Gallifrey |
This was an amazing shorter piece. I really enjoyed the darker path this one took us down, and while I have really enjoyed these stories week by week, this shortest tale may be the one that leave the biggest impact on me.
Just really impressed with this tale, I am looking forward to next week's story as always and I would really like to see more tales from this author.
Matthew Morris RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8 |
Kevin Andrew Murphy Contributor |
Matthew Morris RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8 |
Matthew Morris RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8 |
Very good. Probably my favourite so far (I keep saying that, but unless Kevin's got something real nice up his sleeve it might be a while 'til the next time).
Any idea if Cara's mentor was entirely human by the way?
This is going to sound weird coming from me, but I hope not. Or rather I hope she was of the PC race variety. I find that the darkest villians are best human (or elf, dwarf, halfling, etc.) It takes some of the sympathy out when it's 'a monster did this too her' and not other humans.
Zeugma |
I was not expecting that ending. I'm not really sure if I like it or not, since it's so bleak. I'm also curious how Cara killed all of those corpses by herself. She had her magic to assist her, of course, but it seems like an awful lot of people to just "go missing" (over a short period of time, since the corpses weren't completely skulls and bones yet) without their absence being noticed.
Psalmist |
Enjoyable read, in the fashion darker literature offers enjoyment. While reading I wasn't sure how I felt about the progression (my feelings vacillated as I went), but I can't say I was disinterested at any point so whatever was tripping me up didn't impede your ability to carry me along. The description you use throughout the text is wonderful, you have a talent for engendering the environment and evidencing the physical experiences surrounding your characters or (in this case) character. The ending was unsuspected, I didn't see it going that direction until just after he had finished Cara so bravo for a successful turnabout. Btw, the scene in which Rhyn inspects the innards of the gator and the transformation depiction were very well-crafted.
I would have liked to have seen a third chapter, I think. Not because it isn't complete as is and not because I wanted to see a happier conclusion... in fact, I sense the potential for greater tragedy in the life of this figure and I find myself unintentionally grasping after that final incarnation of his doom. The good thing is, if you have my brain spinning its wheels, that's something to applaud because it means you made the character personal in less space than most people utilize. Thanks for your contribution! Incidentally, I just purchased "The Bastards of Erebus", if I recall correctly you have work in there. I suppose this means I'll be meeting with your literature again very soon. I look forward to it. Take care and continue showing us worlds!