Ekklub's page

Ekklub continues to glare ferociously at Vorka, trying to reduce the hag's ability to defend herself.

Evil Eye vs AC.

Ekklub glares at Vorka now. "Stupid goblin not understand. Smart goblins rule now. Bow, stupid goblin!"

Doing so, she uses her evil eye to weaken Vorka's resistance to... well, anything really.

-2 to saves, 5 rounds/1 round on DC12 Will

Ekklub sees Snorg's continual failure, and hurls a sling stone at the frog to "help him out". Never mind the fact she might make things worse; it's just too funny.

Attack into melee: 1d20 ⇒ 2
Damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (4) - 1 = 3

Staying well back, Ekklub hurls a sling stone at the cannibal goblin.

1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9
1d4 - 1 ⇒ (4) - 1 = 3

"Stupid frog stay VERY STILL!"

Ekklub continues giving the frog the evil eye, making it doubt its ability to block enemy attacks. The animal falters, and Ekklub cackles madly as she watches it lose confidence.

Will save DC 12 to reduce the AC penalty to 1 round. Ekklub then cackles as a move action, extending both the attack penalty and the AC penalty by a round.

I like the description: makes it more vivid. I'd make longer posts myself but Ekklub doesn't seem that sort of character.

Initiative: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12

Acting only marginally faster than the giant frog, Ekklub stands where she is (as out-of-danger as possible), and gives the creature the evil eye. Hopefully this will hinder its attempts to eat her...

Evil Eye hex; Will save DC 12 to reduce it to 1 round. Otherwise 5 rounds with a -2 penalty to attack.

Back now!

Totally OOC post, so I apologise. My guess is that the first 1d4 was to determine the number of spikes present.

Ekklub isn't much of a healer either.

"Nergul take ladder. Fetch Snorg? Or leave Snorg as bait?"

Ekklub grabs the ladder down from where it's sitting, and waves it vaguely in Nergul's direction. She then overbalances and drops it, narrowly missing the guide.

Ekklub, somewhat disappointed, points at Mukluk. "Is Mukluk turn now. Go! Walk!"

"Wait wait wait! Not goblin go first. Turtle go first!"

Ekklub cackles with glee, one of the more disturbing sounds known to goblinkind, and detaches a patch from her robe. It turns into a three-legged turtle: apparently the unfortunate reptile has been in some sort of accident, or maybe the artist understood perspective about as well as the average goblin.

Ekklub places the turtle gently on the ground and shoos it down the corridor...

Hopefully this will set off the trap, leaving it clear for us to (a) have turtle meat for dinner and (b) get past safely.

"Bad Dog!"

Ekklub shrieks at the worg, oblivious or uncaring of the fact that it's not a dog. It looks like one.

The tiny witch's glare, coupled with her earlier spell, is enough to send the worg flinching even more.

Evil Eye hex, -2 to AC - Will save DC12 to reduce the duration to 1 round from 5

"Aaaak! Bad dog!"

Initiative: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22

Ekklub reacts quickly, staying back from the big ugly thing, and picks up the rat that scampers at her feet. She aims it at the wolf, twitching nose first, and suddenly the rodent takes on a ferocious and terrifying aspect.

Casting Cause Fear, which makes the enemy frightened for 1d4 ⇒ 2 rounds unless it makes a DC13 Will save. If it makes the save, it's shaken for 1 round.

"Ladder! Go, ladder!"

Ekklub squawks excitedly, picking a few strands from her robe, then detaching one of the patches. It turns into a useful ladder - very useful - which Ekklub proceeds to lower down the hole. She almost drops it, but not quite: and then she prods Snorg to make him go first.

Ekklub cackles gleefully, and glares at Buttbiter. "Bad Dog!" she yells, giving it the most baleful eyeballing she can manage.

Evil Eye hex, -2 to attacks. Will save DC 12 to reduce this to 1 round, otherwise it's 5 rounds.

The other dogs are out for 1 minute (10 rounds) so we can coup-de-grace them in a bit.

"Aak! Dogs! Go 'way!"

Ekklub squawks, high-pitched and indignant, and makes feeble shooing motions. She reacts slowly

Initiative: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 = 6

but when she does, she starts weaving a spell, sending the dogs to sleep.

Taking a 5-ft step backwards if in melee, then casting Sleep; Will save DC13 to negate. It affects up to 4HD of creatures, so if these are 1HD dogs they all need to save.

Ekklub takes the dry, papery wasp's nest - at least, it's dry and papery underneath all the mud! - and carries it carefully away from the gangplank. She then grabs the rat that's squirming in and out of her clothing, backs away from the nest, slowly and cautiously, then points the rat at it.

"Burn! Burn!!" she shrieks, and a small spark appears on the rat's nose.

"Not you! It!" is the reaction, and a wisp of smoke rises from the nest. Soon, it is merrily alight.

I've never seen a wasps' nest that doesn't burn well. Ekklub is casting Spark, which ignites a flammable object or substance.

Ekklub does her best to catch the mud-ball:

Reflex: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (16) + 3 = 19

... and, even though she's not in the best position to do so, she manages to grab hold of it without breaking it.

"Ha! Told you Ekklub smartest goblin!"

Ekklub glares at Nergul for having the temerity to insult her intelligence.

"Ekklub smartest goblin."

It's a simple statement and, to give it the lie immediately, she starts walking up the plank entirely unprepared.

Climb: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (6) - 1 = 5

Unfortunately for Ekklub's dignity, she wobbles and falls off immediately. Not to be out-done by a piece of wood, she has another go:

Climb: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1

... and falls flat on her back. Lying there, pulling faces at the sky, she challenges all and sundry: "Stupid goblins not able to trick plank into false sense of security!"

"Yes, eat horse meat. Big Mucky like plaguey horse-meat."

It turns out that one of the few things more disturbing than Ekklub glowering is Ekklub happy.

Seeing the horse dance in fear, Ekklub carries on pulling faces at it. "Now stupid horse not bite as hard!"

Another Evil Eye hex, this one affecting attack rolls: -2 to all of them, lasting 5 rounds or 1 on a save.

"Horse!" Ekklub shouts, pointing unnecessarily. "Horse go away!"

She glares at the animal, trying to shatter its tiny mind.

Using Evil Eye, because that's what Ekklub does and because it'll actually work here. The horse takes a -2 penalty on AC for 5 rounds unless it makes a DC12 will save, in which case the penalty lasts for one round only.

Ekklub watches, silently and disapprovingly, at Snorg's antics. Eventually, she is stung to comment:

"Snorg Bigknife has big mouth too. Snorg Bigknife find horse and swallow it, perhaps."

My apologies for the hiatus - I just forgot to check the site yesterday!

Ekklub looks, angrily, at the wriggling cocoon. Maybe it's the cocoon where the spider kept its brain, and that's why she couldn't make it run away with a glare.

"Stupid spider."

She marches up and prods the cocoon, using her ratty old club as a means of keeping away of the sticky stuff.

"Speak up, we can't hear you!" she hollers.

Ekklub sees the spider fleeing, and cackles at it. "Spider flee! Spider more stupid even than stupid!"

Though it doesn't make much sense, her shout is accompanied by another sling stone - which, hopefully, has more of an impact.

Attack: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15
Damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2
Typed the damage wrong last time, but it was a miss anyway.

Ekklub shrieks in rage as the spider ignores her. "Take that!", she shouts, hurling a sling stone at it.

"This spider even more stupid than stupid goblin" she states, looking like she wants to carry on glaring at it.

I know it's immune, but Ekklub doesn't! :)

Ekklub turns around to see the giant spider attempting to chew on Mukluk. She sniggers.

"Spider eat stupid goblin, not eat Ekklub! But stupid goblin maybe needed later."

She glares at the spider, doing her best to cast doubt into what passes for its mind.

Using Evil Eye hex to reduce the spider's AC by 2. This lasts 5 rounds unless it makes a DC12 Will save, in which case it's 1 round.
Initiative: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22

Ekklub makes sure she has her trusty stick - for hitting things with; her sling - for hitting things with further away; and is feeling sufficiently grumpy to put the Evil Eye on things - to stop them hitting her.

The hangover, mild though it is, really helps with the grumpiness.

She puts on her new robe - not planning to think of it as borrowed, even if technically that's what the chief would say - and swaggers down to meet the others. The grand entrance is somewhat spoiled when she trips over the edge of the robe, rolls in a ball of cloth down the muddy street, and ends up sitting nose-to-nose with her giant rat.

"Ekklub meant to do that!" she states defiantly, in one of the most obvious lies even a goblin has told.

Ready!

FYI: I'm out tonight and tomorrow morning with work etc., but I'll be able to post tomorrow afternoon.

Ekklub stares haughtily at Gurbul Dogears.

"Ekklub walk in and out like proud hero goblin!" she proclaims. She suits actions to words, getting most of the way through the contraption without even a scratch. Unfortunately, proud hero goblins are liable to get cocky, and Ekklub is no exception. She turns to her audience, grinning, and waves - but then her sleeve catches on a protrusion, she wobbles, and falls into some rusty wire. That doesn't cause her much of a problem: she sniggers and walks on, taking a nasty scratch on one arm but emerging the other side with even more of a swagger than when she entered.

"Now Gurbul Dogears do challenge!" she shouts.

Escape Artist 1: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20
Escape Artist 2: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (15) + 3 = 18
Escape Artist 3: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12
Damage: 1d4 - 2 ⇒ (2) - 2 = 0
Escape Artist 4: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14
Damage 2: 1d4 - 2 ⇒ (3) - 2 = 1
Escape Artist 5: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21

Ekklub grabs the cup, and holds it out for the rat to sample first. The big grubby creature puts its front paws on the rim of the mug, leans in, wobbles, and then sinks its filthy snout into the drink. It emerges, sputtering, and scuttles off somewhere to remove the stuff from its whiskers.

Ekklub grins.

"Shows it good drink."

Ekklub stares intently at her rat. "Big Mucky will protect Ekklub. Swamp not terrifying. Swamp damp and squishy though, and Ekklub not like wet. Things not burn well in wet."

She grimaces as she tries to recall what she knows...

Local, untrained: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 2 = 15
Nature, untrained: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 2 = 15

Ekklub looks at Slorb, squinting horribly.

"Nergul always slow," she says. "Nergul not needs help to look like stupid goblin."

Ekklub is also short - yes, she's a goblin, but even for a goblin she's short. She wears dirty rags, and a big black rat (remarkably well-fed) scampers after her. She grins, toothily and horribly, at Mukluk's speech.

"Ekklub has knowing of secrets. Ekklub and Big Mucky not need big head for big power. Ekklub strong inside, with fire."

The scrawny woman's voice is resonant and fervent, with strong overtones of fanaticism.

I have made a profile page, with an alias and a link to the character sheet. I feel all competent now.

We shall see how long that lasts once Ekklub has to start fighting things!

As for the posting requirement: I can manage 1/day most of the time, but sometimes I have to travel for work. I'll know about that enough in advance (usually) to give warning. Also, weekends are busy as I'm organising getting married, and if I only manage one post in a weekend I hope that'll be OK! If it isn't, please get one of the alternates in now rather than letting me hold up the game.