Rel

Mah Uncle Meepo's page

49 posts. Alias of Kobold Cleaver.


RSS


Sebastian's Ghost wrote:
Secretlyreplacedwith wrote:
Sebastian's Ghost wrote:
This thread is only big enough for one pompous windbag, move along you!
It's kind of difficlut to "move along" when you are an all-encompassing, universe-spanning, superior being. I guess you find it easier to do.

*sputter*

You'll rue the day you messed with my superior intellect, you kobold-kissing troglodyte!

Hey! Leave us outta it! *Readies gun*

And leave the trogs outta it, too! They're offended!


"You nearly died then. We were barely able to save you. We never dreamed of how important you would be. Kobold Cleaver, come back to the side of light."


Mah Aunt Esmarelda wrote:
Mah Uncle Meepo wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:
Mah Uncle Meepo wrote:

Meepo flies in, a ring of flight visible on his finger.

"Lyn, listen. I need to tell you a few things. First of all, Alaina saw Serafina, and upset her a great deal. Rio seemed very angry. I tried to convince him to avoid her, but you need to be very careful."
"Yes, I know. I will try to talk with Alaina. We should not be fighting amongst ourselves."
"Second...okay, this is for Frogskin to tell you, not I. But third, is...Esmerelda!"
"Yes? She asks, appearing.n She smugly floats in the air.

"It's time to tell her what's happening."


lynora-Jill wrote:
Mah Uncle Meepo wrote:

Meepo flies in, a ring of flight visible on his finger.

"Lyn, listen. I need to tell you a few things. First of all, Alaina saw Serafina, and upset her a great deal. Rio seemed very angry. I tried to convince him to avoid her, but you need to be very careful."
"Yes, I know. I will try to talk with Alaina. We should not be fighting amongst ourselves."

"Second...okay, this is for Frogskin to tell you, not I. But third, is...Esmerelda!"


Meepo flies in, a ring of flight visible on his finger.
"Lyn, listen. I need to tell you a few things. First of all, Alaina saw Serafina, and upset her a great deal. Rio seemed very angry. I tried to convince him to avoid her, but you need to be very careful."


Nstrivaxon, the Cunning wrote:

A number of baatezu are spotted a short way off from the gates of the Sanctum apparently discussing something, but when Sunny G sends out someone to investigate them, they make themselves scarce.

A short while later the politician is discovered to have vanished.
There is a note which it looked like he was writing where he was last seen which starts:
'My dear Sir,
I must apologise for the unpleasant'

...and it abruptly ends there.

Meepo sighs.

"Oh crap. The Yugoloths are not going to be happy about this. Remember, Rio, do not go after Alaina. Even if you spare her, she may not do the same, in the state she's in. If you are too selfish to avoid that risk, then clearly Serafina needs a better guardian."
He takes out a scroll and, speaking some words, vanishes.


"You would be surprised. People kill sometimes, without planning to, in blind rage."
Meepo sighs. He looks older than ever, his scales gone a muddy grey, his eyes looking very, very tired.
"I have to go."


Rio, Pokemon Trainer wrote:
Mah Uncle Meepo wrote:

Meepo watches Saeroth vanish, then turns to Serafina.

"You alright? Should I send for Rio? Why did he leave you here in the first place?"

"I didn't leave her here! Being to angry to talk can make conversation difficult!"

And I was doing chores around the house at the time...

"I am warning you, Rio. Do not pit yourself against Alaina. No matter who wins, a friend will be killed. I advise you to leave here, before she comes back. Remember, Sunny may or may not be ion her side, but that's not a risk worth taking."


Meepo watches Saeroth vanish, then turns to Serafina.
"You alright? Should I send for Rio? Why did he leave you here in the first place?"


Saeroth, Underlord of Yugoloths wrote:
Mah Uncle Meepo wrote:
Saeroth, Underlord of Yugoloths wrote:

"Hey, she isn't Innocent Blood, you whiner." Says the ever-compassionate Saeroth. "The vampire is dead."

EDIT: Curses! Foiled by the ninja! Here's my new post:
"Hey, calm down, girl. It ain't you, the vamp's dead. Quit whining." Says the ever-compassionate Saeroth.

Meepo sighs, amidst coughing.

"Saeroth, are you even capable of understand mortals? You don't call them 'whiners' when they're on the verge of a nervous breakdown."
"Oh, please. It's no fun otherwise!"

"Please go, Saeroth. I've no time for you."


Saeroth, Underlord of Yugoloths wrote:

"Hey, she isn't Innocent Blood, you whiner." Says the ever-compassionate Saeroth. "The vampire is dead."

EDIT: Curses! Foiled by the ninja! Here's my new post:
"Hey, calm down, girl. It ain't you, the vamp's dead. Quit whining." Says the ever-compassionate Saeroth.

Meepo sighs, amidst coughing.

"Saeroth, are you even capable of understand mortals? You don't call them 'whiners' when they're on the verge of a nervous breakdown."


The figure puts down his gun.


The Mask wrote:
Great Erl wrote:
The Eighth Runelord wrote:


... I would that things were otherwise.

The trees rustle. There is a sense of quiet sadness

Spring Sapling was important to all of us, Runelord. She was a herald to us here, a speaker for those who cannot speak in far off councils. She gave her incarnation to pull another back into the Green. It was her fate, though it came through darkly until the Spear of Life appeared in the Tree Emperor's hands.

The Harlequin is a herald of chaos. His actions are hard to predict. His slaying of Starsong dismayed us all, but we will go on. Lynora-Jill still travels within the web of the Green. Nothing is ever lost. Even Spring Sapling will appear again some day when her current tasks are finished.

A raven appears, carrying a small limp frog.

"The Harlequin shouldn't bother you all. I froze him, and trapped him in the cave of two friends of mine. One is a white dragon, the other is Candle Lighter. I assure you, though I am indeed of the Black, I have no wish for fighting. I am a creature of law, and I do not intend on letting Chaos win this.
"Candle Lighter is cowed by the defeat of the forces of Black, and I daresay he is reluctant to pick a fight. There are some who still think that this is winnable. I do not, and I shall continue to look for stars to restore the Goddess."

Meepo walks in, chuckling.

"What he means to say is, he's really, really scared and wants to get on our good side."


The Hangman's Tree wrote:
Mah Uncle Meepo wrote:
The Hangman's Tree wrote:
More vines wrap Beren as HT continues the attack. Eventually vines erupt from within the Bear Lord's body itself.

Meepo glares.

"You're mine, tree."
He charges, firing his machine gun at the tree.

The bullets strike true, but the holes do not bleed. Holes appear upon Beren, and they bleed profusely.

If a tree could smile HT would be

Meepo glares.

"Not bad. I'm about you hit you with positive energy, so you just tell me when it hurts, 'kay?"
The bullets turn to pure positive energy as Meepo fires. They will not harm Beren, simply looping around to hit Hangman again if they miss or go through him.


The Hangman's Tree wrote:
More vines wrap Beren as HT continues the attack. Eventually vines erupt from within the Bear Lord's body itself.

Meepo glares.

"You're mine, tree."
He charges, firing his machine gun at the tree.


Meepo comes over to the Emperer.
"The dwarves and kobolds lie in wait for the enemy, sir. The Kittens are ready, I think they just turned invisible. It's gonna happen soon."


Aunt Esmerelda and Uncle Meepo step out of their room, holding a chessboard.
"The battle is raging in the Place of the Winds. The Ghost Kittens are pitted against Shadow Pelt, Innocent Blood has vanished, and the dwarves we brought are up against the undead horde. And this is but a skirmish."


"This...ain't...good...can't hold on...never had...a high will save..."


Now it is Meepo.
"This ain't gonna be easy. But then, you already knew that. But this'll be worse than--"


Flame Troll of Doom wrote:

The flame-troll is pretty much ignoring Malice Jack's attacks too.

No power of this world which you belong to can hurt me. I creature of other worlds.

Suddenly, Meepo leaps out and tosses a small sticky grenade at him.

"That ain't of this world, pal. Got that through teh World Serpent Inn!"
EDIT: Oops, nvm.


Dread Lord Wendigo wrote:

The burly Yeti lord points and screams

AT HIM FOOLS!

The Yeti horde advances on Meepo.

Meepo responds by tossing a hand grenade in the center of their group.


The Steel Tsar wrote:
After the kobold saboteur has been dealt with...

|:(

Or, at least, after the Tsar thinks he has...
...Meepo starts blasting the Wendigoes.

How ya like that, morons!


Meepo slaps a different object on top of the other two, which renders the rune useless.


WHG's Flunkie wrote:

<The Witch-Hunter General's Flunkie snaps out of his focus of concentration.>

Huh? What? Oh, this is a sort of counter. At the moment I'm using it to check for signs of recent Runelord activity in the vicinity. Fortunately only one of them seems to be active at the moment. Unfortunately, trying to chase him down is like whack-a-mole. You think you get him one place, and he pops up somewhere else.

Yep. Tracer keeps bringin' me places he's never been 'fore more den once.

What rune he 'present, 'nyways?


*Walks in*
Don't mind me, I'm just trying to track a Runelord with this g!#+&!ned defective Evil Detector.
*Walks out*
Where IS he?!


The Eighth Runelord wrote:

Sighs, and puts the chronometer away. Leaves a couple of shiny electrum pieces minted in Xin-Shalast on the counter to pay for that icy beer when it arrives. Takes out a business card marked with the Sihedron rune, and scribbles on it This is for you, Uncle Meepo, and leaves it to be placed with that beer whenever it gets here.

Perambulates out of the club, out of the thread and back into the darkness.

*Stomps in*

DAMMIT! I lose my connection for a few hours an' when I get back, the guy's already gone?
*Drinks beer angrily*
Now I gotta reboot my Evil Detector!
*Spends some time rebooting it, then orders it to trace the Runelord again*
This is takin' forever!


The old kobold, wielding a bazooka, stomps into the area. He looks MAD.
DAMMIT! I'm too late.
He sees the body of his nephew.
DAMMIT!!!
Suddenly, an item in his pack goes off. He pulls out a small, beeping device.
What? Evil Guy activity? Trace it, you blasted machine!
The machine begins attempting to trace the Runelord. Meepo is really mad, and he wants to take that anger out on something.


*Walks in*
What's all dis? We ken anter now? Nahs.
Lets pahtay.


Yep. Dis means an excursion. TO DA LAYER OF TRIBBLES AN' CREEPAH KINKAH...uhh...*Ahem* ADULT ENTERTAINMENT!!!
After dese messages.


*Walks into thread*
Ah'm safe, 'cause Ah ain't KC.


*Comes in carrying a machine gun and starts drinking beer*


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Mah Uncle Meepo wrote:

*Meepo leaps up, kicking one of his captors in the shin and grabbing his machine gun*

*Shoots at other Jacks*
You think that can hurt any of us? * Comes from behind and knocks Meepo through a wall.*

*Sends electricity at JRHM*

What does money have to do with it?!

Diamond dust!

*Leaps up and shoots at wall*
*Runs back*
That's a bomb Ah shot!
BOOM


Dayum raht! Esmeralda ain't made o' money!


*Meepo leaps up, kicking one of his captors in the shin and grabbing his machine gun*
*Shoots at other Jacks*


*Meepo suddenly wakes up*
Metal, eh? Well, where do ya think KC learned magic?


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Mah Uncle Meepo wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Mah Uncle Meepo wrote:
Malice Jack wrote:
Malice Jack sets the large steel floor trap and sprinkles Kobold kibble all around it. He quickly paints a sign, All you can eat kobold buffet and sticks it in the trap. He then unwinds the rope, makes a lasso and coils the extra on his shoulder. He grabs the anti-rune spray in one hand and scuttles around the corner giggling.

*...where he meets KC's uncle, frowning at him. He has a machine gun, stored in his belt*

Ah heard there were a pahty, didn't hear the party-throwers was racists. What you got 'gainst kobolds?
EDIT: Yer half raht, Jack's Raht Hand Man.
We don't have anything against kobolds in general. We have problems with you, KC, and your entire clan. You've caused nothing but headaches for the Jacks over the last few weeks.

Ahem.

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:

He's got Kobold Potatoes listed for today.

Kobold Cleaver's clan was decimated ages ago, Kobold Cleaver, Esmarelda an' I its only survivors. I'd add mah wife's son, but apparently someone ate him.
Sorry, I was including all of those oddball allies of yours as part of your clan. However, if you continue to be a nuisance to the Jacks, there won't be any of your "clan" left. Something for you to think about.

*Hoists machine gun*

Don't ya dare threaten me or mahn, Jack wannaby.


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Mah Uncle Meepo wrote:
Malice Jack wrote:
Malice Jack sets the large steel floor trap and sprinkles Kobold kibble all around it. He quickly paints a sign, All you can eat kobold buffet and sticks it in the trap. He then unwinds the rope, makes a lasso and coils the extra on his shoulder. He grabs the anti-rune spray in one hand and scuttles around the corner giggling.

*...where he meets KC's uncle, frowning at him. He has a machine gun, stored in his belt*

Ah heard there were a pahty, didn't hear the party-throwers was racists. What you got 'gainst kobolds?
EDIT: Yer half raht, Jack's Raht Hand Man.
We don't have anything against kobolds in general. We have problems with you, KC, and your entire clan. You've caused nothing but headaches for the Jacks over the last few weeks.

Ahem.

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:

He's got Kobold Potatoes listed for today.

Kobold Cleaver's clan was decimated ages ago, Kobold Cleaver, Esmarelda an' I its only survivors. I'd add mah wife's son, but apparently someone ate him.


Malice Jack wrote:
Malice Jack sets the large steel floor trap and sprinkles Kobold kibble all around it. He quickly paints a sign, All you can eat kobold buffet and sticks it in the trap. He then unwinds the rope, makes a lasso and coils the extra on his shoulder. He grabs the anti-rune spray in one hand and scuttles around the corner giggling.

*...where he meets KC's uncle, frowning at him. He has a machine gun, stored in his belt*

Ah heard there were a pahty, didn't hear the party-throwers was racists. What you got 'gainst kobolds?
EDIT: Yer half raht, Jack's Raht Hand Man.


The Masked Rogue wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Johnathan Livingston wrote:
It's shiny and it's mine.

*Blasts seagull*

*Grabs Cleaver*
*Goes back to profile*
Wow. That ended in surprisingly few explosions. I guess it's just our lucky day.

Dang raht.

't's a good thin' mah wife Esmahraylda knows Raise Dead.


Very Tempermental Plant wrote:
The Defectives wrote:
Very Tempermental Plant wrote:

Okay, I'm pissed.

*Suddenly grows to colossal size*
DIE, YOU FRIGGIN SONS OF A b%**~!!!!!
Size is inconsequential. We shall Crush you.

*Steps on Defective*

How f***ing ironic.

*Leaps on Plant's back*

Cum on! We cahn still do ah bit o' damage 'fore we croak!
*Starts shooting Defectives lightning quick*


*Fires machine gun, killing first row*
We'll go out fahtin'.


*Hoists machine gun*
Now, it'd be handy if we had some other folk wit' guns.


The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Cheshire Cat wrote:
I'm here for the thieves' guild. What do you wish to talk about?

*Suddenly materializes*

We are talking about the War that I am involved in. Neitehr I, nor the Pigeons, could have foreseen what is happened. Our enemy is the same, Pigeons: the Defectives.

*Draws crossbow*

You lie. Either that or you're mad. At any rate, you have come here, along with all you're friends. Now, I can finally--

*Fires machine gun at crossbow, reducing it to rubble*

Keep thet pointed away from mah nephew.
Now, tha way Ah see it, teh Defectives are kanda mad. After all, tehy have failed to annialate all the Lemmins'. They're gonna be comin'.


*Suddenly, a grizzled kobold walks in, carrying a machine gun*
Ah believe Ah was s'posed ta meet mah nephew KC here.


The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:
Mah Uncle Meepo wrote:
Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

Don't hide from K.C. You can take him.

He said your mom is a otyugh.

Actually, Ah said that.

*A grizzled old kobold steps into the light, wielding a machine gun*
Ah was told ta meet here.
What the hell...it's KC's uncle! ATTACK!!!!

*Hits first row*

*Looks at note*
Ohhhh, not the Pigeon Dungeon! The Jack Cult! Whoops!
*Walks away while Pigeons are still struggling to recover*


Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

Don't hide from K.C. You can take him.

He said your mom is a otyugh.

Actually, Ah said that.

*A grizzled old kobold steps into the light, wielding a machine gun*
Ah was told ta meet here.


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
*Quickly sneaks away, realizing that he's being followed by Llamafrog and the Pigeons*

Say...where'd mah gun go?

*Hears gunshot and yelp of pain from Angry Jack Cult*


Sharoth wrote:
~puts out my Kobold Traps~ Here! This should deal with this infestation.

*Sticks foot in trap*

Dang, ya psycho silver albino one-headed thessalguanic gecko! You're goin' down!
*Gets out trap-o-matic and starts building spear traps around SAOTG*
Never try to trap a kobold, worm.


Dang kid, why would he be mine? Ya tellin' me you actually believed taht story we told you?