Clockwork Librarian

ED-209's page

89 posts. Alias of Porphyrogenitus.


RSS

1 to 50 of 89 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | next > last >>

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Gorbacz wrote:
Hello, Armchair Theorists. How's that chair rockin' tonight?

Not too bad, trollbag with teeth. I just got my oil changed and a weapons UPGRAYEDD. Plus my favorite mechanic lubed my chassis if you know what I mean. ^_+

How are you doing?


Espy Kismet wrote:
In BASTARD!! you've got Dark Schnider, this guy is so powerful everyone knows about him and fears him even. Though as the show progresses, you discover that he really isn't totally all powerful.

ZOMG! Dark Schnider!

(Or is this Dark Schnider?)


Lumiere Dawnbringer wrote:
a party of 16 PCs all 15th level, with nothing to their name.

They had it easy!


gustavo iglesias wrote:
In your game, you can play as you wish. For example, in my game, fireball doesn't do damage, just create colorful butterflies.

Oh wow!

Fireball (mind effecting): creates dozens if not hundreds of fascinating, colorful butterflies. Enemies within the area of effect (30' radius) spend their next 1d4+1 rounds marking out, squeeing like schoolchildren, and looking for small nets to capture them with.

After the 1d4+1 rounds, the butterflies disappear. Enemies affected by the spell spend their next turn crying like small children who lost their favorite toy forever.

Additional effect: affected creatures must make a Will save or spend their next 1d2 lifetimes in a state of despond. This despair can only be removed by keeping a live butterfly somewhere on their person at all times.


Lumiere Dawnbringer wrote:

i never gave her a theme song

she was raised by Gypsys in her early life before the kidnapping that forced her to live alone on the streets

so more of a Lowlife Street Urchin Loli Gutter Rat with a tendency to beg, steal, and Escape.

she was more flighty and self contained than anything

Oh wow she needed a theme song! Poor her, she totally missed out on having her own theme music!


Lumiere Dawnbringer wrote:
andreww wrote:
Lumiere Dawnbringer wrote:
she hadn't much a formal education, being self taught (no knowledge skills), but she learned many street urchin talents that helped her avoid notice, she was an unregistered wizard. not taught by the academy, so many guilds sought her for her stealthy and underhanded ways, being closer to a rogue than a proper wizard.

Blatant combat munchkinism. You should hang your head in shame.../sarcasm

:)

don't Disrespect a Gypsy Thief, Beggar, and Vagabond that could make storms occur at any moment.

Oh wow was this her theme song?


Mr. Schneider: What do you think about the thread being overrun by smurfs?

Do smurfs have trample?


Aioran wrote:
ED-209, I don't think you have the appropriate build to coup de grace yourself with a firearm.

Darn. But have you seen me in action?

Oh well, I decided to go into a new line of work anyhow.

TriOmegaZero wrote:
CWheezy wrote:
Ok I guess instead of discussion you just want to do personal attacks.
Pluck out the beam in thine own eye, friend.

Beams for sale, 3 for a copper.

Get your beams at Crazy ED's Discount Beams - suitable for all your Downtime construction activities and Kingdom building actions.

Beams for sale, 3 for a copper!


*pulls out revolver*

*shoots self in mouth, Robert "Budd" Dwyer style*

*gets reincarnated 3 days later*

*pulls out revolver*

*shoots self in mouth, Robert "Budd" Dwyer style*

*gets reincarnated 3 days later*

*pulls out revolver*

Oh, sorry, I thought this was the "God" Wizard (er, Oracle) thread. My bad

*shoots self in mouth, Robert "Budd" Dwyer style*

*gets reincarnated 3 days later*

Still, I bet you filthy Martials can't do this.

*pulls out revolver*

Yup, it's still Groundhog Day.

*rinse, repeat, and recycle*


1 person marked this as a favorite.

You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!


You got your peanut butter in my chocolate!


1) Feet first, in a box.

2) Use the new Downtime System to have them establish their own enterprise/business/organization in some burg, and have them retire to run that.

3) Feet first, in a box.

4) Burial at sea.

5) Put on "administrative leave" by their Lodge (PFS members only).

6) Feet first, in a box.

7) Appointed groom or valet by a nobleman.

8) Feet first, in a box.

9) marriage & children tie them down with responsibilities, spouse doesn't want them engaging in risky adventures "with those hooligan so-called-friends of yours."

10) Feet first, in a box.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Invasion of the Spambots!

SHOCK!

HORROR!

FEEL THE TERROR IN LIVE 3D!

(Children under 12 not admitted).


1 person marked this as a favorite.

GHAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh


Rynjin wrote:
Or have you never eaten at a Golden Corral?

The Golden Trough!

THey have quite the variety.

Nobody has quite the same package they do.


Have you ever lived like a refugee?

Do you know you don't have to live like a refugee?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Jessica Price wrote:
Removed a bunch of personal sniping, responses, and commentary on the sniping. If you feel a post is inappropriate, please flag it and move on.

But...my T-shirts. . .

I was going to get rich off of royalties on those and get an U.P.G.R.A.Y.D.D. to Hedonismbot.

*sadface*


ciretose wrote:
gustavo iglesias wrote:
ciretose wrote:
andreww wrote:
ciretose wrote:
Not to start the derail, but the Tarrasque has ranged attacks and daze is (as the spell) is mind effecting.

On the Daze issue the spell Daze may be a mind affecting spell but the condition Daze is not the same as the spell. The would be like saying because Stormbolts stuns the target all Stuns have the [electricity] elemental tag.

Dazed is also addressed in the Glossary which says:

Quote:
Dazed: The creature. . .
You might want all Daze effects to be mind affecting but they very clearly aren't.
a kick in the groin is dazing, and not mind affecting
Fair point.

*Sung like HAL9000*

Dazing, Dazing, give me your answer-do
We're half crazy, all for the lack of things to do
We won't write a clarified ruleset
We'll have to prolong the debate
In a forum to small for two.

Thank you, thank you. This was the Crazy Droid Chorus (Tom Servo, conductor).


Marthkus wrote:
Surviving as a rogue is not that hard. It's attempting at being effective in combat AND not dying at the same time, that is hard.

So in other words, I did fix it for you.

Mr. Fixit, that's me!


Marthkus wrote:
Yes the rogue is a lost cause, but rogue's are not martials. They fall into the abyss known as "killed" characters.

Fixed your typo for you.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
ciretose wrote:
TriOmegaZero wrote:
ciretose wrote:
TOZ wrote:
ciretose wrote:
Well...and the poor Pathfinder Society folks...
I never asked for your pity.
I suspect the Toz the Great and terrible can pick his group :)
What do you mean? Doesn't everyone?
Not according to the horror stories people tell on here about the tables they are "trapped" at...

I was once shackled to a gaming table and given nothing but weak broth and wormy bread. I was flogged for impertinence when I asked to be allowed to roll my own dice.

Naturally, we were playing "Skull & Shackles" and the DM was a "storyteller" DM who demanded verisimilitude in all his games.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
ciretose wrote:
gustavo iglesias wrote:
what about my build?
I must have missed it in the clutter, sorry. Can you repost or link to it?

I just reposted it for him! Gah! Droids have to do everything around here!

*falls over and undersized feet kick at the air pathetically*


It Takes a Droid.

gustavo's sorceress, Mirta the Moneylender's Daughter, Faerie Dragon, 20th level:
Female Human Crossblooded Draconic/Fey Sorcerer 20
CN Medium Humanoid (human)
Init ; Senses darkvision 60 ft, See invisibility, Blindsense 60, Perception +30
--------------------
Defense Fire Immunity, Immune to Paralysis and Sleep.
--------------------
AC 51, touch 20, flat-footed 40(+8 armor, +6 shield, +5 Dex, +9 natural, +5 deflection, +1 luck, +1 insight, +5 defending bonus)
hp 195 (20d6+120) + Empowered False Life
Fort +18, Ref +17, Will +21
--------------------
Offense
--------------------
Speed 30 ft, Fly 60 ft
Sorcerer Spells Known (CL 20):
9 (7/day) Shapechange (b), Mage's disjuntion, Dominate Monster (DC 35)
8 (8/day) Greater Shadow Evocation(DC 30), Moment of Prescience, Maze, Irresistible Dance (DC 34) (b), Polymorph Any Object (DC 30), Greater Planar Binding
7 (8/day) Vision, Greater Shadow Conjuration (DC 29), Spell Turning, Hungry Darkness, Form of the dragon II (b)
6 (8/day) True Seeing, Mislead (b), Flesh to Stone (DC 28), Greater Dispel Magic, Mass Suggestion (DC 32)
5 (8/day) Telekinesis, Feeblemind (DC 33), Teleport, Wall of Force, Spell Resist (b) Sirocco (DC 27) Fickle Winds
4 (9/day) Dragon's Breath (DC 26), Dimensional Anchor, Dimension Door, Confusion (DC 30), Resilient Sphere, Enervation, Cause Fear (b)
3 (9/day) Magic Circle against Evil, Clairaudience/Clairvoyance, Fly (b) , Haste, Fireball (DC 25),
2 (9/day) glitterdust (DC24), Resist Energy, False Life, Mirror Image, Command Undead (DC 24), Invisibility, spectral hand
1 (9/day) Liberating Command, Shield, Grease, Identify, Disguise Self, true strike, Snowball
0 (at will) Arcane Mark, Disrupt Undead, Message, Light, Mage Hand, Open/Close Detect Magic, Mending, Prestidigitation (DC 22)

--------------------
Statistics
--------------------
Str 8, Dex 20, Con 22, Int 18, Wis 16, Cha 34
Base Atk +10; CMB +11; CMD 31

Feats: Maximize Spell, Intensify, Elemental Spell (cold), Eschew Materials, Greater Spell Focus (Enchantment), Spell Focus (Enchantment), Improved Initiative, Persistent Spell, Quicken Spell, Spell Penetration, Greater Spell Penetration, Spell Perfection (Feeblemind)

Traits: Magical Lineage (Feeblemind), Wayang Spell Hunter (fireball)

Skills: Bluff +36 Intimidate +36, Fly +16, Knowledge (arcana) +28, Perception +30, Sense Motive +26, Spellcraft +23, Use Magic Device +17

Languages Common, Draconic, fey , Celestial , Ignam, Terram

Equipment: +5 Mithral Spiked Buckler (+5 defending spike), Amulet of natural armor +5, Belt of physical might (Dex and Con) +6, Bracers of armor +8, Cloak of resistance +5, Eyes of the eagle, Handy haversack (1 @ 19 lbs), Headband of mental superiority +6, Manual of bodily health +5, , Ring of protection +5, Tome of leadership and influence +5, Jingasa of the Fortunate Soldier, +1 AC ioun stone, +1 CL ioun Stone, Stone of Good Luck, Mnemonic Vestment x2, Scroll of Contingency, Scroll of Time Stop, Scroll of Mind Blank, Lesser Rod of Empower x3, Gloves of Storing, Master's Staff of Necromancy, Efficient Quiver, Lesser Rod of Quickening , Rod of Silent Spell.

gustavo iglesias wrote:

I didn't get any of the ussual cheese offenders (simulacrum, blood money, explosive runes, animate dead, animate object, etc) except for Plannar Binding, which is just too cool to have with a huge CHA, and it can be kept under control just with Gentlemen's Agreement (ie: no chainbinding efreets for infinite wishes and other sheanigangs) Also left out the emergency Sphere, for similar reasons

Few tricks:
Versus other spellcasters, the key spell is Feeble Mind. She can cast a DC 38 (including the -5) Persistent quickened Feeblemind as a 8th level spell, ussually after a MAximized Enervation as 8th level spell. That means 2 DC 42 Will saves in a row, of combat ends, except contingencies (pun intended). Other option (with different feats) is casting a Heightened 9th level persistent (through the staff) Feeblemind, with DC 40, after a quickened maximized (with the staff) Enervation, for two DC 44 will saves, or combat ends.

Some other nice tricks: vs Fighter types, DC 35 Dominate Monster (which can be combined with a quickened Cause Fear for the -2 to saves shake, or with Enervation)
Irresistible Dance + Quickened Spectral Hand means instant victory, even if Save is made.

Vs brute guys with low Reflex: Hungry Darkness + Quickened Resilient Sphere, or just Maze.
Vs guys with low Fort: Flesh to stone (although normally a Feeblemind is better vs those)

Vs big groups: Wall of Force, Confusion, Resilient Sphere + Hungry Darkness, Mass Suggestion, etc.

Against the Mind affecting Immune creatures (assuming I can't use Command Undead), I can use fireball.
Maximized Intensified Empowered (rod) Fireball do 105+1/2(15d6+15) as 6th level spell. Combining it with a quickened Intensifed Empowered (rod) fireball as 7th lvel spell that does 1.5*(15d6+15), it means an average of 240 damage in 20' radious. You could swap it to cold damage if needed. It's not Martial Level damage, but it's not bad for a backup weapon.
Against weapon-users, Quickened True Strike + Telekinesis does wonders. It also work as grapple and bull rush in some circumstances.

In the deffesive Side: I have 51 AC, not couting Cover (from an interposing hand or similar effect casted with Shadow Conjruation or Shadow Evocation). That means 55 AC with cover, so the Tarrasque need 18+ to hit me, Moment of Prescience not withstanding. I can also ignore a crit or sneak per day, so I think my melee defense is decently covered. My Mirror Images, with AC 46/51, last for a lot, actually. Fickle Winds protects vs arrows. Spell Turning helps vs spells. Mage's Disjunction help to Unbuff people.

I'm inmune to Divination (great combo with Greater Invisibility) if I use a Mnemonic Vestment+Mindblank Scroll, I can fly naturally, I'm fire immune, have Blindsense, paralysis immunity, good perception, a few decent skills, most bases covered.

I only took 2 mnemonic Vestment, and a few Scrolls. The Wardrobe of Mnemonic Vestments is quite cheesy too, so I kept it to a minimum.

I removed one of the Inherent bonus books to make room for some funky stuff like scrolls. I'm pretty sure I can squeeze a bit more the WBL, but it's just fine for a quick experiment I think.

Now tell me what you think about it, Ciretose.


gustavo iglesias wrote:
ED-209 wrote:
gustavo iglesias wrote:
what about my build?

It was very nice.

Trolls came and ate it.

It was very tasty.

oh crap.

So let's ccntinue debating about things that will never happen in 99.99% of the tables (due to houserule, gentlemen agreement, or direct gm ban) like blood money-> wish, instead of real problems with real spells that get used, like feeblemind, fireball, maze, resilient sphere+anu damage zone, etc

I am just a humble messenger.

Repost it maybe. (Yes, repost it: people are lazy. Don't expect them to scroll back for it).


2 people marked this as a favorite.
gustavo iglesias wrote:
what about my build?

It was very nice.

Trolls came and ate it.

It was very tasty.


Jack Rift wrote:
Being turned into an undead should stop clone as well. But don't quote me on it.

Too late. QQ


ciretose wrote:
Kirth Gersen wrote:

]That point was made many times. The thing is, the people doing the destructive playtesting had a disconcerting tendency to talk like "Comic Book Guy" on the Simpsons, which was really jarring, because prior to the whole 4e/PF rift, these boards were more like a hippie commune of chill gamers. You could almost smell the reefer smoke in every post.

Some of the new playtesters, although sober and keenly insightful, were also so bombastic that it was almost impossible to sift through the bile to get to the nearly-priceless gems they were coughing up. And so, ultimately, everything they were saying -- useful or otherwise -- got pointedly ignored. And the rules are the worse for it.

Hell, throw an invite only playtest con.

BetaCon!

ConBeta!

The ConBeta Invitational Tournament of Champions Battle Royale (with cheese)!

1337 pros only!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

37. Horrifically torturing someone the PCs care about deeply (comic version: torturing someone who gets off on it deeply, Addams Family-style).


35a. (comic version: talking to himself via a mirror [two-sided convo])


5 people marked this as a favorite.

17. Chewing out underlings (comic version: being chewed out by underlings).
18. Scrying on the PCs (comic version: scrying on the PCs). (immature comic version: scrying on the PCs, with lewd camera angles).
19. Bickering with associates (comic version/demogorgon version: bickering with s/h/itself).


2 people marked this as a favorite.

06. Biological break in the middens.
07. Sleeping (comic version: clutching favorite plush-doll, preferably of one of the adventurers).
08. "Sleeping" with someone (comic version: their familiar).


2 people marked this as a favorite.

The things I don't know exist,
Are things I cannot list,
Since these are things
I don't know exist
Burma Shave.


Archpaladin Zousha wrote:
James Jacobs wrote:
Archpaladin Zousha wrote:
What familiar (regular or Improved) do you think is the most adorable?
Pseudodragon!
Me too! I love those little fellas! :)

They produce an astounding amount of dragon scat, though.

Mine fills up a haversack with dragon scat every adventure.

What is the best use of dragon scat? Depositing it in the BBEGs bedroom? Or. . .?


Post a build, they say.

Here is my build: Commoner 20, with 20 ranks of UMD. There: just as powerful as any spellcaster, which is why everyone is lining up to play commoners ftw.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Marthkus wrote:

WBL is a guideline not a rule.

Following WBL can be dis-balancing for classes like the rogue who should/need more money than the rest of the party.

Your post makes the WBL Fairy sad.

The WBL Fairy knows who has been naughty (people who convert their loot into permanent gear, so she gives them only coal in their next encounters) and who has been nice (people who convert their loot into consumables, and consume them. The WBL fairy puts extra presents in their next encounters).

The WBL Fairy is 4 realz!


Monkplayer wrote:

...

What would I use this orb for?

It's some collector's knick-knack (paddy-wack), formerly part of someone's alchemy set.

Their is an aura of mystery surrounding it, but no matter what the party does, what spell they cast, they only get a one-word answer: "Rosebud. . ."


James Jacobs wrote:
Like, say, wanting to run a gritty post-apocalyptic Dark Sun game and one of the players plays a thri-kreen ranger named Davey Cricket.

Hey!

The Ballad of Davey Cricket wrote:


Born on a mountain top in Forest Ridge,
Greenest place in the land of Thri-Kreen.
Raised in the woods so's he knew every tree,
Killed him a cannibal when he was only three.

Davey, Davey Kricket, King of the Dark Sun-tier

Fought single handed through the arena,
Till Karnak was whipped and the revolution.
And while he was handling this risky chore,
Made himself a legend, forevermore.

Davey, Davey Kricket the bug who don't know fear

He went of to Tyr and served a spell
Fixin' up the government and laws as well.
Took over Athas, I heard tell,
And patched up the crack in the Zigurrat.

Davey, Davey Kricket, seein' his duty clear.

When he come home, his politickin' was done,
While the western march had just begun.
So he packed his gear, in the blazin sun
And let out a chitterin' to the hinterlands.

Davey, Davey Kriket, off to the frontier.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Humphrey Boggard wrote:
Sorry, I haven't had the chance to read through all the posts from the beginning. Could someone summarize for me - what have you guys figured out over the last 2500 posts?

I see what you did there.


Calybos1 wrote:
Kimera757 wrote:
Please do not presume to read a stranger's mind over the internet.

That rule, all by itself, would destroy Internet discussion forums entirely.

I'll weaponize it!

*bwahahahahahahahahaha*


Lamontius wrote:
just curious while I go sushi hunting

Oh, nom!

Do you use a rod & reel for that, or a net?


Marthkus wrote:
ED-209 wrote:
Marthkus wrote:
Arguecat wrote:
Marthkus wrote:
ujjjjjjjjjj wrote:
Obvious issue is Spellcasting.
Casters Uber Alles! Everything else can suxorz, for all I care! In fact, I want to dominate them, and if I can't I'll baww and rage-quit!
There, fixed it for you.
Trolls trolling trolls, because I have no real argument, especially now that I've revealed the only reason I'm in this thread is to protect caster dominance, Plus, I lack the imagination to think that anything non-caster could do anything beyond hitting things with a sword. So I have nothing positive to contribute whatsoever to any rational discussion of the topic and only want to derail the discussion.
FIFY
I can't make a rational argument, and my only prayer now is provoking a threadlock by derailing the topic severely enough.

FIFY. ^_^


Marthkus wrote:
Arguecat wrote:
Marthkus wrote:
ujjjjjjjjjj wrote:
Obvious issue is Spellcasting.
Casters Uber Alles! Everything else can suxorz, for all I care! In fact, I want to dominate them, and if I can't I'll baww and rage-quit!
There, fixed it for you.
Trolls trolling trolls, because I have no real argument, especially now that I've revealed the only reason I'm in this thread is to protect caster dominance, Plus, I lack the imagination to think that anything non-caster could do anything beyond hitting things with a sword. So I have nothing positive to contribute whatsoever to any rational discussion of the topic and only want to derail the discussion.

FIFY. ^_^


MrSin wrote:
master_marshmallow wrote:
The fighter you want exists, you just can't have 2 cakes and eat them both.
I don't understand why everyone is trying to keep me from eating my cake.

It's delicious caek.

You must eat it.


Marthkus wrote:
Kirth Gersen wrote:
Lies. Filthy filthy lies
I'm a troll, trolling the thread for attention and topic-derailment.

I'm a troll, too!

But I do it for the only good reason to do anything: idiftl.


Porphyrogenitus wrote:
You can't see it, but you're effectively saying "it's your fault you suck, you should have rolled a caster.

You nab, nobody "rolls" anything anymore!

You're permanently discredited! Again!


*Wanders in with another random crate*

"I'm just going to put this right here."

James Jacobs wrote:
Jose Suarez 916 wrote:
Hey James, lets say that you let ur players reach the biggest city(metropolis)in ur adventure at level 12, how hard would it be to find a Potion of Stoneskin made by a Summoner(the only class that can make it)? Would you make it nearly impossible to get? or just has easy has any level 3 potion in the market?

Please spell out "your" instead of "ur." Makes it hard to read when you do that.

I don't allow summoners in my game, for a few reasons. One of those is that their spell list breaks rules I prefer not to be broken.


Marthkus wrote:

It think you are missing the point.

Me? A dull-witted droid who can't even navigate stairs, miss the point?

O.o

Nevertheless, the point remains!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

When consumables are consumed the WBL Fairy notices you're below par, and comes to top you off again!

Probably with a horde that just happens to be in the hands of the critters you just defeated with the critters you Gated!

Tis the circle of life. the circular flow!


Rynjin wrote:
Why is a Lumberjack TWFing

Because he's Okay?


w01fe01 wrote:
sorry, i know people may hate me for it, but i just cannot back 3 good saves on a fighter.

Yup, sorry, you're hated now. That disagreement is enough to earn eternal hatred! (j/k)

PSY850 has not participated in any online campaigns.