Fawtly DM's page

Having failed to secure enough funds to move all Fawtlies to Myrtle Beach, SC, I The Lord President, have decided that as of September of this year the Capitol shall be moved to Houston Texas.

This location was chosen not only for it's high Fawtl population, but also because that's where my wife's new job is. But regardless of the reasons, Houston you have been chosen to be the new Fawtl Capitol of the World.

Poor Houston.

We are getting ready to start a new Kingmaker game with two new players to Pathfinder. My wife wants to play a Druid, worshiper of Demeter, and neither she nor I really like Wild Shape.

So here's my question, what would you folks do to replace Wild Shape as a class feature... and a loss of armor proficency?

One of the things I was thinking about doing was opening up certain Sorcerer Bloodlines to her, things like Dreamspun, or Starsoul, to add an air of mysticism to ther character.

I can't think of anything in my life as precious to me as my wonderful wife. A few of y'all have met her and you know how wonderful she is, so here it is, a public declaration of my unending love for her. I love her for so many reasons, not the least of which is putting up with my moody ass.

1. I love her for her smile, it's infectious.
2. I love her gentle nature, it keeps me in check.
3. I love her for the way she makes me want to be a better man.
4. I love her for the three beautiful children she gave me.
5. I love her for the way she still seems innocent and pure, even after all this time.
6. I love her for the passion she brings out.
7. I love the way she still gets giddy over a cheesy romance.
8. I love the way she curls into me when we sit watching movies.
9. I love her eyes, so full of caring and love.
10. I love the way she tries so hard to make me happy.
11. I love that she challenges me, we don't always agree and that's fine.
12. I love how hard she works for our family.
13. I love her for being my friend, and that's not easy.
14. I love her for being my lover, adventurous and full of passion.
15. I love how smart she is.
16. I love the look in her eyes when she looks at me, it makes me feel invincible.
17. I love the fact that she gets excited about PF game night... days in advance.
18. I love her dreamer nature, she believes that anything is possible, and makes me believe it too.
19. I love the way her skin feels under my fingers.
20. I love the taste of her kisses, I just can't stop kissing her sometimes.

There's 20 reasons, feel free to chime in with why you love your wife too, or your husband if you have one. ;)

Yes. He can. It's allowed by his Code of Conduct, and backed up by his alignment, which is LPM. That's Lethal Psychotic Man for you n00bs.

In light of some of the crap you've had to put up with on your Christmas holiday, I thought I'd take the time to try and bring a little holiday cheer to you, and invite others to do the same.

Merry Christmas Gary, I hope you and the lovely Missus have a quiet(er) and stress free very Merry Christmas. I hope everyone will join me in giving you the gift of a headache free holiday.

It occurs to me that FAWTL has become a rather eclectic mixing bowl of people. We have a wide variety of opinions and interest among us, and music taste is no exception. So I invite my fellow FAWTLies and others to post music that appeals to us, or just to drop in and have a listen.

So with that in mind I, you're Mad Host Misssssssster MOORLUCK offer you these...

Colin Hay-Overkill

Weed Card-Garfunkel and Oats

The Legendary Johnny Cash, with God Will Cut You Down.

Let's see what we else we can offer up to the masses.

SO it has come to my attention that many of you do not understand the awesome intellect of the man called TOZ. Feel free to challenge his acerbic wit, but be warned for The TOZ always knows best.

And to prove this theory, I will ask the first question of the mighty wizard of TOZ.

Dear TOZ, how did you get to be so damn smart?

Over the last couple of months I have noticed a massive increase in trolling around here. Common decency and respect have gone the way of the Dodo it seems. After taking a couple of different "cool down" periods, I kept coming back to the same old BS. The sense of community that was what drew me to become an active poster here has gone away, it seems for good. After we have been called a gang, a clique, and everything but late for dinner we FaWTLies have decided that it really isn't the home we once thought it was, so we leave it you guys, feel free to flame and bash away. You've proven that a diverse group who can embrace political, religious, and even sexual differences has no place here, where the troll is protected even though the decent human being is the endangered species.

So to all of you who have stalked us, insulted us, and otherwise just been jerks. Farewell Jackhats!

Love, FaWTL.

What?

over an hour.

I know not a great long time, but I'm done. I burn way to much money on the damn things, and when my oldest son asked me if he was good at school would I quit I said yes. So I've been trying to smoke less and less over the last week or so, but today I didn't bother buying any more. So here goes. :S

See what happens when you mess with Fawtl!?

We don't die, we MULTIPLY!

And on this day did Lord Moorluck, lord of the Kingdom of Chaos look over his land, nestled in a crazed corner of some crazed Fairy Tale Realm. Bordered on one side by The River of Dreams, and on the other by a forest known only as The Woods, it was a mighty kingdom made even mightier still by his loyal army of werebadgers led by the feirce Lord Secretary of Ass Kicking, Taig. But troubled was his ignoble brow this day, for just this morn was he stirred from his revels with the insatiable Lady Solnes, and her harrem of nymphs, and told most distressing news. Fendri, the widow of Fenris the Wolfman had woven a dark spell against his house.SHe had filed a Lawsuit, charging his administration guilty of failing to prevent the death of her husband at the hands of those vile criminals, Porkchop, Bacon, and Hamhock, known collectivly as The Three Evil Pigs. His gaurds were all drunk on wine brought from the Glade of Mairkurion, and so were worthless. He needed dupes, fools, patsies. Not that he couldn't just ride out on his horse and slay the criminals himself, but he killed his horse in a drunken brawl last week over who got the last beer. Who would he get to handle this problem he wondered, maybe if he threw in a one night pass to Mairkurion's Hall of Dryads he could get someone to sign up.

With his riders sent to the four or five corners of his realm, The Lord President knew that by tomorrow he would have some fools to attend this quest. Which worked just fine for him, gave him more time to chase his lady around the palace.

The next day found him sitting in his throne looking down at the motly crew standing before him, "I guess you're the best we've got then, fair enough, you look like you can at least handle yourselves in a good brawl." He stands and steps towards the group of you, his enchanted greatsword, "Vote Changer", draped across his shoulder. "I have a problem, a problem that I need taken care of, a problem that could prove profitable for you. You see just last week I had a visit from that bedazzled nightmare Sebastan, it seems that he was hired by Mrs Wolf, widow of the late Mr BB Wolf. She wants retribution for his death, either I have to bring his killers to justice, or prepare to fight her lawsuit in court, HAVE YOU SEEN OUR COURTS!? I will not spend days presiding over this nonsense. I want you to go into the Forest Enchanted, find those damn pigs, and bring me back some country ham."

He looks at you as if to give you permission to ask whatever questions you may have.

And on this day did Lord Moorluck, lord of the Kingdom of Chaos look over his land, nestled in a crazed corner of some crazed Fairy Tale Realm. Bordered on one side by The River of Dreams, and on the other by a forest known only as The Woods, it was a mighty kingdom made even mightier still by his loyal army of werebadgers led by the feirce Lord Secretary of Ass Kicking, Taig. But troubled was his ignoble brow this day, for just this morn was he stirred from his revels with the insatiable Lady Solnes, and her harrem of nymphs, and told most distressing news. Fendri, the widow of Fenris the Wolfman had woven a dark spell against his house.SHe had filed a Lawsuit, charging his administration guilty of failing to prevent the death of her husband at the hands of those vile criminals, Porkchop, Bacon, and Hamhock, known collectivly as The Three Evil Pigs. His gaurds were all drunk on wine brought from the Glade of Mairkurion, and so were worthless. He needed dupes, fools, patsies. Not that he couldn't just ride out on his horse and slay the criminals himself, but he killed his horse in a drunken brawl last week over who got the last beer. Who would he get to handle this problem he wondered, maybe if he threw in a one night pass to Mairkurion's Hall of Dryads he could get someone to sign up.

Ok here is the discussion for our own insane little PbP. The rules are simple, PF system, starting level is 3rd, any race/class combo is fine, as you can tell it's going to be a little... off. The old Greek Gods still hold sway in this realm and the Point Buy is 25 points. Any questions? Ok, so lets get my first PbP DM experience under way! :)

EDIT: And I just realized that I put this in the wrong place. Uhm.... Gary, could you please move this thread to where it belongs? No, not the trash, to PbPs. :P

This is the 'meet and greet' thread for the face to face game at the FAWTLY gatering in May, please post info about the PCs here so I we can get them to know one another, then I will get things started here

I am one of the least tech savvy people I know, and I have a silly question. I have the PS3, and am playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, I have set the system up on the Playstation network, downloaded the latest version of the game, but how do I get the downloadable characters, Juggernaught, Magneto, Cable, Carnage, and Psylocke? What am I missing?

Welcome all to our temple of naughtiness. We will comense in our services to the Lovely Lynora as soon as our Lady arrives! Our rules are simple and sweet, just like us! We love Lynora and eachother too!

Ok, as I am expecting to receive delivery of my PF core rulebook in the next week or so, I have a request for you guys. My wife loves playing a Druid, but she, and I, hate Wild Shape. Does anyone have any suggestions for a good replacement feature? Maybe granting access to either Animal or Plant Domains, but they get alot of those spells anyway. Open to ideas.

So taig gave me this idea, blame him too! I feel that there should be Jell-O wrestling televised, even an Olympic team. What say you guys? ;P

I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to all the men and women, past and present who serve in the Armed Forces. Thank you for your courage, your honor, and your sacrifice. I ask that each of us remembers the upcomming holiday for what it's meaning is, to honor those that protect you. God bless you all.

OK so here I am think about how the succubus is such a "spell-happy" creature and being the fan I am of such creatures I was wondering if anyone on the boards could offer advice on a succubus that uses contact poisens to incite her prey and fog their minds instead of all the spell casting? I want to remove most of her spell like abilities and instead make her a more physical threat.

Just curious. I actually use alot of stuff from the BoEF in my game.I DM for a group of adults (no kids allowed fo obvious reasons) and find that it's actually a pretty good source for stuff like pregnancy rates and gestation periods...does anybody else use the book or am I the lone perve here?

I'd like to hear from others who game with, or as in my case DM with their spouse, how do you guys handle it and does it cause any "special" problems in your campaigns?