Elminster, Rockstar of Wizardry wrote:
*Ugh* begins looking up "how to contact Red Mantis Assassins"
It's alright guys, this is on me, there's a reason I faked my death and moved to Golarion...
This one gets a little more adult :-)
Can we talk about Elminster banging the girls he raised for Mystra, you know I got in on that action with Laeral, man you should've seen her when she was possessed by that Artifact, here I painted a picture of it. But no one talks about that! It's all Elminster totally shagged the Simbul as a cat under some chick's bed.
How is it everyone goes to him to bail them out! I turned a Harpell into a f#~~ing Archmage! Do you know how huge that is!
I'm just gonna go paint Laeral again, maybe about that one time when Drizz't stayed over...
Why is Elminster so f!%#ing popular, that old piece of f!*%ing s%@% doesn't do anything, just sits in his tower smoking pot while his gay over achieving scribe does everything for him, meanwhile he bangs all these chicks he raised from babies (ewww, by the f#+!ing way) i.... i....just don't get it, i run f~!!ing Waterdeep practically by myself, well other then that ranger guy that lures people into his well/torture dungeon..... er, sorry i mean "Undermountain"
crap forgot where i was going..... oh yeah, does this robe make me look fat.... also i think Laeral is cheating on me.....