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"I pissed off the queen. Asked a few of the wrong questions. So she sent me here to ask questions. I ain't much of a bridge troll though. Still don't ask the right questions. Lets all kinds a' undesirable characters just wander over." the big brute said with a snaggle-toothed smirk. With his last question answered, the lanky man-thing simply turned and began to walk away down river.
"Dont know. Someone'll rebuild it eventually, an' you folks are gonna want t' go back soon. Can't stay on th' otherside forever. Yer pal there already used up his favor, so I don't owe ya a return trip. I feel bad fer ya, stuck on this side, but if ya try to rebuild the damn thing, we're gonna fight. Maybe I'll just wander. Try t' find somethin' t' eat that ain't rocks an' fish an' pinecones. If I ain't 'ere when ya try t' git back, I might not hafts kill ya."
The big brute's eyes practically cross and he looks at Haaken in bewilderment. "He always talk like that? Sheesh." Looking back to Thordan, he nods. "Y'know, normally I'd jus' Say 'no, I can't', an' that would be a good enough answer to satisfy the Wyrd, but Imma gon' do ya a favor since your friend here's a stand up guy. Baba Yaga. Yer lookin' fer Baba Yaga. An, yeah, I know who she is. Ain't never met her, and don't never want to, but I know who she is." "You want t' find her? Go to the Darkening Wood and find the Chicken-Leg Hut, and ask it t' turn it's back t' the trees an' it's front to you." "Some free advice though. Don't go lookin' for her. I ain't never hearda no one likin' what they find, or the price they pay for it."
So everyone but Haaken gets one question.
The big brute's eyebrows raise. For the first time since you have seen him, he seems surprised.
The bridge creaks and jostles under the blows, finally, slowly, ponderously buckling under it's own weight to crash into the river. The big man-thing watches intently. When the bridge hits the water, it just stares. Then swallows. Then takes a deep breath. Slowly a massive snuggle-toothed grin spreads across his face. He looks up at Haaken and nods to him. "I, ah... thanks. Don' know why ya did it, but I ain't gonna complain 'bout good fortune." He stands and looks around, as if he isn't sure what to do, then with a shrug starts to walk down river. A moment later he stops and turns. "I owe ya. One favor and three questions."
The big-blue man thing stares intently as the group crosses. Sense Motive DC 10:
He seems like he's waiting for something. Sense Motive DC 13:
He's staring at your feet and watching the bridge. Sense Motive DC 16:
He wants the bridge to break. Sense Motive DC 20:
he wants the bridge to break but he doesn't harbor any of you any particular ill will. Sense Motive DC 25: There is something about the bridge that he deeply despises.
The man-thing seems to ponder the answer, then shrugs. "Sure. Git outta here." Turning around to sit down on the bank the brute scratched his beard and yawned. "Take yer time though. Sun's nice."
"Don't get testy now. Humans. Always so damn dramatic about everythin'. So ya ate some kids? Big f%!&ing deal. You folk sure crank 'em out fast 'nough. It ain't like ya can't afford t' lose a few." Finally he looks around and points "Better go with somethin' easier 'n "who are you" fer th' last one. Don't want ya t' blow a vein." "What are ya doin' here?
Pointing to Thorgar he says "What are you?"
The big thing sighs and nods. "Let's git this over with." With a sullen and flat tone he says "Halt ye there travelers, whoever ye be. To cross me bridge ye'll answer these questions three." "Answer true an' ye cross. Be false an' be lost, the other side never to see." Looking at all of them, he glowers and thinks for a moment, then points to the water he is standing in. "What's that?"
The big man-thing gives Thorgar with a withering look that speaks volumes as to what he thinks about Thorgar's riddle, and his challenge. "You stupid humans an' yer damn stories. Always thinking ye c'n find some sorta loophole in the rules. Ya think we made 'em up? Ya think I live unner a dammed bridge 'cause I wanna? Tell yer friggin' harpy t' git her feathered arse back on the other side o' th' river so we c'n do this right b'fore I lose my patience. The big brute rolls his eyes and spits. "an, ya jus' ask either one what answer the other would give an' do th' opposite, ye bloomin twat."
Shaking his head at Thorgar, the man-thing seems a little tired and maybe a bit sad. "Can't leave my bridge. What if you lot cross and I'm not here to challenge you? That just... wouldn't be right, y'know?" The big brute laughs at Thordan's claims. "Bring 'em on, talky mouse! We'll see how many die b'fore I do!"
"I'm the fella who lives under this here bridge, an' I ain't about t' let some winged smart-ass cheat me outta my job!" the man-thing roars. "Now, you gonna git back on th' other side of the river so's we can do this right, or what?"
"Um.. lady? What?" the massive man-thing said, scratching it's head as it looked over it's shoulder. Looking back at Raven, the brute shook it's head and lowered it's brows. "You ain't gonna trick me, miss flappy-flap. I ain't no dummy. Everybody knows mice don't talk!"
Stretching her wings for the short flight felt good. She was just touching down when a gravely voice rumbled, Aye, now! That ain't no fair!" From beneath the bridge a massive form unfolded itself. It was man-like, but with long arms that hung nearly to it's knees and pale blue-white skin. A long, unkempt beard rolled down it's chest and it hunched, staring at the winged woman, standing barefoot ankle deep in the freezing water. It seemed impossible that such a creature could hide at all, let alone fit beneath a bridge that was practically smaller than it was. "You git back over there, an' try t' cross the bridge, proper like!"
"Matchin' Colors? Heh. No wonder yer screwin' it up."
Watching Joboo, Big Blue nods to himself. "Figgures that the smartest one of the bunch of ya would be the goblin."
"Depends on how long you lot decide to take. I've seen this take half a day."
"Well, I wasn't much amused before, but I sure as hell am now." Big Blue says with a shrug and a wave.
"I've told ya all I'm gonna tell ya. When you think you're done, put the idol on that mark there and ring the bell next to it. That's when the exercise ends. I can tell ya that you're being judged on a lot of factors though, not just speed." Big Blue laughs. "No pressure, eh?"
"Yeah, yeah. I pull double duty around here. Before ya ask, this is my primary job. Training gladiators only tends to happen once a year. By now everyone's either washed out, gotten the hang of it, or died, so I need more steady work." Big Blue looked everyone over and nodded to himself. "First things first, drop your gear over there. Classes work in increments, like circles. You got to learn to rely on things in the proper sequence. First you rely on yourself, then your allies, then your stuff." As the students piled their equipment against a wall, he continued. "The arena already proved you can rely on yourselves. Most of ya ain't so good at relying on others yet, so that's what we're going to concentrate on today." Walking over to the wall Big Blue tapped a series of symbols on a glass tablet. A circle in the floor opened. "This is The Pit." he said. "The goal is to get down to the bottom, get the idol from the pedestal, and get back up. This one's open ended. You'll be graded on time, but there's technically no limit. The only rules are no equipment..." he presses a final button and something subtle happens in the room, like it suddenly became pressurized. "...and no magic."
"Black means you fought. Grey means you fought well. Silver means you got noticed. Gold means you won."
Big Blue chuckled. "Bandy was half of the duo that held the doubles title for three seasons."
"Damn good job, all of you." the big blue ogre said as the fighters slowly lowered themselves into the hot baths. "I'd imagine that's gonna be it for some of you. No shame. You made it further than most. For those of you that want to stay, you've earned your name on the wall in the main training hall, a rack for your personals, and your own room. Oh, and the headmaster wants to meet with a few of you. That's a damn big deal, so don't blow it."
Round Update in 4-6 hours ...any time Karlov starts discussing physics I get a little worried.
I'm prone on a non moving sled with an armed goblin towering over me I'll take "How you know you're having a bad day" for 200.
Somewhere along the way there's been a rise in nitpicking and bickering. I want it to stop. I won't warn you, or call you out for doing it. You'll just be less likely to receive crowd favor and grey-area rulings might go against you. It's that simple. If you have fun and help other people have fun, you will be rewarded in small ways. If you make my job harder, I'll hit you with a flaming sled.
Round ends in apx. 2 hours!
No kidding. You people are insane.
Round 4 begins now
Round 3 Ends in 2 Hours
Everyone has the entire line of "Improved Combat Maneuver" feats as Virtual Feats. Don't worry about the +2 attack/cmd bonus, because, as Gwrrr pointed out, they cancel each other out and are irrelevant. That means Ryujin has a free monk feat.
Given that a few people still haven't acted and there's been some heavy discussion, I'm going to delay my round 2 wrap-up for a while to give people who haven't acted yet little more time.
Round 1 ends in 3 hours
Could be worse. Did you see what happened to Severus?
On the map you'll see Drive/Balance DC. Right now it's a 10. After round 1, the Driver sets the DC.
Down below in the Gladiator's Stables Big Blue had just gotten the fighters' attention. "Alright you slags, gather round. It's time. I've been all kinds of hard on you and I will be again, but for right now it's advice time. If there's one thing I've learned over the years it's that nobody becomes a champion on their own. This match is a team match. You've all seen the roster by now. Rely on each other. You're better together than you are apart. That's it. Back to business. The powers that be want this to be a surprise to you as well as to the crowd. The lot of you are going to be teleported into the ring. You have 5 more minutes."
Where the f!!& did that goblin go? I swear, if you slags don't get better at killing each other soon, I'm gonna kill the lot of you..."
Nice work folks. As many of you guessed, Lorth really stole the show on that one. I kept waiting for someone to trump him, but his first montage post remained king of the mountain. For your victory Lorth, you gain one Team Swap. You may pick any two characters on different teams and switch them when I announce the team rosters. You may not pick yourself, and Joboo is immune to this. (don't ask, reasons will be clear soon) Team list coming soon.
Training Montage Time! For the next two days I want to see bits and pieces. Slices of life. No need for real dialogue, just throw away lines that give us the gist of what you're feeling and why. Curse at people, describe how you're learning the bonus feats you've been given, form friendships and rivalries (pick someone to describe helping, or hurting. You don't need their permission). Think of this like an 80s fight movie power ballad training sequence. I just want the important pieces. The one of you who gives me the most fun bit to read will start with a small bonus in the upcoming match. imagine your post is just one bit in the montage, one of those short clips that show what you're going through over the next two weeks. Using "..." at the beginning and end of your post will make it seem like it's been lifted out of something longer and add to the feel of what I'm looking for. Feel free to add in something like an excerpt out of an interview with Bandy as well, where you're "talking to the camera" about who you are and what you're feeling. If you think of it like one of those shows where they overlay an interview with clips of someone training to give you an idea of who the athletes are, you'll get the idea.
Two week training montage coming tomorrow night after the submission deadline. Until then you guys get to RP.
"Tomorrow? Yeah, like you lot'll be ready for the arena tomorrow. The season doesn't open for two weeks. Until then you'll spend every waking moment with me. It ain't too late to leave..."
I've added a current match roster to Big Blue's avatar. Please take a look to make sure you're on the list. There are 16 slots for the first match. If we get more people before tomorrow night I'll be asking for volunteers from those of you playing two characters to have one of them sit the match out. Tomorrow night I'll announce the teams.
Big Blue gestured towards the table. "Go on. You earned it."
Looking back over his shoulder Big Blue stopped and watched, replying to the floating gnome. "Well, technically they aren't disobeying. All I said was to run until they puked or passed out. Guess the loser here will just get to do less running." Looking down at the dwarven newcomer he said "You're late. Don't ever be late again. Now run, and don't stop until your legs give out."
"What the?!" Big blue started moving as soon as Samson's sword started swinging, but he was still too late. Coming between the fighters, he grabbed Samson by the entire front of his body in one massive hand and lifted him off the ground. "What the f+@& do you think you're doing? I said and ! Maybe you missed the part where I came in and tossed 'em all at ya, but I you didn't miss it when I told you to put that damn blade away the first time. F$*+!" Continuing to hold Samson aloft, Big Blue looked around at the rest of the group. Sighing to himself he raised his other fist, clenched over his head, an intricate tattoo over his balled fist shined and pulsed sending waves of healing energies over the entire crowd. As people came to, he spoke through gritted teeth. "You slags are hopeless. Maybe two of you have the sense the gods gave a rock. This is over. No more fights. Apparently 'hit each other with sticks' is too complex for the lot of you. I got floating drow, gnomes that want to light folks on fire, monks swinging at camels, and this guy here who doesn't know a stick from a sword! And you lot want to be Gladiators? We already do comedy matches. Maybe you meant to sign up to be clowns? Ok. It's time to see how bad you really want it. Start running. All of you. You will run until you pass out or puke. You can't handle it, there's f#~@ing door." Tossing Samson to the ground, Big Blue, started to walk away, shaking his head in disgust. Spoiler:
Yep. Check the spoiler.
The blue ogre patiently and flatly ignored Zib as the gnome babbled next to him. Then suddenly, his hand lashed out, hitting Zib squarely in the chest with a thundering backhanded slap. As if nothing had happened, he walked toward the combatants. When Samson approached him and spoke, he raised an annoyed eyebrow and said "Oh, so now you're ready. Fine. Let's see what you've got. Join them." Spoiler:
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