|baron arem heshvaun|
|Matthew Morris RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8|
|Adam Daigle Managing Developer|
|Paris Crenshaw Contributor|
I like it so far, but I'm curious as to how the author will end it in only one more installment, including the backstory of what happened to Cara and the 5 people who lost their hands. I really enjoy short stories, but the conciseness of micro-fiction is difficult to do well...That said, I trust Amber Scott to be able to do her story justice.
|Kevin Andrew Murphy Contributor|
I thought this bit suffered from the 'only two installments' element:
"Got no choice. I'm the one who keeps you all safe. Can't always wait for the right time to do that." Rhyn tossed the rope into the skiff and set his longsword on top of it.
"You got plenty of choice. You took up this job on your own and we were happy to let you, 'cause you're good at it. But you can stop whenever you want. You've paid your debts and then some." He paused. "It wasn't your fault."
Suddenly these taciturn men get all touchy-feely with each other, it all feels a bit modern and wrong to get some back-story/relationships out of the way.
From the tone of the rest of the tale I would have expected something like:
"Got no choice." Rhyn tossed the rope into the skiff and set his longsword on top of it.
"You got plenty of choice." He paused. "It wasn't your fault."
This is nit-picking though, a good story and I look forward to the next part.