Club Calistria


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Thieving Wasp wrote:
*Flies sadly in*

Alaina notices the sad little wasp buzzing in a corner by some spilled ginger ale.

What's the matter TW?


Jack Hammer notices the Thieving Wasp and flashes of memories spin thru his thick skull. Or are they memories? He hears the voice of a kobold, and maniacal laughter. He shakes his head, and the thoughts flee.

He notices that lynora-Jill looks asleep on her feet. Man, she likes to dance. Despite his stepping on her feet every other step. He can't even remember how many Cure Minor Wounds she had to cast. He leads her to the private cabana before she drops completely.

He places her on the bed and she drifts off to sleep immediately. She's had a rough few days. He watches her for an hour then trundles out of the room.


The Messageboard Oracle stirs briefly from his sleep of the ages. He rubs his eyes, yawns, and blinks.

Hmmm?
That wasp, young lady, is all that is left of the soul of a once great messageboards hero, who fought a war he could not win against the PostMonster General and his legion of baleful polysmurfs. Having lost which war, he decided to fight one which he had a chance in, against a goddess of evil. It seemed to sort of finish in a tie, with the hero distracting the goddess, but the hero trapped with her.
But then heroes wouldn't be heroes, if there wasn't a price they occasionally had to pay.
Now leave me be. I long to sleep.

The Messageboard Oracle pulls up his long grey beard, adjusting it to use as a pillow, and slumps back into his chair. He is soon snoring again.


Alaina tucks a beach towel around the recumbent form of the ancient Oracle

There there oldfather, rest now.

Seeing the eastern sky brightening inexorably, Alaina yawns hugely. She pads back to the main clubhouse, weaving around the sleeping forms of exhausted partygoers.

Ascending the marble stairway to the penthouse on the third floor, she locks her doors, hangs her whip up, pulls her yellow knit top off, unzips and discards her black shorts.

She heads to her masterbath and indulges in a long bath-salt-infused soak in her whirlpool tub. Refreshed but tired, she towels off and slips into a pale green silk camisole. Pulling back the satin covers of her immense bed she dives in and is soon fast asleep


Logic_Elmer wrote:
Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:


"roit, roit guvnah...*blows whistle* now oy unnersand you've a loybriry book checked out....June 8th, 793 from the Lindisfarne Public Loybriry...by one.....Lisamarie Elvisdottir......oyas...ere it is....oyl be takin that off of yer parson a tha...chip chip in all tha...."

Hugs the large tome to his chicken chest

NOOOO! Officer you've got the wong gamist! This is my wevised and thouwoughly tested Tome of Wules to Cover Evewything. It's not some viking b***h...

Alright. you are going to get it. ATTACK!!!

*Viking Kittens fly in, grab Logic Elmer, and start whacking him with greataxes*


Dancing around as the helmeted cats attack him in force, Logic-Elmer screeches wildly

I don't have my wule book! I don't know what to woll!

Desperately trying to avoid the greataxes, he tries one desperate gambit. He pulls forth an ancient D20 marked with two 1-10 sequences with the numbers crayoned in with two colors

BY THE POWER OF GREYHAWK!

The skys darken and a flash of lightning strikes down, electrocuting the hapless nerd.

medic ..


Logic_Elmer wrote:

Dancing around as the helmeted cats attack him in force, Logic-Elmer screeches wildly

I don't have my wule book! I don't know what to woll!

Desperately trying to avoid the greataxes, he tries one desperate gambit. He pulls forth an ancient D20 marked with two 1-10 sequences with the numbers crayoned in in two colors

BY THE POWER OF THE WHITE BOX GODS!

The skys darken and a flash of lightning strikes down, electrocuting the hapless nerd.

medic ..

*The kittens stare at Elmer, then, deciding he isn't worth it, depart*


Wakes up in the cabana and stretches langorously. Alaina certainly knew how to throw a party. But now it was definitely time to go home. She realized with a start that she hadn't eaten anything for two days. She could really use some of Hungry Jack's cooking. She scribbled a thank you note for Alaina, and headed out.


Alaina wakes up and throws back her satin sheets. She pads over to her sitting area and sinks into a large oversuffed divan. She gazes out her large French windows and watches the sun rise over the distant meadows and forests of her realm while Rosie brings her her morning cup of Earl Grey and a chocolate croissant.

Finishing her breakfast, Alaina stretches and strips off her green camisole. She dresses without showering, slipping on a yellow-black-striped bikini and then a spandex shorts and top set in the same pattern. Slipping some crosstrainers to her feet, she descends to the patio of the clubhouse.

The pool area is quiet. The early-morning sun gleams off the freshly scrubbed surfaces Rosie has worked on so diligently. Alaina unrolls her yoga mat and begins her morning exercise routine.


After a peaceful day of yoga, light jogging, lap swimming, weight training and Pilates, Alaina feels at the top of her form. She runs up the three flights of stairs to her room and strips off her exercise clothing and steps into her omnidirectional shower.

After a decadent warm shower she towels off, pads to her immense closet and begins picking out her eveningwear. A little black dress with a few gold accesories, a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes and her favorite whip and she is ready to go.

Padding out to the open-aired dance floor she begins to greet the early comers, a flock of Vrocks, a gaggle of Hound Archons and a trio of somber Mercane. Rosie begins to serve drinks.


Lynora-Jill and Jack Hammer come in to the club. Lynora-Jill ends up hovering above the ground every few steps as she forgets herself and uses her wings instead of her feet.

"Alaina!" she exclaims, seeing her friend and rushing to give her a hug. "Isn't it wonderful? My wings grew back! We're going to have some drinks at the bar right now." She smiles back at Jack Hammer, and gives her friend a conspiratorial smile. "And then maybe head up to one of the private rooms," she says quietly so only Alaina can hear.


Alaina's chin hits the floor as she sees Lynora-Jill's new look

Sweetie! You're an angel! Literally!

She laughs

By all means, come in! Rosie's tending bar, and there's supposed to be a group of Arborean Bards coming in later for a little acoustic jam session. Make yourself at home!

Leans in and whispers

Whichever room you want, feel free!

Smiles wickedly


The evening's entertainment starts swinging. A band of bariaur bards from Arborea appear and begin playing some lively dances. A mixed group of beings from across the Wheel dance reels along the parquet floor. The atmosphere is more muted and friendly then the wild baccanalias of the weekend, more of a cafe flavor. Alaina flits from table to table, greeting guests.

...Yes, I'm sure that we can make a larval ichor and soda, let me check our stocks.

... There are plenty of swimtrunks in the pool cabana

... Gleam of Gold! How are you? How's Union these days?

The flame-haired hostess makes sure Lynora-Jill and JH have everthing they want.

I hope you two are enjoying the evening!


*Smiles at Alaina.* Oh, we're doing just fine. Except that I suddenly feel very, very sleepy. Maybe we should go take a 'nap' *wink*

Grins back at Alaina as she leads JH into the house.


Waves at the two lovebirds.

G'night you two!

Turns and returns to her hostessing duties


<Scuttles in, ducking under the doorman's arms, and makes his way through the throng, holding some sort of thin black rod which he is waving around. Occasionally, the rod emits a faint clicking sound..


Stares at the small dragon with the slim rod

Can I help you with something?


ABout time I found this place.

Hello Lady Calistria and where are the beverages?


Lord of All Insects wrote:

ABout time I found this place.

Hello Lady Calistria and where are the beverages?

Smiles

Hi handsome! The bar's right over there!

Points to where a robot in a housedress is rapidly mixing up a bewildering variety of cocktails


Oh I forgot, these are my servents, Noisy_Cricket,

*Chrup*

*He bows to the priestess....*


Bows in turn

Welcome Noisy! We have a nice insect area up on top of the roof if you want to mingle!

Points to a large crystal hive that sits at the peak of the large mansion's roof.

My wasp minions lair there, but they are a friendly bunch. And all female!

winks


....and, you may have seen or heard him already. This is my messenger, bulter, and scout. He's been attacked on several occasion and now has a vendetta against the Thieving Wasp. I present Blood_Sample.

*The Mosquito flaps his wings in excitment*

He doesn't bite really. He says he's a vegetarian.


Alaina smiles

Well, Mr. Sample, we have veggie cocktails and *ahem* Bloody marys (with real blood--for the undead patrons)

She waves them all in

Come in come in!


JH was sleeping. He seemed to be doing a lot of that today. She smiled as she watched him.

She looked out the window. After her nap at the Place of the Winds she wasn't the least bit tired. She realized that she had never properly thanked them for their help.

She glanced back at JH. Well, it would just be a short trip. She would be back here before he ever knew she had been gone.

She stepped out onto the balcony and glided into the sky.


<The Witch-Hunter General's Flunkie snaps out of his focus of concentration.>
Huh? What? Oh, this is a sort of counter. At the moment I'm using it to check for signs of recent Runelord activity in the vicinity. Fortunately only one of them seems to be active at the moment. Unfortunately, trying to chase him down is like whack-a-mole. You think you get him one place, and he pops up somewhere else.


WHG's Flunkie wrote:

<The Witch-Hunter General's Flunkie snaps out of his focus of concentration.>

Huh? What? Oh, this is a sort of counter. At the moment I'm using it to check for signs of recent Runelord activity in the vicinity. Fortunately only one of them seems to be active at the moment. Unfortunately, trying to chase him down is like whack-a-mole. You think you get him one place, and he pops up somewhere else.

Yep. Tracer keeps bringin' me places he's never been 'fore more den once.

What rune he 'present, 'nyways?


Ah, a fellow conneisseur in the art of hunting arch-wizards.
<Beams at Uncle Meepo.>
Now Runelords are like that platinum thing I hear folks in another dimension make such a fuss over. Or do I mean plutonium? Platinum, plutonium, it's probably all the same thing anyway. But back to Runelords. They're okay in a tightly controlled environment, such as the private thread they had a few months back. Or individually. But get a number of them together anywhere else and BAM, critical mass, and they write a really bad review. Or close you down. Or take over the universe or something like that.
Except for the Runelord of Pride. Now he's REALLY bad. Just him on his own is an instant disaster in many places.
<Returns his attention to the rod, which continues to emit an occasional click.>


Rune?
<Shivers slightly.>
The Eighth Runelord is the Runelord of Divination, and the Runelord of Doom. That's how he survived the Earthfall. He saw it coming waaaay before anyone else. The guy's crazy. Comes of seeing all sides of everything all at the same time if he lets his concentration wander for a moment. Too distracted to be a real menace very often, but scary.


Well, I haven't seen anyone sporting any sidhedron runes, but if someone shows up I'll let you know.

Leans over to the Lord of Insects, displaying some impressive decolletage

Do you know how to dance by any chance?


<Wanders around, ducking and diving through dancers, waving the rod around, but the rod never makes beyond more than the occasional click.>

<Blinks and stares as if, just for a fleeting moment, he thought he saw something, then shakes his head.>


<After much searching, during which he has incidentally spent more time on the dance floor than some of the dancers, the small green creature heads for the door, perhaps just a little disconsolate in its trudge. Approaching the door however, it manages to accelerate to the point where, having flipped the doorman a silver coin, the small green creature has reached scuttling speed outside, and it disappears speedily from view.>


Waves at the departing flunkie

HEY! You have a cell to call should I see a Runelord?


The priestess perhaps catches something about 'for heavens sake not that cell with the whips in the basement', before he is out of sight....


Fingers her coiled whip absently

Whips in a basement ...hmmm


Lynora-Jill awakens as the morning sun washes over her. She smiles down at Jack Hammer. Still sleeping. She gets up and stretches. Time to check on the progress at the Place of the Winds, maybe do a quick fly-over to make sure the monster hadn't damaged any of her other friends.

She scribbles out a quick note:

There was trouble last night. Something attacked the Jacks. It was very powerful. Went to the Place of the Winds for advice. They should have an answer soon. Meet me there, or at what's left of the clubhouse.

She put the note where JH was certain to find it and flew away.


Alaina wakes up and stretches langorously. Emerging from her immense bed, she wanders to her sitting area. A steaming pot of tea and a small plate of scones sit on a silver serving tray. Rosie clanks in the bathroom, scrubbing and cleaning up the stray frilly undergaments Alaina has a bad habit of dropping everywhere.

Alaina looks out on her tropical realm, and notices the white-winged form of Lynora-Jill flying off into the heavens.

Hmm... She's off early ... She thinks to herself.

After her breakfast, she dresses in her normal workout clothing and heads out to the pool area. Setting up under the pergola that shades the far side of the pool, she begins a vigorous aerobic workout. A fine sheen of sweat soon slicks her bronzed body as she segues into a kickboxing routine. After an hour of high-powered bouncing about she strips down to her bikini and dives into the pool for some laps.


lynora-Jill wrote:

Lynora-Jill awakens as the morning sun washes over her. She smiles down at Jack Hammer. Still sleeping. She gets up and stretches. Time to check on the progress at the Place of the Winds, maybe do a quick fly-over to make sure the monster hadn't damaged any of her other friends.

She scribbles out a quick note:

There was trouble last night. Something attacked the Jacks. It was very powerful. Went to the Place of the Winds for advice. They should have an answer soon. Meet me there, or at what's left of the clubhouse.

She put the note where JH was certain to find it and flew away.

Jack Hammer stirs awake. He's been sleeping much, and ..., as of late. The priestess is gone again. He really likes her new Victoria Secret's angel wings. He spots the note, reads it quickly, and rushes to the Clubhouse.


A swarm of horse-sized yellow jackets descends on the club. Alaina jumps off Minerva and send her and her sisters back to their crystal hive. She shoos the few pool loungers out

Sorry folks, private party! Come back tomorrow!

ROSIE! We'll need lots of drinks and such!

Starts arrainging chairs around a large oval table by the pool


A small frog hops off a wasp. cradling a small pink rodent

WHEE! Dat was lotsa fun! OOOOO .... nachos!

Hops to a buffet table Rosie is busy setting up.


The transformed Acme helicopters into view, carrying the wounded Bard and Malice Jack

As soon as the two are off, Acme retransforms into his usual shape and goes to assist Rosie


Whirs around with a large tray of drinks

Is there anything else you require mistress?


Yes! Help the wounded Bard over there! Bring the Two-Liter of CLW potion from the fridge!


Alaina, priestess of Calistria wrote:
Yes! Help the wounded Bard over there! Bring the Two-Liter of CLW potion from the fridge!

Yes mistress! Right away!

Whirs quickly to the kitchen, and rushes back with the potion.


Alaina, not seeing two of the champions, teleports back to the RPG board and grabs them


Emperor7 arrives at the Club, tangling himself in a string of lanterns near the ceiling.

Apologies dear patron.


Continuity edit

The bard recovers and rushes off to find DB3


Emperor7 wrote:

Emperor7 arrives at the Club, tangling himself in a string of lanterns near the ceiling.

Apologies dear patron.

Not a problem noble one!

Looks over the bar at Acme

Fix the Emperor a MiracleGro and soda please?


Rosie is at first unsure what to do. The person she had been instructed to help has disappeared. But then she spots the winged female lying unconscious. There's always something for an enterprising robot to do. She dutifully feeds the CLW potion, all 2 liters of it, to the woman.

Satisfied that her duty is done, Rosie returns to serving drinks.


The battered band of heroes sits glumly about the table. Malice pipes up

Soooo .... Any big ideas out there on how to cap Tall Dark and Ugly and the Lizard mummy?


... wrote:

Continuity edit

The bard recovers and rushes off to find DB3

What about me? I'm stuck out here in the middle of nowhere. :)

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