An alliance? You're mad. Why should we make an alliance, or even a truce? With the help of the Defectives, we can level your pathetic resistance to the ground.*Suddenly, a grizzled kobold walks in, carrying a machine gun*
Ah believe Ah was s'posed ta meet mah nephew KC here.*The ghost of Jay Frogskin appears*
Indeed. So was I.*The leader of the Pigeons flies in*
What the hell is going on here?*Flies in*
I'm here to represent Kobold Cleaver. He will be a bit late.
He has decided that it is time to call a meeting, to consider a truce. Or, more likely, an alliance...
Because you need the help of the Defectives. And you're not going to have their help for much longer.
I'm here. What is it that you want?
I'm here. What is it that you want?
We're discussing an alliance. The Pigeons are less than eager.
I'm here for the thieves' guild. What do you wish to talk about?
Because you need the help of the Defectives. And you're not going to have their help for much longer.An alliance? You're mad. Why should we make an alliance, or even a truce? With the help of the Defectives, we can level your pathetic resistance to the ground.*Suddenly, a grizzled kobold walks in, carrying a machine gun*
Ah believe Ah was s'posed ta meet mah nephew KC here.*The ghost of Jay Frogskin appears*
Indeed. So was I.*The leader of the Pigeons flies in*
What the hell is going on here?*Flies in*
I'm here to represent Kobold Cleaver. He will be a bit late.
He has decided that it is time to call a meeting, to consider a truce. Or, more likely, an alliance...
What the hell are you talking about? You're all mad.
I'm here. What is it that you want?We're discussing an alliance. The Pigeons are less than eager.
What kind of alliance? Who is the enemy?
I'm here for the thieves' guild. What do you wish to talk about?
*Suddenly materializes*
We are talking about the War that I am involved in. Neitehr I, nor the Pigeons, could have foreseen what is happened. Our enemy is the same, Pigeons: the Defectives.
I'm here for the thieves' guild. What do you wish to talk about?*Suddenly materializes*
We are talking about the War that I am involved in. Neitehr I, nor the Pigeons, could have foreseen what is happened. Our enemy is the same, Pigeons: the Defectives.
*Draws crossbow*
You lie. Either that or you're mad. At any rate, you have come here, along with all you're friends. Now, I can finally--
I'm here for the thieves' guild. What do you wish to talk about?*Suddenly materializes*
We are talking about the War that I am involved in. Neitehr I, nor the Pigeons, could have foreseen what is happened. Our enemy is the same, Pigeons: the Defectives.*Draws crossbow*
You lie. Either that or you're mad. At any rate, you have come here, along with all you're friends. Now, I can finally--
*Fires machine gun at crossbow, reducing it to rubble*
Keep thet pointed away from mah nephew.Now, tha way Ah see it, teh Defectives are kanda mad. After all, tehy have failed to annialate all the Lemmins'. They're gonna be comin'.
I'm here for the thieves' guild. What do you wish to talk about?*Suddenly materializes*
We are talking about the War that I am involved in. Neitehr I, nor the Pigeons, could have foreseen what is happened. Our enemy is the same, Pigeons: the Defectives.*Draws crossbow*
You lie. Either that or you're mad. At any rate, you have come here, along with all you're friends. Now, I can finally--*Fires machine gun at crossbow, reducing it to rubble*
Keep thet pointed away from mah nephew.
Now, tha way Ah see it, teh Defectives are kanda mad. After all, tehy have failed to annialate all the Lemmins'. They're gonna be comin'.
By the gods, you're right! We have to--
Wait. What was that about teh Lemmings?
*Suddenly, 5 Lemmings plod into teh thread. They are weak from hunger, and look exhausted*
Hi, Master. We back.
*Suddenly, 5 Lemmings plod into teh thread. They are weak from hunger, and look exhausted*
Hi, Master. We back.
*Gasps*
What the...TREACHERY!!! PIGEONS, TO ARMS!!!
*Suddenly, a dark speck appears on the horizon. It is the Defectives, marching to war*
What...no...we aren't ready...our numbers are yet small...
*Suddenly, a dark speck appears on the horizon. It is the Defectives, marching to war*
What...no...we aren't ready...our numbers are yet small...
*Takes a step back*
By the gods....there are...so many...we're going to be massacred.
No fighting in here! We just got this place cleaned up from the last time!
No fighting in here! We just got this place cleaned up from the last time!
Alright..um...Create Thread!
Jackin Ape awakes from the drugged-banana-induced-sleep that someone had treacherously provided. Scenting Kobold cronies on the premises, he flies into a rage heretofore unseen--whose very sight would threaten any being less than a Jack will the loss of their sanity. Foaming and fleet, he starts snatching all the intruders and flings them out onto the lawn. Once there, his increased speed and strength is matched by another awesome sight: he trebles in size. Feathers and scales start flying everywhere as he smashes and flings the bodies of the wretched intruders in every direction. He fails to take notice of their puny physical attacks, and magic shimmers on his fur and dissipates, coated as it is with Panama Jack's Total Magic Block.
Jackin Ape awakes from the drugged-banana-induced-sleep that someone had treacherously provided. Scenting Kobold cronies on the premises, he flies into a rage heretofore unseen--whose very sight would threaten any being less than a Jack will the loss of their sanity. Foaming and fleet, he starts snatching all the intruders and flings them out onto the lawn. Once there, his increased speed and strength is matched by another awesome sight: he trebles in size. Feathers and scales start flying everywhere as he smashes and flings the bodies of the wretched intruders in every direction. He fails to take notice of their puny physical attacks, and magic shimmers on his fur and dissipates, coated as it is with Panama Jack's Total Magic Block.
Easy boy. KC and the pigeons have bigger problems. Let them go for now. Let's watch the massacre from the safety of the clubhouse, ok? *enters clubhouse with ape on leash.*
Well, Kobold Cleaver told me to come here, so what the Baator's going on in here?
Well, Kobold Cleaver told me to come here, so what the Baator's going on in here?
*turns visible* KC is trying to get us and the Jacks involved in his private little war.
Recognizing R.H.'s voice, the ape relaxes its mighty thews, and begins to return to its normal size. The blazes in its eyes recede to burning embers, and with one last hoot at the fleeing interlopers, it emerges from its rage.
Seeing the new entrants, it tenses and from its throat rises a low growl...
Hmm. The ape has a point. Let's get going. Wait, did Kobold Cleaver ever pay us for killing that gull? I'll go check.
*Runs off*
Don't people realize that we're not the warring type? Injure us and we will dfend ourselves, but we would rather be drinking and carousing.
You're correct. There is no reason for us to get involved in this.
I think this one looks better than the last avatar you had.
Malice Jack reappears after a shopping run to Acme Depot pulling a wagon loaded with Acme Snap-to-it™ steel traps, bundles of Acme Extra Tite™ nylon rope, several boxes of Purina Kobold Chow™, and some cans of Acme Rune-A-Way™ Explosive Rune dissolving spray.
He takes in the chaos and laughs.
Guess I am late to the party!
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Hungry Jack® Casserole Potatoes
Hungry Jack casserole potatoes are great for potlucks. Bake ahead of time, cool and refrigerate. Reheat in the oven or microwave just before serving.
Top casserole potatoes with shredded cheese during the last two minutes of baking.
Serve pan-fried fish fillets on a bed of Hungry Jack casserole potatoes.
Malice Jack sets the large steel floor trap and sprinkles Kobold kibble all around it. He quickly paints a sign, All you can eat kobold buffet and sticks it in the trap. He then unwinds the rope, makes a lasso and coils the extra on his shoulder. He grabs the anti-rune spray in one hand and scuttles around the corner giggling.
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Cheesy Kobold Potatoes
Ingredients:
• 1 (4.9 oz.) package Hungry Jack® Four Cheese Potatoes
• 2 cups boiling water
• 2 tablespoons butter or margarine
• 2/3 cup milk
• 2 cups cubed, cooked kobold
• 2 cups frozen broccoli florets, thawed
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1 cup (4 oz.) shredded Cheddar cheese
Preparation Directions:
1. HEAT oven to 425°F. Combine potato slices, sauce mix, boiling water and butter in ungreased 8 x 8-inch (2-quart) glass baking dish. Stir in milk. Bake 20 minutes.
2. REMOVE baking dish from oven. Stir in kobold, broccoli and sour cream. Sprinkle with cheese.
3. BAKE an additional 10 to 12 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Let stand about 5 minutes to thicken sauce.
TIP Serve this creamy one-dish meal with fresh fruit for dessert, if desired.
Yield: 5 servings
Prep Time: 15 min
Cook Time: 32 min
Watching Malice Jack prepare his elaborate trap awakens Jackin Ape's bestial cunning. He climbs into the rafters of the porte-cochere and up into its dark recesses, where he waits to pounce on fleeing interlopers.
Malice Jack sets the large steel floor trap and sprinkles Kobold kibble all around it. He quickly paints a sign, All you can eat kobold buffet and sticks it in the trap. He then unwinds the rope, makes a lasso and coils the extra on his shoulder. He grabs the anti-rune spray in one hand and scuttles around the corner giggling.
I think KC might be too smart for a trap like that Malice.
Of course you might capture some of his hillbilly relatives. They don't seem to be very swift.
Malice Jack sets the large steel floor trap and sprinkles Kobold kibble all around it. He quickly paints a sign, All you can eat kobold buffet and sticks it in the trap. He then unwinds the rope, makes a lasso and coils the extra on his shoulder. He grabs the anti-rune spray in one hand and scuttles around the corner giggling.
*...where he meets KC's uncle, frowning at him. He has a machine gun, stored in his belt*
Ah heard there were a pahty, didn't hear the party-throwers was racists. What you got 'gainst kobolds?EDIT: Yer half raht, Jack's Raht Hand Man.
Malice Jack sets the large steel floor trap and sprinkles Kobold kibble all around it. He quickly paints a sign, All you can eat kobold buffet and sticks it in the trap. He then unwinds the rope, makes a lasso and coils the extra on his shoulder. He grabs the anti-rune spray in one hand and scuttles around the corner giggling.*...where he meets KC's uncle, frowning at him. He has a machine gun, stored in his belt*
Ah heard there were a pahty, didn't hear the party-throwers was racists. What you got 'gainst kobolds?
EDIT: Yer half raht, Jack's Raht Hand Man.
We don't have anything against kobolds in general. We have problems with you, KC, and your entire clan. You've caused nothing but headaches for the Jacks over the last few weeks.
I'm soooooo hungry.... What's on the Menu today Hungry Jack?
I'm soooooo hungry.... What's on the Menu today Hungry Jack?
He's got Kobold Potatoes listed for today.
We don't have anything against kobolds in general. We have problems with you, KC, and your entire clan. You've caused nothing but headaches for the Jacks over the last few weeks.Malice Jack sets the large steel floor trap and sprinkles Kobold kibble all around it. He quickly paints a sign, All you can eat kobold buffet and sticks it in the trap. He then unwinds the rope, makes a lasso and coils the extra on his shoulder. He grabs the anti-rune spray in one hand and scuttles around the corner giggling.*...where he meets KC's uncle, frowning at him. He has a machine gun, stored in his belt*
Ah heard there were a pahty, didn't hear the party-throwers was racists. What you got 'gainst kobolds?
EDIT: Yer half raht, Jack's Raht Hand Man.
Ahem.
He's got Kobold Potatoes listed for today.
Kobold Cleaver's clan was decimated ages ago, Kobold Cleaver, Esmarelda an' I its only survivors. I'd add mah wife's son, but apparently someone ate him.
We don't have anything against kobolds in general. We have problems with you, KC, and your entire clan. You've caused nothing but headaches for the Jacks over the last few weeks.Malice Jack sets the large steel floor trap and sprinkles Kobold kibble all around it. He quickly paints a sign, All you can eat kobold buffet and sticks it in the trap. He then unwinds the rope, makes a lasso and coils the extra on his shoulder. He grabs the anti-rune spray in one hand and scuttles around the corner giggling.*...where he meets KC's uncle, frowning at him. He has a machine gun, stored in his belt*
Ah heard there were a pahty, didn't hear the party-throwers was racists. What you got 'gainst kobolds?
EDIT: Yer half raht, Jack's Raht Hand Man.Ahem.
Kobold Cleaver's clan was decimated ages ago, Kobold Cleaver, Esmarelda an' I its only survivors. I'd add mah wife's son, but apparently someone ate him.He's got Kobold Potatoes listed for today.
Sorry, I was including all of those oddball allies of yours as part of your clan. However, if you continue to be a nuisance to the Jacks, there won't be any of your "clan" left. Something for you to think about.
Sorry, I was including all of those oddball allies of yours as part of your clan. However, if you continue to be a nuisance to the Jacks, there won't be any of your "clan" left. Something for you to think about.We don't have anything against kobolds in general. We have problems with you, KC, and your entire clan. You've caused nothing but headaches for the Jacks over the last few weeks.Malice Jack sets the large steel floor trap and sprinkles Kobold kibble all around it. He quickly paints a sign, All you can eat kobold buffet and sticks it in the trap. He then unwinds the rope, makes a lasso and coils the extra on his shoulder. He grabs the anti-rune spray in one hand and scuttles around the corner giggling.*...where he meets KC's uncle, frowning at him. He has a machine gun, stored in his belt*
Ah heard there were a pahty, didn't hear the party-throwers was racists. What you got 'gainst kobolds?
EDIT: Yer half raht, Jack's Raht Hand Man.Ahem.
Kobold Cleaver's clan was decimated ages ago, Kobold Cleaver, Esmarelda an' I its only survivors. I'd add mah wife's son, but apparently someone ate him.He's got Kobold Potatoes listed for today.
*Hoists machine gun*
Don't ya dare threaten me or mahn, Jack wannaby.
We don't have anything against kobolds in general. We have problems with you, KC, and your entire clan. You've caused nothing but headaches for the Jacks over the last few weeks.Malice Jack sets the large steel floor trap and sprinkles Kobold kibble all around it. He quickly paints a sign, All you can eat kobold buffet and sticks it in the trap. He then unwinds the rope, makes a lasso and coils the extra on his shoulder. He grabs the anti-rune spray in one hand and scuttles around the corner giggling.*...where he meets KC's uncle, frowning at him. He has a machine gun, stored in his belt*
Ah heard there were a pahty, didn't hear the party-throwers was racists. What you got 'gainst kobolds?
EDIT: Yer half raht, Jack's Raht Hand Man.Ahem.
Kobold Cleaver's clan was decimated ages ago, Kobold Cleaver, Esmarelda an' I its only survivors. I'd add mah wife's son, but apparently someone ate him.He's got Kobold Potatoes listed for today.
Sorry, I was including all of those oddball allies of yours as part of
your clan. However, if you continue to be a nuisance to the Jacks, there won't be any of your "clan" left. Something for you to think about.*Hoists machine gun*
Don't ya dare threaten me or mahn, Jack wannaby.
Like that's going to hurt my metal frame. *Before Meepo can react, JRMH goes over and gives Meepo a Captain Kirk Judo Chop on the neck that knocks him out. * JRHM and MJ carry him to the basement*
*Meepo suddenly wakes up*
Metal, eh? Well, where do ya think KC learned magic?
*Meepo suddenly wakes up*
Metal, eh? Well, where do ya think KC learned magic?
Not from you, Uncle Meepo!
*KC leaps in, and shoots a bolt at Jack's Right Hand Man*That's a bolt of rust, you know!
*Goes outside Jack's Clubhouse and yells out* I know you're listening KC. We have your uncle tied up. The Jacks want a 100 Grand or your uncle gets fed to our ape. Don't bother trying to teleport in or damage the Jacks' clubhouse. We have wards in place.
*Goes outside Jack's Clubhouse and yells out* I know you're listening KC. We have your uncle tied up. The Jacks want a 100 Grand or your uncle gets fed to our ape. Don't bother trying to teleport in or damage the Jacks' clubhouse. We have wards in place.
Too late. *Shoots another bolt*
*Meepo suddenly wakes up*
Metal, eh? Well, where do ya think KC learned magic?Not from you, Uncle Meepo!
*KC leaps in, and shoots a bolt at Jack's Right Hand Man*
That's a bolt of rust, you know!
Doesn't matter my friend. I have some of Panama Jack's magic tanning lotions. I'm pretty much invulnerable to your magic.
*Goes outside Jack's Clubhouse and yells out* I know you're listening KC. We have your uncle tied up. The Jacks want a 100 Grand or your uncle gets fed to our ape. Don't bother trying to teleport in or damage the Jacks' clubhouse. We have wards in place.Too late. *Shoots another bolt*
*smacks KC in the chops*
*Meepo leaps up, kicking one of his captors in the shin and grabbing his machine gun*
*Shoots at other Jacks*