
Your Benevolent Dictator |

The weird goblin takes a long time to process Swaggy's rhymes. It's pretty clear that he's significantly dumber than you. Must be from a different tribe. Everyone knows Licktoads are best and smartest tribe. That's what Chief Gutwad says, and therefore it must be true.
"Koruvus is best servant, yes. Queen Mother make guard dead moving things in holes. Many things means Koruvus is im-por-tant-est of all. Can't have Koruvus hands. Needs for to hold alla sharp things."

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

Swaggy looks around to his friends to see if anything the guy said made even some remote kind of sense to them. "'Queen Mother make guard dead moving things in holes...?' Swaggy doesn't understand. What do you mean, gobbo friend? Who is Queen Mother and where can we go if we want to move with her flow?"

Batry Big Ears |

Batry just nods at the odd goblin. "It's clear Koruvus is Queen Mother's best servant. You do good work with the many things. I could not do so good a job."
He then starts looking at nearby hallways. "Are there more her working for Queen Mother?

Your Benevolent Dictator |

Koruvus giggles. "Queen Mother is small but mighty! Has wings and dress and horns and fancy crown. Has many servants! Big mouth beasts come from glowy water, and living dead things wait in holes for trap. Is smartest!"
For clarification, this room has a bunch of zombie-filled pits in the floor. Their locations are marked on the map, as there's been no attempt made to hide them. As long as you don't stand on them, you're in no danger.

Chambawamba |

'Wamba stares at the crazy goblin, and it slowly dawns on her that this 'Queen Mother' about which he is talking lots and lots might be the bat-woman they encountered earlier. "What if... if shomething were to happen to thish Queen Mother? An accshident, or..." She belches unapologetically and shrugs. "Shomething that couldn't be helped, I guessh. Would you, would you hafta find a new mish-- a new mishtif-- a new mishTRESSH?" She beams as she gets to the end of this thought. "Shomeone like me?" she suggests happily and with a big smile, showing her pointy teeth and releasing the smell of very strong drink.

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

With a more clear description, it does suddenly dawn on Swaggy that they very well might have just killed this mistress.
Oops, as Longshankses said!
"Okay... well, you do you! As for us, we'll just be passing through. Go and make Mother proud, just don't be too loud. Lots of shankses tall above ground and all!"
He looks somewhat worriedly at Chamba's drunk state, and, fearful she might give too much away, he approaches her and, ignoring the strange burning sensation in his stomach, attempts to drag the much prettier goblin out of the room!

Batry Big Ears |

"Right you be! Now we will leave you to your important work. Maybe we see you later."
He then heads towards the southern exit, trying to drag the others with him.
Batry will head for B11, though preferably not alone.

Chambawamba |

'Wamba allows herself to be dragged from the room, and her giggles afterward demonstrate that she was aware of what she was doing but didn't think the goblin was going to be much of a challenge if he decided to attack them. She seems a bit disappointed but rallies gamely.

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

Back outside, Swaggy quickly lets go of Chamba, somewhat red in the face, and sighs in relief at the succesful retreat. "Him being dumb is good, don't want him in my neighborhood! So... where we go from here?"
He looks around and notices Batry is missing. "Wait, did Batry just disappear!?"
After a brief search, he joins Batry in the weird spherical room where they both prompty start floating. "Aaaaaah! Put me down! Gobs can't fly! Swaggy isn't ready to die!"
So... how do I move in here? :) Is it a zero gravity room? Can Swaggy reach the weird metal rod with his cane?"

Your Benevolent Dictator |

Everything in the room is affected by levitate, so it is, in fact, a zero gravity room. XD
It takes a little creativity, but you're eventually able to retrieve the floating items from the weird room.
Loot
Bottle of wine
Illustrated Lamashtu prayer book (written in Abyssal) (worth 100gp if sold)
Dead raven covered with live maggots
Scroll - burning hands (CL 3rd)
Wand of Electric Blast (CL 2nd; 1d6 electric damage; 1 Spell Point)

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

Swaggy, relieved to have both green feet back on solid ground, disperses the loot amongst those who want it.
Then, seeing as they crossed all other rooms, he tracks to the rubble-covered stairs at B10, and barring interruption, orders his squad to clear it!

Your Benevolent Dictator |

Your squad gamely sets about trying to clear the rubble, but it soon becomes clear that they lack the proper tools and training for this attempt to diggy diggy hole. If they were dwarves, it might be a different story, but for the moment, it would take a literal earthquake to clear a passage. That's probably for the best, though, as you can faintly hear the baying of hounds deep below. Weird ones. That probably have lots of teeth.
Feel free to keep trying, but it might be better to come back later. Maybe around Level 13. XD

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

Oh. Haha. Message received :')
With the very weird, demonic-like howling coming from below, Swaggy suddenly has second thoughts. "Hm... so, what now? Searched all rooms I think. Need to find route to Demon Arm so we can bring them to the brink! Right?"
However, they still had no idea where the Demon Arm tribe was, and there didn't seem to be a clue down here...
"Should we go back to Elfshanks and see if she can tell us location of Demon Arms in thanks?"

Chambawamba |

Wamba shrugs and grins. "Or we could go eat the crazhy gobbo. Either way."

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

"Hmmm... if pretty Chamba is hungry, could pay weird other gob a visit. That's a good plan, Batry, or is it?" he asks the brains of the group. "Probably doesn't help us find demon arm much but it doesn't cost anything important or such?"

Batry Big Ears |

"Why eat the poor fool? I say leave him here. Maybe pass by his queenie and grab her for a snack? Did she have good taste? Or maybe say hi to Ameiko and ask for meal for saving her? And also have her get Shalululu so we can get to Demonarms."

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

"Ah... that work too! Go to Ameiko and ask her for food and meeting with Shaleloo!" But then, Swaggy frowns. "Won't Sandy Points people attack us out of the blue? We did kind of attack their town, mind you... so what they do when thirty Goblins come through?"

Chambawamba |

'Wamba makes a face but reluctantly agrees to leave the crazy goblin alone. "Not sure how good long-dead queenie taste. Might be better to leave it, get tasty morsels from Meeko!"

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

"Yes, yes! Tasty food from Haikushanks as thanks!"
Confident that nothing could possibly go wrong about just walking into Sandpoint and spontaneously forgetting his own earlier misgivings about such a course of action, he walks forward and makes to open the front door to the glassworks...

Your Benevolent Dictator |

Swaggy opens the front door and finds ... a quiet town and empty streets. Oh, that's right! Longshanks sleep when it's dark and do things when the sun is out. If you're quick and quiet, you can probably get out of town before anyone sees you. Of course, that means you won't get tasty food from Haikushanks.
Decisions, decisions.... XD

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

Is Batry going to prevent disaster!? Are Goblin brains sometimes larger than their stomachs? The suspense is real!

Batry Big Ears |

"Be very quiet. We go to Ameiko and go knock on door. That what longshanks do to ask to come in. If Meiko opens we ask for food. Else we go home and come back later. We don't want angry Sandypointies." Batry has a very serious face while he talks, but it's somewhat undermined by the toad on his head nodding his head as if to emphasize the words, apparently in strong agreement with his mode of transportation.

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

"Right! Tipsy Toes prevent the woes!"
Swaggy happily agrees, and stealths into the night alongside his party members on way to the Haikushank Inn...

Chambawamba |

'Wamba nods thinking of tasty foodstuffs and drink that might be had at the drag inn. She scampers all the way there, and thumps anxiously on the door.

Your Benevolent Dictator |

After a few minutes, the door is opened by an OLD FEETSHANKS - who promptly shrieks in horror at the sight of an army of blood-covered goblins. What a strange and unexpected reaction! XD

Chambawamba |

'Wamba grins toothily-- she loves that reaction! It makes her feel warm inside. She is briefly tempted to jump the old feetshanks in order to keep her from running away in fright, but she decides to just keep smiling and let Swaggy do the talking.

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

Hm. Something about the whole prospect of being discovered in the middle of a town of hostile humans gave Swaggy pause, and he has the nagging suspicion he'd forgotten something very important at the prospect of food...
Thinking quickly, he rolled with it and enacted what was surely the bestest plan!
"Don't worry, Feetshanks. You're having bad dreams - nothing is as seems! Just, next time you snooze, go easy on the booze!"
Bluff: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (16) + 10 = 26

Batry Big Ears |

"And before you sleep again, please get Ameiko. We's need to talk to her." He nods, then remembers what was the proper longshanks, and probably also feetshanks, thing to do. He smiles. "Pretty please... with sugar on top."
He never knew what the sugar was for.

Chambawamba |

'Wamba makes a face. She doesn't like sugar. Her enthusiasm for menacing the feetshanks lessens as she contemplates the sickly-sweet flavor of seasoned halfling.

Your Benevolent Dictator |

The feetshanks closes her eyes and pinches herself. When she opens her eyes, you're still there! She promptly screams and flees inside, leaving the door open. Ameiko shows up a moment later, holding a dagger in each hand. She stares warily at you but lowers her weapons.
"It is not safe here."
"Poor Bethana's terrified."
"What is wrong?"

Batry Big Ears |

"We's wanted to make sure you safe here and that you's tell Shalulu we made true on promise. Oh, and asks her if she knows knew Demon Arm tribe, for they are bad for reputation of goblinkind. Oh, and Swaggy and Chamba have other question for you." He then nudges the closest of those two.
"And say sorry to your Bethana friend. We not mean to scare her."

Chambawamba |

'Wamba grins. "Got food for us who dos what you say? And drink? Gobbo-longshank friendship goes far more far when there is meat and spirits." She waggles her eyebrows, which distracts somewhat from her sharp teeth.

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

"You are tired, I see."
"Final line only counts three."
"Still good to see you."
He gives Ameikushanks a broad smile. "Haikushanks, we went in tunnel. Ran into big trouble. Demons and demon-like goblins walk in Sandypoint below. And maybe even big ones behind stone passage, Swaggy doesn't know. Maybe all shanks here aren't safe. Consider fleeing if you're not brave? Strange things are going on. Here, look at head of Batshanks we won."
He motions to two of his blood-spattered backup singers who bring the severed and partly eaten head of Batlady Shanks. "That not look normal, no? So... we need Shalelu to find Demon Arm before others get harm. Matter of goblin hero pride tonight!"

Your Benevolent Dictator |
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Ameiko gives you a respectful nod at your mastery of the Common tongue. 'Tired' is commonly considered a two-syllable word (which would cause your own verse to be incorrectly formatted) but is actually monosyllabic. Dipthongs are complicated, after all - especially when you add regional accent variations.
"Demon Arm? Not a name I know."
"Tell Shalelu? I will do so."
"Perhaps she can shoot them with her bow."
"You say evil things lurk below."
"Perhaps from times of long ago."
"Sandpoint prefers the status quo."
"I think these things should be laid low."
"Before they usher in dark days of woe."
"For now, I think that you should go."
"As Bethana's causing quite a row."
"But first, some food I will bestow."
She brings you some bread fresh out of the oven - likely some of what will be served for breakfast in the morning. She also has a wedge of cheese for each of you and a large piece of meat that's covered in exotic spices. The aroma singes your nose hairs, so you know it's going to be extremely spicy.

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

Swaggy's eyes begin to water after hearing such a magnificent rhyming verse! Next time, he vowed, he'd go and better rehearse. But alas, t'was probably time to disperse, before the situation really got worse.
"Thanks a lot, Haikushanks!"
"Wait for shalelu, we will."
"Stay out of trouble!"
Taking a good bite of his cheese, he begans marching back to Licktoad territory. Maybe the Boss had some idea on what to do, too...

Your Benevolent Dictator |

It appears the rest of the tribe hasn't even noticed that you were gone for literally hours. Not particularly surprising. Goblins aren't the most observant of creatures on the best of days, and that's not even counting the post-party hangover. The real question is whether or not you want to disturb Chief Gutwad.

Chambawamba |

'Wamba scratches her head. "Should we wake up big chief? I mean, he is da chief." She shrugs. She likes doing things on her own, but she also likes living as part of a tribe.

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

"Wake chief Gutwad... hm we might..." Swaggy thinks really hard. "Iit's really late at night. Chief probably asleep. But Demon Arm tribe is taking over... should tell him before they get too deep?"
He looks at Batry as the brains for confirmation, but otherwise offers to go and tell the chief about the biggestest problems and ask if he knew anything at all about whatever was going on!

Batry Big Ears |

"Let's go check on dumb Fool. Maybe Demon Arm already came here and he joined. If so maybe need to kill him." Batry's disdain for Gutwad was a known factor by now.

Your Benevolent Dictator |

Big Chief Gutwad is (as expected) sleeping off a nasty hangover. One of his syncopatic underlings had gifted him some sweet-smelling tiny containers of pink liquid. They came from the "Pixie Kitten" place in Sandy Points. Longshanks like to spray them on themselves, but that's just wasting the tasty gluggadrink inside.
If you choose to wake him, go ahead and launch into your reason for doing so. If you choose to let him sleep, I'll skip ahead to the morning.

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

"Oi! Chief Gudwad. Swaggy's here to tell you what! Ran into tribe called Demon Arm who want to do us harm!" Swaggy proclaims, prodding the sleeping chief with his shiny new swordcane! "They've stolen Sandpoint with tunnels under fireworks joint. Know anything about their tribe before Shalelu elfshanks comes and ends our lives? She's got a lots of hate for your last raid!"

Your Benevolent Dictator |

Bothering the chief while he's asleep is rarely a good idea. Especially when he's being woken by rough prodding from a swordcane. His initial reaction is a powerful punch to the face!
Swaggy: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (16) + 11 = 27 Nonlethal Damage: 1d3 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7
"WHY YOU WAKE ME UP FOR DUMB SINGING!?! GOTTA SLEEP SO CAN DO 'PORTANT CHIEF BIZNIS." It takes a minute for your words to sink in. His face darkens in anger. "Can't haz Sandy Points. We raid first, so it ours! Demon Arm tryin' make bigbig name for themselves. Steal OUR longshanks spot. Gotta teachim a lesson." He thinks for a bit. "Okay. Big Chief say this. Go find Demon Arm. Tell 'em Sandy Point be OURS. No sneaking. Shalelu want fight? Can follow you to Demon Arm. Elfshanks can do them harm." He laughs uproariously at his cleverness. "Now go 'way! Chief be tired from all dis work. Gotta rest."

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

Swaggy sways left and right from the hard impact! But fortunately, his earlier career had toughened him up quite a bit. You'de be surprised at what people threw at you when they didn't like your singing! Especially if they were goblins.
While the chief was busy not being helpful, Swaggy sets his own nose with a healing spell.
healing: 1d8 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6
"So you don't know anything about Demon Arm crimes? Ok chief. Good night and go sleep on the times," not particularly hiding his own disdain, he attempts to walk away.
"He didn't say not to take the tribe with us to war. Let's take them. Serves him right for being a bore."
We roll initiative? :P

Batry Big Ears |

Once they were out Batry listens to Swaggy, "Not sure I want to endanger tribe. Best reason for me to take tribe away is so we can barricade his home and set it on fire. Gutwad is useless, we need to remove him for betterment of the tribe." Batry basically spits out the chief's name. It's pretty obvious he hates the fool.
Then his ears perk up, "Maybe we tell Shalulu he is to blame for attack, which he is! Then she can kill him and solve issue for us."

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

Swaggy nods slowly, hoping they were far enough away for chief not to hear that. Goblins had big ears and all! "Yes...? Yes. Yes! Let's wait for Shalelu and ask her to turn Gudwad into arrow-cushion mess! Then us three take over and give Licktoad camp a stylish makeover!" he entusiastically agrees. "We could use whole tribe to kick Demon Arm out and hire out protection for money, paid fully in honey!"
He rubs his green tubby. "Swaggy really likes honey. And Batry likes longshanks books and Chamba eats... all their goods! Big brain play. We save day and get access to Longshank stuff for free!"

Chambawamba |

'Wamba screws up her face in thought. "How do we know 'Lelu wouldn't kill all of us, not just Big Chief? Maybe good to help her kill Demon Arm gobbos first, so we sure she knows who we are. Then we come back here and she help us get Big Chief."

Swaggy Sockslayer McFly III |

"Can do that too! Good training for insurrection!" Swaggy enthusiastically agrees. "But either way, have to wait on Shalelu. Then we can go and take action. Now we go to sleep so we can later storm Demon Arm keep!"
Happy with the plan, Swaggy suggest going to sleep and heading out to the meadow they met Shalelu in for the next few evenings for when she made contact.

Chambawamba |

'Wamba agrees with this plan, but insists on brewing up some moonshine from the weird ingredients she found on the raids, with the hope of convincing Batry, Swaggy, and the posse to partake while they wait.
(Can she just take 10 on the Profession: Brewer roll? That's a 20 total.)