

Considering what brought me here, and the fact that I'm flying nude, I'm not sure how reliable it would be. Plus, I havent even had the chance to finish reading the first contract (I had to drop it a while back, it was slowing me down).

No need to read the contract! It's mostly just a bunch of overcomplicated ways of saying you're giving us a mere trifle in exchange for unlimited power...

Sign this second contract!

Thanks! I'll try to fashion a makeshift Toga out of it later. Maybe burn some of it to keep me warm. Never sign it though. Overland flight is nearing it's 9 hour limit.

Make two rope tricks, one inside the other. Go to the astral instead.

Would that be any better? If I remember my cosmology properly, locations in the planes arent connected planet to planet (if I remember distant worlds properly).

slipstream if you feel like surfing, for 90 min;

beast shape for 9 more min;

ride the waves would be snazzy; another 9 hours of bopping along.

While I could go it the ocean, the frequent presence of giant tentacles makes in unappealing.

I could cast lesser planar binding to have an outsider help me, but I dont think I have to cha to pull it off (I do have magic circle though). Any ideas of what I could summon?

WHY IS THERE TRAFFIC IN MY HEAD!!!!

Edit: Looks like I've calmed down a little. The voices are a bit quieter and I've learned a lesson:

-NEVER LAND ON AN ISLAND COVERED IN AN OLD RUIN. NEVER-EVER-NEVER.

Well, I still have a few hours left on my flight spell. Hoping to find something (NOT HORRIBLE) by then.

{bobs tipsily alongside sipping an Ol' Janx Spirit martini} If it helps, remember that the secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing. Also, here, you can borrow my towel (sorry about the turnip stains).

{waving tentacle} Stay hoopy, you frood. {turns on imaginary blinker, takes imaginary offramp to imaginary M25 London orbital motorway}

NO! NO TENTACLES! NO MORE!

1d20 + 9 ⇒ (17) + 9 = 26

Shouting off mountain did NOT contract a random insanity

No. NOOO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! OH GOD WHY NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

It has been cloudy, but you do raise a point Mad Hermit. Damn it I need clothes. I've got most level 1-2 spells in my spellbook, and a few free slots (and Fast Study), any idea what could help me?

Hmm... I'm seeing something on the horizon. Couldnt be Sovyarin (unless I royaly screwed up my calculations) but there's something.

I finished talking with my bosses. They agreed to the interplanetary teleport. There may be mild side-effects; mortals tend not to be able to wave their arms the right way to properly pronounce the second-to-last syllable. But, shouldn't be anything harmful.

Well, unless you're that Ash guy. We gave him a similar spell and he mispronounced it so badly he teleported the planet he was on into a gas giant. The Temporal Recursion Department was not happy with us needing a Chronos Reset Device to undo that.

Considering what brought me here, and the fact that I'm flying nude, I'm not sure how reliable it would be. Plus, I havent even had the chance to finish reading the first contract (I had to drop it a while back, it was slowing me down).

Refined sugar is very bad for you, Shouting Off Mounties, and I'm going to be charitable and blame a build-up of naughty toxins for this display of pseudo-revolutionary ultra-leftist phrasemongering, the likes of which I have struggled against for all of my 500 year lifespan. It's all too much - soon, soon I will bugger off to Twinkly Island, with the unicorns and the nymphs and Queen Ellesime and Galadriel at the same flipping time. Or, if I'm bad, it'll be nothing but whale meat and Sigur Ros for all eternity.

No, no, the devils told us to throw the unicorns and the nymphs in the hellmouth as well. If them ladys you're talking about are elves, we'll throw them in too.

I should say, the candy isnt terribly sweet. It feels awesome, but it isnt sweet.

Good thing I'm flying 200 feet above a roiling sea, in bright sun, with no attics for miles around.

Although apparently, the voices in my head are getting crowded. Maybe the grue will clean them up a bit. Take care of Groovieinnerchild first, he's been distracting.

How does one pluralize Chris? Everything sounds akward in my mind.

1d20 - 1 ⇒ (8) - 1 = 7
Well, that's my perform(mime) check. Damn that -1 CHA (not: I'm assuming I can do untrained)

Edit: unfortunately, no success. I guess I'll continue flying. Might take a few days. At least the tentacles havent shown up in a few hours.

Anybody know a way to speed this up? I'm only going about 70 miles per overland flight, and I only have 1/day, so I dont think I'll get anywhere soon. It looked like quite a long distance when I fell from orbit.

Candy, huh? Hmmm, well, that might change things. I'd have to think about it. I like candy.

They did say to avoid those icky demons (apparently they are also plutocrats). They did ask us to find more people, but apparently we weren't understanding right (something about symbols & clerics or summat), so they told us to stick to shiny paladins & elves. Candy from the struggle of the people has never tasted so good!

{knocks on imaginary door} LarvaGram™ for Mongo.

I'm afraid you've got the wrong number, there is no mongo here, just shouting. Also, I'm trying to fly, so I'm hoping not to be too distracted.

But the devils are our friends... they said the would help us defeat the pinkskins, and they gave us candy! They also said something about throwing all the shiny paladins into the hellmouth. Then MOAR candy.

I will have to agree with Orthos comrade anklebiter, the icelandic peoples are confusing elves with gnomes. Elves are worst plutocrats than the pinksins (they CONTROL the pinkskins)

Shouting Off Mountain wrote:

I am, how do you say, confused Comrade Anklebiter. In the socialist dominion of Canada, we fought long & hard to banish the bourgeois elves from our nation. They appropriate the forests of the people, they murder the honest & hardworking dwarves (and goblins) using their terrible bows, and they dominate the people using their wretched magic (which they claimed was for "protection"). We had to tear down their damned silver towers! And you say we should liberate them!

Wait...since when do dwarves or goblins work hard? I think you are confused.

They sure where working hard at killing those elven plutocrats, that's for sure!

Apparently the voices in my head are also on drugs, as well as demonic. Hm. A few tentacles came out of the ocean earlier, gave me quite a fright. Good thing I have no clothing to wet. Still no land in sight.

I am, how do you say, confused Comrade Anklebiter. In the socialist dominion of Canada, we fought long & hard to banish the bourgeois elves from our nation. They appropriate the forests of the people, they murder the honest & hardworking dwarves (and goblins) using their terrible bows, and they dominate the people using their wretched magic (which they claimed was for "protection"). We had to tear down their damned silver towers! And you say we should liberate them!

Usually the voices in my head dont offer me contracts. Plus, unless it's interplanetary teleport, teleport at will isnt terribly useful in this instance (since I have been nowhere on this planet).

Well, after an 9-hour flight, I used roped trick to set myself up a little place to rest (thank the heavens for that spell). I've prepared another overland flight today, though it looks like it will take a while.

Which is your favorite empyreal lord tied to sexuality: Arshea or Lymnieris, and why?

So, after a number of unfortunate incidents (involving a chicken, some industrial lubricant, 2 cucumbers, 7 kumquats, 1 scroll of interplanetary teleportation & a primal magic zone) has left me stranded in the middle of the ocean on castrovel. Luckily, I had overland flight prepared today, so I'm not dead yet. James Jacobs has recommended I go to Sovyarin (I'm about equidistant from the 3 main continents) but I'm looking for advice on how to survive. I remember hearing that there are elves there, and that they arent friendly to humans. So I would gladly ask for everyone's help & advice to get me back to my native land, the socialist dominion of Canada. I am a 9th level wizard, who unfortunately does not have teleport in his spellbook. I am currently naked, save for my spellbook & spell component pouch.

As a native of the socialist dominion of Canada (currently trapped on Castrovel) I understand your claims. 90% of our land is empty, cold, barren wastelands. All our population is concentrated on the border with the US, which has been eating into farming lands.

Australia, Cananda (and certain other countries like Russia) do not have to worry about lacking space. That's for the folks just north of you. (IE ASIA!) (And a bit Europe).