Chuffy steers the sow directly into the lady longsnanks.
Search Posts
The Puss-faced avenger (as he is now referring to himself) attempts to ride the giant sow directly into the burning melee of longshanks and cake!
Chuffy, never one to pass up on a free meal, attempts to suckle the momma hog...
Chuffy shrugs (having no better idea apart from setting the barn on fire) and follows along with Poog.
"Chuffy the FlamezMaster tradez sticky black bird for Dog Slicer!
Habitually late, Chuffy eventually shows up rolling a barrel with the mirror tucked into his loincloth and the stuffed raven stuck to his great head thanks to the sticky puss from his boils. "Greatests LopTop... mezus and my whelp... ah friendezes getzes shinnies and feathers and firewaterz for great and powerful Licktoadz clan!" With this he presents the mirror, the raven, and the grain alcohol to the clan's Chief. "Chuff is mighty Licktoad, baptized in fire,
Chuff, smelling the smoke and seeing the flames devouring the wagon kicks over the barrel of seawater (towards the flames) while pushing the small keg of grain alcohol out the back and onto the ground below to his mates. He then grabs the small mirror and the stuffed raven and hightails it out of the back of the wagon...
Chuffy, absentmindedly pees on the stuck wagon wheel... lost in all of the conversation and translation. He is truck by the golden luster of his own urine as it splashes about... then he smiles big and yells and points, "Gold Peez, gold peez!" and laughs hysterically!
Chuffy smiles broadly,
He will quietly help himself to:
Chuffy is getting the hang of his club, but cant seem to find his power...
Chufness gets calm, then takes a measured swing at the overpowered feline, attempting to remove its thinking parts.
Chuffy, just like his whelp-mates, swings and misses poorly this time.
Clubby-Chuff steps and takes another big swing at the felonious feline on Poog's mug...
"Pop tha puzzy!"
Chuffy boldly goes where 2 goblins have just gone (it doesn't sound so impressive when you go third...) screaming, "Scramz you pussies!"
Chuffy chrges in right behind the fiery blast and swings mightily with his new club at kettlehead. However being a goblin, it happens to be mighty bad.
"Lookezes, Mogs takses our namez for realz!" and in a sign of unity, retrieves his toad and licks it dramatically before re-pouching it and seeing "wat the stoopidz kettlehead doz."
Chuffy, being long on bravery and short on brains, quickly says, "Kettlehead wantsis ussinz toadies? Ok, but insteadz you could go f*(kz yourselvez! Jus sayinz!" The little Chuffy-who-could absentmindedly touches his toad pouch, then slowly moves his hand to the handle of his newfound club, still hanging from his belt.
Chuffy knows the trick to catching toads is stickiness... "Toads is slimy, so hands MUST be sticky, and nothing is stickier that the offerings of King Bubble!", the large boil of Chuffy's cheek. The Boil is the recipient of many long one way conversations from Chuffy as he does his daily goings-on, which is fairly goblinish behavior as he sees it. He offers a handfuls of puss to Rita
Chuffy sings absentmindedly,
oh wait... damn sunz is brights and wakinz me ups, hurtz mine eyez it dooz! Chuffy may not be quick, but he's fast! He gets to the slough quick enough and goes instantly into "sneak" mode, just like when he was trying to snatch extra worms at feeding time in the whelp cages.
And on his first try the Chufister grabs a big, juicy toad right out of the muck! He immediately looks around (to ensure no one is trying to snatch his toad) and he shoves it into his "stuff pouch" before taking off for the Cave of Darkfear.
Chuck-y tags along with Poog, trying to find some mischief to get into
Chuffaluffagus, eager not to be last again, plunges his boil ridden face into the deepest, muddiest mud his giant head will allow, and with gusto, shakes the remnants off as he begins his search.
After a few tongue twists and head tilts he produces a plump pink worm! "Maybeez dis stuff willz mor infectz King Bubble," refering to the largest pustule on his face,"and makes him mor biggerz!"
Feeling emboldened, Chuffbro gives it another go, just to show up for his last poor performance...
This time, he is unable to fins a worm, and only succeeds in swallowing copious amounts of sludge!
Enjoying the first feelings of nausea setting in, Chuffmeister goes again:
but again, he is met with nothing but mud (and an overactive gag reflex)!
With 2 mouthfuls of mud dancing in his gullet, the whelp, less enthusiastically, gulps up another mouthful of ooze.
This time he immediately feels the wriggly activity of a large nematode and is able to remove it without harm! That's two for the Chuffinator!
Feeling like he has one more in him, His Chuffness tries again.
This time, his last time is met by only mud, but he is able to spit out a shiny onyx stone before swallowing the mouthful of offal and promptly vomiting everywhere!
The ever-sticky Chuffmeister, habitually late to the game, stumbles up to the brazier to grab his hot stone. Without missing a beat, he pops it in...
... but what happens after is less than impressive
He steadies himself for a second go...
"Ploughin' Sh!teb@lls, dem rocksiz iz hot! Likez how my pee burnz after a night with Moog's ma!!" "Wah? too soonz Moogz?""
"Amateurezs..." Chuffy exhales broodingly. The whelp Chuffy knows that everygoblin loves to see the misfortune of another, and nothing is more misfortunate than somegoblin's whelp-making bits getting smashed... so the Chufster uses some puss from his face sores to stick his cicada shell onto his crotch area. He then runs up to the Licktoad Chief yelling, "Helpzis, Helpzis... a bugz is on my whelpmaker! Killz it wit yous foots!"
"Kicks it againz!" hoping that the additional crunching sound will add to the clan's enjoyment...
Weakly the whelp adds,"Almosts deadz, one more timzes!"
"Sorizes Iz late... Iz had a HUGE zit to pop on my backizes!"
Sorry for the delay, Holiday weekend here in the states... This is a previous Chuffy so I may need to change his stats! Salute!
Chuffy loads the last of his magic flaming bolts and lets fly... Mwk Hand Crossbow Sneak Attack +1 flaming bolts
The Chufster slips off to his left and fires one of his magic fire bolts at he creature... Mwk Hand Crossbow Sneak Attack +1 flaming bolts
-Posted with Wayfinder
"Mesa no knowz howza use dis majik twig, but youzen can try!"
The Chuff-aluff-agus recocks, loads and fires again on the main vine,
The Chufster leaps back in a 5' step and fires his hand crossbow at the biggest vine he sees.
Chuffy tries to determine what the properties of the two scrolls, potion and wand.
He then turns his attention to furthering his growing pile of stuff....
Chuffy scurries up the tower and looks into the nest and promptly absconds the leather satchel as his own. -Posted with Wayfinder
Chuffed comes to his senses when he is struck by the Morningstar... Thankfully his armor did its job (for the most part). The rogue tries to repay the favor to the winged beast with a little stabbity stab stab.
-Posted with Wayfinder
-Posted with Wayfinder
"Letz us goez to the runiz... maybez deres mor shineyz der!" Chuffy points to the fallen silo.
"More trufflezez, more trufflezez! Weza gets more!" -Posted with Wayfinder
Weza shouldzn't stay to longzis here... The smells of burning fleshy willzes brought more troubles. Getz the goods and gozes back to camp, I sayz sayz I!
"Whatz sayz weza drinkum tis here-n-now... weza deserves a little woozie-juice!~" Chuffy says , hoisting a jug of mead.
Chuffy takes aim at the last bandit, dancing with the pig and lets a bolt fly... but damn near shoots himself in the foot!
Chuffy will charge forward, re-cocking and loading his crossbow and fires at the still smoking red bandit...
Chuffy wastes no time recocking and loading his crossbow, taking aim at the bamdit dressed in Blue. Mwk Hand Crossbow Sneak Attack -Posted with Wayfinder
-Posted with Wayfinder
The Chufster readies his hand crossbow and takes steady aim, and when Rita launches her first arrow, Chuff fires at the last dog.
|