, which is Dwarven for "tofu",
an essential component used in
casting Mordenkainen's Noxious Souflee, was
not merely a character from
a series of children's books
but a living, breathing, farting
derro minion of Orcus--named
Justin Timberlake, his high squeaky
voice dealing 20d6 sonic damage.
countryside, glass shattered and spleens
ruptured as Justin walks again.
"Now THAT'S evil.", quipped Orcus.
Cameron nodded in agreement, as
additional piercing squeals emanated from
Nibbles, Orcus' favorite pet ghoul
, who'd just swallowed the squeaky
toy given him for Obox-obmas.
Then, Santa Thabnurc'nurc'uloth said, "Ho
ho HOBMOBMACHBWAHAHAHA (*reverb*) everyone", as
the clock struck midnight. Children
put out flesh cookies and
curdled milk to attract the
jolly ooze templated ogre to
search the house for more
cats. Once, there were millions
of kobolds, enough for him
decorating his colossal Obox-obmas tree
, hanging entrails off the gutters,
pinning half-dead kobolds to
the heads of naughty children,
and calling 900 numbers on
His Evil Abyssal Cell Phone
of Ineffable Doom. "What's that
schlorping up the chimney," asked
the severed animated kobold head
Lord Juiblex and his dancing
liver, a highly accomplished organ
filled with egg nog?" Sadly,
it was only Malconthet with
Rudolph the red nosed dretch
scrounging for leftover gingerbread men
nuclear blast at Santa's workshop
at the Abyssal North Pole.
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