HOHOHOHOOO!! OH, THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES AS YOU RAN FOR YOUR LIVES THROUGH TUCKER'S KOBOLDS' GAUNTLET!! AHAAHAHAHAHAAA!!! YOU THOUGHT THAT GAS SPORE WAS REALLY A BEHOLDER, OLAF!! HAHAHAHAHAAA!! AND THE "HINDENBURG" CHAMBER... OH! HAHAHAHAAA!! Rumplestilskin rocks back and forth, holding his sides, his face red, his eyes watering...
Okay... Okay... Haha... I'll tell ye what she's done! She's given the eggs as hostage to three different caretakers in exchange for treasure and alliance! One she gave to the Ottoman Sultan of the Turks, Murad II! Another she gave to the father, the copper dragon, Kupferflügel! And the third, she gave to YOUR lord, he says, leering and pointing at Earl Olaf, Duke of Gloucester, Humphrey of Lancaster!
HAHAHAHAHAAARRR!!! laughs the old gnome at Badger's irritated expression. It be no trick o' mine, lassy!! Nay! It be your dragon Grossevapour who plays the tricks this time! Hahahahahaaa!!
Rumplestiltskin leers gleefully at the consternation on the faces of his most recent favorite playthings...
At that moment, the Company of the Beryllium Dragon are surprised by the sudden appearance out of thin air of their recently acquainted and somewhat antagonistic "career coach", Rumplestiltskin, gnome trickster archmage supreme!
I love to be the bearer of bad news! Hahahaha!! Guess what your not-so-motherly turquoise dragon friend Grossevapour has done with the precious eggs you worked so hard to conceive! HEEHEEHEEHEEEE!!!
Very well, very well...
Procuring a crystallized hag's eye from a pocket of his multicolored coat, the wizened gnome casts a divination, muttering ancient rhymes...
Ah! There! I see the Bear! Smoking fur and gnashing teeth! In front of oriental castle, methinks, an oriental dragon seeks to do him in!
Nearly scared to death by the sudden appearance in his Stump-house of the world's most lethal mouser and deadliest swordscat, PusInBoots, the old gnome trickster falls off his stool and spills his porridge all over his curly white beard!
CONFOUND IT, PUSINBOOTS! You nearly stopped my old ticker, you disrespectful rapscallion! What in the Black Forest are you shouting about!?
Indeed, Your Holiness! Rumplestilskin has turned over a new leaf! Toodle-Loo!
You’re most welcome, Your Holiness! Glad to be of service! Maybe we can just put that unpleasant business about kidnapping the Holy Roman Emperor and holding him for ransom at the cloud giants’ castle behind us and start over on a fresh new leaf, aye?
Rumplestilskin appears before the pope in the afternoon of the second day of January, and presents himself as a “friend of Johann the Bear”, which the pope receives with some bemusement...
Your Holiness, I have put together a care package for my good friend, Johann the Bear, which I believe will make the execution of his noble quest a piece of cake, as it were... I, Rumplestilskin, have invented these very useful items which all fit together in this magical bag of holding... A rope of climbing woven from the hair of the maiden Rapunzel... a decanter of endless water given by Princess Ariel of the Mermaids... a spoon of sustenance from Old Mother Hubbard... sovereign glue from old Humpty Dumpty...some universal solvent to unstick the glue... Just about everything an adventurer could want or need on an adventure! I’m certain that the bards will sing of Rumplestilskin’s marvelous magic items, which made the completion of Johann’s noble quest possible!
Something to that effect, my lady...
Grinning and bowing deeply before Mother Goose, the Duchess of Gooseland, Rumplestilskin replies in Sylvan: I knew I could count on you, Mother Goose! Johann could count on you... Many thanks to you, Fair Duchess of Gooseland!
You ought not speak so rudely to a fellow who could easily arrange for Mister Humpty Dumpty to have another great fall...
Intimidation 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (14) + 5 = 19 succeeds!
HOHOHOHOOO!! HAHAHAHAAA!! HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEE!!! In Sylvan: The look on your face be priceless, Dumpty! Oh my! Sorry to have startled you, old chap... What I want is some of that magical glue that Mother Goose finally used to put you back together again after your unfortunate, but quite hilarious, fall...
Rumplestilskin's brow furrows and his eyes shift about as he thinks...
Uh... Yeah, sure... I'll make certain no one else is drowned or hurt in the shipwreck... Saving Prince Eric shall be up to ye, Your Highness!
My apologies, yes, Johann is also my friend... I mean no harm with my friendly jest... We both call each other names... a sign of our mutual endearment! Haha! So... About that decanter?
Thank you, I thought so too, Your Highness! Why would the pope choose a big oaf like Johann for an important quest, and not a powerful wizard like me, for instance!? It's...it's...inconceivable!!
The gears spin in Rumplestilskin's devious little head...
if I can convince this little mermaid nitwit that I can make this Prince Eric fall in love with her... Maybe she'll hand over that decanter of endless water to sweeten the honey pot for the Bear...
What if I could find a way to make Prince Eric notice ye... Not only that, I could arrange a royal shipwreck! Ye can save him from drowning, and he will surely ask ye to be his bride! Would ye trade thine decanter for such a deed?
What is it, Your Highness? You can tell your old pal Rump...
Well, remember when you showed me that nifty aquamarine decanter with the wave motif on it? The one you recovered from that ancient sunken galley?
In Danish: No mischief, Your Highness! I’m here on behalf of good Johann Kaltgeboren, that kindly Bear of the Black Forest, protector of all the forest’s innocent creatures... Surely, sweet princess, ye wouldn’t refuse a request from your old pal Rumplestilskin, who seeks to do a good deed to help the goodly Bear Johann on a noble quest for the pope himself...would ye?
Mein süßes Mädchen, ich würde dich nicht mit solchen langweilen ... Laß nur einen Eimer am Ende deiner Haare runter, und ich werde darin ein Messer legen, das scharf genug ist, um ein Schloß deines schönen goldenen Haares leicht zu durchtrennen ...
Rumplestilskin holds up a gleaming jeweled dagger he produces from a haversack on his back...
Ja, ich weiß, schöne Jungfrau, deshalb brauche ich deine Haare. Es ist für Johann Kaltgeboren...
Rumplestilskin stands in the grassy meadow in which stands the high tower of Rapunzel, hands folded politely, supplicatingly, in front of him, smiling like a fox...
No...f@&$ing...way!... What’s he doing down there!? That looks like the catacombs under Rome... And he’s with a bunch of others...including a cardinal of the Roman Church! Why, that Bear is getting a little too big for his pantaloons!... How’d he wind up in the Roman Catacombs with a cardinal and other adventurers types? He must be on some kind of important quest for the Pope! ...I can’t let that big fat honey gobbler steal all the fun and glory! How can I work an angle on this...
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Meanwhile, in the Black Forest of the Holy Roman Empire...
*sigh!* I’m bored. The scheme to hold the Emperor for ransom in the cloud giants’ castle was foiled by that uppity cat-wizard, Prospero Blue, and his goody-two-shoes paladin friend, Tunes D’Holiday... What new trouble can I stir up?... I miss old Johann. He was always fun to pull pranks on... wonder what he’s doing right now?... Well, i’ll just pull out my trusty crystal ball and have a peek...
The bored and mischievous Rumplestilskin produces a clear orb, into which he gazes as he chants an incantation to scry on his old pal Johann...
Casts scry on Johann, who gets a Will saving throw vs DC 18 to resist...
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