Lars Lundberg's page

I guess some folks look for rich flavor to take the gruntwork out of GMing. Peripherals like Legendary Games Adventure Path add-ons are perfect adding content to Paizo's AP's, or Ragig Swan's near endless supply of GM aids, rangin from straight flavor to 100% crunch.

Thanks for the feedback. Would you characterize yourself as a GM or a player? Would you be more liable to buy a product that was multi-purpose, like a campaign setting with new options, or a product with a single intent, like a book of new class abilities? Also, is there a type of product out in the 3PP universe that you feel has been done to death?

This thread piqued my interest from a couple of standpoints. Until the very recent past I was solely a customer. Now I have the pleasure (anxiety/regret/elation) of helping put out a third party product of my own. Our product is an adventure, but modules and adventures are only part of the third party equation. Are people who delve into the third party world primarily looking for adventures, or are they looking for campaign settings, sourcebooks or some combination of any or all? Additionally, are they looking for specific genres (steampunk, gothic, ponies) or are generic settings (high fantasy, low fantasy) more sought after? I am curious to hear what people in the industry have to say as well as customers.

Lars Lundberg wrote:

Why do they know they are good monsters? Because you read it in the Bestiary? Because you have been playing for several years and have run into friendly werebears and noble dark elves and so on and so forth. I think it is more realistic and fun to play a campaign where things are scary and unknown and characters react accordingly.

I would like to point out that in Pathfinder there are things called 'Knowledge checks' that, amongst other things, allow PCs to learn about the creatures that inhabit their world, including creature behavior and alignments. Maybe you disallow these in your realistic campaign, I can't say. Knowledge is way more common in an RPG world than it was in the real world analogue period. There's way more literacy. Not to mention magical means of gathering knowledge.

Knowledge skills are a real problem. Mostly from a DM standpoint, but somewhat as a player issue. I think Sean Reynolds has mentioned something about them in the item critique thread. Players that use them like you do take some of the mystique and mystery from the game everytime you say to the DM "What is that thing flying overhead?" The DM answers: "It is green and scaly and has a noxious gas pouring out of its mouth." You respond: "I make a Knowledge check to see what it is. I have maxed out the ranks in it so tell me its alignment, fighting abilities, vulnerabilities and its social security number." The point I am trying to make is that monsters are scary, they should be treated as such. Let alone the fact that it can ruin the game for a DM. They are trying to tell a story and in the case of the Cold Hearth Lodge you want to immediately know the conflict (Huntsman killing good creatures) and how to solve it (Kill the Huntsman). Where is the fun in that? Play the game like you live in the middle ages. Play it with a sense of mystery and wonder even though you probably know the monster backwards and forwards from the Bestiary. Play it like a person would really react to hearing about a monster lurking in the woods.

Sentient creatures might also have these 'knowledge checks', and recognize stuff about the people they need help from (ie; the player characters) such as do they worship a generally recognized good aligned god. If in game a PC sees someone wearing a butterfly holy symbol, you might think 'That person is going to have a recognizable set of beliefs', if you know what the symbol represents (you know, from those knowledge checks we spoke about).

What "knowledge checks" are the monsters supposed to use to figure out a character's alignment? Religion is the only thing that could work and how many monsters have that as a knowledge skill.

Lars Lundberg wrote:

Sly Boots wrote:

Lars Lundberg wrote:

Helping monsters!!!! are we playing the same game!!!

Anyway, I can definitely see this one being a recurring thorn in the side of an adventuring party. First thing I thought of was the PCs coming to the aid of a 'monster' (I see a metallic dragon, but I just like dragons, heh) that is being targeted by the hunters. It's potentially very tear-jerky if they fail, which I love. Will vote for!

Maybe this is just a pet peeve but realistically, no character would be helping monsters of any shape or size. As players we know the difference between a metallic dragon and a chromatic dragon but even in a world of magic and wonders its still the dark ages, comparatively speaking. In our own enlightened time now we can hardly stand anyone who has a differnt skin tone, religion, or social status. It just stretches the boundaries of logic to think that characters would go out of their way to help anything not of their own race.

Wow, I disagree completely, and not just because I suspect you mean 'species' and not 'race' in regards to this org. You can't apply the words 'realistically' to how ANY PC will react in ANY fantasy role-playing game; it's all made up, you can do anything. How much of role-playing games stretches the boundaries of 'logic' in the first place? Do you think magic is logical? How about gods that grant spells? And how a PC will react to an appeal from a sentient beast is where you draw the suspension of disbelief line, huh? What if you have players who don't want to role-play a horrible racist? I'll just ignore what you said about the real world, here, also.

In MY RPGs, players whose PCs are of good alignment should feel obliged to help sentient beasts who are also of known good alignments, ESPECIALLY if that beast came to the party specifically, as is possible with this organization. If I was playing a good PC in such a campaign, I would try and convince party members to help. Lumping everything...

It all comes down to how you view your roleplaying world I guess. I like to think of the world I play D&D in as a world that "plays" by the same rules that I know are true in the real world that I live in. It helps me to frame my play and experience. The world of Golarion is about as advanced as our own historical Renaissance. Sure, Golarion has gods and magic, but they still follow the rules of logic, just in their own way. It's just that I can't ignore how people are, or in this case, were. In that time, information was passed slowly and rumor and legends were paramount. People were superstitious and untrustworthy of almost everyone who wasn't in their local vicinity. Tribes killed tribes, towns fought towns and countries invaded countries. You could be a great person with high moral standards and still go out and slaughter your neighbor because you thought he was possessed. In our current day and age that seems absurd. But back then it happened all to often. So coming from that perspective where knowledge is limited and superstition and misinformation is prevalant, anything different: race, species and even similar races from different places must be viewed as suspect. I think that is the core of what makes the Cold Hearth Lodge at least partially feasible. The Lodge members rely on the fact that people don't know or care what is in the wilderness around them, only that they want it dead so they can sleep at night. The part that I find unfeasible is the supposition that players would then want to help the unfortunate monsters because they somehow "know better". Why do they know they are good monsters? Because you read it in the Bestiary? Because you have been playing for several years and have run into friendly werebears and noble dark elves and so on and so forth. I think it is more realistic and fun to play a campaign where things are scary and unknown and characters react accordingly. Now that being said, if a "good" character was put into the situation that the Cold Hearth Lodge is designed for then it would be feasible in my mind to at first be on the side of the Lodge, but upon further evidence that something isn't quite right, then maybe a little insight and knowledge could be gained that would open some eyes a little wider to the possibilities out there. Last of all, why on earth would a sentient creature approach a group of people in the first place to solve their problem? Do they just automatically know that you are a "good" character with an "obviously" similar alignment? It doesn't make sense logically.

Hah! I beat you all. My item was considered to not even be a wondrous item. AUTO-REJECT! at least Clark liked the idea.

Lars Lundberg wrote:

Helping monsters!!!! are we playing the same game!!!

Who are you talking to?

Anyway, I can definitely see this one being a recurring thorn in the side of an adventuring party. First thing I thought of was the PCs coming to the aid of a 'monster' (I see a metallic dragon, but I just like dragons, heh) that is being targeted by the hunters. It's potentially very tear-jerky if they fail, which I love. Will vote for!

Maybe this is just a pet peeve but realistically, no character would be helping monsters of any shape or size. As players we know the difference between a metallic dragon and a chromatic dragon but even in a world of magic and wonders its still the dark ages, comparatively speaking. In our own enlightened time now we can hardly stand anyone who has a differnt skin tone, religion, or social status. It just stretches the boundaries of logic to think that characters would go out of their way to help anything not of their own race.

Helping monsters!!!! are we playing the same game!!!

I'm a little fuzzy on this organization. They are nobles trying to keep their lineage pure. To do this they are mating with commoners? Are these children hidden within their society as true nobles or do they have an island somewhere to keep all the offspring? I also don't remember hearing of any noble families in Golarion having ties to the Azlanti. Maybe I am wrong on this issue.
It seems like an organization similar to the Scarlet Brotherhood (one of my favorite Sean Reynolds products) from the Greyhawk setting. In that case, the Brotherhood had to completely isolate themselves from the rest of the world to work on their breeding program.

Also, I don't think Westcrown has a Duke. It currently is run by a Mayor.

This entry should have been titled Occupy Golarion not Brothers of Golarion. These guys are just like the Occupy Wallstreet goofballs that had no goals besides "tear it down". I do think they would make great antagonists though, I would love taking these guys on...and out.

Wax Message Tablets [292 words]

Aura faint abjuration, faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 2,000 gp; Weight 1 lb. (one tablet)
Description
These two writing tablets are formed from a single block of wax. Each tablet (9 inches wide, 12 inches tall, ¼ inch thick) is embedded in a polished wooden frame, complete with a stylus and slot to store it in. The frame keeps the wax in a usable state; it will not come out of the frame, or soften or harden too much to be used under normal circumstances, even in hot or cold weather. (This first effect does not protect the tablet against any determined attempt to break it, only from the exigencies of day-to-day usage and temperature.)

It seems like a lot of trouble to explain this item. I completely understand why you wrote it out, but why make it out of wax? Why not more conventional writing implements?

The real magic of the tablets, however, is the link between them. Any mark made on either tablet appears instantaneously on the other. This effect has no range limitation, but does not function across planar boundaries. Magical writings cannot be duplicated; the text is, but does not function as magical writing on either tablet. Likewise, any magical effects applied to the original writing are not duplicated on the other tablet; inscribing explosive runes on one tablet cannot affect anyone reading the other tablet, for example. Erasing (by smoothing out) marks on either tablet is likewise replicated instantaneously on the other.

This item might fall under the dreaded "makes adventuring easy" category that Dancy dislikes so much. In your own critique of your item you said that this item came about because you wanted to create an easier way for characters to communicate. I would put forth that lower level characters shouldn't have an easy way of communicating. If you look at it from a designers perspective, they have to try and create a balanced game that won't be broken by spells, feats, classes, archetypes and magic items. This item at low levels might be out of balance in their eyes.

If one tablet is broken, the link between the tablets is destroyed permanently. The other tablet remains intact, and the first effect continues to function for it, but impressions are no longer duplicated. A tablet whose link is destroyed no longer radiates transmutation.

It is extremely rare to find two linked tablets together, as their primary use is long-distance communication.

Why not use message in the spell requirements.erase and prestidigitation seem secondary to the main effect.

Construction Requirements
Craft Wondrous Item, endure elements, erase, prestidigitation; Cost 1,000 gp

On the plus side, I found it very well written and formatted correctly, except for putting Construction on the same line as Requirements. I completely left out the word Construction on my RPG Superstar submission and got gigged for it.

Now, some preemptive commentary & criticism of my own:

** spoiler omitted **...

Here is an item for your perusal. Dissect at your leisure.

Collar of Bloody Enlightenment [148 words]
Aura faint necromancy; CL 5th
Slot -; Price 5,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.

Description
This small collar made of dark leather is designed to allow a wizard greater bonding with his familiar at the cost of his own life.

A familiar wearing a collar of bloody enlightenment can bite its master, dealing 1d4 points of damage and create a symbiotic bond. This damage continues every round the two are joined. In exchange for his health, the wizard gains the familiar’s basic statistics, saving throws, senses and skills if they are better than his own. The wizard also gains access to the familiar’s special abilities. Once per round as a free action the wizard can take one ability from his familiar. He can choose any ability that his level would allow his familiar to have.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, vampiric touch; Cost 2,500 gp.

Lars Lundberg wrote:

Tome of Vile Training

*It's an archetype-in-a-can and a template-in-a-can...for your familiar? I guess someone really wanted to have an archetype round this year and found a way to squeeze it into their wondrous item submission. This isn't the place to explore this type of mechanic.

*Also, I'm annoyed that they left off "Construction" above "Requirements"...and, if they can bold the headers, they should know enough to italicize the spell names and capitalize "Medium" in the descriptive text as game terminology.

*Vote to Reject.

*This isn't an item. It's a familiar modification procedure. And while I like the idea, that's not the point. This is NOT a wondrous item.

*Reject.

*Rejected.

I tried to think outside the coffin (I hate boxes) on this item. I wasn't intentionally trying to circumvent the RPG Superstar contest by bringing in my own "archetype-in-a-can. I saw this as an opportunity to add some depth to a feature of the game (familiars) by using a method which was unconventional. Manuals and Tomes are standard in the PHB. They just provide a boring bonus to a stat. I thought I would tweak that and make the possibility of adding something truly interesting. Thanks for your look. I know better now. Special thanks to either Sean, Clark or Ryan, which ever one of you Medium-sized designers that said you liked the idea.

Thanks for your consideration and time

Tome of Vile Training
Aura moderate divination, illusion and necromancy; CL 7th
Slot –; Price 28,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.

Description
This slim book contains dark, arcane secrets and rituals for transforming a wizard’s familiar into a corrupted version of itself. If a wizard reads the tome and performs the rituals inscribed in the tome on his familiar for a total of 48 hours, over a minimum of six days, the familiar gains access to new and terrible powers to use at the aid of his master.

Veiled Advisor (Ex): The familiar gains a +5 to stealth checks, and the ability to speak and understand Aklo. This ability replaces speak with master.

Dark Guardian (Su): Once per day, with a standard action, the wizard turns his familiar into an alien phantasm of horrific appearance. The familiar’s statistics stay the same, but it becomes medium in size and gains the incorporeal subtype for one round for every four wizard levels. While in this form the wizard can deliver ranged touch and touch spells from the necromancy school through his familiar via the empathic link. This ability replaces deliver touch spells.

Bloody Enlightenment (Su): The familiar bites the wizard dealing 1d4 points of damage and attaches itself; dealing this damage every round the two are joined. In exchange for his health, the wizard gains the familiar’s basic statistics, saving throws, senses and skills if they’re better than his own. The wizard also gains access to the familiar’s special abilities. Once per round as a free action the wizard can take one ability from his familiar. He can choose any ability that his level would allow his familiar to have. This ability replaces speak with animal of its kind.

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, comprehend languages, phantasmal killer, vampiric touch; Cost 14,000 gp.

I am function over form also. During my item critique which will I will continue later tonight the question of "would I buy the item" is paramount.

That question "would I buy it" drove me crazy last year. I made an item that was a function item and it didn't even make it past one judge. I understand the process. But it still drives you a little crazy when you think a certain way and kind of expect everyone else to do the same. I would love to see a breakdown of criteria from the judges on what was important. I think it would be intersting to see who has what criteria as the top of their list.

It kills you to wonder what you did wrong. I've lost sleep the last couple of nights wondering if I didn't format the {b\} correctly for the post. I've wondered if I tinkered with the rules too much when I wrote my item. I've wondered if I got 2 votes and was close or was an auto reject and way out the ballpark. It's fun and stressful all wrapped up into one joyful bundle. I can't wait for the critique thread. No...I don't want to know....yes I do...no I don't...ARGHHH!

I am curious about the "golden ticket" element of the judging. Is it really necessary? Doesn't the normal process of evaluation give us the strongest candidates? Several judges critique an item, they agree or disagree on the relative strengths and weaknesses of the item and consensus rules. The ticket seems to circumvent this process, allowing a judge to pick one item, regardless of what the other judges say, and put it through. Am I wrong in my assumption of how the ticket works?

interesting idea, kind of a Schindler's List vibe to the organization. Interesting choice of Razmiran. Is their headquarters in Razmiran?

I really like the visual this item gives me, but I can't seem to wrap my head around the process that would happen in combat with this item. So I tried thinking through a likely scenario. Player has lit lantern in hand and spends some kind of action (what kind I don't know since it doesn't say. It seems like a full round action is in order since you have to pull out the slide and insert it into a lantern). Then the image is displayed on a wall where bad guys can see it. They have to make a saving throw because the images are scary. If they fail the save they will immediately run away and leave the area, thus negating the damaging abilities of the silhouette. Even if they are shaken, wouldn't they try to avoid being affected by the scary thing they are looking at? It seems counterintuitive to me. Is it assumed that those who are shaken or frightened will affected, even if they aren't looking anymore?Plus, it would affect any player looking at it as well. Was this item meant to solely be used by NPC's?

While I hate to see anybody drop out of the contest, in this case I'm consoled because the twitchy little pugfoot gets through. I loved this item and would have been distraught to see it languish as an alternate.

I'm curious what it was about this item that made you think it was worthy of being in the round of 32? Is it purely the mayhem and mirth it would potentially create in a game session? Of all the submissions this one seemed to play that card, a strategy that could have easily backfired. Maybe I don't see it but was there a chord that it struck that stands out over other jokey submissions?

My predilection is to side with people who aren't being smarmy and inconsiderate, even to people they may not respect.

It's interesting how people react to polarizing figures. I think he has some innovative ideas about the industry that sometines pushes people out their comfort zone, especially when it comes to their favorite games. I worked for WotC back in the late 90's in their short-lived retail division as a store manager. When WotC was considering the impact of roleplaying games being actually played in a retail setting he wanted to fully understand its ramifications on the retail side of the business. He actually came to my store to meet with me and get my perspective on business and the game. Throughout my time there, and when he was in charge, I saw changes in product cycles, backstock management and marketing. OGL is perhaps what he is best known for, but he had his hands in a lot of business features. Many of which were established RPG practices. Those practices upset some gamers who liked their hobby the way it used to be, whether it was product or delivery. I don't know how many times I heard a customer gripe about not having the old 2nd edition product for them to buy.

My hope is that Ryan will bring a fresh perspective to this genre. People are debating factions and guilds and crafting and whether the game will be free or not. All of this stuff has been done before. I am hoping for a game that doesn't conform to the accepted MMO norms. I worry a little with the scope they mention where "everyone can do whatever they want". It would be a mistake in my mind to try and just use all the tried and true MMO crutches to put out a game that will actually only appeal to a few. there is a saying in the teaching profession: A mile wide and an inch deep. It refers to a method of learning a subject. It is very popular with big companies who put out curriculum. What it means is that you cover huge amounts of information, but spend very little time on it. The thought is that by exposure to it, the kids will pick it up...eventually. I don't want a game that throws everything at me and expects me to pick it up. I have faith that Ryan can provide the direction to a new MMO experience, no matter how painful it might be to some of us.

Well, I have played many characters in 3.x that I would retool in mid-game with PrCs. Sometimes by using several PrCs to get the feel I want.

Most PrCs do not really need to be aimed for from 1st level. Usually at most it would take me a level or two to focus in on a PrC and get it. Does the level or two ultimately hurt me? No, because it did focus my skills and abilities toward my ultimate goal anyway.

I often play games that run up to level 20 or higher. It is not unusual for me to get around level 7 and decide to refocus and take a PrC around level 10, then get a tighter focus and take another at level 15. None of the PrCs were even considered at creation. It's not a big deal at all.

The ONLY problem I have found with PrCs is that as you narrow your focus you run the risk of becoming a one trick pony. If a GM throws something at you from left field, you are so screwed.

Now, in Pathfinder, I have not used any PrCs at all because I like the base classes so well I don't even want to multi-class. There is just so much fun stuff to play with in each base class I could be happy for years before ever planning on doing a PrC. Those capstone powers are just too much fun, I don't want to loose them.

That is exactly why they added the much needed bump in abilities to most base classes. Paizo saw the problem that prestige classes were causing and needed to give players a reason to stick with a class for balance sake. You also mentioned the problem of PrCs being a one trick pony which has always been my bugaboo about them. One player that I play with always makes these awesomely powered, prestige class dipping, characters that always have a very narrow skill set. It always is the characters undoing. I just wish we had a system that rewards creativity and variety without sacrificing balance.

While Archetypes do fulfill a role of retooling a class to fit a concept, they utterly fail once play has begun. Unless a group is running a prestructured Adventure Path, a lot of homebrew games will see a great amount of change in the nature of their campaign over play.

So, while an Archetype works great for adding some cool flavor at level 1, it completely fails to allow a player to refocus his character at a later level. That is where Prestige Classes come into play.

A Prestige Class is great for restructuring your character to fit the direction a game is going. They are great for focusing a game and group once play has begun.

Unless the prestige classes were homebrewed, how could any player possibly be able to change mid-campaign to go in a new direction with a prestige class. In my experience they only way to make prestige classes work is to plan there use at the very first stages of creation. Even with the increase in feats in Pathfinder it would probably still mean a level or two loss in a base class to fit into a new prestige class.

Working with the DM can help, but there is always the issue of players pushing for more power for their characters, versus the need of the DM to keep the campaign balanced. I would like to see a system that has customization with built in limits that let players choose what they want without greatly exceeding AC, skill, attack and damage thresholds that can break games. I think as we go along, we will see the same problems with archetypes as we will with Prestige Classes.

This whole conversation comes down to customization. We all want to customize, but the problem comes up that when you add more choices, the harder it is to balance the game. That is why the dipping problem got worse as the amount of 3.5 material got larger. You could always find some new prestige class that added a gamebreaking mechanic to a campaign. I love customization for the purpose of variety and personality. I am against customization for the purpose of min/maxing.

mmmmmm....muffins

Tainted Evoker (Sorcerer)

Some sorcerers don't gain power through blood, but are tainted by magic through rituals, overexposure, or other means. The tainted evoker can weave raw magic with ease.

I'm not sure I see the connection between taint and using force magic. I didn't think that force magic was raw magic. When I think of taint, it immediately brings up an L5R connotation for me though, so I might be off base here.

Evocation’s Taint: At 1st level, the tainted evoker gains hand of force and force missile. You gain +2 DC to your evocation spells. At 3rd level, and every two level thereafter, a sorcerer learns an additional evocation spell for the highest spell level known. This ability replaces the sorcerer’s bloodline.

This is a pretty good trade off for losing a bloodline. The +2 to DC might be a little much at 1st level. Maybe a scaling bonus to DC and one that doesn't stack with spell focus, otherwise a character could be +3 to DC at first level, pretty significant.

Hand of Force (Sp): The sorcerer can form a small hand that grabs a single object or creature of equal or lesser size. You can move 100 pounds per sorcerer level within range (25 ft + 5 ft/level) at a speed of 10 ft/round as long as you maintain concentration. A creature gets a Ref save (DC 10 + ½ sorcerer’s level [minimum 1] + Cha modifier) to prevent being grabbed. Failing to grab a creature wastes one use per day. Once a creature is grabbed, it gains the grappled condition (escape CMD = 10 + sorcerer’s level + Cha modifier + hand size modifier). No CMB check is needed to move the creature. You gain one hand of force upgrade at every odd level. This ability can be used a number of times per day equal to 3 + your Cha modifier.

I like this ability. Very cool. Grabbing people like a Grasping Hand and the additional abilities make it interesting as you go up in levels.

Force Missile (Sp): The sorcerer can make a ranged touch attack with a force missile. The range is 25 ft + 5 ft/level and the base force damage is 1d4 + ½ sorcerer’s level. Force missile uses a CMB = sorcerer’s level + Cha modifier. You gain one force missile upgrade at every even level. This ability can be used a number of times per day equal to 3 + your Cha modifier.

Another scalable ability. It seems well thought out, with lots of cool things to choose from. I was kind of hoping you would go another route with the force magic. With as much firepower as you are giving them with the force spells, this ability might be unnecessary. How about a wall power or shield power. Still I think its mechanically sound and not overpowered.

Overall, this is a well thought out archetype and is better than several on the top 32. Your upgrades are a good way for players to customize their individual evokers without overbalancing it.

Hand of Force Upgrades (prerequisite upgrade and/or sorcerer level)
Speedy: +10 ft/round movement
Powerful (11th): +100% weight lifted
Bigger: increase size by one category
Tighter: +2 to Ref DC and CMD

Force Missile Upgrades
Improved (6th): increase base damage die to 1d8
Greater (Improved, 12th): increase base damage die...

Thomas has a pretty good point, though. You don't need a henchman class to be a henchman, and your class does appear to sublimate a party fighter to another member of the party. It's poor design. The idea of the loyal bodyguard is a common niche and filling it isn't a bad idea, but your execution deserves the criticism you're getting. Be tough.

I just think you don't even really need the class to capture that flavor. Give me my full compliment of bonus feats, and between Aid Another, Combat Patrol, Bodyguard, In Harm's Way, Covering Defense, Dazzling Display, various combat maneuvers (reposition ftw!), and maybe a few magic items or spells, I'll protect my boy just fine. Looking at APG archetype, a polearm master or phalanx fighter do a pretty decent job.

My Rokugan game has a yojimbo for one of the other PCs. We talked about the 3.0 prestige class and other stuff, and he decided he'd just rather take scout, rogue and apply Pathfinder feats.

Try not to take offense - Tom is giving the feedback you asked for. It's not like it's harsher than what the actual contestants are receiving. Count the number of times this round that Mr. Dancey uses the word 'sucks'.

Thank you Steven for looking at my archetype and I do agree with many of your points. I thought of this archetype as an any class archetype, something original I thought might interest the judges if I made it to round two. I guess the major point I was trying to make and if I sound short with Tom I am sorry. I guess my frustration is with this overall attitude in roleplayers that if their character isn't the one who gets to the do the coolest ability regardless of the conditions of the battle or helping others succeed than they don't want to play. I've played this game for a long time and I've seen it over and over. No one wants to be the cleric. No one wants to waste an action doing an action that would make the situation more advantageous to the whole group, not just themselves. I guess ol' Tom just set off that nerve. I don't see creating an archetype that supports others as "poor" design. It just might not suit your style. I know I am in the minority in this discussion.

Henchman (fighter) by Lars Lundberg

Who wants to play an NPC sounding character?

My liege: ARGH, ne'er require a GM to spend so much time on the player's character. GM should be focusing on the campaign.

And I am stopping there. Who wants to play as a servant?

EDIT: Sorry to be so mean, but try remaking the character as a bodyguard.

Obviously, this doesn't appeal to everyone. Especially for those who think this kind of archetype wouldn't allow them to "shine" in combat. I can't say I'm impressed with a lot of the archetypes I have seen. Everything is about trying to make a certain attack or ability super powerful by level 10-15 so that they can uberstrike the bad guy. I knew the name henchman might make people think this was a joke or an NPC archetype but it is neither. The history of henchmen in literature and even in the D&D game are rich and interesting. Gary Gygax himself had lots of people in his game who played henchmen for the main characters. Did this make them less valuable. NO! Have you thought about the coolness of being a henchmen. Where would the Green Hornet be without Cato, How about Goldfinger without Oddjob and last but not least, The Emperor without Darth Vader. All of these cool characters were henchmen. They were dangerous, interesting and yes they sacrificed to help their leader. Mock my entry if you want, but take the time to look at the idea instead of pigeonholing it.

Henchman (fighter)
Evil masterminds, valiant kings and powerful wizards have always attracted lesser men to their cause, especially if those leaders can provide fame and fortune. The ones who show the most promise are given the honor of standing at the side of their chosen liege in battle. Do not take these men lightly though for many are doughty warriors in their own right.

My liege: A henchman must have a designated leader. He travels with him and does his bidding. That being said, a henchman is a willing participant in this relationship. He does so for his own profit. He does not get paid a salary. Instead he shares in the spoils of war that his liege obtains. If the henchman archetype is picked for a PC then the player must select one of the other PC’s in the party to be his leader. This relationship must be worked out by both players and the DM. Woe to the liege though that betrays his henchman, for none knows his strengths and weaknesses better.

Stay Behind Me (EX): A henchman knows that his job is to keep his liege safe. He can do this by sacrificing some of his own personal safety. As a swift action a henchman can give his liege or anyone his liege designates a +1 dodge bonus to his AC by taking a -2 penalty to his own AC. In return a henchman gains a +2 bonus to damage against anyone threatening his liege that the henchman also threatens. The liege and henchman must be adjacent to each other for this ability. This takes the place of the 1st level bonus feat

Menacing (EX): A henchman has to look and act tough to keep his liege out of harms way. Starting at 2nd level a henchman gets a +1 bonus to Intimidate checks when used to Demoralize an opponent. This bonus increases by +1 for every four levels beyond 2nd. At 6th level the shaken condition from Demoralize is increased to 1d4 rounds. At 10th level Demoralize can be attempted with a move action. This replaces bravery.

Support (EX): A henchman is a team player and can be valuable ally. Starting at 3rd level a henchman can Aid Another in combat with a move action instead of a standard action. The bonus is only a +1 to hit or +1 to AC though. This bonus increases by +1 for every five levels beyond 3rd. This replaces armor training 1,2,3 and 4.

Teamwork (EX): All teamwork feats are available to the henchman as bonus fighter feats, including Duck and Cover and Shielded Caster.

Divide by (5 divided by charge per day)???
Multiply lower item cost by 1.5???
Spell level x caster level x 2,000gp unless the item lasts rounds, minutes, hours, days then multiply by 4,2,1.5 or divide in half???

The one complaint about the RPG Superstar competition is pricing a Wondrous Item. I spent almost as much time trying to price my item as I did developing the idea. Am I crazy or do the rules given for creating and pricing a Wondrous Item just not make sense? I tried looking at Wondrous Items that were already created and in the Core Rulebook, but 90% of them didn't seem to follow the rules given. As it was, I had to make the decision to either price my item using the formulae given or use my gut feeling for what my item was worth. Since the contest stressed being professional and accurate I decided to go with the formulae. Now, that being said, I could be completely wrong about how I calculated my item so I am hoping that people out there can give me a hand. I don't want to delve into my specific item but I would like some feedback from the community on how they do this in their own campaigns or for this contest.

Okay all here's my entry, it is slightly different than the one I posted on the judges board

Stone of Banishment

Aura: Moderate Abjuration; CL 7th
Slot-; Price 8000 gp, Weight 1lb

Description: This round stone when given the command word "entrap" emits a high energy vortex. The vortex is powerful enough to suck in the form of any extraplanar creature(CR 9 or lower). The creature(s) remain trapped within the stone for 1d6 days. A caster of 7th level or higher can command the stone to banish said creatures to another plane. The stone turns to dust after 3 uses.

Construction
Requirements: Craft Wonderous Item, banishment, Cost 4000 gp

I don't think we need to know the command word. What is a "high energy vortex" is it flavor? It has nothing to do with the spell banishment. How did you arrive at CR 9 as a benchmark. No other Pathfinder publication uses CR as a method of determing effect. Hit Dice would have been much better. Another problem is that the creature gets no saving throw. This is WAY overbalanced. This item just doesn't seem thought through.

Interested in seeing what people thought of this entry - i can already spot lots of problems i missed before i submitted it. Feel free to be highly critical.

I'm not going to nitpick over grammar or spelling errors, we beat ourselves up enough over them anyway. I think we all just want to know about the meat of our item. So here goes.

Torc of Totemic Form
Aura moderate transmutation CL 10th
Slot neck; Price 20,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This torc, made of twisted bone and ivory, bears a series of highly stylised animal carvings along its outer edges.
Once per day the torc can be used, at will, to transform the wearer into an animal form (as per the spell beast shape III except as noted blelow) for a period of up to two hours.

I looked at the spell beast shape III and wild shape for a user of this level (10th I believe). How did you arrive at 2 hours for the duration? Also, I would rather see an item with shorter duration that could be turned on and off like a boots of speed. Also, beast shape III lets you change into much cooler stuff than the animals listed below which could be achieved with a beast shape I. Your description never really explains why these animals are significant and to place value judgements on certain types of animals as evil, good or neutral seems a little strange. None of those animals have that alignment.

The type of animal transformed into is determined by the wearer's alignment and highest of the statistics Intelligence, Wisdom or Charisma, according to the table below.

.....................Int........Wis.........Chr
Good........... Fox*......Owl........Hawk
Neutral.....Weasel....Lizard......Cat
Evil.............Raven......Rat........Viper

* Fox should be treated as a dog with the young template

Changing form (to an animal or back) is a full-round action and provokes an attack of opportunity. The wearer's appearance in animal form is in all respects typical for an animal of the appropriate species of the same sex as the wearer. Should the wearer's alignment or statistics change for any reason after their first use of the torc, the type of animal polymorphed into does not change.

If the wearer of the torc is affected by any spell or other effect which would polymorph her into an animal (such as baleful polymorph), she may elect to ignore all effects of that spell and instead be affected as if she had used the torc normally. Once used, the torc can not be used by any other person unless the previous wearer has died.

Why add these rules, it just takes up space. I don't know of any other items with death rules like this or spell effect protection like you indicated.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wonderous Item, beast shape III or Wild Shape (4/day) ability; Cost 10,000 gp

Lastly, this is not a criticism, but I am interested in how you arrived at your price for this item. I am curious because after making my own item, the rules as they are written seem completely unable to prepare you to price an item accurately. I took a shot in the dark and still fudged my numbers because it seemed astronomical.

here is mine for review... I intended this item to work with the AT I created for the contest, the villain, and finally the lands and module.. enjoy and feel free to use it.

Boots of the Masterful Step
Aura: faint Transmutation Magic; CL 6th
Slot Feet; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 2 pounds

The price is the same as the cost to make. It should be twice as much

These typical looking black leather boots grant the wearer with the ability to consciously control the nature of their footprints and adjust them at will simply by thinking about the creature, animal, humanoid or giant which is within the size limitations they wish to mimic and those tracks are left.

This sentence is unwieldy (a problem I had with mine, so you're not alone). Two sentences would have been better I think.

The wearer can also decide to leave no tracks at all or stop and start tracks at will. The wearer can also decide to increase or decrease the size of the tracks they leave by 1 size category. (For instance a Medium sized creature wearing these boots could leave footprints of a Troll or Hobbit.) These boots will adjust to fit Small, Medium, or Large sized creatures but are generally found in Medium sizes.

Limitations: The Boots cannot replicate the tracks of magical creatures, outsiders or creatures that are larger or smaller then the size restrictions of the wearer. Example: Someone that is a small size could not duplicate large sized creature’s footprints.

Overall I liked the concept of the item, but one thought came to mind--what about the rest of the party? If this item is meant solely for an NPC it probably wouldn't be put into a published book meant for players and DM's alike. It would only be useful in lone wolf scenarios. I liked that it was functinal and your rules made sense. I really detest those whimsical roleplaying items that sound interesting but are very limited in the situations they could be used. If you could have made an item that altered the tracks of multiple people at once I would have put you against most of the 32 in the running.
Faint transmutation Magic; CL 6th; Craft Wondrous Item, Alter Self; Pass Without Trace; Price 10,000 gp.

“The Ranger indicated that the tracks left by the thief were made by a goblin. We followed them till we reached the bridge leading outside of town. From that point on the only tracks remaining were made by that of men. We could not find the goblin tracks which seemed to vanish into thin air. After further investigation past the bridge a single set of human tracks lead off towards the Ordine Swamp fields. Out of instinct we decided to follow those, soon after the human tracks vanished not far from a ruined old abandoned tower. We all agreed to investigate further.”

Lars Lundberg wrote:

Disk of Launching

Well, I rather like it on a creative level.

Things that I don't like:
1) Charges. Usages per day would likely be a better choice.
2) Dimension Door as a requirement. There doesn't seem to be any teleportation.
3) Strange, sometimes redundant, mechanical wording, such as the magical detection and "After the disk is done being used..."
4) Minor grammatical errors, such as "Then the disk..."
5) The aim mechanic is relatively clunky. It's a magical item, not a computer.

Things that irk me:
Myriad is not a noun and should not have "a" in front of it.

Thanks for the feedback, good to have someone finally look at it. I agree with you on several points. My grammar in spots was off. I remember playing with it and playing with it. I have no idea why I added Dimension Door now that I think back. I went with charges because I was it made the item cost less and it seemed like an item that could be abused. Could have gone with a usage per day limit, but what number? A huge problem in my mind. Screw up once and someone gets left behind. I liked the aiming. Thought it might add an element of danger to the usage. "You thought that wall was 100 feet away? guess what-- it's 90 feet away." Thought about adding the rules from telekinesis for just such an event but ran out of word space. Lastly... myriad can be used as a noun. I've used it a myriad of times before. ;)

Once again, thanks for writing

Since I have little hope that my item will get reviewed since it is on page 10 of the Judge my item board, here goes.

Disk of Launching
Aura: Moderate transmutation; CL 12th
Slot -; Price 27,000 gp; Weight 10 lb

The disk of launching, or manapult as it is commonly referred, is a magical device designed to fling a person or object into the air. Originally, this item was designed to be used by soldiers during a siege, but now it has found favor among adventurers wishing to overcome a myriad of obstacles.
The device is a 1-ft diameter wooden disk that comes in a carrying case. Both the case and the disk detect as magical. The disk of launching is activated by speaking the command word and giving a verbal height and distance measurement in 5-ft increments, along with a direction. This takes a full-round action to complete and uses 1 charge. If a precise measurement is required by the DM, the user must make an Intelligence check DC 10. The device can achieve a height and distance of up to 100-ft in both directions. After the height and distance are set, the disk is placed upon a solid surface.
Once the disk is set, as a full-round action, a medium or smaller creature weighing less than 300 lbs can step on the disk or an object weighing 300 lbs or less can be placed upon it. Then the disk launches the user or object into the air until it reaches the precise height and distance. Then a feather fall spell is activated, allowing for a safe and controlled descent.
After the disk is done being used, it can be recalled to the carrying case by speaking a second command word while holding the case. This also uses 1 charge. The disk and case hold 50 charges.

Construction
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, dimension door, feather fall and telekinesis; Cost 13,500 gp

Thanks Sean, It's amazing how easy it is in the process of creating, refining and submitting an item how your mind can get all twisted up. It seems obvious when you say that fixing technical errors is a lot easier than fixing someone's creativity. When I started the process I made three different items and used my friends as sounding boards. In the end I went with the item that was the most technically sound but not the most creative. I was trying to hedge my bets a little. But to go "all in" I guess.

I hope next year Paizo goes with a different opening contest though, maybe a spell contest or feat contest. I hated trying to calculate the magic item cost. Talk about goofy.

Once again, thanks for your effort. You are one of my favorite designers and I still cherish my signed copies of The Scarlet Brotherhood and The Crypt of Lyzandred the Mad both are well used and well loved.

What I learned from RPG Superstar...Hmmm, interesting question. Looking over the winning entries and reading some of the judges comments, it seems as if functionality wasn't on the top of their list for discarding an object. It seems like a more emotional response was given for keeping an item. Many items were kept for further consideration because they were cool and had interesting flavor or concept. I think the judges were more willing to forgive technical errors, whether it be in grammar, formatting or mechancs if the item was exciting. I'm sure there were some very good items that people submitted that were functionally strong entries that were passed on because judges just didn't "connect" with them.

It would be intersting to survey the judges and get their take on their criteria for a winning item. Here are some criteria that I came up with: functionality(usefulness of an item), flavor(interesting concept), proper formatting(followed the template), grammar(can you spell and punctuate) and mechanics(does it follow the rules of Pathfinder).

Once again, thanks to the Paizo and the judges for an exciting contest. Thanks for all the time and effort to make us a part of your creation.

Thanks for your time

Disk of Launching
Aura: Moderate transmutation; CL 12th
Slot -; Price 27,000 gp; Weight 10 lb

The disk of launching, or manapult as it is commonly referred, is a magical device designed to fling a person or object into the air. Originally, this item was designed to be used by soldiers during a siege, but now it has found favor among adventurers wishing to overcome a myriad of obstacles.
The device is a 1-ft diameter wooden disk that comes in a carrying case. Both the case and the disk detect as magical. The disk of launching is activated by speaking the command word and giving a verbal height and distance measurement in 5-ft increments, along with a direction. This takes a full-round action to complete and uses 1 charge. If a precise measurement is required by the DM, the user must make an Intelligence check DC 10. The device can achieve a height and distance of up to 100-ft in both directions. After the height and distance are set, the disk is placed upon a solid surface.
Once the disk is set, as a full-round action, a medium or smaller creature weighing less than 300 lbs can step on the disk or an object weighing 300 lbs or less can be placed upon it. Then the disk launches the user or object into the air until it reaches the precise height and distance. Then a feather fall spell is activated, allowing for a safe and controlled descent.
After the disk is done being used, it can be recalled to the carrying case by speaking a second command word while holding the case. This also uses 1 charge. The disk and case hold 50 charges.

Construction
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, dimension door, feather fall and telekinesis; Cost 13,500 gp