Gourd Leshy

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92 posts (158 including aliases). No reviews. No lists. No wishlists. 3 aliases.



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Neidr Nine: A swampy blue pearl on the outskirts of the Lesser Belkzen imperial alliance. A star system colonized by Orcs, they have established a brutal hold on the entire system... Save for one certain planet.

7th planet orbiting the sun, Neidr Nine has been judged to be completely worthless for subjugation- Naturally due to the lack of easily harvest-able resources: To imply the War-like Orcs are simply incapable of establishing dominance is mere hearsay, and a legally admissible expression of low treason.

The Primary problem Orcs face is the overwhelming abundance of Proteans ... Proteans that guns can't handle. Addressed by researches as "Pelagastr's", tales are told of the first orcs who sailed down to the surface: Brave explorers who met a watery grave when the very seaweed itself rose beyond the waves- Possessed by Pelagastrs as temporary hosts until new bodies could be found. All the Orcs on that expedition soon became possessed, and consequently drowned. Or electrocuted. Or accidentally shot as their Pelagastr hosts remembered the joy of possessing bodies of their own- Albeit for a short time.

Consequently, military ventures to establish a stronghold always end the same way: Pelegastr Proteans rise en-mass to slip through the ships hull and possess the soldiers. Or Proteans get into the wiring and short-circuit key components. Or Proteans warp the very material of the ship into something less aerodynamic- Such as Basalt or Cotton candy. The military annals of the Lesser Belkzen Imperial alliance mark countless failures until the reigning Orcs simply decided "It's conquered!" and "Let's move on to the next planet!"

Unbeknownst to the reigning government of the galaxy... Material life has, somehow, managed to find root on a planet dictated by the tides in both the material sense, and the spiritual sense:

Miniscule Astrozans the size of a pebble work diligently on the Northern pole. Their capitol- Reefworks- Is nothing more than a bottle adrift in the seas. A bottle that happens to be warded against immaterial possession, and completely self sustained. They hold knowledge on how to craft "Ghost-proof materials" of all sorts, and may be willing to share their secrets should an adventurer discover the lone bottle: The hardest needle in a haystack the galaxy has to offer.

The Equator also bears the fruit of civilization: A network of tradeships, all run by Skittermanders. This community- charmingly named "Floatsbarely", lives and dies on the seas... Untouched by the countless Protean horde living beneath the waves. Certain research institutes keep this civilization a top-level secret as a case study on Pelagastr Possession... Or rather, the lack of it among Skittermanders. Curious scholars and scientists have a number of theories on this seeming immunity: Some say that Skittermanders are inherently Chaotic enough to avoid the Protean's attention. Others claim the reason must be divine- Perhaps these Sea-faring Skittermanders offer sacrifice or tribute for Protection. The most outlandish theory claims that Skittermanders where born as mortal heralds and children of the illusive Speakers of the Depths- Of course, this is a laughable claim made by a single brilliant, if slightly off-kilter scientist and linguist.

Regardless, there is only so much these researchers can learn from safe orbit, and they would be delighted to pay a group of adventurers handsomely to make the trip down to "Floatsbarely" and gather some scientific data and samples. The only challenge is to make it out alive, when the very sea churns with the mysteries of the deep.


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Stupid Hurricanes: Not only do they cause widespread flooding and wind damage, they also pirate virus riden programs onto the office computers! Will their debauchery never stop?


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Init +6 | hp 93/93 | AC 26, Touch 12, FF 22 | Fort+12 Ref+8 Will+11 | CMD 18 (30 vs Trip) | Perception+19: Darkvision 60 ft Smokevision | Constant: Endure Elements

So it look like we got our teams ready!

We have a Scooby Doo chase scene featuring our local gunslinging Blackpowder adepts.

And a bid for extra manpower bringing in a sneaky psuedodragon and a talkative crab.

"Are you... the familiars of the Riftwardens I summoned?"

"No, we are the RiftWardens you summoned."


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I have no clue why anybody would pick unseen servant... When you could pick unseen crew!

I mean, think about it: You could have 1 invisible force do your chores, but it has to stay within 75 feet, can only preform 1 task at a time, and it only has 2 str...

OR you could have 10 invisible pirates doing your chores! They have a str of 10, and can wander 1,200 feet away- That should cover most residencies. You can lounge wherever you like in your house, and your invisible pirate butlers will clean your house, without you having to be within 75 feet.

Also, they can't fight... But they could most certainly help team lift a fallen tree out of the way, help out in a car crash, speed up grocery shopping exponentially... ext. ext.


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I played a Sylph Pack Mule for awhile in Emerald Spire, it was pretty fun and surprisingly useful. Took Cut your Losses to help with looting, Took Nameless One for flavor, and the classic sylph feats to fly.

Said Sylph was a nameless merchant, looking for rare wares to ship back to his parent company. Eventually when I got my Fly speed, the party nicknamed him the "SkyBoat", on account of him ferrying the party around with his absurd carrying capacity.

(As an aside, Cut your Losses is such an under rated feat. It's great when the battle takes an unexpected turn- Like, say, when your Paladin somehow failed his will save, and starts attacking the party just as you defeat the boss. I'll always be greatful I remembered to check the unconscious bosses' vitals before going through the magical healing spring.)


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After taking over the newspaper office, perhaps waiting for the Catfolk Parents becomes boring, and the office supplies have inspired them to take up journalism.

Goblins usually loathe reading, believing that printed words steal imagined words right out of your head. Seeing as the Goblins occupying the office have clearly overcome this aversion, perhaps they want to improve their literary skills, in order to lord over their "lesser bretheren" who still believe writing is taboo.

I would write up a Goblin Rogue 5, and/or a Goblin Investigator 5. Describe how reports across town are describing poorly disguised Goblins, wearing the oversized jackets and trench coats of the previous staff. These Goblins are convinced they "blend right in", and actively approach people in pursuit of hot new stories to cover.

Every day leading up to the PC's departure, you can describe how that days newspaper is filled with poorly written stories that push Pro-Goblin propaganda. Even if people don't buy these papers, they inevitably end up everywhere as the Goblin paper boys vandalize the town with unsold editions.

In combat, you can have these fake journalists having a meeting in a sketchy alleyway, or a seedy tavern. In the last one or two days before your party leaves, you can have the latest article in the newspaper describe how the Goblins have captured different people, and will behead one every day that passes without their demands being met.

Perhaps your group finds the boss goblin when they go to liberate the captives. Or, they could find just the right piece of evidence to find the location of the Boss Goblin.