Mrs. Jonson Sr.'s page

"Nah, get someone else to give you advice too. I don't want you whining about me screwing up your life later."

"Don't." Mrs. Johnson objects. "She chose her god and that's fine. If she has a problem with you choosing different, then that's her problem, not yours."

"Apologising for your life decisions that are yours to take is a slippery slope you shouldn't step on. You'll end up at the mercy of others to be allowed to live the life you want."

"It's nice to see her again, but lets not overdo it. There is a reason we live that far apart and don't see each other often." Mrs. Johnson replies.

"But you haven't told what option of 'not working' you want to pursue to get the life of your dreams." she teases Tarjun.

"As Gods have existed before this world, I guess they can do without us. But if your goals as a god are for this world and the people therein, you are not getting anywhere with that if no one believes in you."

"Rovagug on the other hand would do his own bidding of wanton destruction and could do without any followers if he ever gets loose."

"I see, the concept of irony is lost on followers of Erastil." Mrs. Johnson replies.

"Listen - everyone their own. If you're content with the life in a community like this, enjoy it. But if you tell the world would be a better place if all did that, that is a blatant lie and an offense to Desna."

"And lumping Desna together with that Elven... godess is just insulting."

In general it seems Jewel found a sore spot of Mrs. Johnson.

"I've become so used to being dissatisfied that the ever-present feeling of frustration is a comforting constant in my life." Mrs. Johnson replies.

"Isn't that in the teachings of Erastil?" she inquires from Jewel.

"For you I have bad news. If you don't manage to become a really powerful wizard - which you won't because you're lazy - instant satisfaction of all your wishes is not going to happen."

"For things to make you happy, they need to be an achievement. Or a gift of some kind. If everything just falls in your lap, it will be boring tomorrow."

"I'm good with my life. I got stories to tell with no end, and if I wanted I could pack my stuff and travel around the world again. I just don't feel like it today."

"Hey, YOU might like Oaksteadt, to each their own. But not liking it and being stuck here - that is what makes a life miserable. And once you marry here and have kids, there is no way you get out of here if not for a miracle or a catastrophe."

"What I'm trying to say is: Know what you want and how to get it. Riches alone won't make you happy. And some things you can't buy with money."

"Caravan guards at first. Then treassure hunting. All kind of dangerous stuff. The more dangerous it was, the more money could be earned. A lot of that money went into expensive gear." Mrs. Johnson tells.

"We even killed a dragon and took its hoard. In our best days, we could have walked into Oaksteadt and buy the whole thing. Not just what it is worth, but to put so much gold on the table that they couldn't refuse." She lets those words linger for a while.

"But in the end what is all the money in the world if all you could buy would be some kind of Oaksteadt. No matter if it is this one, or a villa in Magnimar. Both are boring neighborhoods."

Thinking about it you notice that Mrs. Johnson's home is basically the same as Oaksteadt. It is smaller, but it is a house with farming for vegetables attached.

"Do I hear someone who wants to change religion?" Mrs. Johnson inquires. "Like, f+!~ this backwater village, I'm going to forge a fate for myself with fun, adventure and riches?"

"I chose that and I still believe it was the best decision ever. Better die trying for a better life, than being dead inside while alive in Oaksteadt. But many choose the safety of the community over freedom. And even if you try your best, your daughter can turn out as such a sissy."

She finally turns her head to look Tarjun in the eyes. "Do you have it in you, to tell your parents that you don't want any part in their future life and will leave to make a fortune?"

"I enjoy every minute knowing that I don't have to live here." Mrs. Johnson replies without looking away from whatever it is she observes. "What do you want." She takes another sip from her cup.

Someone has actually seen Mrs. Jonson Sr. but not Tarjun. The kids are pointed in the right direction.

Mrs. Johnson sits under a tree in the shade drinking some tea, watching the lumberjacks working.

"Thank you." Mrs. Johnson comments. "You're not really considering to hand anyone over to that bastard's care, do you?" she inquires rolling her eyes at Gertrud.

"Don't mention it. What else should I do? Keep them?"

"Yeah right, I brought one more kid than you lost. And I'm not taking him back with me."

"I can confirm that we have an abandoned ship mooring close to Annesley since the kids knocked on my door. The rest you have to take their word for." Mrs. Jonson Sr. comments.

"Hello Gertrud. I see, the pleasure is all mine." Mrs. Johnson replies in kind. She musters the interior of the house.

Once the group closes in on the house Mrs. Johnson tells Tarjun "Walk over to your house and get your parents. I don't want to tell everything twice."

"Still the old charmer, and helpful as always." Mrs. Johnson replies with a look that would make a lake freeze over.

"Move on kid, we're here to meet someone else." She puts a hand on Jewels back partly for consiling, partly to move her along.

Those who can connect the dots find, that the free spirited, "let every man find heaven in their own fashion" attitude of Desna can have a hard, stone cold side if someone tries to take that freedom by bullying.

She doesn't stop, but simply moves on to the Johnson house.

"You're living in this backwater dump. If you can't tell if we're there, I for sure can't. How many sawmills are there on that river?" Mrs. Johnson replies slightly annoyed.

"Hopefully not." Mrs. Johnson sighs. "Less talking, faster walking!"

A sly smile hushes over the face of Mrs. Johnson. "It's not important how I met my boy. You should see that you find someone who likes the same things as you like. If you like dancing go looking for someone at the village dance. If you don't like dancing, look for those that don't dance."

"And if you don't know what you like, that's the first thing to find out, before you look for a spouse."

Mrs. Johnson snickers and mumbles "Poor Randolph."

"Magmimar is one of the biggest cities around. I don't know if you could put Annesley ten or a hundred times into Magnimar. And it has a city guard and a prison. So I'd say it is pretty safe, if you're not a pirate. Especially if you are wealthy and can live in the better parts of it."

"It is far away if you've never been out of your village. But for far travelled adventurers like you are, it's just another boat trip away." Mrs. Johnson jokes.

"It is boring as hell and I'd sit together with the same five people all the time. Why would I do that? I've been pondering leaving Annesley at times because it is just a small town in the middle of nowhere."

"So if you ever ponder moving to Magnimar or something, please tell me. I might come along."

"We lived here most of her childhood. I don't really know why she left the town. She married Randolf and together they decided to become hillbillies."

"We only see each other when she comes for shopping, like once a year or so. And now a second time."

"To everyone their own. That's why Gertrud moved into the woods and I didn't"

"Civilization is a good thing. Where there are no trees, there are no wolves or bears hiding that will jump at you and eat you. And you need a lot of wood for building a city. And all the people need wood for their hearths. So it's a win-win for the people. And there is more than enough forest left."

"You go tyour bag with food. You can eat on the way. It's a long way and I don't want to clean up again before we can leave." Mrs. Johnson tells Tarjun.

"Not a bad idea, but hurry." she tells Jewel.

Once all are out of the house she locks it with a big iron key. Then she leads to the river, to walk upstream.

The next morning Mrs. Johnson wakes you all before sunrise. She is already in full travelling garb and has her stuff packed for the journey.

Either she is eager to get on the way, or eager to get you out of the house - hard to tell. She also has lunch pack prepared for everyone. "Out of bed already. Get ready for the way home, we're leaving soon."

Mrs. Johnson sighs. "For sure you're not taking it to bed. They s!%$ all the time and I don't want that inside. Put it back into the stable."

"Tomorrow you can take it along. I'll put it on the list of things Gertrud has to pay for."

"Each their own." Mrs. Johnson replies to Jewel.

"Your beds are prepared upstairs. Once you are there, it's silence. I'm going to bed already. Good night."

Mrs. Johnson chuckles. "I have rabbits. And back in the day I told Clara not to get too attached to them, because they will become Starday roast. She didn't get it back then. But ever since all my bunnies are named Stardayroast according to Clara."

Disarm: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (1) + 11 = 12
Disarm: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (2) + 6 = 8

Mrs. Johnson smirks as Tarjun gets bold and tries to get her off her feet - not even close. But her attempt to disarm him fails. "Anyway, I don't think my carrots can take any more of your training."

Trip: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (7) + 10 = 17
While Tarjun shakes his foot and doesn't pay attention, Mrs. Johnson swipes him off his feet.

"This is a fight, no practice in diplomacy. I told you the consequences when you step on my vegetables. No 'I'm sorry' is going to change that. Once you swing your weapon at someone, talking is over."

"Get up."

Standing in full defense, Mrs. Johnson easily parries the attack. "Not bad. Again."

Somehow the rules are not very supportive of the idea to dance between carrots. So lets add a necessary DC10 Acrobatics check to stand balanced between the vegetables. If you fail, you can choose, if you are unbalanced, and will fall if hit, or if you step on a vegetable.

"Some basic rules" Mrs Johnson explains.

"First, you don't need to worry about me, I can take care of myself, and if you manage to hit me, I can take it."

"As for the training - make sure you stand in a stable stance." She takes her stick points it at Tarjun's chest and then slightly pushes him, to give him an idea, what she is talking about.

Taking the stick back in two hands, she challenges him "If you are ready, attack me."

"I hope a good one, but I leave the grading to you once you're taught. We'll fight with sticks, so no cuts. But you have a fair chance to get bruised if you don't pay attention." Mrs. Johnson warns.

As Pierce inquires about her weapon, she explains "That is a proper staff for fighting. With a few perks that help if someone brings abyssal or hellish companions."

"Tarjun, get your stick and come to the garden."

She leads the way and takes her fighting stance between carrots and onions.

Mrs. Johnson chuckles when Tarjun backpedals on his clear statement.

After the meal Mrs. Johnson disappears shortly and returns with a proper stick of her own. A seven foot long staff made of a dark wood that is very light, and has a metal cap on each end that is about a foot long.

You also notice that she is wearing a silver chain shirt under her blouse. "I'm ready for our training. Are you?"

Mrs. Johnson rolls her eyes at Clara showing off. She inhales as if to object to Jewel's assumptions, but then decides to enjoy her bowl of soup instead.

"That depends. Not before we ate supper. And don't you dare gulping your soup down to tell me you are done with it. We'll take our time to enjoy this meal, talk a bit and then..."

Mrs. Johnson looks at the other kids "If someone can provide proper light, so we are not fighting in the dark. Because that is a later lesson."

"Sure, if you want to learn how to use your 'walking stick' properly I can show you." Mrs. Johnson replies.

"But don't be mistaken. Weapon training is no fun. It is hard work and a long series of disappointments, as it will open your eyes to all your current shortcomings."

"But it is highly preferable to finding out about your shortcomings in a real fight. So it is a worthy endeavour."

"That is a reasonable approach when it comes to killing people." Mrs. Johnson replies to Pierce. "You Miss Johnson, are definitely too chipper when talking about taking soneone's life. That is a slippery slope you shouldn't tread on."

"The only things you should work on with knives and axes are plants. Chopping wood and cutting vegetables."

As Jewel calls for supper Mrs. Johnson suggests "Let's move the talking inside."

From inside you hear Mrs. Johnson shouting "Keep your hands off the weapons!" and you hear hurried steps coming halfway down the stairs.

Then the steps continue calmly. Once Mrs. Johnson reaches the stairs the kids are sitting she inquires "Why would you want to learn that?"

"You can't please everyone it seems." Mrs. Johnson comments "Now it is up to you to make a decision what goes into the soup and what not." She pats Jewel on the back and leaves going upstairs.

"If you know what you're doing, there are some fresh herbs in the garden. I don't have any fancy spices."

She puts down the carrots, a leek, an onion and one piece of celery and two hands full of green beans. "You want to prepare it? Fine with me. Smoked bacon, or garlic saussage?"

Mrs. Jonson listens to the story, carefully watching one kid after the other, to see their reactions. Sometimes she looks at the door. Like she is waiting for Gertrud and Randolf to burst in, calling 'April's Fools'. and everyone starting to laugh.

The story is ridiculously unbelievable yet still the kids are sitting here. After thorough interrogation of all kids to convict them of lying she gives up. She buries her face in her hands. "I'm too old for this s@%#."

She gets up, walks to the window to look out, comes back and states "Let's make supper."

"Outside is a wooden vat. Clara, you get water to fill that vat. Tarjun, Pierce, you dig out potatoes for us five and wash them in the vat. Then you peel them. Knives are over there. Jewel, you make a fire in the hearth and set up a large pot with some water for soup. Wood is behind the house."

Mrs. Johnson leads the way into the vegetable garden behind the house and points everyone in the right direction. Then she goes to collect some additional vegetables for the soup.

"I only don't want any of you do something stupid. Of course you get your stuff back when you leave."

Mrs. Johnson puts the bucket back to its place and closes the door after Pierce is in and follows to the kitchen. She puts five mugs on the table and a large jug with water. "Take an apple if you like."

She takes a seat. "Now again, why are you here without your parents?"

Mrs. Johnson takes the 'nice stick' out of the bucket, weights it in her hand and without telegraphing it she makes it whistle through the air and over Tarjun's head in one smooth motion that ends with her using it to rest on.

"Your walking stick - what a waste of a good stick. Also I've read Lord of the Rings. No one smuggles a 'walking stick' in here. You can sit without it. Go in."

"That leaves you Pierce, a Rahadoumi? In Annesley?"

"I'd prefer the bird not pooping onto my furniture. How you manage that is your responsibility. And you look reasonable. You'll tell me all those details that Clara glanced over. Go in."

Mrs. Johnson pats Clara on the head and raises a brow. Without taking her eyes off the other kids she tells Clara "Get in, sit down at the table in the kitchen."

Once Clara is on her way, Mrs. Johnson reaches for a bucket hidden next to the door and puts it in sight on the top stairs. "All weapons go into this bucket. If I find a weapon left on you, I'll kick you out. If I find you touching anything in the house that wasn't offered to you, I'll kick you out. This is your one chance for a roof over the head for the night. There are no second chances. Are we clear?"