Jyg'g Mikrotherion's page

{stomach growls} {grinding teeth}

*snickt* *snickt*

Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 4 = 7

Stealth: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (5) + 13 = 18

Jyg'g attempts to make out where the sound came from and sees if he can sneak up to it to observe what had happened.

The orcling swings madly at the pig carcass hanging over Hieron's shoulders, but like the sky, it remains way out of his reach.

Bacon! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACON! Jyg'g HUNGRAY!

*snickt* *snickt*

Jyg'g gotz a bag o holden for piggie. In mah belly!

*snickt* *snickt*

Jyg'g sez too much talkin' an not enuff bacon in belly! GRRROOWWLL

*snickt* *snickt*

Piggiez? PIGGIEZ? Where dey be aucht? Jyg'g getz whet tougher an tough!

*snickt* *snickt*

iza stabbin ur backz! and takin ur l00tz!

*snickt* *snickt*

Are youse lookin' at meh? I haz silence an greatz invishibully. *snikt*

JYG'Gs AH *&^$&$&^^$$^&^$ &%$&$$ &*$&^$&%$ING ORCLING YA *&%*&$*& &*%&%% $&%&DOOSH%%%% &*&&^(*^(*^HOLE!

As he calms down...

But tah anshur yer awfer? Coitainly!

The orcling scratches his head in puzzlement.

Youse wahnts meh tah break open doorah wit dah jugg? Cans we mak its ah flamey jugg? Palueeeeeze?

He flutters what three wisps of eyelashes he has remaining. He trundles off to collect the broken earthware and returns to Baz's side with it in hand.

Pipp wrote:

"Righty ho. Do we knock on the door?"

Let's not be too hasty. I'd like to find out what they are trying to "cultivate" in their garden. Oh and Jyg'g -- could you please fetch that jug over by that tree please?

** spoiler omitted **

Loudest laugh I had all week. You, sir, win the Internet.

Hieron Dreimalgroßen wrote:

Sorry to be dumb, but how many of us are there here? We have six PBR restoratives, we can either split between 6 people or one person can carry them all as needed. Maybe it's better tactics to split them up?

7 if Flash is still with us, 6 otherwise.

What do you guys want to do at this point?

Just railroad us gently into the next segue and we'll play in the sandbox accordingly so we can organize ourselves. I won't complain if there's a random dingo encounter along the way. :p

Jyg'g thursty. Can Jyg'g drank one ah does?

*someone swings at the orcling to slap his hand away. he never saw whom.*

Blergh! Jyg'g goes ah'stniffn the trail. If dere anyee bread crumms, dey're Jyg'gs!

The orcling blissfully leads the way...

The orcling contemplates setting up a wave of mass arson across the kingdom out of sheer boredom. In the meantime, he continues to wiggle his little grubby hands through the aloof bard's pocketsssss....

Ha! So wrong, yet so right for this PbP.

HAY WASSIT PIPPEE? inquired the inquisitive orcling as he shoved his hand into the bard's pocket.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAZZZSSSHHH! BURNINATIN' DA COUNTRAYSIDE BEGINZ NOW! Now if youse cuse Jyg'g...

*thwack* *thwack* ...

goes hump dose hillz now. Hoo-Rah, biatch!

*thwack* *thwack* ...

he hates webtrolls. blame him?

Jyg'g calz diss burmmelling! Pummel and burrrrrnnnn! Moar fun dat way! MUAHAHAHAHA! Now youse playz some burmmelling musik, Pippee!

*thwack* *thwack* ...

The orcling's eyes grew to the size of goose-eggs.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAHHAHAHA!

Without hesitation, he clutches the makeshift torch out of the cleric's hand and proceeds back to face the webtroll.

Diss woont hert one bit. Okay, Jyg'g lie! BURN YOUSE LIKE AFFLICTSHON!

He tugs the carcass to a depression on the floor, slightly unhinges the jaw and rests the top portion onto some stones that suddenly came from nowhere to make themselves convenient. Lurching back, he lift his tiny leg up into the air ... and proceeded to bring his foot down hard onto the webtroll's skull. Keeping it in place, he proceeds to bash in its head with the flaming makeshift torch. Again, and again, and again...

Youse like that huh? Who's screamin' now, beeaaactch? NOT YOUSE! HAHAHAHAH!

dramatic? yes? no?

Can Jyg'g haz burning now? Jyg'g no askey one moore time

*gouges some more*

The orcling picks a stick up from the ground and proceeds to poke the corpse of the webtroll in the eye.

Now dats ah sight fer sore eyees! BAH HAH!

Whassit?

The orcling pulls a bottle out of his backpack and attempts to read the label.

Al ... alkhamyst ... alkaymick ...

*scratches his head in puzzlement, then his eyes open wide like saucers when an idea hits him*

I GOTZ BOOM JOOS! HAHAHAHAHA! WEBTROOL GO BOOM!

Did Woody drop out? I thought he was the resident firestarter?

BAH! Fraschkin' trool! Tuhwats onlee ah fleisch woond! Jyg'g cahn shakes it auf!

The orcling looks down upon the slain webtroll ... and begun to realize that since it is a troll variant...

Jyg'g needz fiah! FIIIIIIIAH! BURRRNNN DA WEEBTROOL!

awh hells no! someone's going to get raging up in here with those schitty hits & misses

AWWWWWGGH FIDSKCHBOUTBHTTOGHTHTTH!!!!!

As Baz distracts the webtroll with his hammer, Jyg'g continues to do the ole one-two with his ax.

Primary Axe 1: 1d20 + 4 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 4 + 1 = 10 If successful: 1d4 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

Off-Hand Axe 2: 1d20 + 4 + 1 ⇒ (9) + 4 + 1 = 14 If successful: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

doncha be frooshkin' wit mah or else iah gonna frack youse up likesah iah did to youse awhn dah last schwoop!

*snikt* *snikt*

*tugs on Baz's tunic*

*still hissing with spittle hanging from his blood bitten lip after chewing up all the dots*

*hisses with spittle hanging from his blood bitten lip*

meh. that second one looks like a miss.

GEEET HIM YA SINGAH SONGAH GUY!

Hissing and snarling like a pair of tomcats in a mexican standoff, Jyg'g attempts to go for the jugular.

Primary Axe 1: 1d20 + 4 + 1 ⇒ (16) + 4 + 1 = 21 If successful: 1d4 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

Off-Hand Axe 2: 1d20 + 4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 4 + 1 = 6 If successful: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND CRAWL BACK UNDAH THE BRIDGE AND SWIM IN DAH SHAT FROM WHICH YA FEESSTEERR! HIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE-YAH! AH CHOPPAY SOOOEEEEY!

Fortitude Save: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (14) + 8 = 22

*burp*

{digs in his heels and braces to see what the webtroll does next}

Comma get sum, ya snaggletooth biatch!

*snickt* *snickt*

*twitches*

die... Die... DIE!!!!

Dumbfounded by the lack of reaction from the rest of the party and not carrying an ounce of common sense, he rushes in to draw first blood.

Ded Meat!

*snikt* *snikt*

Primary Axe 1: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 = 22 If successful: 1d4 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4

Off-Hand Axe 2: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15 If successful: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

if you're an orcling with an intelligence of seven, what would you be doing?

Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23

Jyg'g Mikrotherion wrote:

Hieron Dreimalgroßen wrote:

My metagame knowledge says this troll is for KILLIN'!

Jyg'g 'likes' this comment

And that's fine. But we don't have to go into every situation with guns blazing...

True, but with McLovin the WebTroll? Exceptions ... and lots of burnination that would make Trogdor go 'WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!?'

My metagame knowledge says this troll is for KILLIN'!

Jyg'g 'likes' this comment

Uh...rolling for initiative so I can get up in his business!

Initiative: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12

Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15

Stealth: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (10) + 13 = 23

{makes a gutteral feral noise similar to tomcats sparring over the feline in heat as the prize}

{continues to sharpen his daggers}

*snickt* *snickt*

{continues to sniff down the trail, albeit repugnantly}

Survival check:1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 18

c'mere trollopy trollopy trollop. Jyg'gsie gots a pwesant fer yah...

*snickt* *snickt*

Aevelyn glares at him, "And what other experience do you have with the wilderness?"

Jyg'g puts teh wilde in wilderness n youse put the troll in trollop! Heh-heh.

"Disolving". I'll see if we can afford to get some "exploding" kind after this adventure.

Jyg'g -- find us a troll...

*sniffs around* *points at Aevelyn*

Trollop! That wuz eazy. Har-har!

*feels the stern gaze of Baz penetrating through his dense skull*

Okkkaaaaay. Jyg'g goes creepin'. Jyg'g will find da troll...

Pointing at Aevelyn.

theres nuthin appropreeate abut her bush! Heh-heh.

*snickt* *snickt*

Let's not be stabbing the nice pretty dryads please. We're going, we're going...

I've got some acid that should help...

exsploshin' or disholvin' acid? Jyg'g wants! KA-BOOMB! HAHAHA!

*snickt* *snickt*

Blah blah blah! Youse talken a'too much for Jyg'g. Youse keep blahbin' an Jyg'g starts a'stahbin'!

*snickt* *snickt*

<practices swinging his daggers in preparation for the next kill. No discrimination: all bipeds are worthy opponents>

*snickt* *snickt*

"Juzt joo wait! I'llz finda somthin' susspiceous! Oone persen lookah meh funnay and..." he makes a guttural slicing noise as he crisscrosses both of his daggers across his neck in the air.

"Juzt poynt da way, Baz!"

*snikt*

"Uhhhh....I'ah found ah rewd peeter. Can I-ah choke 'm? Then stab 'em?"