Jubal here
GAHAHA!!!
Praise Zarongel! I'm ready to burninate things good!
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You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result.
Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned down his hut.
That’s where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks—fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from
Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could be your chance to go down in
Licktoad history!
His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad rules Licktoad Village.
By tradition, Chief Gutwad does not speak directly to his subjects. Instead, he employs an advisor through whom he whispers instructions, for Chief Gutwad has convinced his goblins that the words that come out of his mouth are so mighty that they might frighten away all the words in the heads of lesser goblins. Only his duly appointed advisor,
an overdressed, pompous goblin named Slorb can handle the might of the chief ’s words without fainting from fear.
You find yourselves waiting outside the Moot hut for permission to enter.
So, guys, what's up with His Girthness wanting to talk to us? Do you think he heard about the fire (Zarongel be praised!) I set outside town?
"I bet he wants us to cooks up the yummy food. Fire and food, delicious! Black and burnt and crumbly!"
"Must be the fire. Yours or mine. Heh heh."
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Afer a few moments a high-pitched, nasal voice calls out from the hut. You may enter!
As the party enters the hut they see Chief Gutwad sitting precariously atop the teeter chair. the chief ’s Moot House is a veritable museum of Licktoad heroics— crammed with trophies such as stolen weapons, shiny bits of treasure, and the brine-pickled bodies of dozens of brutally slaughtered small furry animals (mostly dogs).
The nasally goblin points to the dirt ground before the Chief. Sit! It great honor to sit before Chief!
The small goblin clamors his way to the Chiefs side as he is to relay the chiefs words but instead the Chief himself speaks!
“You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a
dangerous mission.
“You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks. And it says there are more fireworks there! “I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!”
The chief turns his head towards the goblin at his side. Give them map Slorb and get out of house. Slorb digs through a pile of metal and bones and soon produces a crudely draw "map" and hands it to the party as he shoos them from the house.Prepare for bonfire tonight and we take evil away from you.
Mogmurch doesn't notice that the chief speaks instead of Slorb as he is too busy looking for anything shiny, near him, that won't be missed. When the voice refers to Slorb, he finally snaps back to realize the chief is speaking and realizes the implications, which momentarily stun him. He steps forward to take the map from Slorb but doesn't fight anyone else for it before leaving.
Fireworks? BIG Bonfire?!?
Chuffy's mind is filled with dreams of blowing many, many things up, and he barely pays attention to anything else that anyone says, simply nodding vigorously.
Poog listens intently to the chief. Every time the word "fire" is mentioned (including as part of the words "bonfire" and "fireworks", he pantomimes an explosion and mutters "Praise Zarongel!" When dismissed, Poog stands and leaves with an extra "Praise Zarongel!" for good measure.
Rita listens to the voice of the chief and cringes when he speaks, afraid of being made afraid. She leaves with the group somewhat confused, but Happy.
Mogmurch takes the map and finds a comfortable spot under a tree not far and sits down unfurling the map. He motions the other three to join him.
"lemme! " Says Rita grabbing at the map. She turns it several times and scratches her head. She redresses her bridal veil and dress and hands the map back. " You do it!" She says handing the map back.
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The goblin's toil all afternoon to build the bonfire out of branches, sticks and unburnt timbers taken from the ruins of scribbleface's hut. As night falls, a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teetering Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the bonfire. Soon the Chief produces a foot long wooden tube. The chief is handed a torch from a goblin below which he applies to the tube. The chief turns to Slorb and whispers in his ear.
Chief say that this evening for celebration. This bonfire is to ward away the evil spirits that Scribleface brought on Toadlicker Tribe. Tomorrow heroes... Slorb points to the party. Will go out and get treasure for the Chief. With this the chief lights the tub on fire. Within seconds arc of fire erupt from the tube. For each arc of fire that struck the bonefire just as many struck goblins that were just standing by. The goblin hoard erupted into cheers and laughter as the few goblins run around as the flames spread and the bonfire erupted into the sky above.
The bonfire erupting was the signal for the party to get started as the table featured all kinds of good food (snails, fish ad snakes.)The Chief signals his hand and soon a barrel of fermented apple ciders are brought out. Soon most of the goblins are eating the apples and drinking.
Mogmurch eats and drinks making merrier with his best girl Rempty who occasionally and embarrassingly licks his face clean.
He stows three days worth of food in his boot for the trip.
At the mention of evil spirits, Poog makes warding motions with his flint and tender. When the chief lights the bonfire, Poog makes another of his explosion motions and yells Praise Zarongel!
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As the night continues word spreads like wildfire that the four of you are going on the special quest for the Chief. Soon many goblins are excitedly approaching you with common Goblin dares. A few of the dares rise louder than others. Dance with Squealy Nord; Eat a bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick; Hide of get clubbed; The Rusty Earbiter. At the mention of these dares rising into the air the camp suddenly gets quiet. Soon Slorb yells out among the remaining chatter. The Chief say that if heroes complete dares he will give them personal special treasure. This is almost unheard of in the tribe and causes the goblins to go into a frenzy as they draw horse choppers and dogslicer's into the air. More than one goblin gets overly excited and jumps from the roof of a hut only to break most if his bones while a few others fall into rain barrels and drown as they are unable to get out. Soon the crowd is chanting for the heroes as the dares have been called out.
"Gimme slugs!" Says Rita, as she pushes her hair and veil back behind her ears. She licks her lips and prepares to eat up the delicacy
Mogmurch laughs at Rita and eats a bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick. Then, he licks his lips before Rempty gets to him and belches impressively.
CHuffy spends most of the festivities giggling wildly, although he oohs and aahs appreciatively when the Chieftain mentions 'special treasures'.
"Yes, slugs first!"
Sure, why not? Slugs!
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Bull slugs are black, wriggling slugs the size of sausages. Even among the goblins, they’re considered particularly foul-tasting and,
because of the large amounts of slime they exude, difficult to chew. A covered wicker basket containing the slug bag is brought before each member of the party, along with a napkin made out of a soggy leaf. Eating the slugs is not a problem, even though they wriggle, taste of
rotten fish, and burst with a little squeal when chewed.
As the baskets are laid before each member the chief begins to whisper into Slorb's ear. After a moment Slorb holds his hands into the air as he announces. Winner has special prize for this dare. The Grand Chief himself say that winner will get to borrow his very own mighty Gorge of Gluttons With this announcement the goblins work themselves into a frenzy as they ohh and ahhh over the special prize. Goblins are clamoring all over each other to get a look at the weapon as a few fall off of buildings to get a better look.
You will have one minute to eat all 5 slugs....... Begin
Chuffy does his best to put on a good show, attempting to swallow as many slugs as he can, whole!
Rita immediately chokes on the first slug, but she rebuffs herself and keeps cramming more down her throat.
"Baah! Would taste better with fire. Praise Zarongel!
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As the chief watches the spectacle of the four goblins chocking on the slugs he notices that Mogmurch only chokes on the second slug before he easily finishes the last three slugs.
Now there is our hero! The chief present to you his own blade that has slain a many longshanks, vile dogs and grotesque horse. With the word horse said the majority of the goblins in the camp cringe and a few whimper.
Slorb steps down and hands Mogmurch the blade from the chief.
If you do not return the chief's blade to him he said heads will roll With the blade in Mogmurches hands the goblin hoard erupts into the chant Next Dare..... Next Dare...... Next Dare....
Mogmurch holds the holy blade aloft to the elation. After the chanting tails off, he proudly shows the blade to Rempty.
Umm....hide of get clubbed? says Rita, less sure of herself thans before.
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As Rita calls out the dare for Hide or be clubbed the goblin who called out the dare smiles with jagged teeth as he runs off into the woods. Goblins all around the party begin to throw clubs in their direction.
Goblins begin to push you into the direction of the woods. Go.. Gooo Find him and you get to club him
Mogmurch heads out into the woods with Horse Slayer in his belt looking for the goblin.
Rita pursues quickly, her clothing fluttering about as she looks for signs of her target
Chuffy also eagerly goes looking...
Poog runs off in pursuit.
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As the party enters the woods Rita and Mogmurch both sight the goblin as he is half hiding in a bush, legs sticking out from the bush onto the trail. Poog and Chuffy wander the woods aimlessly with no sight of the goblin at all.
Mogmurch and Rita both get to club the goblin upon finding him.
As the goblins return to the festival after dragging the clubbed goblin back the chief looks to be quite impressed. Slorb stands and says.I have yet another surprise. Chief give ring to winners of dare. You be master of hide or get clubbed. Slorb hands the goblins a ring. This be the chief's mystical ring that lets you climb real good! You return to him with Glutton sword!
Rita's eyes widen even more than they normally do. "pretty ring... I need a ring for to get married. Gimme! I am such a pretty bride! " Rita snatches at the ring and threatens Mogmurch by brandishing her dogslicer. "what next?"
Mogmurch clubs the goblin.
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The party is drug away to a circular pit. What they have observed of Squealy Nord is that he is a fearsome boar who lives in a muddy pit in the middle of the village near the goblin baby cages. The goblin hoard believes and is frightened that squealy Nord consumes goblin corpses. One at a time you climb onto the tethered piglets back as a goblin suddenly thrusts down a dogslicer on the rope causeing Squealy Nord to go absolutely bersek and run into the circular pit.
After the muddy ride with Nord you are suddenly grasped as multiple goblins come rushing around a corner carrying a large coil of metal containing multiple goblin ears rotting as they are attached to the metal barbs. The large coil looks to be a hollow coil or rusty wires, barrel hoops, bent swords and thorny branches and vines. Quite a few goblins of the tribe seem very fascinated while other seem quite fearful of the contraption. Most if not all of the six goblins that helped unwind this contraption are bleeding from multiple gashes and slashed hands.
Chuffy manages to stay on the pig briefly, but quickly gets tossed. Fortunately, he is able to tumble through the air, and land on his feet.
Mogmurch feels the alcohol and his success at the other two challenges, so he gives Squealy Nord a ride. After finishing his successful ride, he quits the games to let his companions win some glory.
Poog manages to successfully ride the pig.
Rita also manages to ride the pig, but she is dubious about entering the death trap to wriggle through. She refuses this challenge inmediately.