Rise of the Goblin Runelords (Inactive)

Game Master Whack-a-Rogue

Oldshanks has a look of shock on his face as he dies. Common: "This isn't how it was supposed to happen...."

Nice job, everyone! You've defeated the RotRL iconics. XD

The moment the old man dies Batry rushes over and starts rifling through his things. He's looking for anything but especially books.

Snookums also moves in to help, using her nose to track down weird smells.

Chambawamba continues grabbing the fallen elfshanks' knives and tossing them aside while burbling drunken "pew pew" sounds. When she finally runs out, she rolls over towards Swaggy and comes to a stop, wobbling. "Hiya Shwag!" she says loudly. "Want shome of my cheesh?"

From her grounded vantage point she watches Snookums and Batry intently, curious what they will find.

Oldshanks Stuff
MW Sword Cane
Light Crossbow (bolt x10)
Backpack
Scroll Case (empty)
Spell Component Pouch
Spellbook
5gp

@Chamba: Merisel has 8 daggers, 1 silver dagger, and 1 cold iron dagger.

At seeing the spellbook Batry smiles before punching another hole into the fabric of space and throwing the spellbook in. Some light reading for a quiet moment.

He then goes through the other things. When he finds the crossbow he nods. That was why Tiffany liked him, he had another just like her, almost. But he left it, only grabbing the bolts. They were a bit big but could probably be refitted.
He then pocketed the money and the little pouch. The bigger bag was tempting but it was too big and heavy for him and the straps were too short for Snookums.

So instead he grabbed the swordcane and took it to Swaggy. "Hey Swaggs, look what the oldy had. It's a cane with a sword in the middle!" He carefully pulls out the blade as he talks, not wanting to hurt his friends. "You wants it?"

As the last Longshanks go down, the entire troup erupts in cheers! Swaggy turns around to adress the crowd when suddenly-

"Hiya Schwag! Want some cheese?"

He whirls around quickly again to face Chamba, and stumbles over his own feet doing so. For why wouldn't he? A perfect set of razor-sharp teeth still containing mis-matched bits of this Longshanks or that, hanging oh so seductively from her mouth. A plump and properly bouncy goblin figure along with a fun-loving personality.

Meanwhile, he looked down and only saw his ripped abs. Lamashtu had surely passed him over in all the important Goblin ways.

"A-ah, pretty Chamba..."

He was lucky that still rhymed. But not sure what to say, he took the cheese, noticed her looking at Batry and felt his ears drop.

Unhelpfully, his entire troop chose this exact moment to sneak up on him and started humming a rather embarassing tune.

This does wake him up and he shuts them down with a wave of his hand before the actual lyrics could start.

"Ahem! Right, you guys, we aren't scum. Search other Longshanks and take weapons and food. Give to shortshanks and Longshanks walking with this dude."

He points at Adrian Foxglove while his troop picks up each and every one of the weapons these guys were carrying (and there seemed to be quite a lot of those...) along with their travel rations and gives it to the Longshank children for the road ahead.

"Batry, Chamba, this is Adrian. He is a novice verbal musician. He will take care of shortshanks and spread word of great Licktoad victory as thanks! Along with names of Swaggy, Batry and Chambawamba. Include feats of coolness, big brains and beauty in them, he surely will to pay the bill! Right?"

"Oooh! A cane that's also a sword, yo? So I can give verbal spanks followed by shanks? Many thanks!"

Swaggy gratefully takes the swordcane from Batry and experimentally slices a piece of cheese from the wheel. The blade was a bit unwieldingly long and he almost his Chamba - almost. He gives a faked flourish to pretend to be a good 'fencer' and hastily puts the sword back in the cane.

Influence, bluff knowing how to handle a sword: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (15) + 7 = 22

Hopefully that would fool people and save face! He decided that for now, he would carry the swordcane on his back while he used his normal one. Two canes ensured each battle was won!

Batry ducked under the sword as Swaggy tried it out, then smiled at the flourish before running off again.

He quickly joins the troupe that's rifling through the belongings of the dead adventurers, looking for interesting or useful things. He at least wanted that little statuette that the firelady was holding. That and all their coins so maybe he could try the longshanks practice of "buying things".

Firelady Stuff
Scroll - endure elements
Chain Shirt
Scimitar
Sling (bullet x10)
Wooden Sarenrae Holy Symbol
2gp

Elfshanks Stuff
Previously-mentioned daggers
Studded Leather
Hooded Lantern (oil x5)
Silk Rope 50ft
Thieves' Tools
5gp

Swordshanks Stuff
Scale Mail
Longsword
Shortsword
Longbow (arrow x20)
Crowbar
Grappling Hook (50ft hemp rope)
Tankard
2gp

'Wamba blinks at Swaggy and then at the longshanks he is protecting. "Nish clothesh, that one hash. Bet he tastesh like gold!" Then her eyes widen. "Ohh!" she says, and she looks back to Swaggy and deliberately, obviously winks at him. "Right, right! Not keeping him for money, not going to eat later or anything. Gotcha."

Humming to herself, she continues rolling over to Batry, and she looks at what he is looting. "Hi Batry. Look, more rope! And tools! Bah, Wamba got better tools than those!" Then her eyes light up. "Ooo, I get that big ol' mug! Let'sh drink bufo and remember how that guy fell down!"

She looks around, suddenly wondering where all the other goblins are. Is the battle still going? she wonders.

The market square is empty aside from the three of you, Swaggy's backup gobbos, and the Foxy Glove people. It seems that the rest of the longshanks are hiding somewhere or are fighting elsewhere in town.

Which means, of course, that you're free to get into whatever shenanigans you desire. I've put a map of Sandpoint in the campaign header with several prominent locations listed. However, if you feel like wandering around blindly (or in search of something), I'm happy to oblige as well. XD

So the market square is the unnamed largeish spot of brown ground more or less in the exact center of the map, and that's where we are? If so, Swaggy was heading to southeast the Sandpoint bridge to deliver the surviving children, Adrian and accompanying Longshanks to safety (so that they could spread tales of Licktoad glory and become rappers themselves when they grew up)! I suppose that's where he'd want to go first.

He'd probably want to try visiting some store or weapons/armor deposit (the armory) next to get the gear to outfit his backup singers. He just lost two of them :( They need better armor!

Batry proceeds to examine all the stuff from the remaining corpses. He throws weapons to the side as he doesn't need those. When seeing the tankard and Wamba's response he grins. Good, distract them with the lousy stuff while gets the good things. "Feeva be drinking lots and lots of Gluggadrink where I came into Sandy Point. Maybe yous can drink too?"

So he once more opens his extradimensional storage and starts chucking some things in. He takes the scroll, the holy symbol, flasks of oil, the crowbar and all the gold. The gold is added to that from the old man though and not thrown in the storage. After all, that isn't just for him he's only keeping it safe. Making sure it doesn't get eaten or something.

"Swaggy, can yous entourage lend hand here? I want to make harness for snookums from soft rope but I needs help." That way they could carry the rope with them without overloading his storage.

And yes, Batry will want to go to the curious goblin but he'd preferably go there alone. He doesn't want others questioning his ability to read simply because he doesn't want to end up burning beside the books.

Swaggy looks at Batry's disappearing tricks and smiles. "There goes Batry with such flair, putting things in empty air," he says to the mostly shortshanks group behind him.

"Make a harnass now, is that big brain? Why not give to one of ours to carry, please explain?" Swaggy replies to Batry's request, slightly confused. There were, after all, around twenty or so of them around to carry stuff and this was technically a warzone. But then Batry was the smart one so surely there was a good reason.

"Ah... right, Chamba and Batry, can you come with me? I want to stick with my plan and bring these shortshanks over bridge while we can. Then maybe go exploire Sandy Point as one and have lots of fun!?"

He points towards the bridge excitedly.

Batry nods at Swaggy's suggestion, "If they can carry it that would be good. Easier too. Saves work. Snookums be better of with real harness as well."

When Swaggy then asks for helps Batry nods once more, "Is good idea to help them be safe. When we's show friendly face maybe no adventurers come to attack tribe." Batry clearly takes this friendly face to be a literal thing as then tries to look as friendly as possible, to mixed effect.

'Wamba nods excitedly to Swaggy's plan, and scampers toward the bridge when they are ready to go. "Will shcout ahead, but don't worry, I won't eat everything up before you catch up." She grins. "Maybe we find demon horshes this way? Only, chief boss said we would get to kill demon horshes. Everyone knows 'Wamba is nashurally talented at jumping and climbing on thingsh, but I want to shee how long she can last before they throw her off." She blinks. "Me off. I mean. What was I shaying? Never mind. Me off."

You hustle the longshanks and shortshanks through the square, down some streets, and toward the bridge. You pass a few goblins who give you curious looks, but the majority of your tribe is too busy looting and burning to pay much notice. Besides, there's a lot of you, and you seem to have a plan, so you're obviously supposed to be doing what you're doing. Definitely not helping longshanks escape. Because that would be bad so you'd be acting sneaky and walking on tippy-top-toes instead of marching along with a band and everything. Clearly this is official Licktoad business. Feel free to elaborate if desired.

Once you've crossed the bridge, Aldern Foxy Gloves bows in gratitude. Common: "My thanks to you, my new short green friends. I may not understand your ways, but it's plain to me that your hearts are in the right place. My manor is not far from here. Its isolated locale should shield it from your kindred's revelry, so perhaps I think I'll take the children there to ride out the storm in safety. A reward, of course, will be in order. Where shall I have it delivered?"

'Wamba has been very confused about what Swaggy is doing with all the kids meals and the tasty-looking guy in the expensive clothing, but she shrugs and goes along with it, figuring that her friends must have a plan. She perks up, however, when the Alderman suggests a reward. "How about shend rewardshes to longshank place with white deer painted on the outside?" She looks at Batry and Swaggy and explains. "Lots of room to sleep there, no more bigjobs that I saw. Could be good home-bashe-away-from-home-bashe." She sighs dreamily, imagining all the alcohol that must be in the tavern's taproom.

I like how almost exactly half his lines rhyme. He could be a poet, and not even know it! Was that intentional?

At the mention of a reward, Swaggy looks to the others. "Hmmm. What friend Batry say? Is that the best way? Seems to me, outside is the better place to be. So no other Licktoads make off with our loads."

"Old useless Swaggy had a long history of being picked on and stolen from, after all..."

He shakes his head and leans forward a bit with both hands on his cane. "Rewards you say? If Swaggy has his way, bring Batry a book from some dusty nook that reads and smells of spells. And many bottles of wine for Chamba, so fine! Um... for Swaggy..." he looks down, momentarily unsure what to ask. He had his friends now and he didn't really need much else that Adrian could probably give. But there was one thing! "Oh! Shiny jewels to add around neck or teeth. Better than some weapon sheath. And... bury everything south of town near giant rock that looks like inverted sock. Place stick upward in western ground and Swaggy will make sure it's found."

He waves goodbye to the not-quite-longshanks. "Bye, shortshanks! Grow tall and become rapper musicians, y'all! Look for Doggfather to show the way and you'll always know what to say!"

Then, he cracks his neck and smiles to his friends. "Righto! Where in Sandy points should we go?"

Batry nods at Swaggy's reward suggestions, "Historical texts or oldy trinkets would also be good. And yes, rock be good. Goblins must leave Sandy Point in not long time as more longshanks will come, is inevitable."

He ignores the children. If they are lucky they grow up to not be bigoted like most longshanks.

When Swaggy later asks about their new destination he smiles, "I be going to "Curious Goblin", is book shop and name is joke. But I be curious goblin so good shop for me."

'Wamba shrugs. She can think of only one reason why a goblin would want to go to a book shop, but she's seen enough burning today and she is starting to feel a little sluggish. "Me, I go back to white-deer place. Shee if there is any shtuffs to be had! Lots of longshank rooms, didn't see any longshanksh before." Her plan is to let the bufo wear off a little and then break into all the locked things she can find in the inn, looking for more treasure or liquor.

Swaggy's ears drop a bit. "Oh. Not going to same direction? Then... I'll go and look for something to add deflection. Lost two friends to stupid Longshanks in dress and elfshank's whose neck is a mess."

He looks over his shoulder, a bit angrily towards where the remains of the evil 'dventurers are."Meet at market in a while and visit rest of town in style?"

Swaggy will go to the armory/blacksmith to hopefully find gear for his troop.

Batry
Your destination is easy to find. After all, a sign depicting a Goblin reading a book sized for a much larger creature is rather distinctive - and mildly offensive. Unfortunately, it's currently being charged by several members of your tribe - carrying lit torches. An ELDERLY LONGSHANKS desperately waves a pair of spectacles from behind a hastily-assembled barrier of chairs as they approach. Common: "Please! Not the books! Do you heathens have any idea how much knowledge is in here? It's irreplaceable, I tell you!" As expected, the Licktoads either don't understand what he's saying - or simply don't care.

Chamba
Do you take the cheese wheel with you? XD
Being located so far north, the deer building has been overlooked by the majority of your tribe. Lucky you! That means you get all the stuff! All that you can carry, anyway. You can't make holes in the air like Batry, after all.
Other than liquor, is there anything in particular you'd be likely to keep? I have a lengthy list of random crap, but you won't be able to carry all of it with you, so I figure it'll be easier if I just give you the most interesting bits. XD

Swaggy
As you search for supplies to improve your squad's survivability, you discover one of the places where battle still rages. Dozens of Licktoads are trying to overrun a defensive position manned by several muscular longshanks and a pair of giant red dogs. One MUSCULAR LONGSHANKS has a blacksmith's hammer that he wields with some skill, but the real star of the show is a LADYSHANKS wearing strange armor. She has a big crossbow that shoots bolts almost as quickly as you can throw raps. The stone buildings behind them have signs that read "Savah's Armory" and "Red Dog Smithy." You see approximately 10 dead goblins.

When Batry and Snookums (and Wartface) arrive at their mark they find what they had expected but had also hoped wouldn't be there. Then again, it offered an opportunity. If he saved the books then the old longshanks was sure to allow him proper access.

Batry climbed on top of Snookums before he started shouting, Goblin "Listen Licktoads! I be one that killed 'venturers! This no place for you! Words be bad but there be horsies to kill! You can eat dead horsies! Follow road in direction of village and you see big sign with horsie killing Gob, it's bad!"

He then raised Tiffany and aimed it at his fellow Gobs' Goblin "I's take care of this place, me'n Tiffany, n'Snookums. It be mine! You go's kill horsies!"

"Oh! Wait! Me forgot!" 'Wamba runs back to the square to right the wheel of cheese, and then rolls it ahead of her back to the inn.

She'll check out the brewing facilities to see if there's anything she can use in her own goblin moonshine-making experiments, and of course check for longshank valuables like coins and magic potions. I picture her kind of like a goblin Cookie Monster though, in that most of what she is interested in are consumables. Ommnommnomm! Ommmmmmmnomnom!

But yeah, just the bits that interest you are fine with me. :P

Swaggy sees the situation and wonders what his much smarter friend Batry would do in his place. His immediate instinct was to gather his friends for help first, but he felt he had to prove to them that he wasn't useless on his own. Plus, if he didn't do something right away, lots of Licktoads would die.

Hmmm.

He looks around for the same type of demon horse carriage he had his rap battle with the knife star longshanks with and motions his goblins forward upon locating one. So nice for many of these to be around for the festival! Pushing the carriage from behind to not position themselves into the direct line of fire, swaggy places it roughly in a straight line to the entrance of the smithy and the defensive chokepoint, some way down the road.

Then, he starts singing and turns the weapons of his crew on fire. They set the carriage ablaze and immediately start pushing the flaming wagon into the defensive chokepoint as fast and hard as 20-ish goblins can crash a huge rolling ball of fire into a cluster of dogs and stubborn Longshanks.

Privately, he asks the Doggfather for forgiveness. Some dogs were about to die, probably. But at least he could cook them into this Longshank thing called 'hot dogs'?

Afraid i dont have time today to think of the precise rhyming instructions in the post. Sorry!

Batry
Influence: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (5) - 1 = 4
You make a convincing argument. Unfortunately, as you well know, goblin pyromania is notoriously difficult to stop - especially when a buttload of books is involved. The only thing that might be as fun is killing horsies and doggos, but none are within your tribe's immediate sightline, so they're irrelevant.
And so the question becomes, how far are you willing to go to save the books? XD

Chamba
You find all kinds of neat stuffs!
- A sealed glass vial filled with a pair of non-mixing red and green liquids. It’s quite sour if consumed and leaves the drinker an overwhelming aftertaste of watermelon for the next 1d4 hours.
- A slab of greasy animal fat, wrapped in layers of cheap, thin paper. It smells of the woods.
- An entire rack of peppercorn venison
- A dozen loaves of bread
- A gallon of apple wine
- A single bottle of absinthe
- A rock with a patch of curious purple moss
- A wooden puzzle box
- A hemp rope tied into a monkey fist knot the size of an apple.
- A box of wooden toothpicks that each have a different and sometimes strange flavor

Swaggy
No worries, I'll supply the rhymes for you. XD
You begin to speak a loud refrain. The magic sets the cart aflame. Your voice continues to proclaim. And all your minions do the same. They shove it quickly down the lane. Toward the blacksmith and the dame. The hounds seek out goblins to maim. Too bad Batry's not here to make them tame. Or Chamba: to climb the bowshank's frame. And drive sharp teeth into her brain. Because her weapon turns to aim ... at you. She thinks that you're the one to blame.
The cart will hit the barricade next round. Is your troop close enough to defend you, or did you send everyone with the burning cart?

How i'm imagining this: swaggy and his band have lit the main part of the wagon on fire and are using the wooden extensions on the front of the wagon (where horses are usually attached) to push the thing backward towards the chokepoint, flaming part first. Swaggy is among his troop and hopes he isn't visible behind the wagon. The idea is to let go of the wagon at the last moment, just before it crashes into the humans. If Swaggy still sees her aim at him and she somehow has line of sight through the burning wagon and the smoke, he will duck and hide among his group. He hopes creating an opening will make the dozens of other goblins and his troop overwhelm the defenders. Also +1 for the rhymes :)

Batry sighs, Goblin "Ok Snookums, looks like they not know about how we beat 'venturers, let's give demonstration. But do little gentle."

Snookums appears to have other ideas though. She makes sure there is enough distance between her and the goblins and then charges, aiming to move through them like a bulldozer.

Batry jumps off the moment he understand what she's going to do, so shortly before she starts to charge. Goblin "Careful!" Though how true to those words he actually feels is up for debate as he only shouts after Snookums hit the group.
He also raises Tiffany in case any goblin decides to attack Snookums. He wasn't going to use lethal force but nobody touches Snookums.

Snookums
Charge, attempting to Overrun the first Goblin she encounters and Bull Rush the second. Hopefully they are too distracted to notice her charging in. And she's fine with ending the Bull Rush by pushing the second goblin into the third and that's it.
Overrun: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13 Bull Rush: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9

Batry readies an attack with Tiffany, aiming to do non-lethal damage (I guess that translates to shooting an ear or something)
Attack, non-lethal but in PB range: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (9) + 2 = 11 Damage in case of (non-lethal) hit: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

Somewhere during the mad dash of the goblin troop and their improvised flaming battering ram towards the chokepoint, Swaggy made eye contact with the sniper bow lady and knows he's on top of her target list. Somehow, despite being surrounded by his troop and directly behind their 'weapon' and the smoke originating from the burned canvas and whatever supplies were in the wagon. Hmmm. He probably should have checked what those were first?

Yet, there it was. Direct eye contact! And he could somehow sense the spirit of a fellow rhymester.

Well, two could play that game/
Time to see if she was sane/
And had a functioning brain/
Hm, what distraction could pertain?

He looked directly upwards to the roof of the place/
And cried out: "You! Jump down on her face!"
Of course, there was no one there.
But with dozens of other goblins, was this Longshanks aware?

influence, Bluff, someone above her is about to jump her, and it's not Chamba: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (6) + 7 = 13

Unsure if his distraction was successful, he started singing his calming, bracing song and ducked back in between the crowd and behind the weagon.

Batry
Influence: 1d20 - 1 + 4 ⇒ (9) - 1 + 4 = 12
Snookums smashes into a goblin but it gets tangled up in her legs as she runs him over, so she has to stop juuuust short of the next-closest member of your tribe. He does drop his torch in fright, though. Another goblin dives to the ground as Tiffany's bolt passes near his head. The other goblins stop in confusion. Goblin: "Why we can't burn books? Chief say we book burn crew. There be books right here! And funny yell-yell oldshanks."

Swaggy
Sense Motive: 1d20 ⇒ 20 (oof)
Wagon Chaos Factor: 2d6 + 3 ⇒ (2, 3) + 3 = 8 (stolen from Dungeon World)

Turns out the wagon was quite full / Of odds and ends alchemical / Fireworks for festival/ To light the sky up wonderful (ly)
But your magic set it afire / So instead what did transpire? An explosion singed everyone's attire / And turned barricade into pyre.

Fire Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 5 (Reflex DC 15 halves)
Blindness Rounds: 1d4 ⇒ 3 (Fortitude DC 15 negates)
The good news: your distraction is wildly more effective than expected
The bad news: your distraction is wildly more effective than expected.
More to come once I see how both you and your troop handle this. XD

Oh gods XD

Swaggy reflex save: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 24

Swaggy fort save: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7

Troop reflex save: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 9

Troop fort save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (13) + 4 = 17

Swaggy takes 2 points of fire damage, substracting one from calm song temp to 1. His troop takes... either 3 or 5 total points of fire damage depending on the size (to their max hp of 11). I suppose this is an aoe and troop vulnerability applies? :) They had 1 temp from the song, and have a delayed damage pool of 3 from the guardian sphere. They get another 1 temp at the start of their turn which each another point of damage.

Sometimes, even Swaggy was blinded by his own radiance, and this was such a time. Fortunately, his troops had dark glasses and their resilence was much more sublime. On fire, yes, but they pulled him away in time. Before being eaten by dogs or shot by longshanks (if they were in a better state), which would be a crime! (to style).

Swaggy blindly healed his friends in the vicinity to the best of his ability!

cure sphere: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8

Halved, of course, since it was a troop. But leaving them with only 1 damage out of 11, his troop was still worthy of Snoop!

Blinded but not out of the fight, Swaggy cries out into the night! Or was it day? He couldn't see either way.

"Licktoads, listen to Swaggy - flank the doggy! Swarm the longshanks and give later thanks! Have my FIRE to give better spanks!"

And thus, Saggy used his move action and swift action to give a large damage boost to the friendly goblins around him. His troops drag Swaggy to a safer position before joining the fight themselves.

Well, that turned out okay? Perhaps gobs would now have their way. And maybe the huge explosion and fire, would aid his friends in their desire(s). He could only hope the other Licktoads would see the smoke, or hear the bang and bring their fang(s).

'Wamba happily goes through all the stuff and then sits with her trove and a few cups of apple brandy to pick her teeth, feeling content. Well, almost content. She is still a bit peckish. After waiting for her friends to join her for almost a whole minute, she decides to go see what is taking them so long and pokes her head back out of the inn.

Do we hear Swaggy's explosion? Batry would really like to make use of it if so.

Well, with the description being that the cart was full of fireworks materials and that the armory is fairly in the center in Sandpoint, I'd assume you'd either hear something or see (another) column of smoke combined with perhaps actual fireworks going up? Up to the GM as usual though, of course.

Oh, everyone most definitely notices. XD

Goblin "I be book burn crew and I be hero so I be more qualifi..." Just when Batry was starting arant a massive explosion was heard in the background coming from the direction Swaggy was but also from where the book burners entered town.

This was an opportunity.

Goblin "What was that? Must be great big fire there! Be much more going there. More burning and shouty longshanks, more fire, more fun. Sound better. You go there have better fun than just silly old longshanks." While talking Batry reloads Tiffany. If things didn't work out he might actually have to kill them to get his point across.

Swaggy
You hear screams and yells and shouts and cries and other exclamatory verbs. With your temporary loss of vision, it's hard to know exactly what's going on. You haven't been shot or eaten by dogs, though, so that's probably a good thing.

Chamba
You're just starting to look for your friends when you hear an enormous explosion. There are multicolored lights and a large column of smoke coming from somewhere near the market square where you left Batry and Swaggy! You also, however, hear a quickly-cut-off cry of fear come from upstairs.

Batry
Burning books is one of the most enjoyable activities for a goblin. The only thing that rivals it: fireworks. And the loud explosion and subsequent series of multicolored burst of light reveal that the mother of all fireworks displays is happening. Right. Now. By the time you finish reloading Tiffany, you discover that you're talking to empty air. And the bespectacled oldshanks, of course, but he doesn't seem to understand your language.

Batry coughs, Common "Now kind sir, with them gone I be wanting look at books. Not gonna burn or eat them, just read. Maybe you help? I be looking for book on longshanks history." He tries to sound as pleasant as possible. Honestly he shouldn't need to though. The goons have cleared out, they were among civil people now so there should be nothing stopping them from cooperating.

Coughing and bereft of vision, Swaggy calls out to his nearby troop defending him. "Everyone, Swaggy can't see. What happens at smith, tell me. Is lady with bow still stealing the show? If so, it's time for her to go. One of you tell me where to hide so the rest can join the fight!"

He then draws a deep breath and starts further encouraging the Licktoads with his powerful song!

"Licktoads, let's kill loads!
Show these puny Longshanks why to fear roads!
Time to shank in the face with your daggers enraged and tonight we will feast in the shades!
Capture this joint - it's OUR Sandpoint!"

Swaggy attemps feels out solid cover with one of his troop members, then starts his bardic performance in earnest, further encouraging the Licktoads nearby! Meanwhile, if bow lady is still up, the troop moves in and troop attacks her unless some threat is directly in the way.

troop attack, if applicable: 1d6 + 1d4 + 3 ⇒ (4) + (4) + 3 = 11

'Wamba stops, torn. Big explosions sound fun, but also dangerous. And this inn is where the longshanks will send them a reward, so it is an important bit of materiel in the battle against Sandpoint. She decides to split the difference and climbs up the side of the building to get a better look at what is happening in the square, and see if she can determine who made the sound of alarm.

Batry
Common: "Oh, thank Aroden! You are a noble soul, good sir, to save my books from those vagabonds. Were those fireworks I heard? It seems the festival is almost over, then." He rambles on for a bit before perking up. "History! That's what you said you wanted to read, is that correct? I have all sorts! Come in, but please leave your dog outside." He points to a sign: No Pets. He ... might be a bit nearsighted. And senile.

Swaggy
The battle's over by the time your vision clears. There are more dead goblins - some of which appear to have burned to death.... Well, if you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Or something like that. Wait, what does food have to do with anything? Anyway, there are still a fair few Licktoads around. Plus your homies. And a pair of dead dogs. And a dead bowshanks. Muscleshanks is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he escaped - or is stuck behind the mass of flaming wreckage that's blocking the entrance to the smithy. You can probably get into the armory, though.

Chamba
There's a whole lot of smoke coming from a little ways from the square. Didn't Swaggy say he wanted to do something there? Or maybe it's a party which means WE WON!!! Or maybe it's longshanks signalling the demon dog horses to come kill everyone. Mysteries are so much fun, aren't they? The sound of alarm is a much easier puzzle to solve. When you peek through the window of one of the bedrooms, you see a ladyshanks and a smallshanks crouched in a closet. Silly shankies! Awesome goblins can see in the dark, so it's like you're not hiding at all!

No pets. Batry nods and then gently scoops Wartface from the top of his head, revealing a much lighter green spot where the sun hasn't hit his scalp in ages. He then gently places the toad on Snookums' brow, "Now yous two hold guard here. I be going inside for bookies. Tiffany be keeping me safe."

He then followed the quite possible not all there old man into the shop. Common "Can yous point me to books on the travellers or those bald little giants with their tattoos? Or maybe books on oldy times before we's all, even yous, were?"

At the hopsital for my son, short post today.

Feeling fhe wreckage around him, Swaggy waits till his vision is no longer dim. He then sees the many deaths and knows its time to move to thefts. "Good job, we gave then the boot. Some of you check the Longshanks outside for loot. Licktoads too if it doesn't bother you. So tribe has no fear of losing their gear. Rest of you come with me, and we'll pick weapons and armor for free. Grab what you can wield, but first get a shield."

With that, he starts his calming song and most of his troop and Swaggy move into tbe armory (he listens for sounds inside first and tries to avoid being ambushed). A few of them stay behind to grab fallen longshank gear, especially the bow and stuff of bow lady. He had a great idea for what to do with that Tiffany lookalike...

'Wamba chuckles to herself. Silly longshanks! She idly considers breaking through the window so she can catch them, after all the lady-longshanks looks tender and she's never had smallshanks before. However, she's really feeling curious about the party or battle or whatever it is and so she waves at the two of them through the dusty glass and then turns around and climbs down the building instead, scampering off towards the square.

Batry
Common: "Ah, an intellectual, are we?" The longshanks chuckles approvingly. "Going to be a scholar when you grow up? I hear Magnimar's the place to be. So much history..." He lapses off, lost in his own world. "Oh, that's right, I haven't gotten you a book yet. Let me think. Tattoos ... ancient history ... I've got it!" He scurries off and returns with a hand-bound volume. "Arcanomechanical Fusion: A Study of the Technology of Thassilon."

Swaggy
You made a new friend! "Vansaya" (according to the name inscribed in the stock) is Tiffany's older prettier sister.
Loot: M Darkwood Repeating Light Crossbow (bolts x20)
Unfortunately, as it turns out, you've been deceived! Savah's Armory isn't an official armory. It's just a store! A weapon store! Full of really weird weapons!
Loot: M Spiked Chain, MW Shuriken x12, M Glaive-guisarme, M Dorn-dergar, S Chakram x5, S Gnome Hooked Hammer, 100gp in assorted coinage
There's also enough leather armor, wooden shields, and dogslicers to outfit your troop if they haven't done so already.

Chamba
The shankies scream in terror as you wave at them. But then you leave. Come to think of it, that's a pretty good game. "Hide or Get Clubbed" is the name, except there's a bunch of finders and they get to hit you with sticks unless you can run fast or bite their faces. It was lots of fun when you were little. It's still fun now, but it was also fun back then. Your deep philosophical musings about how entertainment changes during the aging process is suddenly interrupted. As you walk down the street heading toward the party/fire/battle/whatever, you notice a nearby stone building with the front door hanging wide open. There's shiny stuff inside!

So the old longshanks thinks he's a shortshanks? No issue there, makes it all easier. And Magnimar, that was the big city by the sea wasn't it? Maybe something for the future.

The book looked fantastic! Just the outside alone, it made you want to handle it with care. Preferably even with handsocks but he didn't have any of those at the moment. Common "It be looking very nice."
He gently takes the book from the man and starts going through it, taking care not to tear the pages as he does.

But while he took great care with the book, his mind wasn't fully with it's contents. Instead he was thinking about how to steal it without the oldshanks seeing. Oh, and leaving the dumb horsie book as well.

Slightly confused as to how all these weapons worked, and seeing most of them were a bit too big to wield too, Swaggy still decides to take everything with him/them. The important things were the wooden shields, which could hide most of his gob's bodies behind them. Sure was an advantage that longshanks were so long at times! Oh, the gold was pretty nice too. Maybe Batry could figure out a way to 'trade' these other weapons with unsuspecting other longshanks so that they freely gave them more money, jewels and food in return for this (to them) useless junk! Truly a big brain play, right?

Waiting for the store to be properly ransacked and his troop fully equipped for future misadventures, Swaggy then leads everyone back out to see how the rest of the battle, if any, was still going. He'd been here for a while now and figured he should probably meet back up with Batry and Chamba at the market square as they'd discussed earlier...

I'll start fully statting out the troop this afternoon now that they have shields and can use their shield sphere abilities :)

Shiny stuff? In a stone building? That looks promising to Chambawba! She easily allows herself to be distracted and peers inside to learn more.

Batry
Common: "Thank you, young man. I wrote it myself. What you're holding is my life's work." The book is incredibly information-dense and is difficult to fully grasp - especially since you're partially distracted by larcenous thoughts. What you can determine, though, is that this tome is part history of the ancient empire of Thassilon, part crafting manual, and part weird theory about the Sandpoint lighthouse being a secret war machine.

Swaggy
The fighting and looting seems to be dying down by the time you return to the market square. Much of the town is aflame, but it seems the Licktoads are retreating. Running from longshanks? Why? After another minute, you see why. The building with a metal dragon lizard on the roof (Rusty Dragon Inn) has become a rallying point for the longshanks. On the steps is a SINGING LADYSHANKS with a lute. She's clearly been blessed by the Doggfather (or perhaps one of his rivals), as her song is healing wounds and enhancing the listeners' fighting prowess. She's guarded by a bow-wielding ELFSHANKS. You recognize this one: a terror from Goblin children's nightmares - Shalelu Andosana. Where she goes, death follows.

Chamba
IT'S PRETTY THINGS!!! Necklaces, earrings, bracelets, toe rings, anklets, and more! Before you go loot crazy, though, you remember that longshanks are tricksy and like to hide things to keep their shiny stuff safe.
Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 18
Yeah, you were right. When something looks too good to be true, it often is. A lot of the jewelry has magic wards around it. If you touch it before the wards are deactivated, you'll find the experience ... shocking. Like, really shocking. It's unlikely that everything's protected, though, so you can probably snag a few goodies if you're careful. Assuming you take the time, of course.