Sanityfaerie wrote:
So... your basic issue, as I read it, is that you're finding it hard to get engaged. That's happening because you previously had been engaged, and then you died, and died, and died, and having your character die out from under you while you're engaged *sucks*. It's an emotional hit. Right now, there's some part of your psyche that seriously expects that you're going to *keep* dying again and again and again, and is trying to keep you from getting engaged in order to protect you, emotionally.
And, you know, it might have a point.
So the first step is to figure out how to make sure that your characters don't die so much. Figure out why they've been dying. From the sounds of things, it's not the rest of the party. It's mostly you. How can you adjust things so that you die less? Possibly play characters that are more durable, tend to be more back-line, possibly have meaningful built-in self-heals? If your major issue was that you'd charge out in front, get surrounded, and die that way, then try playing a ranged build who'd never want to charge out in front in the first place. If your major issue was that you were playing fragile characters who got quickly overwhelmed when things went bad, then possibly play something a bit tougher and/or make sure that you invest properly in defensive and escape options. Possibly carry around some healing consumables?
Consider discussing with the GM and/or your fellow players in case they noticed things that you were doing (or not doing) that you didn't.
After you get yourself to the point where you honestly believe that it actually will be different this time (and have *reason* to believe this - lying to yourself on things like this is bad policy) I suspect that you'll find that it's easier to get engaged again.
that is some den good advice. I hadn't looked at it from that angle, thanks :D
