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A cheer erupts from a tightly packed group of gnolls and yetis huddled around a vidscreen airing a recording of a brutaris match. The abrupt noise settles into a persistent murmur of backseat coaching and boasting before being disrupted once more by the piercing sound of a voice over the loudspeaker: “Break’s over in ten! If you tell me what happened before I get to watch it, I’ll eject you into space.”
The amplified voice belongs to Venture-Captain Kunoris Vex, who flashes a playful smile as he switches off the loudspeaker microphone. He leaves the workers to their break and leads the way to his personal office, a compact but tidy room with walls covered in annotated paper maps of the false moon’s vault networks. “Welcome! Nice to see a new batch of explorers. It’s been a while since the vaults opened up, and I was starting to worry Ehu might forget about us.” Vex traces a line on one of the maps, starting at a box labeled “lodge” before going through a short tunnel network to a circle of blue ink outside an unmarked vault. “This is where a ceiling hatch unlocked a couple days ago. We haven’t tried getting inside yet, and the signals coming from the outer computer interface were corrupted. Not encrypted like the rest of the signals we’ve intercepted from this place’s guiding intelligence, mind you. Corrupted. I had to restart my computer when I tried to run diagnostics because it kept opening duplicate windows.”
“We’re no closer to figuring out why this intelligence does what it does. This latest vault opening might be a fluke or by design. Either way, it’s a shot at some new intel. My assistant, Kashtee, can take you to the unlocked hatch. Your job is to explore the vault, take data on its residents, and try to ascertain its purpose. Every vault that our agents have entered so far has been some sort of simulated social experiment, whether historical, speculative, or just plain weird. I have no reason to think this one will be any different. Keep your wits about you, and play nice with whatever’s in there until you can get a read on things. Feel free to hit up the commissary before you leave if you need anything. Any questions for me?”
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Twilight is a hologram of one of the inhabitants of Equis, otherwise known as P0N-3. She is a unicorn that only comes up to a human's hips. She has large eyes, midnight blue fur and a black tail and mane. Some sort of arcane mark is on both sides of her rump.
She trots in, hops on a chair, and puts both front hooves on the Venture-Captain's desk. Sounds like a virus sir. Should I scrub your system for you?
And could you please explain about this place and the Vaults? I do not have any information in my database.
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A tall kasatha with a lean build. He is covered by a loose tan robe that bumps out over various pieces of gear. Skintight blue armor shows at his wrists and neck. Hairless grey skin can be seen on his hands and above the cloth that masks his lower face. Large eyes slowly sweep the room.
His demeanor is tranquil. His lower hands are clasped together in front of his torso. His upper left hand holds a ceremonial staff that he tips toward the venture captain.
"Thank you, sir, for this opportunity. I look forward to exploring the vault." He turns slightly and the tip of the staff describes a small arc toward the rest of the party. "I am Kadef Hins Socriat of Clan Parsem, House Zebulan. My comrades and friends call me Kadef for simplicity. I work in the diplomatic branch of the Society. I look forward to working with all of you on this mission."
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"Vaults?" A well-dressed ysoki repeats with a gleam in his eye. "As in treasure?" He inquires eagerly, absent-mindedly knocking one of the maps off the wall, before promptly scooping it up and slipping it into his coat.
Quickly becoming aware that he was not the only Starfinder summoned, the Starfinder takes a bow. "Greetings, I am Tuek."
As he returns upright, the recently-removed map floats out from behind his coat. He deftly snatches it up with his fingers, crinkling it into a ball before inserting it into one of his cheek pouches. "I am a kleptovoyant," he offers by way of explanation.
"Do you have any data on the residents that we might find in the vault? " he asks. "Physiology? Technology levels? Valuables?"
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And could you please explain about this place and the Vaults? I do not have any information in my database.
“Wow, you’re so green I almost mistook you for a khizar. But seriously, this is Salvation’s End, a false moon filled with countless vaults that runs inscrutable tests on the vaults’ inhabitants. We Starfinders have exclusive exploration rights to this place, but all we’ve found thus far is that some kind of guiding intelligence directs all the vault experiments. Still no luck making contact with it. Believe me, we’ve tried.”
"Do you have any data on the residents that we might find in the vault? " he asks. "Physiology? Technology levels? Valuables?"
“That’s the fun of it— there’s no telling what you’ll encounter. Whatever odd situation you walk into, you need to play along until you can gather more information or ascertain any threats. All I know is that the vault dwellers usually don’t know they’re in a simulation, so tread lightly and be ready for anything.”
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Kadef nods back to Faria, before replying to VC Vex. "I am ready to depart, sir."
Once on the way to the hatch, Kadef expresses satisfaction with the assignment. "I am seldom assigned to missions where my diplomatic skills might be of use. I look forward to meeting and working with the vault inhabitants."
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A nervous-looking halfling runs last-minute maintenance checks on a squat humanoid robot--for the third time.
"Think I played a vidgame like this. Uh, hi! Hi. I'm Kaleb, but call me Chip. This is Checker, but just to be clear here Checker isn't a true AI." He knocks on the robot's chest; it does not respond. "It's just a drone, not my particularly shy SRO roommate or anything. I'd rather not have to rebuild it, but ultimately it's just equipment--if it gets blown up instead of one of us, it'll have served its purpose. I'm, uh, tech support!"
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Vex’s gnoll assistant Kashtee loads you into a hovercraft and whisks them down a tunnel of interlocking metal pipes, wires, and screens. She stops at a dead end where a foot-wide screen flashes and repeatedly runs the same processing code. She reaches up to a ceiling cover fitted with a twist‑open handle, and cranks it until it swings open, revealing a narrow vent with a metal ladder set into the side. After climbing the ladder you reach an intersection with two accessible portals: the one they climbed through and a maintenance corridor with its door stuck open. The open corridor ends in short stairway that leads up to a hatch emitting muffled music from the other side.
A three-bulb brass chandelier illuminates the room beyond the hatch, its light amplifying the tint of the yellow checkered wallpaper covering the walls. The room features several pieces of faux wood furniture: bookcases haphazardly packed with comic compilations, board games, and sports almanacs; a desk strewn with sketches of roof shingle designs and an incomplete jigsaw puzzle; a workbench displaying action figures surrounded by painting and craft supplies. The sound of an a cappella choir singing a retro, up-tempo tune emanates from a corridor opposite the entrance.
Everything about this room aligns with modern Pact Worlds-level technological amenities. Shortly after you enter, a human wearing a short-sleeved collared shirt, pastel shorts, and white socks with sandals enters the room from the opposite entryway, sipping a mug of tea. They startle when they spot you, spilling their tea in surprise, but then enthusiastically greet their visitors.
“Well hey, strangers! I wasn’t expecting company in the basement today. I’m guessing you’re here to sell me something? Since you came in through the cellar door, am I right?” The human cracks a wide smile, then calls over their shoulder. “Hey, roomie! We got visitors in the basement, came up from the hallway past the hatch! They must be a new batch. Bring some more tea, would ya? I’m guessing they’re all thirs-tea!”
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Twilight groaned. This is going to be one of those missions.
Thirs-tee would be right .. yes. So ... are you guys the chat-tea type? And is it mint-tea? But yes. We are a part-tea of adventurers wanting to find our more about your ... erm ... quali-tea of life.
Yes, the gauntlet has been dropped. Twilight is determined to out pun these people.
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"I'm Roofer Joro, a roofer by profession. By batch I meant clones of course! Clones like us all are. If you enjoy jigsaw puzzles and singing in choir, you will certainly love our community." As he speaks his roommate, who appears identical to Roofer Joro, except wearing a light blue blouse spotted with yellow flowers and sleek, khaki pants, steps in. "Hello newcomers! My name is Baker Joro. Nice meeting ya. Its possible, though not common, to meet new folks coming in through basement."
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Kadef inclines his head. "Roofer Joro, Baker Joro, it is an honor and pleasure to meet you. And tea would be most welcome. We have much to learn about the world here. When did the last batch of clones arrive? Do they just appear at random, or is there a primary location and timing for their arrival. "
Kadef sees no reason a to disabuse the Joros of the notion that the party members are clones. And obviously he has little sense of humor during the serious business of first contact.
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Don't you mean. Eterni-TEA?
Twilight refuses to let a good pun go unnoticed and is actually surprised the Joro didn't go for it.
"Hah! You started *Horsing* around right away. You seem like funny person. Joro laughs
When you go upstairs and leave the house, you see an entire suburban neighborhood populated by copies of the same human distinguishable only by surface-level differences in hair and clothing. All the homes, stores, advertisements, and other details share the same aesthetics, tacky fashion, positive attitudes, and corny humor. The entire neighborhood appears like a utopia for this singular personality: food markets and restaurants all feature overtly healthy offerings, sports coverage of whizdisk dominates the media, jigsaw puzzle motifs decorate all the windows and many business signs, and most domestic drones look like cartoony whizdisk team mascots.
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"Okay, they are all clones of the same person. So why don't they think we're weird? And we were told not to talk to the residents about the nature of the place, but they obviously know they're clones... Different occupations, but the same interests... I kind of feel like that's even stranger then the other way around. They didn't seem surprised that we were adults, either." Chip looks at the cartoony drones. "I'd say they might think Twilight is a drone, but Joro talked to her."
Chip looks around to see if he can see any children, or really any age variance at all.
"Game library?" he offers. "I don't think I see any particular reason to investigate any location first, but it's at the top of the list. Also I made a list. It's alphabetized."
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This wooden building functions as a public library, except that instead of books, the Joros share board games, card games, puzzles, and similar hobbies. The aisles are quiet to allow for concentration, but conversations commonly occur in the central area, where Joros staff play games and discuss strategies. The community is abuzz about the upcoming imperial conquest match between Gamemaster Joro and Assistant Editor Joro that will decide if the latter can dethrone the former and earn the title of Gamemaster.
"Hi newcomers! Our board is in session, would you like to join our game?" joros seated for game enthusiastically greet you
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Walking through Joro-land, Kadef thinks about the curious speech patterns of Joros and how
Kadef rests his staff in the crook of one elbow so that he can clasp all his hands and bow respectfully. "Thank you. I know nothing of these games. Perhaps you could explain a simple one to me."
As a good guest Kadef is willing to try a game, but knows his limitations and won't try imperial conquest.
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Now that's more like it. Twilight remarks. Not only does a good pun have to be funny, but it also needs to be in context, such as the one Tuek just came up with.
So, let's go there and hope that we don't make a sour note with them. ... nah, that one's not very good. On a scale of one to ten, that's so flat I'll call it a zero