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《THE TITLE》
*¤*¤--THE GARMENT OF WONDERFULLY--¤*¤*
*¤*¤--AWKWARD DISPLACEMENT--¤*¤*
(ooooh! Sparkly!)
《THE PITCH》
To the possible purveyors of this positively palpitating project of predicaments. I have artificed this artifact for the purposes of providing a creative platform with which to deal with party players who have been prevented from participating in the campaign for any amount of time. Have a party member who wont be able to show up for two RP sessions but your party is deeply entrenched within a dank, derelict dungeon beneath a city. He cant very well pull the “I went on a bender at the tavern” card, can he. Did just disappear?
Mayhaps you are a particularly skilled DM and you prefer to work story events into the campaign to explain your party member’s disappearance. But now you have to toil and travail thru tricky terrain as you try to transform you’re already titillating triumph of a story. Into something that will accommodate the disappearance.
Why bother with all those questions and quandaries when you have a perfectly devious device that is as hilarious as it is varied in the situations you can create with it. All of spells, abilities, and equipment can be found within various pathfinder manuals so its all RP friendly for both pathfinder and D&D. (Some substitutions may be required for use in D&D but they should be minimal.)
Also, its worth noting that I’ve mimicked the Wand of Wonder from D&D. Each if the dice rolls below is somewhat of a shout out to the original Wand of Wonder’s result list. So without further pomp and alliteration I give you:
¤¤¤THE GARMENT OF WONDERFULLY AWKWARD DISPLACEMENT¤¤¤(mythic artifact, cursed)
《THE FUNCTION》
The Garment of Wonder (for short) is a cursed article of clothing that attaches itself to a player as a cursed object that transports its bearer to a pocket of timeless space on an unknown plane of existence. While in this Oubliette of time the player gains no benefits from time passing (such as rest or renewal of special ability charges), however the player also is protected from any of the effects of the passage of time. (For example fatigue, hunger, or even death in the case of untreated wounds or poison).
When the bearer of this garment is ready to return to play just roll a d100 apply the result and poof! Your party is whole again, the returning member has no recollection of anything during his/her exile and they’ll have procured a shiny a new outfit to boot! (Bear in mind, however, that all summoned garments, jewelry and equipment disintegrate upon removal from the cursed character.)
For the finer rules and details see the information puke that follows, or If you just want to dive right in, skip to the rolls and follow the prompts.
Happy Gaming!
--Lord Maxtor
《THE DEVILISH DETAILS》
The Garment of Wonder always appears as whatever article of clothing a character would be most likely to desire. The Garment of Wonder has an Aura of Attraction that can be saved against however all characters within sight of this artifact must continue to make a new saving throw each round until they remove themselves from its presence, or until somebody picks it up and is cursed by it. It is unknown who created this cursed item but many of its affects point toward a certain trickster deity.
The Garment of Wonderfully Awkward Displacement has a mind of its. It may at times detach itself at anytime from its bearer in order lure in another unsuspecting creature. The Garment of Wonder can be removed via a remove curse spell however it invariably returns either to its most recent bearer or other members of its party.
This artifact activates randomly (at GM’s discretion) and then transports its bearer to a pocket of timeless space on an unknown plane of existence. While in this Oubliette of time the player gains no benefits from time passing (such as rest or renewal of special ability charges), however the player also is protected from any of the effects of the passage of time. (For example fatigue, hunger, or even death in the case of untreated wounds or poison).
Roll a d100 and see the table below to determine the affect. Note that each article if clothing, gear, weapons, or accessories function as Tear Away Clothing and provide no actual benefit. The spells and effects accompanying many of the clothing results (listed below) may included or removed at the discretion of the DM. The Garment of Wonder also attaches an illusory enchantment to each roll result below.
The illusion makes it appear as if the bearer’s original clothes have been completely replaced by the garment. All summoned garments, jewelry and equipment disintegrate upon removal from the cursed character.
(Note to DMs: This illusion was added to accentuate the humor and/or shock of each transformation. A large, chisel-chinned Paladin champion in shining armour popping back into the party with a Japanese Kimono stretched over his full plate +2 armor would look a bit strange, but the same paladin appearing in a flash with nothing on at all except for a kimono and geisha makeup would like throw the nearby party members into a fit of Hideous Laughter. Throw in saving throw rolls wherever you feel it is appropriate … or entertaining )
Roll a d100:
《0-5》---False Iron Mask with prisoner garb & cuffs (Heavy Aura 1d4 rounds)
《6-10》--Cleric’s Vestment (Flare the spell is cast then player appears. Note: Cleric vestment and Aura are full opposite the characters alignment for 1d4 rounds.
《11-15》--Ostentatious Garments: Massive long powder blue wig, Ruffled silk Shirt,
curled-toed boots, makeup (white foundation, rouge, mascara), padded shapewear embroidered pantaloons with codpiece)
《16-20》--Sylph winged cloak (fully opened) Gust of wind is cast 1 second after the character’s appearance.
《21-25》--Spiritual Leaders Vestments: The robes, jewelry and sashes bear the emblem of a golden lantern with colorful lights. The character is spawned with a note advising thus: you have 5 rounds to perform one of the following acts of obedience or take 1d6 psychic dmg.
--light a lantern and tell it a joke
--light a lantern and tell it the story of a prank you played on someone.
--light a lantern and play a prank on somebody in view of it.
《26-30》--Executioners outfit (tattered): heavy black cloth with baklava/hood & cape. (Haunted Fey Aspect: Self and Aura of Cowardice for 1d4)
《31-33》--Pirate Captain(noble): Long embroidered velvet or silk jacket with brass buttons, large plumed Hat, Ruffled collar, tall leather boots, long black wig, walking cane and tights.
《34-36》--Monster Mask: Stage performers mock monster costume with wig, moveable jaw mask and cloak (Stench Aura 1d4 rounds)
--Roll a d6:
《1》: Goblin
《2》: Gnoll
《3》: Hill Giant
《4》: Kobold
《5》: Orc
《6》: Troll
《37-46》--Monks Outfit: loose breeches, shirt, and sashes (0-level spell: Jolt) erupts out of each hand or fist of the character.
《47-49》--Swarm Suit: bee suit
《50-53》--Courtesan Outfit: (loose fitting silk dress with shawl, embroidered corset, oils & perfume)
《54-58》--Orcish Courtesan: Large, Sweaty, Stinky flowing gown with noxious perfume (au de rotting corpse) and bent, dented bangles and baubles of corrupted jewelry.
《59-62》--Soldiers outfit: heavy light cloth/leather + wool Kilt
《63-65》--Silk Kimono: Geisha complete with stylized hair and makeup
《66-69》--Dilettante: gnomish mismatched fine garment pieces with pockets
《70-79》--Hot Weather Outfit: White Thobe, scarf & Turban
《80-84》--Shinobi Sozoku: (ninja outfit) appears in a poof of mysterious smoke
《85-87》--Peasants Garb: tattered cloth shirt and pants + cloth wraps for shoes
《88-90》--Royal outfit:
--roll a D4
----《evens》: long embroidered jacket, silk ruffled shirt, long train robe, costume jewelry sceptre and crown.
----《odds》--Noble woman’s ball gown and hennin (princess)
《91-95》: Entertainers Outfit:
--roll a D6
----《1-3》: Belly Dancer: Aura of Seduction 1d4 rounds
----《4-6》: Court Jester: Hideous laughter (self) 1d4 rounds and infectious laughter
《96-97》--Cold Weather Outfit (Large Very Furry Cloak, Coat, Gloves, Pants, gloves)
《98-100》--Straight Jacket (Masterwork) This
item is in fact a fully functional straight jacket. It is the only article of clothing conjured by the Garment of Wonder that is not a cheap, tear away version of the real thing. Your party member may need some assistance getting out of this one. (DM: a wisdom save or fall into rage or panic?)
[END]
Plz let me know if you have any suggestions, or if you hate it (and why) or if you love it :) thanks!
I don't have any immediate suggestions but this is great. Wouldn't work for any of my campaigns (we're not that silly, yet anyway) but it's very amusing. Especially if the outfit strongly clashes with the PC adorned with it.
I don't have any immediate suggestions but this is great. Wouldn't work for any of my campaigns (we're not that silly, yet anyway) but it's very amusing. Especially if the outfit strongly clashes with the PC adorned with it.
thanks! the clash is exactly what I was going for. I think theres so much rp value in awkward situations. Dont count it out for serious campaigns. Thats where i expect it to shine.
Well, you actually used the word 'rouge' correctly <<11–15>>. When that word appears on these forums any other time, it's almost 100% incorrect for what it was supposed to be. But then you confused a 'balaclava' (the head covering) with 'baklava' (a delicious greek pastry) <<26–30>>.
Lol thanks for that correction: i thought it was strange that the headgear was the same spellingvas the the pastry. That explains it.
(Theres actually a TON of spelling and grammar errors in my original post and it's driving me nuts! But I cant figure out how to edit it. Are posts set in stone or am I just blind and not seeing the edit button right in front of my face?)
I think theres so much rp value in awkward situations. Dont count it out for serious campaigns. Thats where i expect it to shine.
It's amusing, but awkward situations and overt silliness do not belong randomly interjected into a serious game.
Would "The Lord of the Rings" have been better if Tolkien had said "the following morning, Samwise Gamgee awoke to find he had transformed into a dingy petrol station? Would the "Kingkiller Chronicles" have been improved if Rothfuss wrote the 19th chapter upside down in disappearing ink? No.Humor has it's place: a scene with jester may be funny. An out-of-game joke might relieve tension. But not as part of the fabric of the game itself. Not of you're trying to tell anything more than a zany romp, anyway.
Also, just to be clear, "role playing" is literally playing a role. When you choose to swing a sword or cast a spell or sneak past the ogres or talk to the guards, you're role playing. What most people call "rp" is acting. The theatrical delivery of actual results playing. Which is not for everyone; I've run games for players who refused to act. Who refuse to even acknowledge another player's attempt at acting. But they still role play.