Bjor Blutschnauze's page

well then, thx for the game Oykiv ;)

was a bit crawl-heavy but fun group to crawl with!

Bjor stars at the exchange with a slight grin.
"Well then, off to the next bar! We need to try the local brews while still here. Then this abomishable heat will not have been for naught!"

Just imagine Seoni's fate if there was no convenience cleric popping up suddenly ;)

"Now you are finally truly dead!" Bjor shouts at the pharao's remains, and spits into where his face once was. Then, when Seoni suddenly falls down, he is quick to help her up again while Kyra heals her.

"That was an unexpected meeting. I didn't think the man would be walking his grave. But he shall never rise again from the sands."

He makes sure to take the portable valueables and wrap them in some cloth, for him and Abaal to carry out easily.
"We should leave the big stuff intact, Society will appreciate it." he says, pointing at the sarcophagus. "I shall write a detailed account of this venture, including every bit of putrid arrogance the dead king threw at us. Might need help remembering those part though - rage overtook my senses for a moment there."

The heat under the Osirian sun turns Bjor into a sweating mess once again, making him look not much better than Seoni.
"Don't worry bout the drink - we shall have plenty."

Seeing his rapid attacks do nothing, Bjor lets fall the axe and returns to the tactic that already worked against the strange moving pyramid.
"GHHH!" he shouts while smashing his shield on the mummy's head.

Power Attack: 1d20 + 6 - 1 ⇒ (19) + 6 - 1 = 24 -> Damage: 1d6 + 5 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 5 + 3 = 11

"GRAAAH!" Having been unable to hit the mummy even once, Bjor succumbs to pure rage, continuing his useless assault.

Power Attack TWF Shield: 1d20 + 4 - 1 ⇒ (10) + 4 - 1 = 13 -> damage: 1d6 + 4 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 4 + 2 = 12
Power Attack TWF Axe: 1d20 + 3 - 1 ⇒ (4) + 3 - 1 = 6 -> damage: 1d6 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 + 1 = 6

That's what I call Wayang justice!

with a hammer

Seeing his comrades are about to get butchered, Bjor rushes after the pharaoh and into him with his shield, letting his axe fall in the process to give more leverage to the strike. This worked on the pyramid, and he couldn't possibly be harder than that thing!

Power Attack TWF: 1d20 + 6 - 1 ⇒ (5) + 6 - 1 = 10 -> Damage: 1d6 + 5 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 5 + 3 = 9

My dice were cursed by the pharaoh!

Bjor moves into flanking position with Kyra during a moment of clarity, then continues his mindless barrage of blows unto the pharao.

Power Attack TWF Shield: 1d20 + 4 - 1 + 2 ⇒ (9) + 4 - 1 + 2 = 14 -> Damage: 1d6 + 4 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 4 + 2 = 7
Power Attack TWF Axe: 1d20 + 3 - 1 ⇒ (6) + 3 - 1 = 8 -> Damage: 1d6 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 + 1 = 3

After smacking his shield in the general direction of rotten meat and bandages, he retreats slightly, covering Kyshkumen with his body and sturdy viking wood.

Using Shield Bearer trait: Kyshkumen gets +2 to AC until next round as long as he stays adjacent to Bjor.
Also, this was not supposed to sound as dirty as it did.

Fortitude: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (17) + 5 = 22

"I will smash your skull, old king!" Bjor shouts towards the mummy, spitting square in its face. He unleashes a barrage of strikes with his axe and slams his shield against it.

Shield Slam Power Attack TWF: 1d20 + 6 - 2 - 1 ⇒ (10) + 6 - 2 - 1 = 13 -> Damage: 1d6 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 3 + 2 = 10
Handaxe Power Attack TWF: 1d20 + 5 - 2 - 1 ⇒ (1) + 5 - 2 - 1 = 3 -> Damage: 1d6 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 + 1 = 7

Somehow I fear poor Bjor will bite it with his loud mouth

Bjor shouts the pharaoh with all his strength, thus not having enough to swing his axe effectively.

That sums it up beautifully :)

Finally, recovering from the stiffness of his bones, Bjor is able to unleash his rage. He watched it all in horror as the arrogant thing went to skewer his companions. He watched it all and hated his very body for this moment of weakness.

"BE SCOURGED! BE FLAYED! BE CRUSHED! YOU AND YOUR PET!" he shouts with all the might his lungs can muster, with pure fury radiating from his hard gaze.
His legs spring to action with these words, with enough power to rip weaker limbs into pieces. He swings his axe in a wide arc, rushing against the undead monstrosity before him, though anger sadly ruins his aim.

Power Attack Axe: 1d20 + 5 - 1 ⇒ (3) + 5 - 1 = 7 - > Damage: 1d6 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 3 + 2 = 9

I suppose this might not be the best time to play a cleric for the first time huh? ^^

Yes, clearly the wrong group to ask for some worshipping. Would have gotten a dagger to the chest anyway ;)

somehow this smells like tpk - with all the paralyze. Let's hope Zanu doesn't eat another 16 dmg :/

Btw where did ninja-Kyra run off to? ;)

"You should have died long ago, old king!" Bjor shouts towards the mummy with rage building in his veins while putting speed into his steps to come near the monstrosity, but his burning confidence is extinguished once he comes near enough to feel its unholy aura. This place is cursed!
Intimidate: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (13) + 5 = 18

Will: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 1 = 12
Paralysis: 1d4 ⇒ 4

Well, I'm gonna grab some tea. Have fun ;)

I wonder why Bjor stands so far back as well. He was doing much of the talking face-to-face with the mummy. ;)

Bjor looks at Seoni with a mixture of surprise and respect, a slight grin on his face.

"She speaks true. You were a mighty king once, who may have thought of him as a god. But this time is long past and your servants have crumbled to dust, your name forgotten by most - only a whisper in the wind.
I may you respect, old King, but I will not bow before you. You who is tangled in webs of arrogance and hate, you who sold his soul for dust."
Bjor bows his head once again, ready for battle.

I think a stanton would fit better to Bjor's ruggy demeanor.

Obviously Bjor does not have a hat. I meant to write "bow of his head" ^^

"Bjor Horlison, called Bloodsnout. We are here to see your wonders, as the world had forgotten them." Bjor says with a slight bow of his hat and strikes his shiled gently with his axe - a respectful greeting fitting for a king.

Bjor halts his steps when he hears Seoni's voice. He patiently listens and then looks her deep in the eyes.
"Hmpf. Ancient wine sounds good to me. Let's just hope it didn't spoil and lives up to its age." he then follows her to the secret corridor, ignoring Kyshkumen completely.

"I have signed up for the company of madmen. They may have been undead horrors, but at least they were decent and hospitable people." Bjor says grimly, once the truth is revealed, then just walks out of the room, towards the next entrance they had not yet opened, muttering Ulfen curses along the way.

"What did I hear, Pathfinder are murder-hobos? Nah that must surely be a lie. I think that you will find this deal most ... what? why are you drawing your daggers?! Noooooo!" *splosh*

No attack of opportunity from Bjor - he is too flabbergasted ;)
Pretty much doing nothing in the first turn.

"Well, sticking a dagger in your chest seemed like good idea at the time."
That kind of explanation? ^^

I fear Bjor didn't had the opportunity to get the save yet - he didn't really interact with them - though he shortly will, using his shield.

Should they not respond normaly to daggers in their chest (namely dying), I suppose that's enough to question the situation.
Will: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3
But not enough to actually see through this.
Also: Propably a high chance of them being immune to crits btw ;)

"WHAT IN THE HEAVENS?!" Bjor shouts towards the masked man - to taken aback by his sudden attack to do anything but stare.

He has a reason.

Did you just attack the immortal pharao brides whitout a reason?
Interesting

"That is quite the overreaction I think. Wine is wine." Bjor looks at Abaal as if he was insane.

Bjor is actually starteld when that question emerges from the shadows, he managed to forget the man was sneaking around in all this confusion.

"I suggest uhm .. we should talk this over first." He motions to the door and walks out slowly, with a glance to his companions - but not letting the two strange women out of his gaze.

"Hm." Bjor doesn't trust these two at all, one can tell that easily. His whole body is on guard, and he is ready to strike them down mercilessly should they prove to be more than mere immortal wives waiting for their husband.

"Do you mind us walking around in here? It's your home after all"

"So uhm ... Why are you just sitting around in this tomb?" Bjor asks, apparently slightly overchallanged with the situation.
But something seems odd. He scratches his head, wondering why the two women would just wait for thousands of years. Then his face brightens up slightly as he seems to have realized something.

"You don't look like 7500 years old, and you don't look like elves either. What is the deal here?"

"I don't buy this. You are fake aren't you?" Bjor say, weapons still drawn.
"But if you are not, call me Bjor." He remains stanging and vigiliant.

I don't trust this scenario one 5 ft. step

"Aye, let's crush whatever awaits!" he has taken a liking to destroying old bones and furniture apparently, and while not quite battle-mad, one might describe his gaze as full of fury.

Bjor catches himself after almost falling over in his charge, while all around him the skeletons get pounded into dust. A viking can't let others get all the heads!
He moves quickly towards the only adversary left standing, going for a flanking position even when this means exposure. Once there, he mercilessly brings his shield's edge down on it.
Power Attack: 1d20 + 6 - 1 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 6 - 1 + 2 = 20 -> Damage: 1d4 + 5 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 5 + 3 = 12 Just realized I need to treat the shield as a non-spiked one for it to deal bludgeoning damage

Oh my, one man down.

Bjor lets his axe fall down to the ground, apparently returning to the well-worn tactic of "pounding things into the ground with his shield".
He takes it into a firm grip and rushes forwards against one of the skeletons engaging his small weird friend, but a pebble lies in his way and he almost falls over, which throws his well-aimed blow off and looks rather embarrassing.

Power Attack Charge: 1d20 + 6 + 2 - 1 ⇒ (1) + 6 + 2 - 1 = 8 -> Damage: 1d6 + 5 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 5 + 3 = 9

Indeed, should be 1d6, unless I'm missing something

"Aye, clubs or shields. Hope it doesn't burn up, was an expensive one."

Can't see the map without logging in :/
I don't have a google account, so that's a problem.

"Aye, we should!"and with that, Bjor opens the doors.

No need to wait for Bjor, he is pretty useless against swarms right now, but he will ready a reposition maneuver to drag Seoni out of the swarm should it attack her

"Eh, those are too tiny. Hoped for something bigger, I leave them to you."

Bjor has not encountered the dreaded SWARM! - therefore no splash weapons ;)

"Well better deal with it now, than when it follows and strikes our backs."

Bjor readies his weapons if the others all agrre, then finaly kicks the boat to stir what lives within.

"Eh? Name doesn't ring. Must have been from a land far away." Bjor says with a shrug.

"Hm..." Bjor murmurs as he enters the room."Let's be sure huh?"

With that he kicks one of the boats, lightly tapping it at first, then puttong more force - but making sure not to destroy the antiques should they be real.

"Indeed, let's see what old corpses or strange energies await there." Bjor says, and walks down the corridor shield ready for whatever dwells inside.

Bjor follows quietly, apparently having enough of this pyramid.

I won't be able to post until sunday night.

Before Bjor even realized what was happening, Abaal has already dealt with the threat in a quite impressive way. He look a bit stupified at his companion.
"Mighty blade, friend. Does it have a name worthy of its' deeds yet?" he asks him with respect in his voice.

I lost any orientation a while ago, and I suppose Bjor would have as well - he is pretty much in "search nearest closed door, proceed to open" mode ;) He will go wherever you send him.

Stuff happens, people wait. no big deal ;)

There´s no poison in the surroundings.

Well, that's quite soothing. Does that mean every room from now on is full of it?

"Bugger me, nothing but fancy stone." Bjor looks slightly disappointed and turns around to leave the room and venture forth to the next nearest destination unless somebody stops him