Search Posts
I DO NOT PUT MILK IN MY TEA! What do I look like, a Brit?! That implication, sir, is a punishable offense.
Neither do we... No, but you call them biscuits, and that's awful, because then what do you call those things you eat at breakfast with gravy? And don't say scones! Those are those delicious dry pastries that are so much thicker than regular pastries!
Hwhat? I can't unnerstant a dangol' thing that man's speakin, with his accent! Can't ya speak proper English, like an American?!
Psst. For you Europeans, like Emissary, 1776 is the year America declared independence from the British. And kicked the living s~#! out of them.
At least we're all American. Except the people that aren't, to whom I convey that I'm so, so sorry. Not for the assumption, but for the scenario.
Correctly.
FPM is the only parody alias I have that never gets a Favorite. Not even from Tacticslion! Ugh. Can nobody appreciate parody?
I just look for any opportunity to point out that color has no u in it, really...or that aluminum is pronounced exactly as it is spelled, not "al-ooh-mini-yum"...or that chips are crunch delicious things that come in bags, not french fries, and those sweet delicious things that Oreo makes are called cookies, not biscuits! Seriously, what do you guys call biscuits if cookies are biscuits? You know, the things southern people eat with gravy, or McDonalds serves with meat and eggs in the middle?
I'm extremely picky with vegetables and fruits...but I have yet to run into a type of meat I don't like... This boy is proud to be MURICAN!
Nobody is stronger than the average American! Go USA! I like the cut of this man's jib. MURCIA!
That's not nearly as cool as celebrating rebelling against the British by blowing crap up on July 4th. I'm just sayin'. ...MURICA!
I have a math problem for you? What's 1776 + 1812? It equals twice in a row, sir! Booya! Also, there's no "u" in color. Take your superfluous letters and dip them in figgy pudding, or spotted dick, or beans on toast, or whatever other horrid culinary contraption you folks have come up with of late! MURICA!
My wife has family in Manchester and roundabout that area. I look forward to visiting one day, and not just because I want to see if my British accent is passable in native lands (I have literally fooled customers at various jobs with it many a time), but also for the distinct purpose of visiting many a British tea spot. Although I do hear tea as a British habit is only a little older than my homeland's existence (read - that time we whooped you folks like it wasn't even fair with like two hemped out farmers for every nine soldiers you brought - 'MURICA!). The real place to see the homeland of tea is China. (I think that tangent deserves my FPM alias. He doesn't get to play often enough.) (Please read my earlier comment about respecting the UK, but as an American it is a little known law that we must, by threat of imprisonment, bring up the revolutionary war and the absurd beating you received any time we speak to a Brit. Sorry. Policy. Otherwise I like you folks, even though your monarchy is a glorified biologically inherited party planning committee that serves no actual purpose and wastes a monumental amount of taxpayer money considering you have a prime minister and parliament and all. But who am I to talk? We have a government that thinks charging people who can't afford insurance a yearly fee for not having insurance is a good idea.)
Hey, hey, hey...I got an algebra problem that says otherwise. It may be mathematically inaccurate, but it sure is historically accurate: 1776 + 1812 = USA > UK.
A cricket thread? That's just wrong! You adorable foreigners and your silly competitions you call sports. Don't you know that a ball is meant to be launched into a stadium when hit with a bat, and a rug be a thing that's on the floor? For that matter, a football is an oblong brown thing that people throw with their hands, and soccer is for middle aged moms to dump their hyperactive kids off for practice while they get ten minutes of blessed peace, not world championships. Also, beans on toast is terrible breakfast, peanut butter is delicious, royalty without political power is a waste of tabloid paper that could be reporting on real celebrities, and there's no "u" in armor or color, no matter how hard you try. Biscuits are served with gravy, not chocolate chips - those are called cookies, chips come in a bag and aren't called crisps, fries are for freedom and will never be chips, and wearing all red and lining up like it's target practice is a terrible way to quell a rebellion! Coffee is how you properly caffeinate, and the metric system WILL NEVER OVERCOME!!!! 'MURICA!! |
