[PFS/Shifty] We b4 Goblins! (Chuffy's Choppers) (Inactive)

Game Master Nik B.

Meanwhile, in the back of a wagon...

Mogmurch keeps her busy whilst little Chuffy sneaks into the back of the wagon and gets all light fingered.

Maggie’s wagon is filled with all sorts of things, including colorful scraps of cloth, empty bottles, a barrel of seawater, a small keg of grain alcohol, labels, two pots of glue, a well-used makeup kit, a small mirror, a stuffed raven, a makeshift alchemy lab, 7 torches, a potion (of who knows!?), and five more bottles of “Magical Maggie’s Miracle Medicine”

Chuffy tries taking the glue, the raven, the mysterious potion, and as many of the five bottles of "Miracle Medicine" as he can carry.

Chuffy thieves the half the wagon, stuffing it all into a blanket.

Mog keeps up the conversation, quite interested. "That nice hat you's wearing. Mog needs a good hat too. Don't think am having any geepees... What's they looking like? If Mog finds some, he bring them for bottled fire."

Not sure if I need a bluff roll or not seeing as Mog is sincere. =D
1d20 ⇒ 19

Her face falls a bit as she realises Mog has no money and for a second looks like she is going to burst in a fit of frustration, but Mogs calm and soothing Goblin demeanour finds her fishing out a round and shiny coin - "Like this" as she holds the coin forward "One golden crown"

Chuffy can be seen dragging away a blanket with a big lump in it, but the woman with the crazy hat doesn't see.

With no further business being conducted, she packs up her cart and gets the donkey moving again out of the mud.

***

Chuffy goes through his ill gotten goods - looking closer he uncovers a map of the local area with a large, red “X” drawn on one spot—a local longlegs farm—as well as a gilded envelope containing a sparkly piece of paper covered in words.

He then waves back before approaching the ornery Licktoad feast mule and offering the bottle after undoing the top to said mule.

Mule did not drink strange potion, didn't bit either - was busy stuck in mud

:)

Poog goes to look for Chuffy and the others, since the longlegs and her not-horse four-legs didn't seem to be good enough food for them.

"Wutcha gott?"

In the blanket there is a pot of glue, a stuffed raven raven, a mysterious potion, and five bottles of "Miracle Medicine". There is also the horribly offensive bright and sparkly word covered paper and the map.

Poog hisses at the words and looks for FIRE to burn the obscenity out of the collective misery of all goblins!

WORDS BAD!

Zarongel sez: Or perhaps a heresy of this magnitude should be brought to the attention of the authorities!

Mog knows words is bad and wrong, but he looks it over to see if he make sense of it all the same...

Er... Int check?: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 1 = 12

"Maybe chief will reward us for bringing nasty words to destroy?"

Is it time to go show off our toadies? Also, I am worried we has lost our Reta... =(

Not a bad roll!

Mogmurch can't make heads or tail of it, but the sheer gravitas of the sparkly paper is not lost on him. This needs to go straight to the Chief!

***
The group triumphantly returns to the dank grandeur of Licktoad Village.

Older goblins crowd around to inspect your new toads, and gawk at trinkets uncovered during the big adventure, and shout half-formed questions.

Whelp-wrangler Loptop eventually shoves her way to the front of the mob.

“Pssht! You?! Didn’t think you would be first back from the bog. Didn’t think you’d be back at all! Brinestump be dangerous today! Slorb saw a stranger on the road this morning, a pointy elfy one with a sparkly hat and a bright wagon and a funny horse. Get you stabby stuff—we’re off to find her and give her a good Licktoad welcome!”

Mogmurch is holding the offensive sparkly paper and map in his pocket...
Reveal away!

"Wi fownd nastee evl wurdz! ANN MAPP! ZARONGEL SAYZ THEY BAD! WE MUSST BURN THE BADZ and wut made BADZ!"

Translation: We found the infidel writing of 'words' and need to purge the impure from the land, that we might redeem ourselves in the eyes of the biggest badarsed Goblin God of them all! FOR THE ZARONGEL! *coughs*

Mog crosses his arms over his narrow chest at Loptop's derision. "We has already seen elfy longshanks in flashy hat. See, she looking like this!" He says, pointing out her picture on the bottles of miracle medicine. "Chuffy so sneaky he gets these things from her wagon while Mog keep her talking. She wanted geepee crowns of gold and she gives bottles of healing and fire for them. She had these evil words and map. Chief need to see this, now." He nods proudly as he produces the papers. "And we all has our toads now too." He says, sticking out his tongue and giving Amfibier a pointed lick.

They are mystified by Poogs outburst, but as he's mentioning that wurdz are bad and something about burning things they nod knowingly - he is clearly a sensible and upright member of goblin society.

On hearing about the theft from the wagon, Loptop looks a little disappointed about missing the shenanigans, but several goblins run off into the swamp to start looking for the colouful wagon and see what other malice they can cause.

Loptop’s disappointment slowly turns to approval though "Who the stranger? What else was found?" Loptop looks at the words "I'll take the writing to show Slorb and Chief Gutwad!"

"If you got nothing else, you go rest, you Licktoads now!"

***

You have had time to sleep off the morning’s excitement, trade newfound treasures for additional weapons or fire, and visit Nasty Grammel for some healing (free now that you're grown up!).

After a few hours, word spreads of a meeting in Chief Gutwad’s moot house, and the entire village gathers in the sagging, smoke-filled hut.

The moot house is stacked high with jars of strange, fuzzy creatures preserved in pickle brine, and the skinned hides of anything else too large for even the mightiest jar.

The chief holds up a single hand—a human’s, by the look of it—from atop his tall chair, silencing the goblin horde. All the goblins know that His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad is a goblin of such remarkableness that the mere sound of his voice has driven goblins to madness or made heads explode. Therefore, his faithful advisor

Slorb speaks on the chief ’s behalf.

“Our new goblin heroes have returned with horrible, horrible news: A stranger has brought horrible, horrible words into our swamp. Extra-horrible words! Because these words sparkle. Maybe they be magic words. Maybe even worse magic than regular words. The stranger also had a map, and Chief Gutwad knows from looking at the map that this is clearly where the longshanks MAKE their terrible sparkly words! They be planning something bad. But we be goblins! We be the baddest thing! Licktoads will march on longshanks word-makers and smash everything!

“Light the fire! Sharpen blade!
We be goblins! We make raid!”

Any actions before the raid starts?

Mog secretly hopes that the elfy woman manages to avoid the goblins going after her, or that at least her hat might survive unscathed. He tries to identify the mystery potion from Maggie's wagon.

1d20 + 1 ⇒ (15) + 1 = 16 Not sure what to use, but assume it's INT based.

You can find out, its a potion of spider climb

The small Goblin warband moves through the forest chittering and giggling about the trouble they know they are set to inflict.

The light forest and overgrown field give way to a rundown little farm bustling with activity. Colorful paper and cloth hang from the barn and house, and tables loaded with food and drink are scattered around the yard. In the center of it all stands a cake that rises nearly two goblins tall and drips with icing and custard. A few slices have already been removed, revealing an interior that looks moist and delicious.

This is a bit of a sandbox type raid, there are a few main key points of interest that you can basically roll in and create carnage with, and there is no expectation that you will wreck every area on offer (indeed there's a lot of enemies!) - its more come up with a general scheme of mayhem and then go cause a calamity.

Key points of note:
The yard/celebration.
The barn.
The animal pens
The farmhouse.
-Pick a couple of places, and give an overview of your plan, and let's see just how much chaos you can cause :)

Poog comes up with a truly terrifying series of ideas...

If the goblins can put the right fences into place, then all the animals from the barn can be chased into the pens.

Then the fences to the pens can be weakened in the direction of the yard/celebration and all the animals scared towards them to stampede the yard/celebration.

While that is going on, a daring explosives expert can direct their amazing vicious bombs towards the farmhouse, to bring it down.

It's probably a bit of overreach, but let no one say Poog isn't dreaming BIG.

Little Goblins dreaming big. Should be a motivational poster

Anyone else? :)

The goblins move towards the pens to begin carrying out the plans...

Pens:

These outdoor animal pens house a total of seven fat goats and an enormous sow nursing her young piglets. The animals have good noses and smell the little Goblin raiders, and move away to the corner of their pens nervously - all except one plucky little piglet who moves towards you sticking its face up to the side of the pen to regard you with his squinty eye. He seems completely unphased by your Goblin-ness.

Taking 10 on steaths for 24 total.
Mog nods appreciatively and points out the bold piglet. "That a good piggy, we take that piggy home to be Licktoad too."

He tosses pumpkin seeds in a row to lure the piggy to them.

"How we weaken fence, Poog? Mog have oil, you want Mog should put fence on fire? Or burn barn?"

Mog look around for things to make this work. What gate made out of?

Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15

The piglet comes forward, rather precocious little thing - almost big enough for a small Goblin to climb on. The little piglet simply decides the seeds are for him...

The fence is made of wood - and has a small latch holding it shut.

Chuffy snickers as he begins to fool with the latch.

Disable Device: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (5) + 7 = 12

The latch opens, it was designed to stop goats - not goblins.

The small piglet pushes out through the gate almost immediately, obviously keen to see what is going on. The rest of the animals cower.

Mogmurch gives the piggy another pumpkin seed and a pat on the snout. He then slips into the pen and goes to the back, opposite the gate and makes a try at getting the critters to stampede.

Shoo!: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2

But clearly, an animal wrangler he is not.

The little piglet enjoys his pumpkin seeds and then checks out the rest of the Goblins, expecting more pumpkin seeds or something.

Mog tries wrangling the animals out, but rather than flee they seem to get further stuck in the corner.

Poog moves to the barn to engage the next step of the daring plan by opening the door and then using pointy things that are always inside longshank places to pointy-poke all the animals out into the other animals with a feral smile, and jumping on one if they aren't moving.

RIDE!: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18

Poog opens the door, he is rather surprised to find the biggest longshanks he's ever seen staring back at him through puffs of funny smoke from a jaunty pipe. He looks at the longshanks, the longshanks looks at him a moment, then at the pipe - the back at Poog.

He reaches for his blade.

R1
Chuffy
LONGSHANKS!

Chuffy winks at Poog, then presses his body against the wall, Ouch in hand.

Stealth: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (9) + 15 = 24

readied attack for when Very-Longshanks gets in range: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 11
damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0

The Longshanks comes marhing in with a longsword big as Poog!
Chuffy whacks at the fellow from surpriz, but misses the shot!
The man swings at Poog!

Attack 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7
Damage 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

Poog gets lucky, clearly the smoke confused the man!

R1 continues
Mog
Reta
Poog

R2
Chuffy
LONGSHANKS!

Poog moves to give Chuffy help hitting and pulls out the beating stick!

'Quarterstaff' 'flanking': 1d20 - 1 + 2 ⇒ (15) - 1 + 2 = 16

Damage: 1d4 - 2 ⇒ (4) - 2 = 2

Clearly longshanks stix must be used for beating longshanks!

Mog trots over to the other side to see what happening and lobs one of his gourds at the big longshanks.
Ranged Touch: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15 Fire Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 4

We has switched gears since Mog was last here. Can Mog declare he had boomy gourd in hand in preparation? If not just the move and draw.

Its Mogmurch, he's specifically here raiding to rek things, and he's near flammable barns and buildings - having a bomb in hand seems reasonable

Mog hits the man with a flash bang and fire.

Poog has now worked out why his stick wasn't working before - and smacks the Longshanks with it!

R1 continues
Mog - chukz fire
Reta - cheering in the sidelines (MIA)
Poog -attacked

R2
Chuffy
LONGSHANKS!

LS 6

Acrobatics to avoid attack of opportunity: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (4) + 7 = 11

Well that's not much good, but IF he makes it/the attack misses anyways...

Ouch: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 11
damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (4) - 1 = 3

Chuffy misses!

The man steps back and tries to beat out the flames!
1d20 ⇒ 8
-fail

R2 continues
Mog -
Reta - cheering in the sidelines (MIA)
Poog -

R3
Chuffy
LONGSHANKS!

LS 6

Mog draws a flask of oil and tries tossing it like a splash weapon. Hoping to catch the longshanks or maybe at least SOMETHING on fire!

Ranged Touch: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11 Fire Damage?: 1d6 ⇒ 6

Mog smashes another bottle of fiery doom into the man.

/also R2 damage. 1d6 ⇒ 4

The man falls over as a small human bonfire.

/End combat.

Poog reaches over and takes the pipe, and then smokes it to get rid of the evil longshanks ickyness!

Then he'll look for any other things not tied down that would be handy to goblins before adding some straw to the human bonfire to make the barn a bonfire and then.. THE WORLD! BWAHAHAAHHAHAH! *Poog bashes player with Longshanks Beater +0!*

Poog takes the pipe and starts a fire, it is totes pretty as it catches on...

The piglet seems to smile for a half a second, then takes off like a bolt of lightning - you follow up behind him and from around the corner of the barn you hear people screaming.

The piglet has drawn a bee-line for a gigantic wedding cake and has smashed through it at full pace - creating an explosion of cake and frosting. Two mini-longshanks are yelling and screaming, one of them is a woman longshanks with a cool lace hat.

Surpriz Round
Reta
Poog
Chuffy
Mogmurch

Too far for Mog to toss, so he will sneak up some, using tables for cover.

Stealth: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (16) + 14 = 30

Moggy is like magic vanished!

Poog probably isn't as good as that and Moggy took the GOOD hiding spot, but he'll try to use a different table!

Double Move, Stealthy

Stealth: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (5) + 10 = 15

Chuffy tiptoes forward...

Stealth: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (9) + 15 = 24

Reta MIA

2d20 ⇒ (1, 4) = 5

The couple seem to have no idea about the Goblins and are moving in to give the piggy a sound beating!

R1
Poog
Chuffy
Mogmurch

Half-speed double-move....

Stealth: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (3) + 15 = 18

Poog pulls out Longshank Beating Stick Pluz Nuthin' and moves closer to the table while making some squealing noises!

Bluff(sound like piggy): 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8

Chuffy and Poog move up.

Poog makes some strange noise that sounds like someone stepped on a random barnyard animal, the two mini-longshanks look around.

Mog moves up, still taking cover behind the tables, but he bump a chair or two in the process. Double move, being a good deal less stealthy.
Stealth: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (3) + 14 = 17
Stealth: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (2) + 14 = 16

The woman moves in and starts kicking the piggy!

The man wanders over to look at what the strange noise is...

R2
Poog
Chuffy
Mogmurch