Grundmoch

Cheel Vorastrix's page

73 posts. Alias of Orthos.


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Scintillae wrote:

I'm preparing a kobold warren for 5e night this weekend.

** spoiler omitted **

More ideas and alignment shifts are welcome!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Spoiler:
Narrow strip-shaped pressure plates that stretch across an entire hall, tied to vents in the ceiling that dump water to put out torches. Make the water septic if you want to add disease saves to the mix.

Rube Goldberg-esque triggers that rattle stones through narrow channels in the walls. No real direct damage, but the constant noise and echoes created can give the impression of an incoming large trap, disguise the movement of kobold troops into positions, or muffle the source of murder-hole arrows or other trap effects. Or just make the PCs paranoid.

Rubble or trash chutes at regular locations, easily tripped by kobolds in the area pulling on strings or slapping pressure points on the walls. Dumps stones or debris or junk behind them, possibly striking a PC in the fall area and certainly blocking the way for pursuit and slowing PCs down.

Concealed floor vents/trapdoors containing captured creatures - tamed or summoned - openable from the other side of murder-holes or spy tunnels, allowing monsters to pop out from unexpected locations, possibly right into the middle of the PC party.

Soft floors that survive kobold passage, but anything heavier will collapse under the players' feet, dropping them into something nasty - bug hives (ant and spider swarms are good starts), filthy water, pointed rocks, rusty spikes, good old pit trap, some monster's den, some monster's mouth, etc. etc. etc.

Oozes. Put appropriate oozes concealed everywhere. Firey oozes in flammable liquids. Metallic oozes hidden in treasure. Dark oozes hidden in rocks and rubble. Have kobolds show up carrying bits of rock salt for seemingly no reason - it's how they keep the things manageably sized. And if the PCs can figure that out, it might give them a nice little bonus. But don't make it obvious. ;) Slimes and molds can work in this niche as well.

Kobold War Roomba. A tiny construct made of scrap metal, driftwood, twine, spiderweb, and sheer kobold tenacity. It rumbles along silently, poking anything it encounters with the bits of pointy, rusty metal sticking off every surface, and scoops up any pieces of debris, stone, trash, etc. it encounters and launches it at invading PCs with a miniature catapult (treat as a sling or crossbow?).

Skunk-in-a-trunk. I mean, need I say more?

Fool's Gold. Kobolds leave out a pile of junk disguised as precious gems, loose coin, bits of raw ore or precious metal, or other items. Heck, have a shaman cast Nystul's Magic Aura (I presume this still exists in 5e, I hope?) on some of it to make it detect as magical. Then either use the pile of "loot" as bait, or hide something nasty inside it.

False Dragon. Kobolds carve out a section of tunnel or stone to resemble a dragon. Blowing through a bullhorn to make it roar, using alchemist's fire or similar items/spells to produce its breath weapon, using long poles ending in rakes or barbs or bear traps to simulate claws and/or bites.

Lodestones embedded in walls. In close quarters, metal objects - weapons and armor especially - get pulled towards the walls by the magnetism, possibly imposing a penalty on attacks and/or AC.

I'm sure I'll think of more later. >:D


NobodysHome wrote:
Frostwillow wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

(1) We have passed inspection, and are officially DONE upgrading to solar! Woot!

(2) A corporate flier arrived in my Inbox today: "Understanding your electricity bill and how to reduce it."

Throwing it out felt SOOOOOOOO good...

Now is the time to put my plan to steal the sun into action

THE ECLIPSE IS HERE! THE ECLIPSE IS HERE!

Cheel! Find Vien! You guys gotta do the Fimbul-ritual thing! IT'S HAPPENING!

I now hate you all.

The rain moved in today.
Saturday: 36.44 kWh produced
Sunday: 33.78 kWh produced
Monday: 31.77 kWh produced
Tuesday: 23.21 kWh produced
Wednesday (today): 4.55 kWh produced

I blame FaWtL.

*wheezy snickering*


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Drejk wrote:
The King Eternal In Green
Quote:
The only way to keep him dead is to prevent the spring from occurring

Workink on it!


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Scintillae wrote:

I would make a ton of knock-off, barely functional if at all, copies of the gauntlet and stones and scatter them around the universe in death-traps to bait people. I would then set up a system of cameras and create infinite popcorn...and wait.

What's wrong with being an irresponsible supervillain? If I wanted to be responsible, I'd be a hero.

Zhere is NOHZHINK wronk wizh watzchink your enemiez ztumble through zhe vhonderful gauntlet of trapz undhk defenzhez you hafh laid out vhor zhem and gainink muzch entertainment vhrom zheir zhufferink. It iz zhe practikal vhay to deal vhiv vhone'z voes.


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Scintillae wrote:
...then there was the attempt to enter the kitchen.

<approving nod>


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At leezt people know vhat we are. Koboldz are world reknown for our trapz and our ztrategiez. Yhu, vhatever yhu are, whu rememberz yhur kind at all? Yhur exploitz? Yhur culture? Yhur ztrategiez? Vhat even are yhu? Zome zhing vhif yhur brainz zhowing. It haz probably moztly rotted by now.


Rysky wrote:
Wylliam Harrison wrote:

Ahem.....back to the question.

Rysky, what do you consider the most devious trap imaginable?
One of my personal faves is a heavily locked and trapped door... with a wall on the other side. So much tantalizing curiosity... all for naught.

*takes notes*


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Abraham spalding wrote:
Cheel Vorastrix wrote:
Abraham spalding wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Wait! Avatars? They're developing sentience! Wait, we have to try to reason with them!

That camouflage is so cunning! They're invading our anti-SPAM thread! Kill the fake Kobold Cleaver! Crush him like you'd crush the rea-... oh. Oh, wait. No, that's the real one. Nevermind. Uh, I mean, you know, just... just let this one be. Yes.

*pets KC awkwardly*

Do you want kobolds Tacticslion? Because this is how you get kobolds!
Do yhu hav a ... problem with koboldz?

Only in so much as they exist.

Now will you keep standing exactly where you are? Thanks, I have a sudden compelling reason to be 500 meter away that in no way should raise your suspicions...

*forcecage*

Yeah, nize try. Yhu don't get to be zhe chieftain wizhout learning to be zuzpizciouz. Let'z zee juzt why yhu are zo eager to be elzewhere.

*flies away to safe vantage point*


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Abraham spalding wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Wait! Avatars? They're developing sentience! Wait, we have to try to reason with them!

That camouflage is so cunning! They're invading our anti-SPAM thread! Kill the fake Kobold Cleaver! Crush him like you'd crush the rea-... oh. Oh, wait. No, that's the real one. Nevermind. Uh, I mean, you know, just... just let this one be. Yes.

*pets KC awkwardly*

Do you want kobolds Tacticslion? Because this is how you get kobolds!

Do yhu hav a ... problem with koboldz?


Mwahahah! Zuffer zhe cold, leetle goblin. We zhall zee if zhiz idea iz az guud az you zhink it is.


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Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:
Tels wrote:
How does one kill a Goblin forever? Force it to become a Wizard with Sacred Geometry.
You polymorph the goblin into a kobold; the gob will die naturally of embarrassment.

Of courze it will. Zhe goblin will zhink, "I could hav been ziz all my life! What cruel twizt of fate zhat I was inzted trapped in zhe putrid dizkuztink ztupid brain and body of zhe goblin all my life! Curzed godz, what did I do to dezerve zhat fate?!" And zhe overwhelmink rapture of zhiz revelazion will be too much for hiz leetle heart.

Zhat is okay, though. We hav clericz for zhiz.

I blame Cozmo zhat zhe goblinz zhink zhiz iz a bad zhing. Of courze, what do you exzpect when you have zhe entire raze zhinking wordz will eat your zoul?


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I am goink to turn ze northeazt into a znowglobe.


You'll never take me dead or alive!

*sets ALL the traps*


MagusJanus wrote:
Orthos wrote:
MagusJanus wrote:
Orthos wrote:
MagusJanus wrote:
Orthos wrote:
I'm just lucky I don't have much at all that will need moving when I do. No furniture; that's going to be an expense after a couple of months.

I'm sorry for the lack of furniture, and I hope you acquire some quickly for a good price!

Have you checked junk sales and such?

I have not yet, but I don't want to start poking around at too much stuff until I'm confirmed able to move. If I don't this month, I won't have any place to store stuff here.

My dad's offered to loan me an inflatable mattress for a bit when I do first move, and I have a desk being held by a friend for me, so that'll cover the basic necessities for a while. I can pick up what I can find/afford from there a bit at a time.

You need fire for cooking on.

You have no fire! :P

Just checked - all apartments come with fridge and stove standard ;)
Fire, check. Fridge, check. Bed, check. Writing place, check. Just needs a few traps and you're good to go ;)

You. You pazz. Very goot. >=)


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*raises casting hand* Yez, vhat if it IZ a kobold baby? I am very curiouz about zhis anzwer.


What'z wrong wizh a lettle cold?


Releaze zhe houndz! I mean zhe raptorz, yez!


Nope, I em juzt en uninvolved obzerver. I juzt know zheze zhings from experienze.


Heh heh heh heh. You zir are doomed.


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Hail zhe lowly mighty kobold zorcerer. Yu are zhe next of a vine breed. Ztand proud.


TOZ wrote:
Cheel Vorastrix wrote:
Zeen, no. Herd, yesz.
You can't herd rogues, they're like cats with less hygiene and more ADD issues.

Yu undereztimete zhe power of zhe [mind-effecting] zubtype.


MYTHIC TOZ wrote:
Cheel Vorastrix wrote:
WHO ZE HELL ZTOLE MY ROBES
Have you seen a rogue in full plate around? No?

Zeen, no. Herd, yesz.


♪ Die Die Die Die ♫
♫ Die Die Die Die ♪
♪ Die Die Die Die ♫
♫ Die Die Die ♪


WHO ZE HELL ZTOLE MY ROBES


Lamontius wrote:

aggggggghhhhh they are tucker's kobolds

ABORT MISSION, FREEHOLD DM
ABORT MISSION

KYAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


Rawr! wrote:
Also, I'm glad it's kobolds and not gnomes.

Yez, alwayz en impruvment.


Akzent? What akzent? I am zpeakink normally, it iz all of yu whu haz a funny akzent. Feh, mammalz!


Die, die, die, die; die, die, die, die....


*Dimension Door*

*fly away*

*scry on cagematch from lair*

Louzy ztinkink grabby-handid mammalz....


Demolition Jack wrote:
Cheel Vorastrix wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Cheel Vorastrix wrote:
*pushes random buttons on stolen prototype weather dominator*
Hey! Thats my job!
Look, zhe world'z a big place, and I'm juzt one kobold. There'z ruum for uz to be in on thiz Fimbulvinter zhing togezher.

Punts Kobold away from the weather domination machine

My turn!

Fly check vs DC 25: 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (18) + 31 = 49

*midair recover*

*casts Forcecage around DemoJack and the slaadified PtWD*

Yuu know, I waz goink to azk for the mazchine back, but after those zzzlaadi got their zlime all over it, I thenk yuu can ztay in there with it until it iz done becomink whatever it iz becomink. It will be entertainink to watzch and zee who winz thiz cage-fight, no?


Freehold DM wrote:
Cheel Vorastrix wrote:
*pushes random buttons on stolen prototype weather dominator*
Hey! Thats my job!

Look, zhe world'z a big place, and I'm juzt one kobold. There'z ruum for uz to be in on thiz Fimbulvinter zhing togezher.


*pushes random buttons on stolen prototype weather dominator*


Freehold DM wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Good luck AZ! Enjoy Texas =)
High temperature. No snow. High Humidity. No snow. Mosquitos. No snow. Boiled Crawfish. No snow. What's not to love?
I could do without the mosquitoes, but hey we have those here too in TN. (Thank God for mosquito hawks.)
True, but if that's the price I have to pay for no snow, I'll gladly do so.
I'll drink to that. *raises root beer*
fiddles with weather dominator

*steals prototype for his own nefarious uses*


Adam Daigle wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
crystal: ♫♪There no race like gnome for the holidays. ♫♪
Actually, I'm pretty sure she said hollandaise. :)

Mmmmmmmm....


Aberzombie wrote:
Patrick Curtin wrote:

*sigh*

Now a Winter Storm approaching? Go go ocean-effect warming!

Prays for rain

I will send wishes for warm weather your way, my friend.

Ztop ruining my vunderful cold!


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Boo! Boooooo! Filthy varmbloodz zucking up all my vunderful cold! Thiz iz why I have zo mutch trouble wit ze traveling and ze vacatzioning! Vhat iz zo wrong wit vanting to be able to travel and zee de world in relative comfort?!


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There'z notzhing quite like a good elf ztew after a long hard day. Especzially when zhe elf iz nize and lean and zhe onion is frezh....


Freehold DM wrote:
My vengeancesvengeancesvengeancesvengeance shall be measured in KELVIN! sets weather dominator to -273 Celsius

*sets out reclining beach chair and relaxes on the mountain slope*

Damn I love cold immunity. Wonderful weather we're having today izn't it?


Sharoth wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
And, finally, GOOD MORNING FAWTLY Folk!!!! Happy Tuesday! It's gloomy in here in Philadelphia, but I hope the sun is shinning down on the rest of you!
Nope, thank God. Blessedly overcast predicted for all day, about a 50/50 chance of more rain. I could live without the rain, but what're you gonna do. Supposed to be in the 70s all week, nice jacket weather; a day of accursed sunshine would ruin that.

Worry not, Brother Orthos. Winter is coming.

gets Cobra(tm) Weather Dominator from the basement, sets it for "Snowpocalypse", aims it in the direction of Pennsylvania

No, no, no. It's as cool as I'd like it to be right now. No colder.

Okay, maybe ten degrees or so colder. But no more than that.

~casts summon Ice Age~

*saunters out into the cold*

I may hate the cold but I have characters who love it too much...


It'z about damn time!!

AWESOME.


I don't want to rule ze world. I juzt want to have a vacazion and not have to worry about ze weather being too warm for my taztes. I don't zee what ze big deal iz, but apparently ze people have a problem wit zis! What iz wrong with a bit more cold?!


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Haladir wrote:
"They're just kobolds."

Mreeheeheeheeheeheeheehee....


Turin the Mad wrote:

DOWN WITH THE COMMIE [expletive deleted] GNOMES OF ZURICH IN THEIR SWISS VAULTS!! Or are they Socialist? Who [expletive deleted] cares! THEY'RE SWISS GNOMES!! I know ... we'll round up the little [expletive deleted] buggers, cook them in boiling Swiss [expletive deleted] chocolate FEET FIRST before cracking open their skulls like Southeast Asian monkeys!

... did someone say brains? *drools* *wipes mouth*

'scuse me while I get my cookbook and knives ...

Zoundz delizciouz! Leit me geit my plate.


James Martin wrote:
James Jacobs wrote:

We are aware of kobolds. We also quite like kobolds.

Make of that what you will!

Whoo hoo! You publish it, I will buy it!

Eeeeeeeexcellent!


Too much awezome crammed into too tiny zpace. You zaid he did not want to break ze game!


Treppa wrote:
I thought we were the only group in history to go, "Oh no! Kobolds! Run!"

Kyah hah hah hah hah hah! Our influenzce iz zpreading!


Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Lets just say I've never seen people be so afraid of Kobolds before mwahahahahahahahaha.

You got a zmart group. Lucky you. Don't get zoft on them.


Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Kain Darkwind wrote:

Even if I avoid the bacon.

I just resisted the urge to make a jab here. Mostly because I myself am a vegetarian. :D
Thats Just because you haven't been able to kill a single gnome. Your just a bad kobold.

Yez, terrible. We are very dizzapointed.


Aberzombie wrote:
Sharoth wrote:
That +2 to mining is doing you a lot of good, isn't it?
Meh, Dwarves are better miners, AND they don't run in fear from adventurers or gnomes.

*activates every trap in the armory and releases the hellhounds*

Who iz running NAOW?


Lord Fyre wrote:
Cheel Vorastrix wrote:
Summon Blizzard over thread.

W.o.W!

El Diablo, You are summoning Blizzard!

What can I say? I'm Evil. Lawful Evil to be precise. Kyahahahahahahah!

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