You know what? Nah. Doesn't even work that way.
That's too harsh.
Instead, it's a free magic item, time!
Item:
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Lovely's Majestic Lifecleanse (minor artifact)
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This item looks like a completely different item. Has the wrong aura, too, 'cause, haha, you tried to steal from the part.
Every attempted deception, theft, and stealth instead causes you to be dazed for a round, glow like a torch (as if by the light cantrip and glitterdust spell - the latter only affecting you, not an area, and the former applies directly to your body instead of an object), and use a channel energy effect as if you were a cleric of your level. You may use this channel energy with no downsides (other than the effect itself) up to three times per day.
Each use after the third, however, increases your fatigue. The first time you are fatigued. The second time you are exhausted. The third time you are unconscious.
Any attempt to force the healing effect to happen doesn't work - instead, you're subject to the enervation spell. Any attempt to get rid of this object requires a remove curse (or more powerful spell that can do something similar: you know the usual suite) that has a Caster Level DC 40 to succeed. Each failure causes fatigue on the bearer of the item.
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Destruction: Lovely's Majestic Lifecleanse only falls out of existence if it feels that it's actually done its job. A creature must live up to its high standards of virtue - generosity, kindness, and selflessness - and do so for either fifty years or five levels (whichever comes first). After that time, the item fades away, but is not gone, completely. For another fifty years (or five levels) the former bearer must not fall prey to his or her own base desires: should they fall back into their party-sabotaging ways, they will instantly be re-burdened with Lovely's
... 
