Dr. Pekker's page

Wouldn't you like to be a Pekker too?

Refreshing!

I signed ze death certificate on zis tread long, long ago.

I'm a Pekker, he's a Pekker, she's a Pekker, they're all Pekkers.

Wouldn't you want to be a Pekker, too?

I should be asleep while all you east coasters are waking up! But no, my brain has to come up with a dream about zombies!

Stupid brain! I'll be glad to give it to the first zombie I meet!

You haf been havink many bad dreams lately, ja? Settle back on ze couch and tell ze Doktor all about it. Don't vorry about ze naked Ogre; he von't mind.

I have seven secret herbs and spices! My hands are at 10 and 2!

Who was the patient? What did he/she die from?

ze website vas lookink bad zere for a moment.

ze patient has died

Heeere, puppy puppy puppy. Hold still, this will just take a second...

The only way to verify your mammalian status is dissection.

Zumone called me, ja? Snaps on rubber gloves and pulls chainsaw out of little black bag.

Did zumbody call for herr doktor? Chust let me get mein chainsaw!

*RRRRRRRRRRRRR*

Zis thread is not vell.

I used to have a couple nuts, anybody seen 'em?

All ze nuts are here.

I think I'm in love.

Zis I can fix!

*RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

*eats Dr. Pekkers staple gun*

Ach du lieber, mien shtaple gun! Ah, well, zer are alvays vays....

*pulls chainsaw out of little black bag*

I like the cut of your gib.

Nein, Herr General, das ist ein duodenum, not ein gib.

*staples Chunk's stomach*

Zer! Soon, he vill be svelte poodle!

Lord High Poodle wrote:

*humps General Mauser VonEsandem*

Oh, now it is *I* who is being punished.

Punished? Or rewarded, hmmmm???

Gott in himmel, das thread is full of hyperzexuality, ja? Neutering vill be der solution.

* Sterilizes instruments in preparation for sterilization.*

Examines thread.

Ja, I vas correct... zer are keine higher zerebral vunctions....

Exeunt

*stalks gravely into thread*

Hmmmm, zis thread iss not dead yet, jawohl? *SQUAWK!*

*stalks away*