Let the games begin....
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Chuffy slices the dot, stabs the dot, poisons the dot. Then he takes the rest so there are none left for anyone else.
Chuffy steals Moggy's dot. Mogmurch isn't supposed to have one.
"Humph. Reta must be slow from having to drag around that big head."
"Hmm" Reta says, coming towards Chuffy and Mogmurch. "Big head for big brains. Big crown too, when Reta chief!"
You are the heroes of the Licktoad Tribe, living legends after you triumphed against the terrible goblin cannibal Vorka and recovered many fireworks from her lair. Your tribe used the fireworks to great effect, but one day while you were out scrounging for more fireworks, adventurers came into the swamp and wiped out your tribe. You returned to your home to find it in ruins.
Now homeless, you have decided to travel to the closest tribe of goblins you know about — the Birdcrunchers. Maybe they’ll have room for you to join! Only, now that you’ve arrived in Birdcruncher territory, something seems wrong. The Birdcrunchers appear unusually nervous and frightened, cowering around the entrance to their cave. They aren’t even trying to defend their territory. And now, a wrinkled old goblin with bulging eyes is waddling out of the crowd, approaching you. She’s obviously some sort of shaman—maybe even the chieftain. If anyone here knows whether or not you can join the tribe, it’d likely be her!
“Well, well! What have we here? Licktoads, by the look of you, and from what I hear, orphans as well, hmm? Looking for a new place to live, I suspect? Well, you might be in luck, because we need new blood. Our own chieftains have been... lacking... in chieftainish ways. We’ve been having problems lately with an ogre and his fire-breathing boars, you see, and any goblins capable of killing the boars and driving off the ogre... or driving off the boars and killing the ogre... or... or whatever—well, they’ll not only be welcomed into Birdcruncher territory with open arms. They’ll be made chieftains, one and all!”
With that, the gathered Birdcruncher goblins suddenly animate into cheers and song. Eager and excited, they surge out of the cave to welcome their saviors, but suddenly freeze as the old woman shrieks out a command for silence. The goblins freeze in place, and she continues in a softer voice.
“But we can’t just assume you’re the stuff chieftains are made of. You might just be lucky. No, no... before we accept you as our saviors and before you’ll even have a chance to face off against Pa Munchmeat and his pig... I declare we have a Chieftain Moot!”
The gathered Birdcrunchers erupt into cheers. You know that a Moot is held when a new chief needs to be selected. The contest consists of multiple challenge that prove the participants' "goblininess."
"Chuffy make great Chief. Already know how to tell Poog what to do."
He tell Reta too, but she no listen good.
Reta ignores Chuffy's prodding. What he know anyway? Only how to stick things close. Reta stick things far and close.
Wandering around the Birdcruncher village later, the large-headed goblin looks around at the meek 'crunchers, then sidles up to a relatively beefy one, blinking her big eyes and moving her head around to try and get her veil flowing 'gracefully'.
"So goblin man, me Reta. Tomorrow I be new chief, most likely. And that menas you lucky: you get strongest and prettiest chief of all!" She mock frowns. "But Reta hear old cheifs not good. What wrong with them? And how they sure new Moot best prove Reta bestest choice?"
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Poog asks one of the nearby goblins, "Big ogre has fire boars? I want one! New chief needs mighty steed."
Wandering around, he tries to see as much of the village as possible, seeing if they have any cool stuff. But very quickly gets distracted by some cool bugs. And then because he's hungry. And again when Dogfinder tries to hop away.
Later, making sure as many of the others are within earshot, Poog loudly complains, "And who wants a pretty chief? Chiefs isn't supposed to be pretty. They's supposed to burn things and telling stuff. Poog is best at burning. Not even need bombs. Bombs fun, though. And good at telling too. Me tell all about Zarongel."
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"You no burn things, you ask Zarongel to burn things for you. Mogmurch bombs obey Mogmurch! Mogmurch so good at burning things and telling bombs, Mogmurch discover how to tell bombs NOT to burn things Mogmurch not want burned for some reason! THAT power!!! Plus, Mogmurch is smartest of all. Smart good." After this last declaration, a sad, barely-audible sigh escapes Mogmurch's maw. "Smart good."
Mogmurch visits the elderly shaman-chief-lady.
"So. What your name, what your job, and why you talk kind of like longshanks?"
Chuffy brags on his chiefly abilities, trying to make himself seem authoritative. Most of the Birdcrunchers simply avoid him, talking among themselves about how excited they are to witness the Moot. Chuff attempts to listen in, but he isn't able to learn anything about the contest.
Reta asks a number of Birdcrunchers about the former chiefs...
...and she eventually finds one willing to talk.
Reta has a hard time getting anyone to talk about the coming Moot, other than how excited they all are.
Poog wanders aimlessly through the Birdcruncher village. The goblins seem interested when he mentions fire and Zarongel... perhaps a display of prowess is in order.
Mogmurch attempts to strike up a conversation with the old goblin who welcomed them...
The old goblin woman speaks up again. "It is almost time for you all to rest and prepare for the Moot! Although we will begin tomorrow, but we will have a feast tonight in your honor!"
The feast consists of of various bird dishes — seagull soup, charred grackle, raven’s-eye pudding, vulture-ups, spicy sparrow poppers, and squeaky beakies.
As the feast nears an end, the old goblin appears holding the Crunch Crown of the Birdcruncher Tribe — a crown madeout of bird skulls and bones and wings and twigs.
"Whoever can prove their worth tomorrow will be granted the right to wear this crown. Now sleep! You will need all your wits and strength for the Moot."
At that, all the goblins begin to disperse.
Hmm, Reta thinks. Nice crown, but might mess up fancy veil. When chief, need to make them make new great double hat! She smiles to herself, satisfied.
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This soup not hot enough. Good chief fixes problems. I fix this. Poog thinks to himself, as he snatches a sparrow popper.
Trotting over to the big pot, he blasts the pot. Look at the power Zarongel gives me!
Grabbing a ladle (or the closest useful object he can find), he takes a big gulp of the now bubbling soup.
OUCH! MY TONGUE!
Grimacing, he tries to pass off the pain as enjoyment.
Ith much bether now.
Chuffy has never liked the way Reta's bottle of "human drink" smells, and spends the evening plotting ways to take it from her.
Or set it on fire.
As the sun rises the next day, there is a buzz of excitement throughout the Birdcruncher village. The goblins are all eager to find out who their new chief will be.
As the chieftains-in-waiting line up to begin the contest, you quickly note that none of the birdcrunchers are competing against you. One of you will indeed be the new chief of this tribe.
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh, the old goblin you met the day before, appears from the cave. "It is time to begin the Moot!" Her words are met with rapturous applause from the goblins that have gathered, which appears now to be the entire tribe. "The Moot will consist of three dares. You will all be judged upon your success... or failure. The one declared most worthy of the Crunchy Crown will become the new chief. For your first dare, you will be blindfolded." No sooner have the words left Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh's mouth than four goblins approach with blindfolds.
After the blindfolds are securely attached, you are led down into the nearby valley. You are each handed a bow and three arrows. Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh begins to speak, explaining the rules of the dare. I will release three cages of seagulls over the course of a minute, and you must shoot down as many of them as possible. The gulls in the first flock are worth 2 points, those in the second 4 points, and those in the third 6 points, but each consecutive flock is a bit farther away than the previous one, making it more difficult to notice. You are all using different colored arrows, so we will know who hits which bird."
After a few moments of silence, the first cage is opened...
All the goblins, except for Poog, hear the cage open and correctly determine the location of the birds. Shots fired!!!
Chuffy confidently fires in the direction of the gulls, and doesn't even think about how this would be a great time to "accidentally" shoot Poog.
Chuffy's arrow appears to be headed directly at a bird, but the shot doesn't compensate for the birds change in flight path.
Chuffy's disappointment is quickly alleviated... when his arrow strikes a hawk that had been chasing the gull. Maybe that explains its erratic flight. Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh is delighted by the shot. "That is some of the best shooting I have ever seen. A fine chief you could be. 10 POINTS TO CHUFFY!" Chuffy hasn't the nerve, or the stupidity, to tell her that the shot was accidental.
Mogmurch's shot comes extremely close to hitting a bird, missing at the last moment. Perhaps Mogmurch is as smart as he thinks.
Mogmurch's shot continues to fly however, and lands harmlessly many yards from the now jeering goblins. If it wasn't for Poog's performance, Mogmurch would be downright disgraced.
At the sound of the cage doors being lifted, Reta immeadiately lets off an arrow at the first thing she hears.
"You stop trying outdo Chuffy."
Reta's shot is true, bringing down one of the Gulls.
"2 POINTS TO RETA!" exclaims the old goblin.
Moments later, the next cage is opened...
SCOREBOARD
Chuffy - 10
Reta - 2
Poog - 0
Mogmurch - 0
All of the goblins react quickly, taking shots at the gulls released from the seconds cage. Mogmurch looses his arrow first. It sails just wide of the bird...
The arrows comes dangerously close to the onlooking goblins, resulting in shrieks from the crowd.
Poog's arrow flies next, striking one of the gulls from the sky! "4 POINTS TO POOG!"
Chuffy's fires blindly into the sky, again missing his intended target...
He isn't lucky enough to hit anything else this time, and his shot falls harmlessly to the ground.
Reta fires last. Her arrow appears to be on target, but it is evaded by the flight of the bird.
The arrow continues to sail well wide of the gathered goblins.
Moments after the new points totals are calculated by Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh, the third cage is opened.
SCOREBOARD
Chuffy - 10
Reta - 2
Poog - 4
Mogmurch - 0
"You goin' ta release gulls now? Chuffy tired of waiting."
... After the round ...
"There be three rounds, yes? Then Chuffy is winner! All hail Chuffy! Hawk-Gull killer!"
"The first dare is completed! Chuffy is the leader... so far. The next dare will test your balance and your ferocity in slaying stirges." With that, Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh leads your party and the onlooking goblins into the swampy lowlands to the west.
"In this dare, you will all begin on the southern shore of the bog, and you will be fitted with wide, clumsy, longshanks boots. A single stirge on a 5-foot-long tether is tied to each of the red posts. The goal of this dare is to kill as many stirges as possible without falling into the swamp below."[b]
A waiting goblin brings out four pairs of large boots, which you each slide onto your feet. The boots are awkward, and they hinder your ability to move as gracefully .
[b]"You should each walk across the planks to reach the stirges, who are tied to the posts. There are a total of 12 stirges, and each is worth 2 points. The dare ends once all stirges are dead. If you fall, you will be disqualified from continuing in the dare, although you do keep your points. If there is ever a point where only one of you remains, that goblin will be awarded 5 points"
BATTLE ORDER:
Reta <GO
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Poog
Reta rushes over towards the far plank, but frowns as the over-sized boots slow her movement. Not reach stirges easy. Stupid boots, Making it harder to kill gulls...
A wicked grin splays across her face as she moves and decides she might as well get a head start on the competition. As she runs she pulls out her shortbow, then lets loose an arrow as she reaches the bog's edge at the nearest stirge.
for [dice=1d4+1[/dice]
Reta's unorthodox strategy pays off as the first of the stirges dies.
"2 POINTS TO RETA!"
SCOREBOARD
Chuffy - 10
Reta - 4
Poog - 4
Mogmurch - 0
BATTLE ORDER:
Reta
Chuffy <GO
Mogmurch
Poog
"Anything Reta do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you."
And before these is any response: "Yes, I can!"
Chuffy moves , drawing his dogslicer as the oversized boots thump on the plank.
Chuffy takes a swing at the nearest stirge, hitting the large insect. His blow is not enough to fell the foul beast, but it is clearly injured.
SCOREBOARD
Chuffy - 10
Reta - 4
Poog - 4
Mogmurch - 0
BATTLE ORDER:
Reta
Chuffy
Mogmurch <GO
Poog
"If no stirge (or post!) left to be counted, then it no count!"
Mogmurch lofts a bomb in the direction of the stirge. It's impact in devastating, and the stirge disappears in a cloud of vapor. The splash from the attack reaches another nearby stirge.
The blast singes its wings badly, and the poor creature is on the verge of death. "2 POINTS TO MOGMURCH!"
SCOREBOARD
Chuffy - 10
Reta - 4
Poog - 4
Mogmurch - 2
BATTLE ORDER:
Reta
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Poog <GO
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Shoots the bugs and blow them up? Dese goblins are almost as smart as Poog. This will impress them, though. He thinks to himself.
"Hehehehehehehe"
With a surprising amount of care, he pulls out his most treasured possession, a slender, surprisingly clean black wand. Pointing it towards the middle of the swamp, he shouts a command word,
"BOOM!"
sending a small red ball flying into the middle of the swamp. He takes an uneven step forward to examine the carnage.
9 stirges are immediately incinerated by Poog's ferocious blast. The onlooking goblins stand awestruck, convinced that Zarongel himself has provided Poog with such incredible might.
"18 POINTS TO POOG!!!"
SCOREBOARD
Chuffy - 10
Reta - 4
Poog - 22
Mogmurch - 2
BATTLE ORDER:
Reta <GO
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Poog
Shaken by Poog's massive blast, Reta glumly tries to make her way a bit further out onto the plank to at least fell the last stirge.
for
Chuffy knows he will never out-bomb Modmurch or out fire Poog. Maybe he can out-word them.
"You should each walk across the planks... If there is ever a point where only one of you remains, that goblin will be awarded 5 points"
"A pointy order, Mummy Sprattleharsh," Chuffy pipes up. "Rules say must walk on planks for points. Chuffy only one on planks when all went boom. Those be Chuffy's points."
"And, Chuffy only one left on planks, so Chuffy last goblin standing, for 5 points."
"Ah-hem" Reta coughs loudly as she stares at Chuffy.