Strangely, I think my PCs would like the idea that they no longer cast a shadow, even though it has no overt effect on the rules. Everyone likes to feel special, and this is a great way to make a player feel special without disrupting game mechanics. So the item has a lot of flavor that most players would respond too, even though I can't remember the last time I've seen a player cast cast chill touch. The spell isn't that bad, but there are usually too many other superior options to use an attack action on (vampiric touch would have been more practical, at least for my PCs).
The shadow released on death makes me think this item is for NPCs villains, and I can actually see it working well in that regard. PCs wouldn't enjoy this feature of the item as much, because if you're character is dead, you're already bummed out, and releasing an avenging shadow isn't going to change the equation much.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
Seems solid on this front. If I had to nitpick, I'm would say that using the "assist other" rule to assist yourself is a little weird. If I were to introduce this as a mechanic, my PCs would probably start looking for other opportunities in which they could "assist other" themselves, and that's a can of rules-lawyering worms that I would rather just leave closed. I think it would be easier to just say "+2 circumstance bonus on your next attack".
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
I'm sure my PCs could find a use for this. I also think they would eventually ask why they couldn't produce this same effect with other illusion spells. All in all, I think this is a good set of rules for describing what happens when you use illusion magic to make yourself look bigger than you really are, which is something most PCs will try eventually. I think the rules for illusion magic are riddled with ambiguity and I always appreciate attempts by designers to plug these holes.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
Sure. I actually think this mechanic is pretty adaptable for a distant surface cousin of the displacer beast, a lynx-like creature that lives in a fey forest and appears to double in size when it is hunting or threatened. Veteran rangers know this to be a magical illusion. Anyway, I digress. Your item rocks!
Om nom nom nom! Troll fingers. You know, when I first read the name of this item, I thought, hmmmm, I bet you are going to eat these... so I'm at least as sick as you are :)
I'm with Eric on this one, I think you should have stayed on the sickened -> nauseated track, and then maybe even have a Fort save to avoid falling unconscious at the end of the duration. That way it's like a beneficial time bomb. The player regenerates as time goes on, but he's also getting sicker and sicker and he knows that eventually he may conk out.
I also think an hour is too long for a duration as the players could theoretically jam in a lot of encounters in during a single hour. I would have this an encounter use item, and have the duration be a minute or so.
Anyway, these are just my suggested tweaks. I think you have an interesting item and I always like it when someone goes for broke on the gross-out front. Congrats on making the top 32!
I'm not 100% sold on this item. There are things I like and things I don't like. On the up side, It's a fun idea with a lot of interesting applications. The item also scales well with the players' creativity, which I always appreciate.
On the down side, I'm worried that it's a much better version of ranged legerdemain (an arcane trickster ability). I don't know if this ability made it into Pathfinder, but farming out superior versions of a prestige classes' abilities as magical items can be problematic, especially considering the relatively low price of the item. Granted it's only a once a day thing, so it is limited to that degree.
I have a lot of other questions too. What happens if the distant square is hit with area of effect damage? What happens if an archer has line of sight on the distant square, but not the glove wearer? What happens if another creature enters the distant square? I can infer answers to the these questions and make a call, but my players may try to argue otherwise, which always slows down play.
I think you have a great item at the core here, it just needs a few rough edges smoothed out first.
Ah ha, a magical submarine. I'm not familiar with the crab version of this item, so I'll refrain from comment, but based on the other replies in this thread, it seems you have done well extending the item in new directions, and done so in a way that shows intuition and an firm grasp of the rules mechanics of the squid MM entry. I tend to stay away from underwater adventures myself, but I have to admit that this item looks like a lot of fun and it's tempting me to introduce it as a means to get to a magically sealed underwater city. Good work.
I love this item too. I really like the name and it gives me a great mental image of a monk walking calmly across a gaping chasm into a dragon's lair, cherry blossoms swirling about his feet. This is the kind of item that needs to be used in lieu of the straight-up fly mechanic in my opinion. A flying carpet can be game-breaking as the PCs often use it to stay out of reach of melee monsters while they rain down spells and arrows (which is fun for maybe one fight, but is often used to trivialize many different types of encounters). This item avoids that problem while still retaining much of the utility of a flying carpet. Great work! Seven Thousand Blossoms... yeah, love the name!
I think the item is great. It’s small, contained, works once and then must be refilled. In the past, I haven’t liked giving players permanent energy resistance items, as it often leads to abuse and meta gaming, but the low resistance value here and the fact that the resistance is temporarily stripped after it absorbs a certain amount of damage is a clever little work around for these concerns. I would like to see a lot more energy resistance items work like this in the future, as opposed to say, a cloak that always grants fire resistance 10, which tends to trivialize most fire hazards (just to illustrate one of my concerns regarding energy resistance items).
Also, using holy water to absorb negative energy damage works well in my mind, and I can easily see the concept applied in the opposite direction as well, meaning unholy water absorbing radiant damage. I can even see the idea applied in other directions, such as vials of magically distilled elemental water granting fire resistance and so on… As I said above, I think this will replace the mechanic for energy resistance items in my campaign going forward; it’s a much more interesting way to handle the concept and still inspires the players to avoid taking damage, even though they are resistant to it. Great job here!
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
I would put some kind of limitation as to how often this can be used or how many shadows you can summon at one time or how long the shadows persist before dissipating; otherwise someone could just go on knitting forever to summon a shadow army (or am I missing something here? I'm surprised the other judges didn't comment on this). But I think that in general a one shadow at a time rule was implied.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
I would love to see the look on my PCs faces when I told them that they would have to invest skill points in Craft (knitting) to use an item, but I get that this is an item designed for NPC villains and I'm okay with that.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
The idea of knitting or weaving shadow monsters is killer! I really like this item for that reason. I'm envisioning an encounter where the PCs are talking with a bog hag, disguised as an old woman, who is slowly knitting a shadow from her rocking chair. They don't realize something is amiss until the shadow is almost done and starts to slither across the floor. Awesome!
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
Very cool idea here. You definitely need some more language regarding what situations these transformations can and cannot work under. My PCs are going to try to use this to do all kinds of crazy things, and it would be best to have more guidance on what they can get away with. What happens if this is used on an earth elemental or a vampire? Are they considered magical? What happens if this is used on a dragon's horn (technically horn is not "alive" but it is enervated with veins and arteries, so the dragon could suffer damage and bleed when it's horn is turned to paper and torn off). I can come up with rules calls for these situations on the fly, but it's always a good to head these kinds of arguments from players off at the pass.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
Indeed! This item's greatest weakness from a balance standpoint is also its greatest strength from a fun-standpoint. It's incredibly versatile. There are a lot of uses here and the item scales well with the players' creativity. Again, rules lawyers may try to push the envelope (see above), but this still doesn't change the fact that the item has a cool concept at its core.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
Yes, the mojo is solid. You've adapted the idea of alchemy pretty well across a number of different materials and it's a good extrapolation of the old rock to mud type spells.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
I've said this about several items in the top 32, but even more than the rest I'm worried this would require too much bookkeeping. It’s going to slow down a combat encounter when a player has to reference a table each time they are hit with a spell and then calculate, say, the result of 80% of 29 points of damage. As far as class balance is concerned, I'm also worried this item could be used to trivialize encounters against large groups of lower level mages. Low level mages are "glass cannons" to begin with, and someone with this item would take away the mages’ only real advantage, which is their ability to deal damage from a safe distance.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
My PCs would use this item. The concept is actually interesting and fun, but it could be a lot cleaner and a lot more elegant. Let me say this first part again, because I think I came down on this item a bit too hard in the above question... this wondrous item is a stellar concept. With a bit of mechanical streamlining, this idea will really shine.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
This is what I really like about the item… lots of solid mojo here. The idea of a magical dandelion that is activated by scattering its seeds invokes an fantastic mental image that is perfect for high fantasy. Great job here.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
I was right there with you until I read the line that this can cure "any persistent condition short of death". That's an alarmingly vague phrase that essentially lets the PCs work out whatever they want, from lycanthropy to domination to mummy rot. I haven't really thought it through, but on the surface, this feels unbalanced to me.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
My PCs would probably toss this in their backpacks and forget about it until they had an unknown potion to test for poison. They would only use it to remove a persistent condition if they absolutely had to—as it’s too good to waste on effects that can be easily dispelled or cured—and it would likely hang around on their character sheets indefinitely. It’s so powerful, the PCs would want to save it.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
I actually really like the mojo of this item and I dig the idea of an item that extracts poison and concentrates it into a solid sphere that can be stored like a marble. A slightly modified version of this item (i.e. a skull-shaped loadstone that attracts poison) would be a great way to start giving my PCs a new type of treasure (i.e. poison) that they can extract from certain slain monsters.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
I don't think this item is unbalanced, but, hmmm, I don't like things that give permanent luck bonuses, mostly because the next logical extension of this kind of design is to keep inventing newer and newer abstract categories of bonuses that come from more and more wondrous items... karma bonuses ... constellation bonuses... divine favor bonuses... and eventually you have defeated the whole elegant purpose of having a limited number of AC bonus categories in the first place. I'm not saying you can never have an item confer a luck bonus; I'm just saying it should be done sparingly and carefully. Since the tankard seems meant to be used in place of shield, why not just make it a shield bonus instead… or even an armor bonus (since Cayden's followers often fight bare-chested anyway)?
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
The x3 free healing potions a day reminds me a lot of 4E's healing surge system, which my players actually like a lot (it's a great way take the burden off the healer who otherwise has to use all his spell slots on the walking wounded). So yes, I can see this item going over well with my PCs, though it would largely be used out of combat to recover between battles. I think it’s great for this reason.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
Alcohol is actually a mild poison, so I'm not sure why it's healing people in this case. I know Cayden makes alcoholism work for him, and I get that this is magically transmuted booze, but in my experience, alcohol doesn't fortify anyone; it does the opposite in fact (though it is a lot of fun). Seems like a slight mechanic-thematic mismatch here.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
Yikes, I'm imagining an archer PC vs an NPC caster and this feels grossly unbalanced. Being able to automatically steal a spell from an enemy caster as an immediate action and then sling it back on your next ranged attack is huge. Think of what you're taking away from this enemy caster... they lose their spell slot, their attack action, the damage the spell would have done, and they're giving all that to you, essentially for free. You take his attack, use it against him, and then get three or four more attacks of your own (since archer characters can typically fire multiple arrows per round). This is what my gaming group calls an "I win" button. Meaning, if you use against the right opponent, you win the fight. Worse, you can do it all again the next day since this is a once a day thing.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
My PCs would love this item, especially an archer PC, as they would essentially steamroll enemy casters. At the very least, this would force enemy casters to only use area of effect spells instead of direct damage spells.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
The concept of infusing a ranged weapon with a spell is interesting, I commend you there. I can definitely see a new class of archer-casters built around this concept; it would require a bit more tuning though to make sure it's balanced and appropriate.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
I've said this in a few other responses to the top 32, but I generally like items that assist Skill checks as opposed to items that trivialize skill checks. In this regard, I think you did a great job with this item. The key reduces the DC in elegant and easy to understand manner, but it is not necessarily bypassing the Disable Device roll.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
My PCs will like this item. I think they will want more control over how it works. In general, if they had one these with 25 charges, they would probably rather reduce 5 locks from DC 25 to DC 20 than one lock from DC 25 to a DC 0, but I understand that PCs can't always get what they I’m okay telling them that, straight up.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
Yeah, this is cool. I like any item that changes its appearance based on the number of charges that it has left, and the concept of a master key is easy to grasp and extrapolate. Good work. You made a simple, elegant, item that doesn't require a lot of book keeping. I dig it.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
I see this as more of a utility/maneuvering item and in that regard, I think this it's solidly balanced. Your caveat that the pulled object must be "unattended" saves this item from a lot of potential abuse; good call on adding that line.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
It's definitely practical and it could be a lot of fun. A warrior could really use this to close the gap into melee range or augment a charge. My PCs would probably keep this around and use it occasionally to move things around on the battle mat or pull some crazy maneuver, like grappling across a chasm, which I sense was exactly the items’ intent.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
I don't know if I can picture a heroic paladin, gazing stoically out across a war torn battlefield... through a frog shaped helm--it's more silly than epic--but I don't think this is a big deal as it's largely a flavor thing. I can change what an item looks like with ease… shield of tentacles or something like that. Solid work. All in all, this is a really fun item.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
Doesn't seem too unbalanced but it bears mentioning that the drawbacks of the this item can be easily mitigated by a creature with fire resistance or fire immunity, which can often apply to PCs if they have the right combination of gear and equipment. I don't think this is a problem, just a consideration.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
My PCs would be delighted by this item (Goblin skull bombs! Yes!), and I think it could make for an interesting mechanic in a low-level dungeon crawl through a goblins’ lair. The fact that you are punished if you miss might be a bit much. Remember, the PCs only get one attack action per round at lower levels, and if they spend that action accidentally immolating themselves, they will feel pretty bad about it, even if it was just the result of bad dice rolls and was otherwise a good strategy. Missing on an attack roll already sucks and this item will literally burn players on top of that. I get though that goblins are all about self-destructive magic and would delight in this kind of violent and potentially deadly mischief. Still, I would also be interested in an item that uses this same concept but instead applies some kind of benefit if you miss... not enough to encourage missing, but just enough to be a consolation prize for not landing the bomb.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
I actually really like the mojo of this item. In my mind, goblins hurling cursed skulls about is what high-fantasy RPGs are all about. Great job here.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
I can't think of anything unbalancing about this item. There are some adventures, such as those set deep in the underground, where keeping track of day/night cycles becomes more of a chore than a storytelling device, and I'm worried this item would make meticulous time-tracking a necessity in those instances. Still I like the idea, although I wish it did something a bit more interesting than just grant temp hit points every day. As I've said in the feedback on a few other items as well, some mechanics add an extra layer to the bookkeeping of a play session without really following through on the payoff. I’m probably coming down on you too hard here, because this really is a cool item, but every time, the game advances to a new day, one of my PCs is going to roll and die and say, “I have X temp hit points today” and it’s a small thing but small things add up over time.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
Yeah, definitely, but something that's a daily boon, they would quickly take for granted. Instead of seeing the daily boon as a bonus, they would instead start to see the absence of a boon as a penalty on the days when they couldn't activate the item for whatever reason. This is largely an oddity of PC psychology (the absence of benefit is often perceived as a loss), but this is something the DM has to work with on a number of issues.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
You weave an interesting, yet simple, concept through this item--the renewing power of dawn—and I really enjoy that. All things considered, I like the Crystal Chalice of Dawnflower Dew and it certainly delivers on the mojo front.
Hmmm... good mojo here, but this item is really a modified ring of spell storing that specializes in conjuration magic. I'm having a hard time envisioning how a PC or NPC would really use this item in an encounter. I guess it could work as a James Bond style trap, with the PCs bound and gagged and the hourglass running out.
Actually, that might be kinda cool. I don't know though, I’m on the fence here.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Spell Component Powder
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
Hey, cool. I like that it's limited to meta magic that a player caster could normally cast. That’s key. It increases the size of a caster’s tool belt by a big margin, but doesn't really break anything by letting fifth level casters drop quickened greater dispels or anything like that.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
Yes, my PCs will enjoy this item. If anything, they might horde it and not use it for anything, thinking the ability would be good to save for later, but this is a common problem with limited use items.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
When I first read the title, I thought it was a universal spell component that could be substituted for other spell components, and that ended up being the secondary use of the item instead of the primary one, which was a bit weird. It's like calling a rifle a "bayonet hilt", when it's really a rifle. I think the primary use of the item should have dictated the title instead of the secondary use. Still, the ideas you presented here are solid and a lot of fun. Good job.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
I get the idea you're going for here, and it’s a good one, but I’m not sure the item is really needed. If a PC were the target of a charm spell, and they made a Will save, as well as a Spellcraft check to identify that they were the target of a charm spell, they could always pretend to be charmed anyway with Bluff checks. They don't need a magical item to do this. Do you get what I'm saying here? You've invented a wondrous item that already does something that the players can already do anyway through existing mechanics. Sure, a lot skills have wondrous item counterparts (i.e. Climb and slippers of spider climb) but this is going a bit far in my mind. It's a bit too niche.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
I think the value of this item is that it highlights a clever response to being the target of charm spell that PCs might not have otherwise thought of on their own. Sun Tzu (author of the Art of War) would agree that an enemy who thinks you are charmed is at a greater disadvantage than an enemy who knows the charm failed. The strategy is a great one and my PCs would definitely use it going forward, but I don't think they would go out of their way to find this item in particular.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
As above, it gets me thinking about strategy more than any specific idea or direction. Still, that's valuable. You’ve definitely found an interesting idea here.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
Seems okay on the surface. My only concern is that this item would slow down game play. At high-levels, a single character may be attacking and landing four or five hits a round, and if I, as a DM, have to answer each hit with a Will save, and then multiply by 20% damage for each successful save.... well, it's just a lot of extra bookkeeping for not a lot of payoff. Personally, I don't see anything unbalanced with making the weapon a real magical item instead of an illusionary one.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
Yes, my PCs would enjoy this item, especially during a spy mission where they can't be traipsing around armed to the teeth. As above, I think they would enjoy this more if it were it a real item instead of an illusionary one.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
Yes. As I said in my response to the Gem of Immediate Defense entry, there's something really cool about a seemingly-unarmed character suddenly having his/her gear coalesce out of nothingness. If anything, I would combine this idea into the Gem of Immediate Defense and make an item that stores all your gear, armor and weapons. This might be problematic--having a character going from his skivvies to bristling with gear in a single round--but, in general, I don't want my players worrying about minutia like when and how they put on and take off their equipment. I'd rather just assume that their gear is there and ready when they need it. Cool item. Good job.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
I don't think this item is unbalanced. Good job here.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
Definitely. I've noticed one thing that heavy armor wearers hate is being caught off guard and ambushed while they are sleeping, or in a city, or any other situation in which they are not wearing their heavy armor. From a player's perspective, it's a very uncomfortable prospect going into combat when your AC is effectively half what it normally would be. Some classes, like rogues and mages, don't have this problem, others, like paladins and warriors, do. It makes it very hard to effectively balance an "ambush" encounter. That's why I like this item; it removes a meta game balance concern and plate-wearer anxiety at the same time, all without being overly powerful. I'm not sure I like the encumbering smoke (does smoke ever really encumber?) but that's my only real gripe with the item.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
Yes, pretty good mojo. I think you could have better connected the smoke-armor-gem motif. For example, naming it the "Emberforge Gem" instead would have done the trick for me since a forge both generates smoke and is used to create armor, but this is really a minor gripe. All in all, I really like the idea behind this item. There's something cool about fighter tapping a gem on his chest and suddenly having his heavy plate armor coalesce around him out of nothingness. Good job.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
I can't think of any way this item would be problematic. It's got a lot of utility and not a lot of ambiguity or game-breaking potential. Good job here.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
Definitely. Any PC with a pet would love this item and I would be okay with them having it. In general, I think pets are too fragile and can die too easily--which is never fun for a PC--so players enjoy any mechanics that help with pet survivability.
How's the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
Yes, definitely. There are a few mojo tweaks I can suggest for this item. I would say both the pet and the master would have to swallow one each of a pair of items to activate the effect. If they both have this item inside their bodies, it conceptually enhances the symmetry of the master-pet bond. I also don't like the word "alliance" as this suggests a human-human relationship. I would rename this item the "Stone of Binding" or something similar... but these are just nitpicks. I really like this item.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
Snapleaf seems okay on this front. A quickened invis might be a bit too good for the price, but that doesn't bother me too much, prices are easy to adjust.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
This is what my PCs call an "Oh @#&!" item (explicative deleted), meaning it sits in your inventory until you're caught off guard by something (i.e. a situation in which you say "Oh @#&!"). They always appreciate these items. From my perspective as a game master, I would like to give this item to my NPCs so they can go invis without wasting an action, which can make an encounter a lot more difficult for the PCs.
How's the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
I really like the name "Snapleaf". I know your item is constructed, but it still got me thinking about fantasy flora, and how much potential for development there is here. I can imagine a snapleaf tree or a snapleaf treant. Definitely conjures some cool ideas. You score top marks here.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or over-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
I think this item is appropriately powered for its cost. It's a nice little boost for a healer without tipping the scales.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
This item both heals damage that has been done in the past and (potentially) prevents damage that will be done in the future, which makes it somewhat tricky to use because a player really wants the damage prevention at the beginning of a fight (before damage has been sustained) and the damage healing towards the end of the fight (after damage has been sustained). I understand there is a sweet spot in the middle of the fight where both aspects of this can be used, but it's going to a very narrow window of time in most fights. One of my complaints about healing in general (and this by no means the fault of your item) is that it's not very much fun. I can't for the life of me find a way to get any of my players to try a healer and I understand their reluctance: you're spending your actions to keep other players on their feet, but you're not directly contributing to the fight yourself. You're essentially the party's water boy. This item doesn't really address that core problem with healing. What I think would make this item more enticing is if you connected the two halves of what it can already do--namely if it allows you to heal one target and deal energy damage to another. Even if it's just a little bit of damage, the healer could pick off wounded targets and feel like he was contributing to the fight in a more meaningful way that just keeping everyone's hit point tanks out of the red.
Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
I'm always on the lookout for ways to make healing more dynamic and entertaining, and this item is a good meditation towards a potential solution. I probably wouldn't go out of my way to include this item in a treasure pile, but reading it does ignite other interesting ideas, and that's a very good sign.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three questions for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance or overly-complicate my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
It's definitely good, but not unbalancing, so props to you here. There are a few things that the item's description doesn't quite address, such as what happens if the flanking square is already occupied by another creature or a solid wall, but this is more my beef with the ambiguities of illusion magic in general as opposed to this item specifically. Instead of activation being a free action, I would make it a move equivalent action, but that's just because I like forcing my players to give up something to gain something else.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
The rogue would love this for obvious reasons and it could add a cool level to the strategy of the battle mat. To a large degree, the druid's pterodactyl pet in my current campaign is already used to set up flanks for the rogue (and those are flanks that can't be bypassed with a Will save), but this would be a good fallback option if the pet is pinned down or the rogue was off slinking around by himself.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
Yeah, interesting concept here and handy little item. Good job. From a flavor standpoint, I wish it did more than just distract enemies-for example, maybe it allows your shadow to flank with you or something--but it's solid for what it does. Good job.
Congrats on making it to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three question for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
Doesn't seem too overpowered... but... hmmm, I can see some meta-game situations, where my PCs are beating themselves to near-death, casting speak with dead to communicate with some long-dead NPC, and then regenerating back to health. Not game-breaking by any stretch, just a bit odd that players are incentivized to be unconscious.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
I've actually had several PCs slain by shadows in a past campaign, and I don't think it would have been much consolation for them that, even though their characters are dead, at least they won't turn into shadows. The player would just frown, shrug, and start rolling up a new character anyway. As for the speak with dead ability, I love that it does things speak with dead can't--speak with any dead, that's interesting. Still, I don't think this will come into play too often, as generally when a PC is on death's door, speaking with dead is not their top priority. At that point, they want to get back in the fight and get revenge on the thing that knocked them down in the first place. I would rather see a wondrous item that helps them do that.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
Yes, the mojo is strong with this one. You play with some pretty interesting concepts regarding the boundary between life and death and I would love to see more items from you that work with the death's door mechanic. I've never seen an item that works quite like this and I really think you're on to something here. Great work!
Congrats on making it in to RPG Superstar 2010! I asked myself the same three question for each of the top 32 items. Here are my responses to your item:
Would this wondrous item unbalance my game if my PCs were to find it and use it?
Seems good on this front. My big concern is that your use of the phrase "precision based damage" is a bit subjective. There are many ways a PC could take damage ranging from very precise (i.e. stiletto sneak attack) to very broad (AOE fireball), and everything in between, and I'm not quite sure where this item draws the line. I would suggest being a bit clearer about that. Still, I like your restrictions of not allowing players to stack gutstones and the time limit of a single gutstone’s use, so the use of this item is not necessarily a no-brainer. PCs have to think and strategize about when to eat the stone, and that I like very much.
Would my PCs be happy with this item if they were to find it during an adventure?
Sure, I guess. My PCs don't generally use sunder attacks, but this is probably just because they have not yet found a character build that really maximizes Sunder's potential.
Do I like the mojo? Does the item spark other ideas for my campaign?
Yeah, I really like the mojo of an ingested gem that sits in the PCs gut insides waiting for an attack to land to trigger a magical effect. I've run Sci-Fi games with syringes of injected nanites (microscopic robots) that do all kinds of fun mechanics, and this is a great way to adapt the idea to a fantasy setting.
Dragonrest Isle is an adventure designed for four 9th level characters. The PCs should reach 10th level by the adventure’s epic conclusion, which unfolds in the heart of a tropical volcano. The adventure can be easily adapted to fit any isolated warm-water island in the DM’s campaign world.
Adventure Summary
Fifty years ago, two great wyrm dragons—one silver and one red—clashed over the ocean in a cataclysmic battle to the death. Both were mortally wounded and died on a remote tropical island.
Though both dragons are long dead, their warring spirits linger in the Ethereal Plane.
The PCs arrive on the tropical island and learn of the continuing struggle between the ethereal spirits of the red and the silver dragon. The heroes must survive the dangers of the island long enough to discover and stop a nefarious plot of the red dragon rider, Matron Dra'naga (female, lizardfolk, red draconic sorcerer, 10th), who now leads the red dragon's brood of surviving offspring (four juvenile red dragons).
Adventure Background
Gather Information and Knowledge (History) checks reveal the following bits of information about Dragonrest Isle:
DC 10: Dragonrest Isle is an isolated tropical island in the midst of a warm sea. It is largely avoided by seafarers as the isle's surrounding waters are notoriously temperamental, often giving rise to fierce storms that appear out of nowhere in a matter of minutes.
DC 15: The few individuals who have seen Dragonrest Isle report that it is infested with dinosaurs and surrounded by treacherous reefs, thereby making it an unsuitable port. These mariners also share tales of a colossal dragon skeleton resting in the clouds above the isle's main lagoon, thus giving the island its colloquial name "Dragonrest."
DC 20: Dragonrest Isle is the former roost of the great wyrm red dragon, Azzandra. Fifty years ago, a great wyrm silver dragon, known as Illustrond, came to Dragonrest after Azzandra had killed Illustrond's mate. Azzandra and Illustrond fought to the death, each dragon inflicting mortal wounds on other during an epic battle. In the end, both dragons fell from the skies. The red dragon, Azzandra, died in the isle's volcano while the silver dragon, Illustrond, died in the clouds.
DC 25: There is something supernatural about Dragonrest Isle. On the Material Plane, the isle's surrounding waters typically appear calm and sunny. But on the Ethereal Plane, an epic storm, some fifty miles across, circles the island at all times. It is believed that this ethereal storm is what's causing the sporadic appearance of storms on the Material Plane in the waters around Dragonrest.
DC 30: The ethereal storm centers around the skeletal remains of the fallen silver dragon, Illustrond. The silver dragon's vengeful spirit still lingers in the Ethereal Plane and generates the ghostly storm around Dragonrest.
DC 35: The last brood of Azzandra—a clutch of four red dragons—still lives on Dragonrest Isle. They have survived their mother and are cared for by Matron Dra'naga, a lizardfolk sorceress who served as Azzandra’s dragon rider during the battle with Illustrond.
DC 40: Illustrond's ethereal storm manifests on the Material Plane when any of Azzandra’s red dragon offspring attempt to leave the island. The storm also blocks all forms of teleportation magic to and from Dragonrest. Through this supernatural storm, Illustrond's spirit has contained his foes on Dragonrest Isle for the last fifty years, a period of time in which the trapped red dragons have since grown from wyrmlings to juveniles. Matron Dra'naga is now very old, even by lizardfolk standards, but she is still quite formidable.
DC 45: Deep within the isle’s volcano, the spirit of the great wyrm red dragon, Azzandra, also lingers in the Ethereal Plane. The island’s volcano is calm and serene on the Material Plane, yet spews ash and fire on the Ethereal Plane.
In addition to the above story points, the PCs will also uncover details of the following evil in the course of this adventure...
The red dragon rider, Matron Dra’naga, has hatched a plot to raise Azzandra as a lich. Any living thing thrown into an accursed pool of black magma has a fragment of its soul siphoned into Azzandra's soon-to-be phylactery, an obsidian spire at the heart of Dragonrest's central volcano. Eventually Azzandra's spirit will have mustered enough strength to rise as a dragon lich. Once that happens, there will be nothing Illustrond can do to stop his enemies from leaving Dragonrest Isle and beginning a campaign of terror across the mainland.
Chapter One: Voyage to the Isle
The adventure begins when the PCs arrive on Dragonrest Isle. The reasons for this voyage are up to the DM, but some possible adventure hooks include:
• Treasure Hunt The PCs are seeking an item from the lost treasure horde of Azzandra, rumored to remain undiscovered somewhere on Dragonrest Isle. The party charters a boat and sets course to the remote island. In truth, most of Azzandra's horde was carried off by pirates long ago, but several items remain, including the one the PCs seek.
• Castaways The PCs have been lost at sea for days after their ship was sunk by pirates/kraken/leviathan etc. The party eventually washes ashore at Dragonrest with no idea of what lies in store for them.
• Illustrond Beckons The PCs are piloting their ship across open waters when a tiny sparrow alights on their gunwales. The bird—which could never have gotten this far out to sea on its own—flies back and forth across their prow, trying to get the PCs to change course and follow it to Dragonrest Isle. This sparrow is actually Illustrond’s spirit manifested (see below for details).
Chapter Two: Exploring Dragonrest
Dragonrest is an isolated volcanic island rising from warm tropical waters. The isle’s formidable volcano towers over the thick central jungles and steep seaward cliffs. The colossal remains of a skeletal silver dragon rest eerily in the clouds above the island’s main lagoon (as the bones remain suspended in air, even in death, by the silver dragon's cloudwalk ability).
Several of the isle's more dramatic features are only apparent on the Ethereal Plane. Any PC blinking or casting see invisibility or otherwise able to see into the Ethereal Plane beholds a terrible site. On the Ethereal Plane, massive storm clouds churn about the isle and stretch for miles overhead. Within this ethereal storm, windblown frost clings to the silver dragon’s remains and fist-sized hailstones pound the ocean’s surface. Similarly, on the Ethereal Plane, the isle’s volcano burns with a fiery red light and hurls ash and magma into the air. The rising ash and spinning storm clouds twist together, as though vying for control of the skies.
Perhaps the eeriest aspect of all this is that the apocalyptic scene in the Ethereal Plane unfolds in absolute silence. And, back on the Material Plane, everything appears balmy and serene once again.
Depending on what magic the PCs employ when they first approach Dragonrest, they may or may not notice this dual Ethereal/Material nature of the island. Regardless, it is assumed they explore further.
A series of game trails traverse the island's thick jungle interior. A successful DC 15 Track check reveals that the muddy trails were blazed by lizardfolk hunting parties. Points of interest that the PCs will likely discover in the course of their exploration include:
Dinosaur Lairs
The jungles of Dragonrest Isle support several species of dinosaurs: two tyrannosauruses nest in a vine-choked ravine; packs of mega raptors inhabit a bone-strewn cave behind a roaring waterfall; and herds of triceratops wander the island's western grasslands.
Illustrond's Rest
Illustrond’s skeleton lies high in the clouds above the lagoon, suspended there for all eternity by the silver dragon's cloudwalk ability. The dragon’s spirit can manifest in the Material Plane, but only as a tiny sparrow.
Shortly after the party lands on the island, this sparrow flies down to accompany the PCs on their journey. It perches on the shoulders of a chosen PC and generates an aura of good and an aura of courage (as a paladin) in a 10-foot radius. Any PC able to see into the Ethereal Plane beholds a colossal translucent silver dragon in the approximate location of where the sparrow appears on the Material Plane. This ethereal dragon cannot attack, talk or otherwise communicate with the PCs, but it stoically regards any PC that makes eye contact with it on the Ethereal Plane.
The silver dragon's spirit remains with the PCs until they either leave the island or banish the red dragon’s spirit to the afterlife (see Chapter 3).
The Lagoon
The following message—written in elven—is etched into a slab of volcanic rock overlooking the island's main lagoon.
Gannith was here for 13 days. Enemies closing in. Don't have long. Lost sword to creature in lagoon. Retrieve it and finish what I could not!
Anyone making a DC 20 Knowledge History check knows “Gannith” was Illustrond's elven dragon rider. He has not been seen on the mainland since he rode off with Illustrond to fight Azzandra. Anyone succeeding on this check by more than 5 also knows that Gannith's sword was a magical longsword named Coldfront.
The creature in the lagoon is a massive dragon turtle. Jammed into the creature's jaw, embedded in a massive lump of scar tissue, is the massive sword Coldfront. Forged by the sliver dragon Illustrond, this blade acts as a longsword of red dragon’s bane +2. While Coldfront is drawn, anyone within 10 feet of the blade takes half damage from red dragon fire.
Sunscale Village
A group of lizardfolk known as the Sunscale Tribe dwells in a seaside village near the island's main lagoon. The Sunscale lizardfolk are stolid hunters, and do not attack the PCs unless provoked. The lizardfolk begin the adventure as "unfriendly" to the PCs, but the heroes can attempt to gain the tribe’s favor with a Diplomacy check modified as follows:
+2 if the lizardfolk see the silver dragon's spirit sparrow with the PCs.
+2 for each ranger or druid in the party.
+5 if the PCs agree to retrieve the headdress of the lizardfolks’ fallen chieftain from the raptor lair.
+5 if the PCs agree to kill the mated pair of tyrannosauruses that have been preying on the lizardfolks' hunting parties.
+2 if the PCs are able to trade any triceratops eggs (which the lizardfolk hatch and train as beasts of burden).
Assuming the PCs are able to bring the Sunscale tribe to "friendly" or better, the lizardfolk can share ample information about the island. The tribe has inhabited Dragonrest for many generations and its oral tradition encompasses a somewhat mystic version of all the information from the Adventure Background that is a DC 45 or lower.
Matron Dra'naga and the juvenile red dragons have been kidnapping members of the Sunscale Tribe for years. As a result, the lizardfolk fear the dragons and refuse to go near the volcano lair for any reason. The lizardfolk claim that anyone captured by the sorceress and her dragon flight is forever corrupted by some dark ritual, though they do not know the exact nature of this change (more details in Chapter 3).
Once on good terms, the lizardfolk offer the PCs several doses of a rare jungle root that, if chewed, will allow the PC to peer into the Ethereal Plane, which the lizardfolk refer to as the “Realm of the Dead”. This root functions as a potion of see invisibility.
In addition to the information in the Adventure Background the lizardfolk can also share their limited knowledge of Matron Dra'naga and the individual red dragons (see Chapter 3 for details).
The Volcanic Rise
The cliffs leading up to the Dragonrest volcano are steep and treacherous. Charred dinosaur bones and smoldering fumaroles dot the volcano's rocky shoulders, perhaps warning the PCs that great danger lurks above.
If the PCs attempt to climb the volcano without first retrieving Coldfront from the dragon turtle, Illustrond’s spirit sparrow begins to chirp loudly and flutter behind them, trying to lead the PCs away from the dragons’ lair until they are ready to face the dangers within.
Chapter Three: The Volcano
The final chapter of this adventure unfolds in the vast cave system that extends throughout the volcano. Here, Azzandra’s four red dragon offspring toil under the strict leadership of Matron Dra’naga, and together they seek to raise Azzandra as a lich.
Hazards and villains of the volcano are as follows (text in purple indicates information the Sunscale tribe can share with the PCs before the heroes begin their assault on the lair):
Magma Pools, Geysers and Steam Vents The volcano is active and many natural features of the lair can burn or scald would-be intruders.
Azzandra's Spirit and the Obsidian Spire Azzandra’s skeleton rests near an accursed obsidian spire in a pool of black magma that churns somewhere deep in the belly of the volcano. Anyone who can see into the Ethereal Plane beholds a colossal translucent red dragon superimposed over the red dragon’s skeleton in the Material Plane. Azzandra’s spirit cannot attack, talk or otherwise communicate with those around it. It appears to be in a deep sleep.
An obsidian spire rises from the pool of black magma. Any living thing reduced to zero hit points while within the magma pool rises one day later with a newly acquired monster template called "cinderborn". This transformation siphons a fragment of the victim's soul into the obsidian spire, Azzandra’s soon-to-be phylactery. Soon, the phylactery will have gathered enough power to raise Azzandra as a lich.
Cinderborn Creatures (New Monster Template) All lizardfolk captured from the Sunscale village are irrevocably corrupted by some unspeakable ritual. The cinderborn template changes the base creature's subtype to Fire, it's alignment to chaotic evil and renders it incapable of producing offspring. It also grants blindsight 60ft and +4 Str, +4 Con, -4 Wis and -4 Cha. When a cinderborne creature dies, it explodes into a cloud of hot ash, dealing 3d6 fire damage in a ten foot radius (Reflex Save DC 10 + [base creature's hit dice] for half damage). The lingering ash cloud blocks line of sight and provides concealment as a darkness spell for the next 3 rounds.
Matron Dra’naga (lizardfolk, female, red draconic sorcerer 10th)
According to the Sunscale lizardfolk, Matron Dra'naga was "cursed" to be born with red dragon blood and, as such, she was cast out of the tribe. Only later did she become Azzandra's dragon rider and seek revenge on her former tribesman. The old lizardfolk sorceress currently leads the last brood of Azzandra and has chosen Xoriath the Eldest as her new dragon mount. Matron Dra'naga's library, which lies deep in the volcano, is filled with clay tablets that detail the creation of the obsidian phylactery, a task that Matron Dra'naga has spent most of the last fifty years undertaking.
Xoriath the Eldest (young adult dragon)
The largest and fiercest of the red dragon siblings, Xoriath ate three of his smaller siblings while still in the nest. Due to his precocious size, Xoriath has the effective statistics of a young adult red dragon, even though he is technically only old enough to be a juvenile.
Rahna the Slaver (juvenile red dragon)
Rahna is particularly malevolent, even by red dragon standards. She is in charge of keeping the dragon’s cinderborne minions in line. If Rahna is slain, the cinderborne minions are much more likely to flee during combat.
Gannith (cinderborn high elf, fighter, 10th)
The rider of the silver dragon Illustrond was taken to the volcano and held captive for many years before finally being corrupted by the red dragons. The fallen knight has chosen Skywraith the Sorcerer as his new dragon mount.
Skywraith the Sorcerer (young red dragon, undead sorcerer 7th)
Skywraith is the runt of the litter, but he makes up for his limited size with an uncanny affinity for necromantic magic. Skywraith has the effective statistics of a young red dragon, even though he is technically old enough to be a juvenile. Unlike most dragons his age, his sorcerer caster level is 7th.
Draknock the Deformed (modified juvenile red dragon)
Draknock is actually two dragon twins that fused as the result of a birth defect. The freakish two-headed dragon is shunned by the rest of his siblings. Draknock's deformity allows him an extra bite attack, but it has also left him with crippled wings. Draknock cannot fly and his twin breath weapons never fully developed (shoots two lines of fire instead of cones). The vertebrate in his necks have calcified such that he must choose separate targets for each of his twin bite or breath weapon attacks.
The Epic Finale
The final battle plays out with the PCs fighting Matron Dra’naga and her mount Xoriath next to the obsidian spire. The only way Azzandra’s spirit can be permanently banished into the afterlife is to plunge Coldfront into the obsidian phylactery. And the only way Illustrond's spirit can be permanently destroyed is to immerse the sparrow in the pool of black magma. Illustrond has risked much accompanying the PCs here, but the silver dragon feels the party is his best chance of ever defeating his rivals and he wants, more than anything, to help the heroes succeed.
Epilogue: Concluding the Adventure
As soon as the PCs have destroyed Azzandra's spirit, the volcano begins to erupt and collapse. Assuming they are able to escape the cataclysmic eruption, the PCs are rewarded with a sizable story XP award and whatever treasure they can scour from the lair.
To celebrate, the Sunscale host an epic six-day feast that culminates with the PCs' induction into the tribe. Illustrond's sparrow spirit presides over the event, chirping contentedly from a nearby tree before finally fading away at sunset of the last day, departing forever to the Outer Planar happy hunting grounds shared by all silver dragons.
I would have been toast if the round 5 submission had a deadline of a single week like the previous four rounds. I just spent most of the last few days backpacking on a trip I committed to long before this contest appeared on my radar. It was a good break though, and it got down to zero degrees Fahrenheit on one night (a temperature widely regarded as "mythological" by my Southern Californian brethren).
Anyway, I'm back at the keyboard now, watching draft 2 of my submission slowly come together.
Hope this gives you some visibility into my end of things.
Looking forward to round 5. I've been reading the "a little advice for the finalists" thread with rapt attention. No matter how this contest turns out, it's been a great experience.
Wanted to say thanks again for all the great feedback. To address a few points that came up:
Evelyn and Bateman These names were a reference to Evelyn Williams and Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. In an early draft, the golems were named Hannibal and Bateman but there was something about a female flesh golem that had stopping power (I think it’s because a female flesh golem forces players to picture the monster in their minds, whereas a male flesh golem is just a flesh golem as seen in the MM). I smiled when I found out there’s a famous anesthesiologist named Evelyn Bateman… sort of adds a whole new layer to the golem names.
Paper Street When I first started imagining Bratch’s lair, I used the Paper Street Soap Company from the movie Fight Club as a conceptual springboard. There are a few rooms--such as the flooded basement and the stacks of books in the library--that are reminiscent from the movie. "Paper Street" was originally a placeholder name until I could think of something else, but then later I learned that Paper Street is an engineering term for a street that exists on maps but hasn’t been built in reality yet. As soon as I learned that, I decided to keep the name as it added an extra layer to the creepiness of the house as a whole.
Aboleth Hiding Under 3 Feet of Water Great point. This wouldn’t work. Should have made the water deeper.
Random Mistakes There were a couple of these, mostly spelling errors. At one point I even had Bateman casting spells (instead of Bracht). Due to my work schedule, I ended up writing most of Round 4 in the early hours before dawn, which is when my editing skills tend to be at their weakest. Thanks to all who helped sift out the typos.
The Arm Great idea making the Arm of a Onishamotan more of a villain in the lair. In the first draft, the arm was the main threat in the lair, but then it was toned down in the next pass, both to conserve word count but also to make Bracht the star of his own house. That said, I really like the idea of the arm triggering the “shaken” fear effect instead of the books. If I had time for a third draft, I’d add more creepy touches like this to the arm (such as a bunch of eyes embedded in its surface that silently watch the PCs every movement!)
Spiral Staircase Skips the Group Floor True, this is kind of weird. The early version of the lair had a rubble-choked staircase to the basement via the ground floor that the players could see but couldn’t access. And the passage with the spiral staircase was originally a dumbwaiter. It was changed to its current state to save on word count (and to allow Evelyn access to the basement). I’m still not entirely sold on this direction myself, but in the end the decision was made by the deadline.
Ring of Regeneration 90K gold: Yikes! True, that’s a bit overpriced considering what it does (think how many healing potions you can buy with 90k gold), but you can’t trust all DMs running the module to instinctively know this is too much gold for a 7th level party. The Ring of Regen is something I would rework if I had another round of revisions (maybe an IV drip of healing potions… I don’t know).
Black Pudding If your players are the kind of PCs who have a good sense of when it's okay to run from an encounter, feel free to replace the Black Pudding with an Elder Black Pudding. Sheer DM delight will ensue :)
HP Lovecraft I take it as a huge compliment that is considered reminiscent of the works of the Cthulhu Mythos. There was about a year of my life where that genre was all I would read. By the way, the short story Notebook Found in a Abandoned House by Robert Bloch inspired one of my early D&D campaigns back in the day. The campaign began with the PCs finding a slightly modified version of the Notebook (I only removed references to tractors and automobiles, otherwise left the story as is). One word on what came next: aboleths!
Swarm of Organs Oh man, wish I knew about this monster when I was writing! Would have been perfect.
Anyway, thanks to all for all the great feedback. And again, special thanks to Trevor Gulliver for providing the lair's star: Bracht Darkhouse.
Christopher West! I just connected the dots on why your name sounded familiar.
Your Map of Mystery "The Cryomancer's Icicle Tower" ended up inspiring the major villains from my last campaign. The overarching storyline was that a council of Illithid hive brains--the Geomancer, Hydromancer, Pyromancer and Cryomancer--basically foresaw that they were going to be destroyed in the distant future. Rather than face extinction, they instead banished themselves to 4 tombs where they could go into stasis and escape their fate (well, technically 3 tombs since the Geo and Hydromancer went insane and fused into the "Mud Sorcerer"). Guess which lair I used for the Cryomancer's tomb?
It's funny but one little map essentially set into motion the ideas behind a four year campaign. I'm a big fan of your work!
Also, thanks for the feedback on the round 4 submissions. Much appreciated.
I hate to be the voice of negativity here, and I'd have to check my sourcebooks when I got home, but the book, Forged In Magic from Paradigm Studios for their Arcanis setting had an item with this same exact name and similar function (although different execution). I really hope this doesn't cause any problems, but I'd rather get this out now than later.
Thanks for posting this. For what it’s worth, I’ve never read (or even heard of) Forged in Magic before googling it just now.
I’ll defer to the judges for comment on this one with my assurances that this is a case of convergent evoultion in creative thinking.
Wanted to say thanks to all for the feedback and (hopefully) your votes.
Special thanks to Trevor Gulliver for providing such an awesome villain to work with! Bracht is one seriously twisted dude and I loved him from first read.
Yikes. Anyone stealing cars from a church parking lot is a villain worthy of round 3. My heart goes out to you, Steven.
Eric, I dig the lair too by the way. You have a ton of creepy touches in here. Might I suggest adding a swarm of leeches to the bathtub? This would riff off a memorable scene from Slither, a highly-underrated (in my opinion) horror movie from a few years back.
The PCs have been on the run from the city guards ever since Bracht the Flesh Peddler managed to capture and “replace” the local magistrate with a planted spy (Vissivio, male, doggleganger, rogue 5th). After rigorous detective work, the PCs have tracked the kidnapped magistrate to 26 Paper Street, a condemned house serving as the Flesh Peddler’s current base of operations.
To stop the Flesh Peddler, the PCs must venture into 26 Paper Street and rescue the magistrate, who is the only individual that can clear the false accusations levied against them.
This module is designed for four 7th-level characters.
Dungeon Features: Rising through the Flesh Peddler’s lair is a colossal aberrant growth known as the Arm of Ohnishamotan. This giant tentacle-like tumor originates from somewhere deep in the sewers of Katapesh and has since punctured the basement of 26 Paper Street and grown upwards through several levels of the house. The Arm of Ohnishamotan has the following characteristics:
• Its surface is a twisted mass of unrecognizable flesh that radiates evil and alteration magic.
• If damaged, it rapidly regenerates. It cannot move (save for the situation described below) and it is essentially a solid wall of flesh.
• If Bracht is killed, the Arm of Ohnishamotan emits a rumbling wail and slowly falls into the sewers of Katapesh over the course of the next 12 rounds. During this time, the house shakes violently and anyone inside not flying or levitating must make a DC 15 Balance check each round to avoid being knocked prone by the vibrations. At the end of the 12 rounds, the house utterly collapses, triggering the effects of an earthquake spell throughout the entire structure. From the wreckage, the blood of Ohnishamotan bubbles and roils, pooling into a black pudding that begins to terrorize the neighborhood.
Black Pudding CR 7
115 hp (MM 201)
Unless otherwise stated, assume the rooms of 26 Paper Street are 15-feet tall and are dimly lit. Also, assume all doors are strong wooden doors (Hardness 5, 20hp, Break DC 23) and are locked with average locks (Open Locks DC 25). All windows have been boarded up with enough wood to give them the statistics of a strong wooden door.
1. Exterior A crude sign reads “CONDEMED: DO NOT ENTER” and hangs over the door of this dilapidated three-story building. The windows are boarded up and deep weeds have overtaken the small garden out front.
Any PC listening at the door hears the sporadic creaking of floorboards within (as the ramshackle house settles around the intruding bulk of the Arm of Ohnishamotan).
2. Ground Floor A foul stench permeates the building and the gloom clinging to these rooms seems to swirl about as if alive. There is definitely something wrong here.
Assuming the PCs enter via the front door, they cannot initially see the Arm of Ohnishamotan as their line of sight is blocked by the staircase. Instead, they can make out a few flickering candles in the library (area 2A).
2A. Library Haphazard piles of books totter throughout this damp room which is strewn with many heavily-annotated parchments and diagrams. A few ghostly candles flicker in the gloom.
Anyone who spends more than a minute reviewing the notes or texts learns that the pillar of flesh running through this house is in fact the Arm of Ohnishamotan, a cancerous growth from another plane of existence. The reader must then make a DC 15 Will save or become shaken for the next hour.
The candles are minor versions of everburning torches.
2B. Arm A horrific pillar of twisted flesh rises from a jagged hole in the floorboards and extends upwards past the staircase and through a similar hole in the ceiling.
This is the Arm of Ohnishamotan where it protrudes from the basement below.
2C. Laboratory A partially-dissected ogre lies in a fleshy heap across a large table. The shelves lining the surrounding walls are cluttered with jars of pickled eyeballs, preserved animals and strange bits of organic matter.
The ogre is long dead. If anyone investigates the jars on the shelves, a live lamprey specimen suddenly lashes out, causing its jar to fall and shatter across the floor. The lamprey dies on impact, but the DM should have the PCs roll for initiative anyway (to potentially trick them into wasting precious spells and abilities).
2D. Pantry (CR 5) The shelves of this pantry have been stocked with organs, bones and cured skins. A large metal icebox rests against the northern wall.
Several of the organs have gentle repose cast upon them and therefore radiate magic. The icebox is latched shut with an iron bolt and anyone approaching it hears muffled voices from within.
Creatures: The icebox contains a captured Gibbering Mouther.
Gibbering Mouther CR 5
hp 42 (MM 126)
3. Landing (CR 8) Streaks of blood are smeared across the walls of this rubble-strewn area. It appears that a room once existed above, but the upper stairway and adjoining landing have since caved in. Now, only a massive pillar of flesh stretches upward into the high rafters.
This is where Bracht disposes of “inferior” graft donors. Anyone studying the blood streaks notices that they converge towards the rafters in the tower 30 feet above.
Creatures: Up in the rafters, Bracht has grafted several tentacles and the maw of a juvenile brass dragon onto the Arm of Ohnishamotan.
Grafted Tentacles (4) CR 7
30 hp each (MM 20) Each of these tentacles have the attributes of an assassin vine except with Type aberration, Reach 60 feet, and they lack the entangle supernatural ability.
Tactics: The tentacles lie curled in the rafters and can only be spotted from below with a DC 20 Perception check. Once the PCs venture onto the landing, the tentacles drop downward and attempt to initiate surprise grapple attacks. Each tentacle may lift a successfully-grappled opponent upwards at a speed of 15 feet per round.
Traps: The tentacles hoist grappled victims into a dragon maw trap which is grafted onto the Arm of Ohnishamotan amidst the rafters 30 feet above the floor. Anyone who realizes they are about to be dragged into a gaping maw receives a one-time free attempt to break a grapple (+4 bonus).
Dragon Maw Trap CR 4 Type mechanical; Search DC 20; Disable Device NA
===== Effects ===== Trigger proximity; Reset automatic;
Effects bite; single target; Atk +16 melee; 2d6+4
4. Bedroom (CR 7) Unlike the rest of this dilapidated building, this room is well-kept. Pressed suits and clean robes hang on hooks next to a squarely-made bed. A comb, a nail file and a small pair of scissors rest atop a polished dresser.
Something about the Flesh Peddler’s unique brand of madness compels him to meticulously maintain his personal space, even while everything else around him is in chaos.
Creatures: Bracht’s flesh golem valet stands at attention along the southern wall. The Flesh Peddler feels a strong personal connection with his creation which he has named “Evelyn.” Evelyn stands guard next to a secret panel (Perception check DC 15 to locate) beyond which can be found a spiral staircase leading down to the basement (area 6). Evelyn has been instructed to attack any intruders entering the room.
Evelyn (Flesh Golem) CR 7
hp 79 (MM 135)
Supernatural Ability: Evelyn has a breath weapon gland of brass dragon grafted to her shoulder, allowing her to cast a 30-foot cone of sleep once per day (DC 18 Will save or sleep for 1d6+5 rounds)
Tactics: Evelyn begins combat with a blast from her cone of sleep and then closes in to clobber anyone still standing.
5. Flooded Basement (CR 7) Rancid water floods this dark basement and small bits of debris slosh around in the black pond. A pillar of flesh extends upward out of the muck in the northeast corner, pushing up through a ragged hole in the ceiling to the ground floor above.
The basement of 26 Paper Street is flooded with fetid water to a depth of 3 feet.
Creatures: Below the waterline, a mostly-intact aboleth has been grafted onto the Arm of Ohnishamotan. Even after the graft was complete, Bracht had a difficult time controlling the rebellious aboleth, so he eventually gave the monster a partial lobotomy (hence its reduced intelligence).
Grafted Aboleth (CR 7)
hp 76 (MM 8 except with Speed 0 and Int 3)
Tactics: The aboleth hides under the murky waters, which effectively renders it invisible until it attacks. It attempts to surprise any PCs that wander into its 15-foot reach (marked on the map) and it initiates combat by making a full attack with its tentacles. Next, it dominates the strongest-looking PC to use as a bodyguard.
The aboleth maintains an illusionary wall that hides the entrance to the workshop (area 6). If the grafted aboleth is destroyed, the illusion is dispelled. If Bracht overhears combat in this room, he begins preparing for battle (see below).
6. Underground Workshop (CR 11) The shelves of this dark room are filled with all manner of embalming fluids, bandages, stitches, scissors and knives. An operating table stands to the north beneath a low-hanging chandelier of flickering candles. Lying on the table is a black-haired man with a full beard. His ribcage is split open and the skin of his chest is pinned back with knitting needles, revealing his insides to the cold dungeon air.
The victim on the table is the kidnapped magistrate the PCs seek. He is a blue-eyed sorcerer and therefore very valuable to Bracht’s “work.” Despite his appearance, the magistrate still lives, but he is heavily sedated and kept alive only by a ring of regeneration that Bracht has slipped onto the magistrate’s left hand. Through this setup, the Flesh Peddler has secured a continuously-regenerating supply of heart tissue. Anyone examining the magistrate notices that his heart still beats.
Since capturing the magistrate, Bracht has spent much of his time here, forgoing food and sleep to continue work on his opus, a maze of heart tissue that he believes will eventually be able to animate the Arm of Ohnishamotan.
Creatures: Unless the PCs have somehow lured Bracht away from his workshop, he can be found here, working with the help of his flesh golem assistant, a brute the Flesh Peddler has named “Bateman.”
Bracht the Flesh Peddler CR 9
hp 63
Bateman (Flesh Golem) CR 7
hp 79 (MM 135)
Supernatural Ability: Bateman has a breath weapon gland of brass dragon grafted to his shoulder, allowing him to cast a 60-foot line of fire once per day. Anyone in this line takes 4d6 fire damage (DC 18 Reflex save for half)
===== Tactics =====
Before Combat: If Bracht overhears the PCs fighting the aboleth in area 5, he commands Bateman to block the entrance to this room and then casts stoneskin on himself. If there is time, Bracht opens a secret compartment within his operating table and quaffs a potion of shield, and a potion of protection form good contained within. Finally Bateman casts message to command Evelyn to come to his aid from the bedroom. Assuming she has not been destroyed, she arrives three rounds later.
During Combat: During combat, Bratch tells Bateman to attack any PC spellcasters while Bratch himself attempts to neutralize strong warriors from a distance with deep sleep, summon monster IV and black tentacles.
Morale: If the battle is going badly for Bracht, he attempts to cast gaseous form and seep through the ceiling to retreat to an abandon alley behind 26 Paper Street.
If Bracht is killed before he can escape, the Arm of Ohnishamotan begins to fall into the sewer (as described in Dungeon Features above) bringing the house down around it. Long after the dust has settled, the shrieking wails of the Arm of Ohnishamotan reverberate below the streets of Katapesh as the colossal aberration retreats deeper and deeper into the sewer system.
Wanted to say thanks to all who helped get Malgana into the next round!
I'm a bit bummed I wont get to reveal her lair, but there was another villain that got me super stoked during round 3. I remember reading the entry and thinking, "You know, I would LOVE to design a lair for this guy/girl/thing*!" so maybe it's all for the best.
(*being vague here as I don't want to give away the villain in question).
As for the feedback in this round, a few great points came up that I'd like to address:
Witch vs. Lich - I agree, "witch" is better. I only changed the name to call out the "lich" aspect so that people could get a quick impression of how the concept evolved just by reading the title off the round 3 main page. This was largely an evil ploy to get you to click on Malgana's entry, as I didn't want anyone skipping over her just because of her round 2 performance.
That said, I do think calling her a "witch" in game works much better, mostly because it's closer to her core concept. Lich is just her mechanic, but the "idea" of Malgana is pure "witch" (This is a BIG hint if any of my fellow contestants want to take a stab at her lair). Also, I think PCs will, in general, be much more afraid of a "witch" since there is no stat block they can look up in the MM as there would be for a "lich". Clever PCs will eventually realize that Malgana is using the mechanics of a lich, but by then they will have already faced her a time or two without this knowledge.
Random Rules Oversights - There were a couple of these (inconstant wisdom add, charisma add to hit points, 5th level spell count). My fault for doing much of Malgana's bookkeeping between the hours of midnight and 4am. One thing I've learned in the course of my writing career is that the key to survival lies in forming as many symbiotic relationships with as many gifted editors as possible. So thanks everyone for your help here.
Does a Disembodied Head Have a Gender? - Yeah, I have no idea.
The Iron Will Feat- The last campaign I ran had a very cunning PC arcane trickster and an equally cunning PC psionic/mage. Since then, I automatically give all my villains Iron Will; it's like a reflex or something. In retrospect, Spell Penetration or another Spell Focus (Enchantment) would have been better choices.
Those were the big ones. May have more to add later, but I have to run for now.
Malgana the Twistwood Lich
female, goblin lich, infernal sorceress 11th
Description:
Little is known of Malgana’s true origins, but according to goblin legend she made a deal with an infernal entity in exchange for 444 years of existence as a lich.
After ruling the goblin tribes of the Twistwood Forest for many decades, Malgana was finally betrayed and "executed" by her own kind. Yet even after her treacherous kin removed her head and cut out her organs (spine, liver, heart and tongue), she continues to live on in an undying (albeit speechless) mockery of life.
Presently, Malgana is a severed goblin head hidden within a tangle of black hair. Her mouth is sewn shut and stuffed with oak leaves, but her black eyes dart about, studying her surroundings with an eerie intelligence. She is currently hunting for her lost body parts in the hopes of overcoming her condition… for each of her missing organs holds a fragment of her former power as a lich.
Motivations/Goals:
Malgana is merciless, evil and entirely malevolent, yet her charisma often enables her to relate to others just enough to manipulate them into doing her bidding. She delights in tempting her victims to make promises and deals that they later come to regret—a trait that echoes her (rumored) infernal origins.
First and foremost, Malgana seeks to regain her former lich powers. To accomplish this, she must first retrieve her missing organs (see Malgana’s Phylactery for details).
Once her body and powers are restored, Malgana hopes to reassert her dominion over the local goblin tribes and begin a war to enslave the nearby human settlements that have brazenly sent logging expeditions into the Twistwood Forest in the perceived "absence" of the Twistwood Lich.
Schemes/Plots/Adventure Hooks:
There are several ways to introduce Malaga as a recurring villain, depending on the style of your particular campaign:
- The PCs are exploring a goblin barrow when they accidentally free Malgana’s head from a sealed sepulcher. Even if they destroy her, they only manage to return her head to her phylactery, and they are now responsible for unleashing the Twistwood Lich upon the world.
- The PCs hear from a local dryad that the Twistwood Lich has resurfaced and is trying to rebuild herself with the help of her newest henchman, Daegan the Bonechewer (male, troll, barbarian 5th). The adventure evolves into a race where the PCs must find and destroy Malgana’s phylactery before Daegan and Malgana can recover her organs.
- Or, if the DM is up for an extreme role-playing challenge, the PCs learn that they must infiltrate a dungeon that Malgana formerly inhabited. She agrees to help the PCs, but only if they first promise to take her head with them and help recover one of her missing organs (which, ostensibly, is hidden in the dungeon the PCs are infiltrating). To make this plot hook work, Malgana must have information that is absolutely vital to the PCs’ mission.
===== Tactics ===== Before Combat Until she gets her body back, Malgana prefers to be carried around and dangled by her hair from the off-hand of her strongest available henchman. While being carried, she cannot make melee attacks and she shares a square with the creature carrying her. Before combat, Malgana casts silent stilled protection from good and silent stilled shield on herself (if there is time). If Malgana is by herself (i.e. if she’s not being carried), she first casts silent stilled fly and then her other defensive spells before entering combat.
During Combat Until she recovers her tongue and spine, Malgana must use her Silent Spell and Still Spell metamagic feats to cast any spell from her sorcerer spell list, a factor which greatly reduces the extent of her available spells. That said, Malgana typically leads off a fight by using her hellfire supernatural ability. Next she casts silent stilled deep slumber and silent stilled suggestion to neutralize any enemies uninjured by the flames. From there, she plays the battle round by round, blasting away weakened individuals with her evocation spells and saving her enchantment spells for unscathed opponents.
Morale Malgana only flees if she perceives retreat to be a wise tactical choice. She has no fear of death and is not opposed to the idea of suicide missions as long her phylactery still stands. If captured, she deliberately tries to get herself killed so she can return to her phylactery.
Base Statistics Without silent stilled protection from good and silent stilled shield, Malgana’s stats are as follows:
AC 19[+2 Dex, +5 lich natural armor bonus, +2 Size], touch 14 [+2 Dex, +2 Size] flat-footed 17 [+5 lich natural armor bonus, +2 Size] ;
Fort 3 [+3 sorceress], Ref 5 [+2 sorceress, +2 Dex], Will 11 [ +7 sorceress, +2 Int, +2 Iron Will]
===== Statistics ===== Str 10, Dex 14, Con --, Int 14 [+2 lich], Wis 11 [+2 lich], Cha 19 [+2 lich, +3 sorceress] Base Atk +5; CMB -3 [+5 infernal sorceress, -8 Size] Feats Craft Wondrous Item, Eschew Materials, Improve Initiative, Iron Will, Silent Spell, Spell Focus (Enchantment), Still Spell;
Skills Bluff +16 [6 ranks, +3 sorceress class skill, +4 Cha, +3 circlet of persuasion], Craft +9 [4 ranks, +3 sorceress class skill, +2 Int] , Diplomacy +15 [5 ranks, +3 sorceress class skill, +4 Cha, +3 circlet of persuasion], Intimidate +15 [5 ranks, +3 sorceress class skill, +4 Cha, +3 circlet of persuasion], Knowledge (arcana) +7 [2 ranks, +3 sorceress class skill, +2 Int], Knowledge (local) +11 [6 ranks, +3 sorceress class skill, +2 Int], Fly +11 [6 ranks, +3 sorceress class skill, +2 Dex], Perception +10 [+8 racial lich bonus, +2 Wis], Spellcraft +15 [10 ranks, +3 sorceress class skill, +2 Int], Sense Motive +10 [+8 racial lich bonus, +2 Wis], Stealth +18 [+8 racial lich bonus, +2 Dex, +8 Size] Languages Common, Giant, Goblin, Infernal
Gearcirclet of persuasion, 7 ornate facial piercings (200 gp each)
SQ darkvision 60 ft., undead traits, resist fire 10
===== Special Abilities ===== Corrupting Touch (Su): Causes a creature touched to become shaken for 5 rounds. The target also suffers a -2 penalty on saves versus spells of the enchantment school.
Hellfire (Su): 1/day: Calls down a 10ft-radius pillar of fire that deals 11d6 damage. Those caught in the blast receive a Reflex save (DC 15 [10 + 5.5 sorcerer level] ) for half damage. Good creatures that fail their saves are shaken for 11 rounds.
Malgana’s Phylactery
AC 15, 80 hp, hardness 10
Malgana’s phylactery is the Black Oak, a hideous tree that stores her life essence.
If Malgana’s head or any of her prime organs are destroyed, they re-grow from the acorns of the Black Oak within 1d10 days. Beyond that, it is otherwise up to Malgana to put herself back together. The only way to permanently destroy Malgana is to find and fell the Black Oak where it is hidden, deep in a dangerous and unhallowed ravine.
If Malgana recovers any of her organs, her stat block and challenge rating are modified as follows:
Head: Malgana’s head is essentially her stat block as detailed above. Without a body and tongue, she must use Silent Spell and Still Spell to cast spells. (+0 CR)
Spine: If Malgana’s spine is reinserted into her stumped neck, she slowly regenerates a decrepit-looking body after resting for one entire day. This increases her size to Small, her Speed to 30, and she no longer requires Still Spell to cast spells (+1 CR).
Tongue: If Malgana’s tongue is reinserted into her mouth, she regains her speech and no longer requires Silent Spell to cast spells. (+1 CR)
Liver: Malgana must have a body to reinsert her liver, but if she does so, her maximum hp increases to 75 and she regains all the extraordinary abilities of a lich (+4 turn resistance and immunity to cold and electricity). Once she has her liver back, her body no longer appears frail and decrepit. (+1 CR)
Heart: Malgana must have a body to reinsert her heart, but if she does so, she regains the supernatural abilities of a lich (fear aura, paralyzing touch and DR 15/bludgeoning and magic). Once she has her heart back, her eyes glow like embers. (+1 CR)
Thanks roguerogue, and really appreciate all the campaigning you did on Malgana's behalf. You too, Zombieneighors. You both have a spot at my gaming table should you ever find yourself in Southern California.
